(Untitled)

[igottawrite]

"Suzanne! Where's the bid at and how much do I have to give to the sex people now?"

Of all the gin joints in all the multiverse that you could be walking backwards into and shout that while you're not looking where you're going...

Matt stops in his tracks.

"...This is punishment for something I did but don't know it yet, isn't it."

Comments

[callitavesper]

The man at the bar with a cup of coffee (!!!) glances at Matt, then around the bar, then back at Matt, having seen nothing he would consider a punishment. This, plus Matt’s previous statement, makes for a very confused James Bond.

Woe.

[igottawrite]

Yeah, he should have expected that reaction, shouldn't he.

"No, it's really nothing, it's -- well, you'd think I was sexist weirdo if you only got the facts but the thing is, I'm actually doing a nice thing here."

All of that comes out very quickly and with more than a little gesticulating.

[callitavesper]

That statement confuses things even more. Bond so wasn’t getting sexist from bidding and paying sex people. He stares at Matt with slightly narrowed eyes, then says, “Are you, really?”

Enlighten him!

[igottawrite]

"Yes, in fact I am! Some people--" and it's very clear that by "some people" he really means one person in particular-- "aren't given to waiting around for reasoned explanations. Then again, they're also probably blinded by irrational preconceptions, but you got to admit, they're usually worth a try anyway."

Obfuscating much?

[obnoxiousadams]

Sitting nearby is a Man With Answers.

And this man has an answer for Matt.

It is a simple one, consisting of one word.

"Yes."

[igottawrite]

It really ought to surprise any normal person to see a guy all decked out in colonial gear, but Matt works in Hollywood: it's a quiet day when someone isn't wandering around in a lobster costume.

He blinks at the fellow. "I don't think there's any need to jump to conclusions about this." That's his job, after all, and he doesn't like to farm it out to anyone else.

[obnoxiousadams]

John shrugs.

"If you ask me, it sounded like you were the one about to jump to a conclusion."

But he won't lie, no. He likes this place. People admire him and there's alcohol and best of all, NO CONGRESS. It's paradise.

[igottawrite]

"Oh, I'm way ahead of you, buddy. I'm a walking self-fulfilling prophecy."

Which explains so much, really.

[will_scarlett]

Will's actually smiling today and feels like confusing the nice man,

"Aye, it tis, when did ye last go to confession?"

[igottawrite]

Matt turns around. "Are you kidding me? I'm Jewish, we only get one day a year for that kind of thing, and frankly, I'm right about this one."

Argue ye not with a self-convinced man, my son.

[will_scarlett]

But its so much fun and makes the outlaw grin and he is grinning a lot and looking medieval and disbelieving,

"Aye, ne'er met a Jew 'fore, tend to stay away from Nottingham, tisna profitable 'nough for 'em."

[igottawrite]

He blinks.

He tries to parse that sentence.

He fails.

"I'm sorry, was that English?"