Fic: Muscle Memory (Baltar/Gaeta: NC-17)
Earth is a joke.
A sick, cosmic joke.
Felix figures the only joke sicker is the one where Felix’s leg was shot off in the chase for this stupid pipe dream of a planet. His agony, his sacrifice - for nothing.
Hobbling around the tent set up for him in Earth’s irradiated dirt, placing the framed photo of his parents atop a few storage boxes, Felix finds out that in fact, the cosmos has one last joke in mind for him, even sicker than the last:
Gaius Baltar is standing at the threshold to his tent, body slightly bowed, his voice quiet and tentative, asking if it’s okay to come in.
A sudden, heaving laughter consumes Felix. Baltar’s shocked reaction only makes Felix laugh harder, so hard that his crutches begin to slip out from under him. Felix is surprised - for a moment, ruefully touched - when the sight of Felix teetering sends Baltar flying over the threshold in a panic and into Felix’s arms. His strong, still whole, godsdamn him body pins Felix close as he struggles to help keep Felix upright.
Felix shakes him off like an insect. “Frak, Gaius! I can handle it!”
He realizes too late that he’s used his given name. In his vengeful dreams, Felix has always kept things formal between them; even in his dreams, he needs distance to tell the man off properly, to catalog his sins with the requisite amount of dispassion.
This is not at all how their reunion goes in his dreams.
It certainly doesn’t involve Gaius’ warm breath tickling his at his ear. It doesn’t involve him bending in to lean atop one of Felix crutches, whispering, “I miss you.”
“Liar,” Felix says through gritted teeth. He yanks Gaius’ head into a violent kiss that tears Gaius open and plucks a keening whine from the back of the his throat. Felix lets go only when he feels Gaius’ desperate gasps for breath. Using the arm strength he built in rehab, he flings Gaius off him and sends him stumbling backward onto the unused cot.
A cruel, self-satisfied smirk crosses Felix’s face at the panicky desire he recognizes in Gaius. But Gaius is already sloughing off his leather jacket, fumbling at his shirt buttons, keeping one amazed eye on Felix, who despite the crutches, is closing the distance between them with surprising speed.
Insofar as this moment has had any planning behind it at all, Felix meant it as a violation. But the Gods evidently have a sense of humor about these things. With just that one kiss, Felix’s cock is already straining against his trousers. His lips are swollen and stained with the taste of Gaius Baltar, a taste which Felix angrily realizes that he hasn’t lost the need for.
“I want you naked,” Felix orders as he stands over the bed, fully clothed. His voice sounds colder, more like his dreams now. “Completely.”
Gaius’ eyes widen, but to Felix’s surprise, he obeys without protest. Felix watches wordlessly as Gaius strews his clothes and presents his pale, naked body. His cock, thick and already wet at the tip, only becomes harder under Felix’s begrudging approval. From the perch of his crutches, Felix notes how much thinner Gaius’s nude body is than it was on New Caprica.
Felix’s hand grazes over his own crotch, pointing to his bulging erection. Gaius immediately reaches out and undoes the belt buckle, until Felix stops him with a grunt.
“Use your mouth,” he demands, curious to see how far this will go. Again, Gaius obeys, eyes fluttering as if under a spell. The sound of Felix’s zipper competes with the howling wind outside the tent. The feel of Gaius’ warm breath, even through his boxers, pulls a violent shudder out of Felix. He grabs his cock, one part offering, two parts command. A choked moan escapes Gaius’ lips as Felix fills him, grabbing his thick tresses for purchase.
Felix pumps savagely into Gaius’ mouth. He wants it to be him that takes Gaius, not the other way around. Still, Felix can’t help the weakness building in his thighs, and all too soon, he’s the one who’s gasping for breath, whimpering on the edge of coming, using all his arm strength just to keep the crutches straight. The sight of Gaius’ dark red, soft lips, stretched around his cock, servicing him, is more than Felix can bear.
He comes loudly, with a shiver that vibrates through his entire body, all his nerve endings tingling as he collapses weak-kneed onto the crutches, panting and wobbly.
