Well, as far as sentient conifers go, this guy isn't as hostile as they come.
So that's the first good piece of news all day.
"I'm not even sure," Wendy says wearily. "I do know how they feel rocketing towards your skull at eighty miles an hour, which is a pain that no mortal should have to face before their morning java jolt."
"Oh, they implemented a beta version of ineffable woods search, but they failed to properly protect against counter-searching. They had a lot of problems with ineffable woods finding people's home addresses."
Which, as Wendy could surely imagine, was extremely dangerous.
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Yep.
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Resigned.
"Please don't pelt me with the Cones of Penitence."
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Filif laughs. (It sounds like wind rustling his branches, but it also sounds like a laugh.)
"I will not pelt you with the cones of penitence," he promises, solemnly, in the same wind-rustle voice. "What are they?"
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So that's the first good piece of news all day.
"I'm not even sure," Wendy says wearily. "I do know how they feel rocketing towards your skull at eighty miles an hour, which is a pain that no mortal should have to face before their morning java jolt."
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"And you have the map of the Woods of Ineffable Mist. Excellent!"
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"And I also have the Cone of Power." A glance down at the luminous pine cone under her arm, then up at the boss.
"You know, you'd think Google Maps would have a function for finding ineffable woods by now."
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Which, as Wendy could surely imagine, was extremely dangerous.
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"Man-hunting woods."
Beat.
"I may never sleep again."
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