She Has a Plan(ner): The Crack!Blackberry Fic (Tory Foster)
A recent glimpse into Presidential Aide Tory Foster’s daily planner:
10 am: Attend “We’ve Got to Stop Meeting Like This” meeting.
Location: Weapons Locker, Causeway B.
Reminders: Briefly discuss “that frakking song”. Feel up Chief Tyrol. Distribute memo on how it might actually be awesome to be a Cylon.
New Business: Gaius Frakking Baltar. Frakking Gaius Baltar.
**********
11 am: Attend presidential press conference.
Location: Colonial One
Reminders: Run comb through hair. Dismiss questions about the Demetrius. During dull moments, ponder potential Cylon awesomeness. Consider feeling up Playa Palacios. Pretend she’s Roslin.
**********
12 pm: Lunch.
Location: Dogsville cafeteria (Algae burgers!)
Reminders: Feel up Baltar. Discuss One True God ™ Use downtime during his conversations with thin air to reflect upon one’s own Cylon awesomeness.
**********
1 pm: Write presidential press release: “How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Executive Order 112.”
Location: Colonial One.
Reminders: Casually ask Roslin for advice on wording of press release and on general principles of airlock operation.
**********
2 pm: Attend emergency “We Call Attention to Ourselves and We’re Frakked” meeting.
Location: Weapons Locker, Causeway B.
Reminders: Discuss current location of Hera Agathon and whether or not we as Cylons should care. Feel up Tigh. Make sultry eyes at Tyrol.
**********
3 pm: Naked Tai Chi.
Location: TBD.
Reminders: Use newfound Cylon powers to project sexy Roslin scenarios
**********
4 pm: Airlock practice.
Location: Launch Tube B.
Reminders: Bring sack of flour labeled “Nicky Tyrol”. Practice one-handed airlocking. Work on the “trust me” voice.
**********
6 pm: Racquetball
Location: Galactica gym
Reminders: Practice backhand swing.
**********
8 pm: “Me” Time.
Location: Check to see if Launch Tube B is empty.
Reminders: If Launch Tube B is busy, proceed to Aft Damage Control (Centurion kegger!)
**********
9 pm: Frak Gaius Baltar.
Location: Deck 8, Section 14 (Headquarters for the One True God™)
Reminders: Ignore random discussions with thin air. Cry intermittently. Pretend to be frakking Roslin.
**********
9:06 pm: Attend “What to do if Cally Finds Out?” meeting.
Location: Weapons Locker, Causeway B.
Reminders: Remain unapologetic about lateness. Insist on Cylon awesomeness.
**********
9:45 pm: Follow Cally Tyrol (Airlocking!)
Location: Causeway B, then Launch Tube A
Reminders: Use the “trust me” voice. Think of Roslin.
**********
End of Day Reflections:
*Not sure which I like better - being a Cylon or airlocking.
*Blood-spattered Baltar is surprisingly hot, but if he steals any more of my ideas for his cult, I am so getting Romo Lampkin to sue his ass.
*Centurions turn slutty after about four mango margaritas.
*The “trust me” voice worked well. Need to try it out on Roslin.
*I AM SO VERY PERFECT!
10 am: Attend “We’ve Got to Stop Meeting Like This” meeting.
Location: Weapons Locker, Causeway B.
Reminders: Briefly discuss “that frakking song”. Feel up Chief Tyrol. Distribute memo on how it might actually be awesome to be a Cylon.
New Business: Gaius Frakking Baltar. Frakking Gaius Baltar.
**********
11 am: Attend presidential press conference.
Location: Colonial One
Reminders: Run comb through hair. Dismiss questions about the Demetrius. During dull moments, ponder potential Cylon awesomeness. Consider feeling up Playa Palacios. Pretend she’s Roslin.
**********
12 pm: Lunch.
Location: Dogsville cafeteria (Algae burgers!)
Reminders: Feel up Baltar. Discuss One True God ™ Use downtime during his conversations with thin air to reflect upon one’s own Cylon awesomeness.
**********
1 pm: Write presidential press release: “How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Executive Order 112.”
Location: Colonial One.
Reminders: Casually ask Roslin for advice on wording of press release and on general principles of airlock operation.
**********
2 pm: Attend emergency “We Call Attention to Ourselves and We’re Frakked” meeting.
Location: Weapons Locker, Causeway B.
Reminders: Discuss current location of Hera Agathon and whether or not we as Cylons should care. Feel up Tigh. Make sultry eyes at Tyrol.
**********
3 pm: Naked Tai Chi.
Location: TBD.
Reminders: Use newfound Cylon powers to project sexy Roslin scenarios
**********
4 pm: Airlock practice.
Location: Launch Tube B.
Reminders: Bring sack of flour labeled “Nicky Tyrol”. Practice one-handed airlocking. Work on the “trust me” voice.
**********
6 pm: Racquetball
Location: Galactica gym
Reminders: Practice backhand swing.
**********
8 pm: “Me” Time.
Location: Check to see if Launch Tube B is empty.
Reminders: If Launch Tube B is busy, proceed to Aft Damage Control (Centurion kegger!)
**********
9 pm: Frak Gaius Baltar.
Location: Deck 8, Section 14 (Headquarters for the One True God™)
Reminders: Ignore random discussions with thin air. Cry intermittently. Pretend to be frakking Roslin.
**********
9:06 pm: Attend “What to do if Cally Finds Out?” meeting.
Location: Weapons Locker, Causeway B.
Reminders: Remain unapologetic about lateness. Insist on Cylon awesomeness.
**********
9:45 pm: Follow Cally Tyrol (Airlocking!)
Location: Causeway B, then Launch Tube A
Reminders: Use the “trust me” voice. Think of Roslin.
**********
End of Day Reflections:
*Not sure which I like better - being a Cylon or airlocking.
*Blood-spattered Baltar is surprisingly hot, but if he steals any more of my ideas for his cult, I am so getting Romo Lampkin to sue his ass.
*Centurions turn slutty after about four mango margaritas.
*The “trust me” voice worked well. Need to try it out on Roslin.
*I AM SO VERY PERFECT!