perfectionist

[miki]

i have always struggled with being a perfectionist. i'm the kind of person that doesn't like to be 'good enough'. when i do something, it has to be perfect or i would rather not do it at all. often times, i end up second-guessing myself so much that i'm frozen in indecision limbo

Comments

[kathleenlee]

hrrmmm.
what's going on?

[benlbr]

you rely on faith instead of logic. you can only be so cautious.

btw...what is ur definition of "not a lot of time"?

something we don't know? :)

[miki]

LOL, no.

isn't 1+ year the standard time frame for this kind of stuff?

[benlbr]

we have 18 mo's to plan cuz we wanted a fall outdoor wedding (the weather's more predictable in the fall than spring - on the east coast at least). I guess most people that we've met have about a 12-18 month planning time frame.

We itemized everything during our first month of engagement, made a gueset list and got a venue booked. The other stuff is rather minor and can be accomlished in probably a few months (12 month's probably doesn't make as much difference compared to 18 months at that point)...from what we're experiencing.

But then again, you're far more detail oriented than I am, so you might be approaching it differently than me. But that's what I pay the good money for, so it can be someone else's headache, not mine.

But last but not least, usually girls are naturally more stressed out than guys are. I'm not sure if I've ever heard of the term "groom-zilla".

But yeah, itemizing everything helps, making a checklist seems to put everything in order and in smaller manageable projects. It might work for you guys too.

Confidence

[doorknobdude]

Actually, I wouldn't call you a perfectionist. It seems that you're more insecure with your work/decision. If you were secure, you wouldn't second guess it.

If you were a perfectionist, you would scrutinize over every detail to make it right because you know what it needs to be "perfect."

So in your case, how do you fix it?

Be confident in what you're doing [whatever it is]. You're a smart girl, you'll be fine ;)

Well that and chicks are fickle. So make up your damn mind.

Re: Confidence

[miki]

there's a fine line between what you just described. i should have used a better term than "second guess". i disagree with your assessment. i'm not insecure w/ my work/decision. i'm OCD, extremely OCD. i'm stuck in limbo b/c i feel like i have to double-check everything x1000. you can be confident but if you're OC and always looking for more ways to criticize (striving for perfection), then that's the downside.

p.s. not all chicks are fickle. some of us just like to over analyze.

[doorknobdude]

Ok. :)

[miki]

OK back :)

[clearbright]

i can totally identify with your post, so i don't really have any words of wisdom, lol. good luck!!

[brownraccoon]

Completely relevant entry that touches on the very soul of the cautious individual.

While I'd normally harp on the "trust-in-thyself" fuzzy, warm positive thinking--doorknob boy beat me to the punch. So I will address aftermath.

-->Be aware of the one of the most basic realities of life: shit happens.

All the planning, researching, and (re)thinking can't ensure perfection. You don't plan to eat salmonella-infected chicken, you can't research yourself out of having explosive diarrhea, and all the (re)thinking in the world isn't going to keep you hydrated.

Have a good coping strategy. Suck it up and march on.

Don't go bridezilla on me. Did you hear about the NYC bride that is suing a florist over the wrong color flower?