Through lidded eyes, he watches Gaius wipe his mouth clean, unfold himself and walk straight up to him. Felix isn’t sure how he feels about this, if this feels safe enough, but then Gaius Baltar has never been about safe for Felix. He’s always been about this intoxicating, shivering feeling that makes Felix want to chase a dream across the universe.
True to form, Gaius is embracing him, tugging at the crutches underneath Felix, and at first, Felix panics at the idea Baltar will make him fall, like he always does. But Gaius is surprisingly strong for someone so thin, and Felix hears the crutches clatter in the dirt, feels himself levitated into Gaius’ arms, laid onto the bed. It actually feels tender.
But once he’s on his back, finally starting to breathe normally, he feels hands tugging at his pants, pulling them down his legs, boxers and all.
“No!” he cries. He doesn’t want Gaius to see his leg, severed at the knee. He doesn’t want his triumph washed away in one squirming, terrified moment.
“I miss you,” Gaius whispers again, dreamlike, and this time, Felix isn’t so sure it’s a lie. Before he knows it, he’s letting Gaius yank the clothes down over his ankles and onto the dirt floor.
His stump of a leg, severed at the knee, is there for Gaius to see. Felix holds his breath, guarded, waiting for Gaius to break, like he always does.
He feels Gaius’ fingers tracing soft, lazy circles on the exposed stump. Felix inspects his gaze carefully, but there is no hint of recoil, sadness, or condescension.
“We’ll have to make some adjustments, of course,” he says simply, matter-of-fact, and somehow, Felix knows he’s referring to the rest of their lives together.
Felix’s jacket and tanks come off easily after that, and then they are both lying on their sides, naked - Gaius still hard, eyes filled with lust, Felix sated and damp with sweat. Felix gently reaches for Gaius’ cock and is taken aback by how muscle memory takes over; it’s so familiar in his hand. His amazement sparks a laugh in back of his throat.
“Well, I’ve always thought it was pretty impressive, myself,” Gaius jokes softly, misunderstanding Felix's laughter. “I never heard you complain.”
Felix grimaces and starts pumping Gaius’ cock with sure, devoted strokes, rubbing underneath the tip with his thumb. Gaius goes weak with aching gasps that this time are no longer about fighting for breath, but about showing Felix every prismatic ray of his desire. Felix marks him with little nips of his teeth and rough, sucking kisses, trailing up and down Gaius’ neck.
“I…I…” Gaius’ tiny breaths reverberate in Felix’s head as Gaius flails into a frantic, high-pitched begging. “I won’t hurt you again,” he gasps into Felix’s neck. “I promise.”
A wave of nausea passes over Felix, so fast, it’s almost gone by the time he really feels it. “Let’s wait on that one, all right?” he admonishes over Gaius’ moans, which have fallen into metronomic rhythm with the pumping of Felix’s hand. “How about a promise we’re sure you can keep?”
Gaius bucks into Felix, eyes wide, limbs shivering, his entire body desperate for release. “Wh-what?”
Felix quickens the pace of his strokes. “How about this?” he proposes. “How about you come for me? Right now, right here?” He sees how the words, husky and wavering with emotion, only turn Gaius on more.
“Come for me, Gaius,” he repeats over and over. “Come for me. Come for me.” His voice is gaining strength and confidence with every repetition, until Gaius climaxes messily into Felix’s hand, his cries loud and rasping. He falls apart against Felix’s body, panting so hard, his every breath is a high-pitched squeak.
Curving one arm around Gaius, Felix uses the other to flick the dripping semen off his hand into the dirt. He wordlessly brings up his open palm and presses it to Gaius’ lips, watching Gaius lap up the excess until Felix’s hand is clean again. Gaius hunches down to nestle into Felix’s chest, the two of them lost in blissful exhaustion.
“Where do we go from here?” Gaius asks after a while, nestled into Felix’s chest. This time, Felix isn’t sure if he means them, or humanity.
