Instant Death

[mike_smith]

Jim was telling me about this thing where all these Snape fangirls started seeing Snape in their dreams or something, and started forming some sort of cult about it. Or something. I'm sure he tells it better than I do. The whole thing's on fandom_wank, which I don't read a whole lot because everyone talks like the Smurfs over there, and I have

Comments

[meteora_smt]

I would recommend none of the books actually as first book is too simplistic, second book while the whole interaction and fight between harry and voldemort in the book was cool including the whole harry speaking to snakes thing was cool the rest of the book sucked, prizoner of azkhaban no strong villain and too reflective for me, goblet of fire the whole moody relevation thing to harry in the end was a stupid relevation but I liked the duel between harry and voldemort, fifth book while it has the best villains ever in hp (umbridge) and you realllly hate her more than voldemort, the book was too draggy especially the part in sirius's house and the grawp part and harry acts like an idiot many times. Half-blood prince read more like a fanfiction to me.

Strangely I still find the whole hp series appealing.

Anyways, out of interest, which book did you dislike more HBP or Prizoner??

[lisatrix]

I don't think Umbridge was a 'good' villain just because she provoked such a visceral reaction. She was totally loathsome in every way, but that's really not that hard to do. She had no real motivation or backstory or personality, she was just bitch incarnate. Honestly, I was more pissed at Rowling for being so manipulative. It's a lot like the kid-no-one-believes device Mike was talking about- the story is actually frustrating to read.

And yet... I also find the whole series appealing. What's wrong with me?

[meteora_smt]

Ok I agree with that, Umbridge is not a complex villain or such but I think she's a very strong villain compared to the non-villains in POA which I quite liked cause it definately showed the dark nature of OOTP, because I don't think I ever hated Voldemort in such a way as I hated Umbridge, as she knows her stuff, she knows how to torture harry and the whole trio and she really made harry and the trio suffer badly.

[mindset]

Thank you, Mike. I know this review was painful for you, but I enjoyed it nevertheless. I do believe that the attraction of HP fans to your reviews, as well as to the series itself, proves they're all masochists deep down, but anyway. ;)

Anyhow, if you do do another book, I'd suggest Chamber of Secrets. It's shorter than any other book save the first, and IIRC Harry actually *does stuff* in it. Also, it appears to be one of the most disliked in the fandom, which means you'd probably find more chapters thumbs-up. :) (I think the most hated is OOTP, but it's way too fucking long, and the reasons it's hated are lame. I'm not sure why people hate CoS, but I don't really care.) On the other hand, there's several remarkably irritating characters in it, and I forget how much school-year padding it has. But that'd be entertaining to read in a review too.

Oh, I never got around to metaquoting some of the lines in earlier chapter reviews that had me LOLing. Fine with you if I make some kind of compendium of faves sometime?

[mike_smith]

Thank you, Mike. I know this review was painful for you, but I enjoyed it nevertheless.

(Raises arm, Mick Foley style)

Anyhow, if you do do another book, I'd suggest Chamber of Secrets.

I'm kind of leaning that way, for a lot of the same reasons. I know Phoenix is universally considered the Everest of Suck, but if it just sucks like this book did, only longer, then I'm not seeing the point.

Chamber, on the other hand, has almost no buzz whatsoever, which intrigues me. All I really know about it is that Harry fights a giant snake in it, and he uses a sword, which implies he actually has to physically overcome an adversary. The novelty of this would be worth the price of the book alone. Irritating characters are a given, since Harry's name is in the title no matter what, and I honestly can get behind the school baggage when Rowling isn't just going through the motions to justify the setting.

Oh, I never got around to metaquoting some of the lines in earlier chapter reviews that had me LOLing. Fine with you if I make some

[meteora_smt]

In chamber actually, harry destroys one of the horcruxes so yeah there is some action in it.

[mike_smith]

If you're talking about Riddle's diary, then no, I don't define "Harry fights a book" as "action". I'm starting to realize that Rowling's success has a lot to do with the fact that so many readers out there have such low standards for action. The NEA should make some public service announcements about that.

[elanor_x]

Chamber of Secrets is my favorite book too. Would love to read your reviews of it. I hate OOtP since nothing happens there in comparison with any other HP book.

[remix17]

Hope you do CoS next, Mike. I personally am nowhere near the HP fan I used to be (and I have you to thank for delivering the final blow) but CoS seems to retain a sort of fuzzy rose-colored image in my mind. And Harry actually...gasp...was smart! At least, a little bit. I haven't read it in years, so don't quote me on that. But it's definitely got a good story. I'd have to re-read it again to see if it has good execution, but I'd rather you do that instead. :P

[saraswathi_rani]

I vote for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

... What? If Mike's going to waste time reviewing children's books with fucked up moral values, at least he could read ones that are actually well-written. And blessedly short.