[Fanfic] A Beautiful Mess (Chapter Twenty Eight - Final Chapter)
So it finally ended today. *Phew* Thank you to everyone who continued reading this fic from start to finish. I wouldn't be able to finish this if it wasn't for the encouraging comments you guys posted on every updates. Thank you all so much. Mwah! ♥
As always, this is unbeta-ed so don't hesitate to call my attention if you spotted any errors or mistakes. Comments, suggestions, reactions and criticisms are gladly welcomed. Happy reading! :D
CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT
Matsumoto Jun walks through the long stretch corridor as obliviously as he can be but with a face like that, people with surely figure out who he is even with the dropped down fedora hat and sunglasses. It was almost three in the morning and his drama filming just ended after starting at seven this morning. He is tired and all he wanted now is a good sleep but he just can’t ignore the fact that someone he loves so much is in the hospital and that is because of him.
She probably doesn’t want to see him after what happened last night. She didn’t even call him for help when she knows that he just left her house a few minutes before she had that allergy attack. He is probably the least person she wanted to see right now but for him, he badly wanted to see her.
He doesn’t know what made her so scared when she’s just so assertive back when they were at the beach and their drive to his parent’s house. He thinks that maybe introducing her to his family is a bit too early and she’s not prepared for it. But his family welcomed her with open arms and he doesn’t see any reason for her to be scared at them.
He thinks that he understands her but at the same time he doesn’t. Yes, he knows how much scared Yana is with falling in love but he thought he did enough to make her overcome that fear by showing her how much she means to him. Is it not enough? Does he need to exert more effort? Is it him? He wonders.
He finally reached the room at the far end of the corridor and softly knocks twice. Yana might already be asleep and so is Eri since they doesn’t know that a visitor is coming at this time of the day. When no one answers, he quietly opened the door, careful not to wake anyone who’s asleep.
“Matsumoto-san.” Eri said in a hissed, Yana is sleeping soundly on the bed.
Jun removes his hat and sunglasses. “I’m sorry I came without notice. How is she?” he glanced at Yana sleeping at one side of the bed with her hand slipping under the pillow.
“She’s okay now. The swelling got better and the red spots all over her body are lightening. Blood test is fine too. If the rashes subside completely by tomorrow, she’ll be able to go home.”
Jun nods his head and sat on the empty space on the bed as he gently ran his hand on her hair. “She told me she’s allergic after she ate tons of shellfish… This brat.” He laughed softly, his hand is now fondling her face.
“She can be really mischievous and sometimes, she’s like a five-year-old kid.” Eri joins in the fun of mocking Yana. “You should have seen her earlier, her face is all puffed-up, she looks really funny.” She giggled.
“Izumi Yana can be ugly too, huh?” Jun chuckled and if Yana is awake, most definitely, he’ll receive some physically retaliation from her.
“Are you not mad anymore?” Eri suddenly turned serious and shifted the topic. “She told me you were so furious last night.”
“I’m still mad.” Jun firmly replied while creasing his eyebrows. He moves his gaze at Yana again, fondly running his hand on her hair. He suddenly breaks into a smile. “But I love her and it overcomes the anger inside me… And I think whatever triggered her decision is partly because of me.”
“Yana can be really dense sometimes…” Eri told him. “And she can be really scared too.”
Jun never left his eyes from Yana and his touch never left her skin. “I thought she’s over it… the being scared part. I thought that her love for me overpowered that fear.” His voice is sad and that is the first time Eri heard that tone from him.
“It’s not that easy to erase the fear she had all her life. She may have the strength one day and the next day the fear may come back, it’s not an easy process. And knowing Yana, she doesn’t have any confidence in herself when it comes to love.” Eri said, hoping that she can make Jun understand.
Jun purse his lips. “Until when do I have to wait? Sometimes I feel like this is not going anywhere.” His voice creaks and before he knew it, he is crying. “I love her so much but it feels like it is not enough. I tried doing everything for her but it feels like all my efforts backfired.” He bit his lower lip, as if an unpleasant thought cross his mind. “If she’s giving up like this… maybe it’s time for me to give up too.” His hand finally left her hair as both hands tried to stop the tears falling from his eyes.
