(Untitled)

[monthly_gift]

There is deafening crack of thunder when Mother Nature appears in the bar this time, with a bag full of small red gift boxes to rival Santa's toy sack. Her face reflects the fury she feels, and any woman who comes close to her is liable to be given a gift, whether they recently got one from her or not. Men...your pants might just fit a little more

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[numbered_doctor]

At the moment, Mother Nature has a very startled doctor staring at her, mug of tea paused mid-motion to her mouth as she tries (and fails) very hard to at least not be obvious about it.

[monthly_gift]

Not subtle enough. Mother Nature reaches into her bag with a feral smile.

"A gift! For you!"

[numbered_doctor]

Instinctively, Thirteen leans away from the angry looking woman with the strange package.

"Um...for me?"

[monthly_gift]

"Absolutely."

She takes a step forward, offering the gift.

"See? It even has your name on the tag."

As if by magic, the name Remy appears on a tag that may not have been there a moment before.

[thatinyourpipe]

Here's one who dares. He'd actually sympathize on the oil spills part. It's one of the reasons he doesn't like loggers or strip miners, all tearing up his woods and mountains.

At the moment, as prominent as ever.

"Ah, another year of foolish humans. They really don't learn well do they?"

[monthly_gift]

There is a rumble of thunder...strange sound in the indoors, and her eyes flash.

"What year isn't?"

She sniffs and asks the bar for another glass. She pours him some of the wine and nudges it in his direction.

"You'd think that, after millennia of screwing themselves out of the things they need most, they'd have learned something.

[thatinyourpipe]

Pan was graceful in his gratitude for once as he accepted the glass and, eyed the rafters overhead. He took a quaff, and set the glass down on the counter.

"They're so easy to misguide, and they get distracted. It's why we have to guide them like sheep and goats."

[monthly_gift]

"I think sheep and goats are smarter. How many of them strip the Earth bare, bore into her and pollute her out of simple greed?"

Her first glass is already gone. She pours another.

[spandexed_edie]

OOC: What about female pups...that can't receive a gift?

"It's too bad about those sperm whales. Life's just not going to be the same," says a lounging mutant from a nearby couch.

[monthly_gift]

[OOC: She may still experience cramping, bloating, etc. Or she could get her own personal rain cloud...]

Thunder cracks overhead again, and Mother Nature's eyes flash.

"Life for them certainly won't, and they seem to be a damn sight more intelligent than most humans."

[spandexed_edie]

Edie glances up with a grin.

"I'll grant you most humans aren't very bright. I mean, humans are the ones than named the whales after sperm anyway. I'm sure the whales are humiliated."

She crosses her ankles.

"Maybe the whales are intentionally getting into the oil spills to commit suicide from the sheer humiliation of being called 'sperm whales' to begin with."

[monthly_gift]

"I'm sure you think you're being clever, but you're only convincing me that humans are even more stupid that I gave you credit for."

Is that...a small cloud...forming over the super villainess?

[remindmeof_me]

"Shit," says the fellow in Marine fatigues a little ways down the bar, "that sounds familiar. You with Greenpeace or somethin'?"

It's been decades since they existed in his world, but hey, worth a shot.

[monthly_gift]

"Greenpeace? Greenpeace?"

Thunder rumbles as she lets out a laugh that Isn't Nice.

"You might say I'm something like that. They try to serve me, in their own odd way."

[remindmeof_me]

Aw, fuck, he's in for it now, isn't he. Well, nothing much he can do about it.

"Gotcha," says Shephard. "Makes you one of the scary-ass class of patrons, huh? I ain't real clear on who all comes here 'n who all doesn't."

[monthly_gift]

She's somewhat amused by that description.

"Mother Nature. If you find that scary...all the better."

[tavar_of_alera]

"What are sperm whales?" a little Roman-looking boy asks timidly, his green eyes wide. He looks about eight.

[monthly_gift]

Well, damn. He's just a child...but he will grow to an adult one day, and spawn more planet parasites...

Deep breaths! Don't smite the child for might bes...

"A whale is like a large fish that gives birth to its young instead of laying eggs. They're quite large, and they are endangered because humans are idiots and have nearly killed them all in one way or another."

[tavar_of_alera]

Oddly, of all the human males who might have approached her, Tavi is the least likely to endanger a planet.

"...Why are they killing them?" Tavi's voice is serious and thoughtful. "And what did you mean, oil spills and killing the planet?"

[monthly_gift]

"Initially, they were killed for food, which is fine...humans are omnivores, after all. Then they began killing them for other, frivilous reasons and manufacture."

She isn't quite grinding her teeth at the thought.

"Oil spills happen when humans are careless with the transport of their fuel, and it dumps into the ocean in large amounts, killing countless creatures and ruining ecosystems."