(Untitled)

May 09, 2007 21:30

[OOM: ...To be announced.]

Once again dressed in his Staples uniform (complete with nametag), Dwight enters the bar ( Read more... )

jack bauer, james bond, dale cooper, harry welsh, le chiffre, will scarlett, officer parkman, dwight schrute

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Comments 117

inadell May 10 2007, 03:00:02 UTC
From where he's writing at his table, Harry glances up just enough to see Dwight pulling on the bar. A little humored grin crosses his face giving the man a few seconds to keep tugging on Bar before he finally clears his throat.

"You know, kid, the more you keep doing that the more likely she's gonna have your ass kicked."

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schrute_space May 10 2007, 03:12:57 UTC
A scoff. There are very few females he fears in this world - most of them carnivores with powerful jaws and fierce maternal instincts, the beasts of the wild kingdom who would defend their young with all their might.

The other was Angela.

He has no fear of some 'Intergalactic She-Bar'. "Uh, thanks," Dwight says with smug amusement, " but I think I can handle myself against a Bar."

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inadell May 10 2007, 03:14:36 UTC
"Fine," Harry says just as smug, "get yourself turned into a woman. I'll be there laughing my fucking ass off when she does." Looking back down at the letter he's still trying to write, the paratrooper then glances back up at Dwight.

"She also turns people into puppets if you don't watch your P's and Q's."

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schrute_space May 10 2007, 03:41:40 UTC
Dwight looks horrified, jumping back from the bar as if she had shocked him. "What do you mean? It won't do that, right?"

Oh God a woman. He couldn't imagine a crueler punishment if he tried but to be reduced to some emotional wreck with poor upper-body strength.

(...though he would find out what it was like to menstruate.)

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spcl_agt_cooper May 10 2007, 03:29:45 UTC
Cooper, with his milk and his pie a la mode, watches this very curiously.

A moment later, he reaches inside his jacket.

Click.

"Diane, I've moved beyond the reach of any customary measure of time again. I will never cease to be amazed at the levels of initiative contained within the human spirit. The selfsame principles that led to engineering feats such as the pyramids in Giza are on display right in front of me. Remarkable, that a man should expect to move an object such as a very solid bar -- maple, with several coats of quality varnish, with possibly some magical means of upkeep beyond the rituals that invest it with the ability to provide both organic and inorganic objects -- that a man can expect to move something like this majestic structure without the aid of such tools as are introduced to the modern American student in their introduction to the delights of Newtonian mechanics. Fantastic."

Click.

It's very good pie.

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schrute_space May 10 2007, 03:43:50 UTC
Never missing a thing, Dwight takes note of this man just after he's done talking. (Though he didn't notice it was that man talking but still...) With a snap of his fingers, he calls to him, "Hey you, over here."

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spcl_agt_cooper May 10 2007, 03:53:00 UTC
Cooper raises his eyebrows. "Are you talking to me?"

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schrute_space May 10 2007, 04:24:30 UTC
"Uh, no, I'm pointing at the invisible man sitting right in front of you," he says, sighing. "Just come over here and help with this, would you?"

The guy may be a dullard but he might be useful in Dwight's investigation.

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