Eri is looking at him with sharp, furious eyes and it somehow scares him. She suddenly stood up and pulled him out of the room without hesitation.
“BAKA!” She yelled at him and he was speechless. “If you’re going give up like that then you’re no different from her father and that Park Yoochun!” She continued yelling and she doesn’t care if the people passing the corridor heard her utter a celebrity’s name. “If you really love you’ll wait for when she’s ready.” She changed her voice in a calmer yet pleading voice. “If you really love her, you’ll understand.”
“She’s shutting me off her life, Eri!” Jun tried to contain his voice from rising.
“Because she’s stupid!” Eri yelled without remorse. “She doesn’t want you out of her life, she wants you in her life but she’s stupid and dense and impulsive!” She sighed heavily as turns around from Jun.
There was a brief silence before Eri spoke again. “Please don’t give up on her, Matsumoto-san. You’re all she has for that one shot of happiness she’s been yearning for so long.”
Jun looked down on the floor, both his hands inserted on his jeans pocket.
Eri waited for him to speak up but all she got was a single nod before he turns around and walks away.
---
The five members of Arashi are doing their final rehearsal at Kokoritsu Stadium before their tour kicks off tomorrow. The scorching heat of the sun is making it hard for them to move even an inch from where they are standing and the trucker hats and the hoodie towels doesn’t help.
“Ahhhh! I can’t take it! It’s so hot!!!” Aiba grunted as he takes off his shirt and joins the rest of his members to seat on the ground.
They face the enormous stage and futuristic looking set as they gather their strength back in this quick break.
It’s been almost a month since Yana’s birthday and that means Jun hasn’t seen here for almost a month as well. He’s focusing twice as hard on his drama and concert preparations to get his mind off her. He’s even more perfectionist than he used to and it worries the other members and the staff. Lately, he’s getting quick-tempered and demanding. There are times when he would raise his voice to a staff member if they didn’t get his request straight away and the other members would often come to the rescue to get the furious Jun out of the scene.
Jun told the members that Yana and him are taking a break and never divulge any further details about it. Nino, being the curious brat that he is, investigated on this matter and he got information straight from Eri and quickly shares to the others.
Nino considered talking to Jun about it but every time he sees him he’s got this scary look on his face and he would be instantly frightened. On one occasion, he even tried asking Sho to talk to Jun but he said to give it time and Sho, being the most dependable person on this matter, might be right.
Nobody knows what Jun has in mind with regards to matters involving Yana. He almost never mentions her name these days even though a big reason for his recent attitude is about her. The member fear that keeping everything to himself is more terrifying because once he explodes, all hell breaks loose and Nino dreads that maybe that day is about come.
“What are you doing tonight?” Nino asked as soon as he’s got Jun all by himself in their green room.
“Resting?” Jun replied sarcastically. “We’re having a concert tomorrow, in case you forget.”
“Let’s grab a drink before you go home. One bottle is enough.” Nino pats Jun’s shoulders.
Jun looks at him with these prying eyes. “Are you trying to get me to talk about her?” It was that easy for him to figure out what Nino had in mind.
Nino shudders with the her part. Is it that hard for Jun to mention her name?
“Well, I think you need someone to talk to. You, keeping it to yourself will not do any good. You’re just going to continue affecting everyone negatively with your offensive attitude.” Nino bravely gets straight to point. They wouldn’t need to grab a drink after all. They can all settle it here.
Jun suddenly got think guilt look on his face like Nino hit it straight to his heart. “I’m sorry. Sometimes, I just can’t control it.”
“Control what?” Nino sat on an empty chair comfortably.
“My emotions.” Jun answered, sitting opposite Nino. “Sometimes, I just miss her so much that it’s getting in nerves that I can’t do anything about. And what’s worse is that I miss her every day and I have to control my emotions every day and it’ll just backfire and I’ll suddenly go nuts on you guys and staff.”
Nino never thought it would be this easy to get Jun to talk. Maybe he just needed someone to strike a conversation and he’ll give in. And Nino regrets not doing it earlier.
“If you miss her then why don’t you go see her?”
Jun sighed. “If she wanted to see me and talk to me, she’ll do it.” He utter in a lower voice. “She wanted time and space and I’m giving it to her. I don’t want to give in first this time because I’m always the one initiating before.”
