[Fic] Kimi no suki na koto (All of You That I Love)
Title: Kimi no suki na koto (All of You That I Love)
Author: mikhaella23
Beta: BrighterLove
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/s: Akame
Genre: Angst, Romance (perhaps), Fluff
Disclaimer: nope...don't own them... XC
Summary: Jin can’t confess and he talks about the things he likes about Kame (I suck! What’s the use of summaries if you suck at writing them anyway?)
Warnings: Shounen-ai. My muse just came back…it’s not good…but I guess its okay…It’s my first time writing in a first person POV. KIND JOHNNY-SAN!
A/N: this is a song that my friend sent me…the original pairing in the video was Kiku x Arthur…I’m in a new fandom right now and they’re my OTP there…I got inspired by them….XD The title is Kimi no Suki na Koto by Ken Hirai...Happy Birthday Kame-chan!!! Jin’s POV
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No one, except me and Johnny-san, knew the reason behind my hiatus. I didn’t tell anyone, especially my best friend, Kamenashi Kazuya. I told them that I was just going there to study but the truth is… I wanted to get rid of unwanted feelings.
***Flashback***
I told Johnny-san about this and the old man said…
“It’s okay. No one can choose who they love, it just happens.”
I didn’t say anything. I felt lost...vulnerable. I was surprised when he said…
“Why don’t you go away for a while? Go pursue your dreams. You want to study English right? Then I’ll send you to America. That way, you can think about things, clear your mind.”
At that time, there were a lot of possibilities running through my mind but one thing is disturbing me…
“What about KAT-TUN?” I asked.
“It won’t be easy but I think they will make it through. Besides, if you’re mind is always on Kamenashi it’s still no good. Leaving is a better option.”
I felt somehow relieved but still confused…Johnny-san…kind? He’s supposed to be a cruel and cold-hearted business man but the Johnny-san I am seeing now…is kind of like a father?
“Why are you doing this?” I was so confused. This man is not the man I see on T.V.
“I know what you’re thinking. I’m not always the cold-hearted Johnny that you see on T.V. I’m not only your boss…I’m also your second father. I care for you boys. When you entered the Jimusho I promised your parents your safety, I’m a man of my word. This is also good for the business. With you leaving, rumors will surely appear, meaning publicity. Bad publicity is still publicity. Fans will surely anticipate the return of the A of KAT-TUN, meaning more sales…”
I just stared blankly at him. Man! This guy is smart! And he can be a father and a business man at the same time! I agreed to his proposal. He said I shouldn’t worry about the announcement, my manager would help me. With that said, I left his office….anxious and doubtful…Will leaving help me forget about my feelings for Kazuya if those feelings are too strong that I can’t hide them anymore.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The announcement created a really suffocating atmosphere. They all blamed me…saying that I’m too selfish and I don’t care about the outcomes of my action but I didn’t care. I looked at him and he had an unreadable expression on his face. There was a mix of emotions in his eyes too, sadness, worry and I think I saw something that I saw on broken-hearted people… wait? Broken-hearted? I must be dreaming. After that, I decided to talk to him.
I saw him on the rooftop, he was quiet. I approached him and tapped his shoulder.
“Kazu?”
“Jin! You startled me…” he gave me a soft smile.
“Are you mad?” I returned his smile but I think mine is kind of crooked ‘cause I really felt like my heart would leap out of my cage at any moment.
“About what?”
“I’m leaving. I’ll leave KAT-TUN and everybody says I’m being selfish but I really need this.” I felt like crying but I fought my back my tears. Just the thought of Kazuya getting angry killed me.
“No. I know how much you wanted this…but Jin?” I saw his eyes flicker from sadness and anxiety to hope and faith.
“Y-yes?”
“Promise me you’re gonna return. Promise me you’re not gonna leave us…” looking at those eyes, I just couldn’t refuse. Damn! Love is hard!
“I promise.” He held out his pinky and I enlaced mine with his, sealing our promise.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A few days after that I’ was at the airport ready to leave Japan. There were a lot of issues and rumors to fix before leaving but Johnny-san took care of it all. I asked Kame not to come. I was too afraid that If I saw him, I might not be able to leave him. So, I said goodbye to everyone andgot on the plane to L.A.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
After six months, I came back. My stay in L.A made me realize that I can’t get rid of these feelings. The more I thought of the distance between Japan and L.A, the more I think about Kame. I miss him. I think leaving only made things worst.
So there I was at the airport and as I was walking I saw a very familiar face, the face I was trying so hard to forget, waiting outside. I couldn’t understand myself. He was the reason for my hiatus. I was trying to forget him but here I was all giddy from just seeing him. Then soon enough I saw the members of NEWS and the rest of KAT-TUN’s members arrive.
I was greeted by warm smiles and compliments (if you can call it that). I greeted them all and hugged them one by one. Then, his turn came; I think he had the warmest smiles of them all. I hugged him tightly.
“I’m back, Kazu.”
“Tadaima Jin. Hisashiburi.”
***End of Flashback***
Every dance practice we have, I always find myself losing focus on the dance routines. I’m always scolded by the choreographer and when Kame talks to me about it, I just can’t look directly at his face. I’m always acting like a high school girl in front of him. Whenever I look at him, I stutter and I can feel that my face burning so I avoid him. Everyone, including him, thought I was mad at Kazuya.