“I don’t know,” he admits. For the first time in forever, Felix realizes he has yet to give up hope.
A sick, cosmic joke.
Felix figures the only joke sicker is the one where Felix’s leg was shot off in the chase for this stupid pipe dream of a planet. His agony, his sacrifice - for nothing.
Hobbling around the tent set up for him in Earth’s irradiated dirt, placing the framed photo of his parents atop a few storage boxes, Felix finds out that in fact, the cosmos has one last joke in mind for him, even sicker than the last:
Gaius Baltar is standing at the threshold to his tent, body slightly bowed, his voice quiet and tentative, asking if it’s okay to come in.
A sudden, heaving laughter consumes Felix. Baltar’s shocked reaction only makes Felix laugh harder, so hard that his crutches begin to slip out from under him. Felix is surprised - for a moment, ruefully touched - when the sight of Felix teetering sends Baltar flying over the threshold in a panic and into Felix’s arms. His strong, still whole, godsdamn him body pins Felix close as he struggles to help keep Felix upright.
Felix shakes him off like an insect. “Frak, Gaius! I can handle it!”
He realizes too late that he’s used his given name. In his vengeful dreams, Felix has always kept things formal between them; even in his dreams, he needs distance to tell the man off properly, to catalog his sins with the requisite amount of dispassion.
This is not at all how their reunion goes in his dreams.
It certainly doesn’t involve Gaius’ warm breath tickling his at his ear. It doesn’t involve him bending in to lean atop one of Felix crutches, whispering, “I miss you.”
“Liar,” Felix says through gritted teeth. He yanks Gaius’ head into a violent kiss that tears Gaius open and plucks a keening whine from the back of the his throat. Felix lets go only when he feels Gaius’ desperate gasps for breath. Using the arm strength he built in rehab, he flings Gaius off him and sends him stumbling backward onto the unused cot.
A cruel, self-satisfied smirk crosses Felix’s face at the panicky desire he recognizes in Gaius. But Gaius is already sloughing off his leather jacket, fumbling at his shirt buttons, keeping one amazed eye on Felix, who despite the crutches, is closing the distance between them with surprising speed.
Insofar as this moment has had any planning behind it at all, Felix meant it as a violation. But the Gods evidently have a sense of humor about these things. With just that one kiss, Felix’s cock is already straining against his trousers. His lips are swollen and stained with the taste of Gaius Baltar, a taste which Felix angrily realizes that he hasn’t lost the need for.
“I want you naked,” Felix orders as he stands over the bed, fully clothed. His voice sounds colder, more like his dreams now. “Completely.”
Gaius’ eyes widen, but to Felix’s surprise, he obeys without protest. Felix watches wordlessly as Gaius strews his clothes and presents his pale, naked body. His cock, thick and already wet at the tip, only becomes harder under Felix’s begrudging approval. From the perch of his crutches, Felix notes how much thinner Gaius’s nude body is than it was on New Caprica.
Felix’s hand grazes over his own crotch, pointing to his bulging erection. Gaius immediately reaches out and undoes the belt buckle, until Felix stops him with a grunt.
“Use your mouth,” he demands, curious to see how far this will go. Again, Gaius obeys, eyes fluttering as if under a spell. The sound of Felix’s zipper competes with the howling wind outside the tent. The feel of Gaius’ warm breath, even through his boxers, pulls a violent shudder out of Felix. He grabs his cock, one part offering, two parts command. A choked moan escapes Gaius’ lips as Felix fills him, grabbing his thick tresses for purchase.
Felix pumps savagely into Gaius’ mouth. He wants it to be him that takes Gaius, not the other way around. Still, Felix can’t help the weakness building in his thighs, and all too soon, he’s the one who’s gasping for breath, whimpering on the edge of coming, using all his arm strength just to keep the crutches straight. The sight of Gaius’ dark red, soft lips, stretched around his cock, servicing him, is more than Felix can bear.
He comes loudly, with a shiver that vibrates through his entire body, all his nerve endings tingling as he collapses weak-kneed onto the crutches, panting and wobbly.