“Are you getting her to chase you?”
“I’m not trying to get her to chase me.” Jun clears it once and for all. “Although it may appear that way but what I just wanted is for her to realize things all by herself, without me tailing at her every minute of every day.”
“So you’re saying that it’s all up to her now?” Nino confirms and Jun nodded uncertainly. “But Yana is the most dense person I know! That brat needs a little push every time, she doesn’t have the ability to realize those kind of things by herself.”
“Well, she needs to use her brain and her heart a little better this time.”
“But it’s almost a month.” Nino reminded him.
“I know. Believe me, I know. It’s exactly twenty six days.” Jun laughed.
“You’re actually enduring it all these time?” Nino asked in disbelief.
“I once thought of giving up and Eri lectured me on how I’m no different from the men in her life and then I learned how stupid of me to actually think of giving up on her when my heart and mind only screams her name every day and every night… All I wanted for her is to be happy and contented. If I needed to stay away from her life temporarily then so be it, as long as she realize what she really wanted in the end.”
“And you’re that confident that she wanted you in the end?” Nino pointed out.
Jun smiled widely. “Of course.” He beams proudly.
---
For the past twenty six days, Yana’s life has been a routine. Wake up at nine in the morning, take a walk, get a coffee and bread on the way back home, eat, shower, go to the studio and spend the entire day writing and recording songs and then go home just before midnight and go to sleep, all these things done with Matsumoto Jun carelessly slipping in her mind every minute.
He is the first person on her mind when she wakes up, she listens to him singing, even with his annoyingly, scratchy singing voice while strolling around the neighborhood, she thinks of him whenever she eats breakfast because she misses sharing breakfast with him and she most definitely misses his cooking. All her songs are about him and whenever she sings them, she remembers the memories she had with him while writing those songs. He is the last person on her mind before she falls asleep at night.
And she still wonders what’s keeping her from running back into his arms.
As Yana arrives at home just a little past midnight, she picks up her phone from her bag and switched it back on. Her phone is pretty much unnecessary for her these days as Eri is the only one calling and texting her and they are together all the time.
She went into the bathroom to prepare the tub, she’s extra tired today, with her album releasing in a few days, all she needed right now is a quick soak in warm water.
She heard her phone ringing from her bed and she quickly tends to it thinking that it was Eri but she is mistaken.
“Mom…” Yana answered. She wondered what it might be. Is she here in Tokyo again?
“Yana! Finally, I’ve been calling you since an hour ago.” She heard her mother from the other line.
“I’m working in the studio… Why did you call?” She wanted to know what this phone call is all about.
“Just checking out on you.”
Yana chucked as she strips off her clothes with one hand and getting inside the tub. “That’s very unusual of you, Mom. Why did you call? Please get to the point right away.” She laughs. There’s no such thing as checking out on her. This is the first time she heard that.
“Okay, since you wanted it straight to the point…” Her mother paused for a moment. “Eri told me about Matsumoto Jun-san.”
Yana winces, of course, Eri has been reporting all these time. “I’m not shocked.”
“Don’t get mad at her, she just want to help… How stubborn can you be, Yana?” It appears to her that the last sentence is more insulting when it comes out from her mother’s mouth. “Eri said that maybe I can be of help to you since you’re not listening to her anymore…”
Eri’s been bugging her for days to come and talk to Jun and lately she’s just ignoring her whenever the topic shifts to him.
“I will talk to him when I’m fully ready, Mom.”
“You’re not yet fully ready until now?” Her mother’s voice is getting more sarcastic as they delve into the topic.
Yana clicks her tongue. “I’ll come around, Mom.”
“What are you waiting for, Yana? When it’s too late? When he doesn’t feel the same as you do anymore?”
She has thought of that and that frightens her too. But she knows Jun, he can’t possibly do it that easily.
“I know you’re scared, Yana. I can’t blame you but taking a risk a sign that you’re, at least, trying to live your life without regrets... Love, Yana. That’s the point. Let yourself experience love.”
“I get it, Mom…” Yana utters softly, her thought are drifting far away.
It is not so often that her mother gives her a life lesson and when she actually does, it hits her right in the spot.