Sometimes, I wish I could just stop loving him. Stop my stupid heart from longing for someone I could never have. Every time I see him talking to a girl or a guy, I feel something burning in my chest, I guess it’s what they call jealousy, but later, it will be replaced by sorrow ‘cause I know I don’t have the right to be.
I tried confessing so many times but I always chicken out. I can’t afford to lose him. He’s the most important person in the whole world to me. The only thing I can do for now is watch him shine from afar…
There he is again, giving fake smiles to the audience. I actually miss those genuine smiles he gives to me, his pouts when I tease him too much, those long lashes, deeps brown eyes and that shy attitude of his…there are a lot of thing I love about him. When they ask me to take a star each time I mention the things I like about him…I’ll probably run-out.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I spend a lot of time in Johnny-san’s office. I was always being scolded. It’s either about my indifference towards the guest, my tardiness, my partying habits, or the lack of concentration on work. Fortunately for me…Johnny-san knows that the reason behind this is hard to avoid…especially since said reason is in the same band as me. He tried everything though. He separated us…again he found a good explanation for this…fans will be more intrigued as to why ‘Akame’ seems to be drifting apart, they’ll tune in to our activities and try to find the tiniest details that show that we’re still close and they’ll surely be thrilled when the ‘Akame’ reunion would be. Again, I was amazed. This is the reason why Johnny Kitagawa is one wealthy old man.
He also said that Kazuya should serve as an inspiration and I should show my good points to him to impress him.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It’s been 3 years since I returned to Japan and I was working hard to redeem myself but damn newspapers! They always report terrible things about me and to make it worse…it’s always on the fucking front page!
Kazuya always sees me holding a newspaper and throwing death glares to it. Later that day I will receive text messages from him saying…”I know I’m not the person you want to say this to you but don’t mind them” “I know you and I see you working really hard.” “Just show them that you are hard working. Fans will still support you.” “We’re all here if you need help.” And I somehow feel better afterwards but still sad cause the only thing I can say is “thanks.”
To keep me busy, Johnny-san gave me a movie ‘Bandage’. Of course with a movie, I spend slot of time away from the group with all the shooting and stuff.
The moment the news spread around the Jimusho, Kazuya was the first one who texted me. “Omedetto! Maa! Do your best! Good luck on your first movie!” He really just has to be this caring?! Darn it! How the hell could I forget about you when you’re like that but I said my thanks anyway and good luck on his first movie too. Then, he sent his thanks and we texted each other for hours. Just like that, we’re friends again. I really have to learn how to resist him.
~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~**~*~
Slowly, things started to go back to the way it used to. I call him Kazuya, Kazu-chan or Kame now instead of Kamenashi and vice versa.
We started hanging out from then but we need to be discrete as instructed by Johnny-san. We sleep over at each others’ house again. Have play dates for Pin and Ran-chan at the park near our apartment since we live just 10 minutes away from each other. We eat lunch together too. The other members are shocked at first but they let it go, especially Ueda since I think he knows something that I don’t or I might be hallucinating. I chose to believe the latter.
We often drag him to the club with us even though he hates it there but once we’re there he lets it go but he prefers staying in one corner drinking than dancing and often times, I join him there.
He gets drunk easily and I have to pick him up and take him home. It surprised me that I’m still the one he or his friends call when he needs a ride home. When I get there, I always find him slumped on the table or the chair. He would be whiny and he will complain about not wanting to go home. He puts up quite a fight when you try to get him in the car and I have bruises to prove that. I always call him in the morning to ask if he’s okay and that raspy voice just makes my heart pound faster and faster by the second.
There are also times when he comes over and the food is not yet delivered, he gives off this dark aura. He falls silent but when the food arrives, he will turn into a bundle of sunshine in just a flash and it keeps me wondering whether I influenced him so much.
He always cries when we watch sad movies. He seems tough on the outside because he tends to give the first impression of being arrogant and he can be sarcastic at times but he is surprisingly a cry-baby and sympathetic person.
I really don’t get me. There are a lot of thing I love about him and I know it more than all the people in the world but I can’t say it…
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I'm so happy that I, more than anyone else in the world
Know the things that I like about you
Hey look, you're smiling now…
Why is it that I can't form the words?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Owari
A/N: Phew! Finally it’s done! So…this is supposed to be fluff but…I can’t do it…it’s just that the lyrics and pure fluff doesn’t quite match. There is a sequel to it though…or more like the Kame version of this…I hope you like it…even though I think it’s quite inconsistent regarding the timeline and all those things…I’m really sorry…for those who are reading ‘What Dreams May Come’ (if there are any)…It might take me a while before I can post a new chapter because it’s beginning to be a complicated fic to write…chapter five is the last chapter I’m gonna be posting for now…I’m really sorry…I’ll try to post more one-shots and drabbles to somehow make it up for What Dreams May Come…comments are very much appreciated…so please be kind enough to leave one…I have a flag counter…I know how many LJ’ers are viewing my page…a comment wouldn’t be such a big thing to ask…just a simple “<3” or “thanks for sharing this…” would be nice…okay I said waaaaaaayyyy to much things here….okay…thanks guys…
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