Through lidded eyes, he watches Gaius wipe his mouth clean, unfold himself and walk straight up to him. Felix isn’t sure how he feels about this, if this feels safe enough, but then Gaius Baltar has never been about safe for Felix. He’s always been about this intoxicating, shivering feeling that makes Felix want to chase a dream across the universe.
True to form, Gaius is embracing him, tugging at the crutches underneath Felix, and at first, Felix panics at the idea Baltar will make him fall, like he always does. But Gaius is surprisingly strong for someone so thin, and Felix hears the crutches clatter in the dirt, feels himself levitated into Gaius’ arms, laid onto the bed. It actually feels tender.
But once he’s on his back, finally starting to breathe normally, he feels hands tugging at his pants, pulling them down his legs, boxers and all.
“No!” he cries. He doesn’t want Gaius to see his leg, severed at the knee. He doesn’t want his triumph washed away in one squirming, terrified moment.
“I miss you,” Gaius whispers again, dreamlike, and this time, Felix isn’t so sure it’s a lie. Before he knows it, he’s letting Gaius yank the clothes down over his ankles and onto the dirt floor.
His stump of a leg, severed at the knee, is there for Gaius to see. Felix holds his breath, guarded, waiting for Gaius to break, like he always does.
He feels Gaius’ fingers tracing soft, lazy circles on the exposed stump. Felix inspects his gaze carefully, but there is no hint of recoil, sadness, or condescension.
“We’ll have to make some adjustments, of course,” he says simply, matter-of-fact, and somehow, Felix knows he’s referring to the rest of their lives together.
Felix’s jacket and tanks come off easily after that, and then they are both lying on their sides, naked - Gaius still hard, eyes filled with lust, Felix sated and damp with sweat. Felix gently reaches for Gaius’ cock and is taken aback by how muscle memory takes over; it’s so familiar in his hand. His amazement sparks a laugh in back of his throat.
“Well, I’ve always thought it was pretty impressive, myself,” Gaius jokes softly, misunderstanding Felix's laughter. “I never heard you complain.”
Felix grimaces and starts pumping Gaius’ cock with sure, devoted strokes, rubbing underneath the tip with his thumb. Gaius goes weak with aching gasps that this time are no longer about fighting for breath, but about showing Felix every prismatic ray of his desire. Felix marks him with little nips of his teeth and rough, sucking kisses, trailing up and down Gaius’ neck.
“I…I…” Gaius’ tiny breaths reverberate in Felix’s head as Gaius flails into a frantic, high-pitched begging. “I won’t hurt you again,” he gasps into Felix’s neck. “I promise.”
A wave of nausea passes over Felix, so fast, it’s almost gone by the time he really feels it. “Let’s wait on that one, all right?” he admonishes over Gaius’ moans, which have fallen into metronomic rhythm with the pumping of Felix’s hand. “How about a promise we’re sure you can keep?”
Gaius bucks into Felix, eyes wide, limbs shivering, his entire body desperate for release. “Wh-what?”
Felix quickens the pace of his strokes. “How about this?” he proposes. “How about you come for me? Right now, right here?” He sees how the words, husky and wavering with emotion, only turn Gaius on more.
“Come for me, Gaius,” he repeats over and over. “Come for me. Come for me.” His voice is gaining strength and confidence with every repetition, until Gaius climaxes messily into Felix’s hand, his cries loud and rasping. He falls apart against Felix’s body, panting so hard, his every breath is a high-pitched squeak.
Curving one arm around Gaius, Felix uses the other to flick the dripping semen off his hand into the dirt. He wordlessly brings up his open palm and presses it to Gaius’ lips, watching Gaius lap up the excess until Felix’s hand is clean again. Gaius hunches down to nestle into Felix’s chest, the two of them lost in blissful exhaustion.
“Where do we go from here?” Gaius asks after a while, nestled into Felix’s chest. This time, Felix isn’t sure if he means them, or humanity.
“I don’t know,” he admits. For the first time in forever, Felix realizes he has yet to give up hope.