---
“Wake up, sleepy head!” Yana heard a familiar voice echoing through her room and a palm is softly slapping her cheeks continuously.
“Shut up, Akanishi!” She yelled at him, without opening her eyes.
“Wake up, Yanana! Look at the sunshine outside!” Jin suddenly pulled the curtains wide open and she covered her face with the sheets. “It’s a beautiful day!”
She wonders what made Jin this hyper early in the morning.
“Hey! Wake up!” He suddenly ticked her on the side of her waist and she jumps in fright.
“What the hell is wrong with you!!” She screamed at the top her lungs as she rubs her waist.
Jin is unaffected and laughing. “Let’s go out and eat lunch.”
“What lunch?” She quickly looks at the clock and it says that it’s already fifteen minutes past twelve in the afternoon. “Whaaat? It’s past twelve already?”
She lost track of the time last night and she didn’t know how long she stayed in the tub after talking to her mother. She didn’t even know what time did she went to bed.
“Eri-chan said that it’s your day-off and it’s mine too so I figured that we should do some catching up. I haven’t seen you in a while.”
“You mean catching up about my feeling with Matsumoto Jun?” Yana corrected him. She knows those misleading lines by now.
“Well, since you suggested it, why not?” Jin shrugged his shoulders before giggling. “So go ahead and take a bath. I’m hungry.” He said as he pushed her inside the bathroom without hesitation.
---
“So…” Jin began talking while playing with his fork. They are seated at the open air area of their usual café with pasta, Panini and chocolate milkshake to ease the heat of this dreaded summer.
Yana looked at him behind her dark rimmed sunglasses. “Get straight to the point, Bakanishi.” She ordered him. Lately, she’s been telling people that line frequently.
“Okay, Yana. I’m going to make this short and sweet because you’re probably fed up with Eri.” Jin fixed his fedora before continuing. “I want you to be happy, you know that, right?” he asked and she nodded. “And he makes you happy, right?” he asked again.
“Yes. He does.” Yana answered timidly.
“And you love him, right?” Jin smirked and she rolled her eyes. “I take that as a yes… And I’m sure he loves you too.”
“Where is this leading, Jin? Seriously?”
“Yana…” Jin took her hand. “You’re happy with each other and you love each other. It is that simple. Why do you have to complicate things? And don’t start with your petty issues about being scared and not being confident enough because, Yana, I tell you… Love overcomes everything. When you suddenly feel scared just think about how much you love him and how much of a bright and happy future you can have together. When you feel small and insecure just think about how he accepts you for who you are no matter what past you had and how his love for you never changed one bit.”
“Short and sweet indeed, Jin.” Yana laughed tensely. That little speech by Jin is strike two.
---
The sound of buzzing horns echoed the street as the traffic gets heavy every second. Vehicles packed the highway as a crowd of young girls packed the sidewalk.
“What is this traffic?” Yana wonders as she studies the girls walking, they somehow looked uniformed for some reason.
“There’s a concert at Kokuritsu today.” Jin said meaningfully, glancing swiftly at Yana.
“And you intentionally passed here?” Yana smiled knowingly.
“This is the only way back to your house.” Jin defended as Yana shakes her head.
“We’re stuck here, Jin.” Yana stated the obvious.
“It’s okay, more time catching up with you.” Jin changed the playlist on his IPod and a familiar song started playing.
Yana began laughing hysterically. “Since when do you listen to Arashi?”
“What are you talking about? We’re on the same agency, you know. We listen to each other’s works.” Jin answered nonchalantly but inside he was cracking up like crazy.
Yan shakes her head in suspicion. He perfectly planned this day and it turned out accordingly to his plans.
She suddenly remembered something as she quickly opens her bag and grabbed her wallet. She pulled out two tickets and reads the date.
“What’s the date today?” Yana asked.
“August 21, 2010.” Jin recited perfectly.
The tickets are for today’s concert.
Instinctively, Yana handed him one ticket and carelessly opens her side of the door. “Find a parking lot and meet me inside.” She hurriedly went out of the car and crossed the street with the immovable vehicles.
“Yana! Be careful!” Jin calls out and Yana waved her hand as he watches her successfully crossing the street and running towards the entrance of the stadium.
