College Essay

[mimimae]

Growing up in rural Maine, I learned many lessons about the woods and the creatures that dwell within them. For example, the key to getting rid of black flies is to simply run wildly around while flailing your arms until, out of complete exhaustion, you fall onto the spring grass and can no longer feel the pests biting you. Also, I learned

Comments

[j3mp_nips]

it was good, but you forget to mention that boys can i have sand in their vaginas in maine.

[mimimae]

hmm i'll make sure to edit it and send it to my colleges again.

[psuedocanadian]

that's much better than my essay was. What exactly were the dudes with the guns doing? I was waiting for you to focus your steely eyed concentration on beating the crap out of them and saving the day :(

[mimimae]

i'm sorry i could not live up to your expectations of me as a super hero. I would have gladly kicked their asses but because they are the mexican army who are notorious for making people 'disappear' i decided against that idea. That day i had also forgotten my passport and visa-ish thing, thankfully they didnt check for those things. They did check for drugs though. Apparently a driver from the company who was driving us had been busted within a few weeks and where we were is a high traffic area. The town where we stayed was Puerto Aventuras which is the spring board for cocaine from columbia to the united states, the yachts with their attack dogs were as numerous as the army with their machine guns.

[chocotaco22]

that was such a good idea for an essay! i wrote mine on squishing an ant with a razor blade. colleges probably only accepted me because they felt bad for me and my pathetic life. your essay was a lot more exciting though. where did you apply?

[mimimae]

i'm so confused, why did you squish an ant with a razor blade???

i applied to UNE and Umaine

[chocotaco22]

haha i squished it because it was in the bathroom when i was brushing my teeth to go to bed and i was too tired to take it outside. but i was so horrified by what i had done that i couldnt even scrape it off the wall so it just stayed there and decayed. i guess it was kind of a metaphor for how we daily hurt others out of our own laziness. but i wish i had traveled or something like you did so that i would have had something better to write about.

[beeje]

Wow, you're an amazing writer

[mimimae]

i wouldnt say amazing because it took me weeks and weeks to write it. if i was amazing i would have shit it out in an hour

[whibouchard]

I love it shelly, and you are an amazing writer.... shitting it out in an hour would have made you an utterly amazing bullshitter, but an amazing writer, that's even better