“Big success.” Jin mumbles to himself as he drums his fingers on the steering wheel.
---
It is not advisable to run with all your might in this summer heat.
When Yana finally reached the entrance, she’s dripping in sweat and catching her breath. The entrance is fully empty now that the concert has already started as she can hear the crowd cheering and she can also hear Arashi singing Troublemaker.
She stopped for a moment before entering to catch her breath and to wipe the sweat with the tissues in her bag. When she’s finally breathing normally, she removed her sunglasses and fixed her hat and heads towards the gates.
“Excuse me.” She called the woman by the entrance. “I need to find my seat.” She showed her the ticket.
“I’ll lead you to your seat, Izumi-san.” The woman, probably in her early twenties, smiled at her.
Probably because she’s a celebrity or the fact she has a VIP ticket that this girl is extra nice to her to even bring her to her seat.
When they reached inside the stadium, Yana can only dropped her jaw upon seeing the mammoth Kokuritsu crowd with her own eyes. It’s terrifying just by looking at it as a spectator what more if you’re performing?
She glanced at the enormous stage and of course, the guys performing as she walks inside. Nobody noticed her since everyone’s attention is on the five sparkly guys on stage.
The VIP area is situated just near the stage and they had the perfect view possible. The people on the VIP section are eyeing her intensely and it’s when she realized that she’s only wearing a strapless top and a denim shorts, totally different from the neatly dressed people on this section. These people are probably the other members’ family but she couldn’t see anyone from Jun’s family.
The members separated three to two as Jun, Nino and Sho moved to the left side and Aiba and Ohno are on the right side where the VIP seats are. After singing Happiness, the infamous moving platforms began moving up as they start singing Attack It.
During their opening spiels, Aiba suddenly noticed Yana from the crowd and he started jumping and waving excitedly at her and she waved back just as excited. He quickly gets Ohno’s attention and pointed at Yana, Ohno gave her a warm smile. She suddenly felt shy after receiving meaningful smile from the people around her. Mind you, these people are Arashi’s family members.
Arashi entered back stage and comes out Nino from the stop of the stage with funky suit along with four back dancers wearing bright yellow clothes.
Backstage, Aiba quickly finds Jun to tell him his good news. “Matsujuuuuuuunnnn!!!!” His voice filled the backstage as everyone stops what they’re doing and swings their attention to him.
“What’s wrong with you?” Jun asked calmly as he changed his outfit.
“Yana-chan is here! I saw her!” Aiba’s high voice rings inside his ears. It also caught Sho’s attention.
“Yana’s here?” Jun asked, just to confirm.
“Yeah, I saw her too.” Ohno answered with a smile.
Jun suddenly felt butterflies on his stomach and he couldn’t move, he’s totally frozen with nothing covering the upper half of his body. He never thought that Yana would come today, he actually thinks that she forgot about the tickets he gave her.
Aiba, Ohno and Sho stares at the dumbfounded Jun.
“She’s hereeeeeeee!!!” Aiba grabs Jun by the shoulders and shakes him back and forth and that’s when Jun started smiling widely.
“SHE’S HERE!!!!” Jun began rejoicing as he bear hugs Aiba. The two started jumping and up and down with joy as the two oldest stare at them in astonishment.
As they went back to the stage with their pop-ish, colorful outfit, Jun excitedly went to his position and good thing it is near the VIP section. He is eagerly waiting for the song to reach until the second chorus because that’s when he’ll be exchanging positions with Ohno who’s much closer and who has a much better view of the VIP area.
And when the much awaited second chorus came, Jun exchanged high fives with Ohno and happily walks towards the far side of the stage. He started looking for her and when his eyes finally finds her, he suddenly stopped singing and his attention is only fixated on her. He saw her laughing timidly at him.
“Don’t stop singing.” He saw her mouthing to him and that’s when he came back to his senses.
For a moment they were just exchanging longing looks and smiles at each other until it’s time for the stage to move to the other side. Jun gave her a flying kiss before finally getting his attention away from her and started dancing to Kitto Daijoubu.
Jin, who arrived in the middle of Nino’s solo, playfully nudged Yana’s shoulder. “You have to thank me for passing this way.” He teased.
“Thank you.” Yana told him with a bright smile, her eyes never leaving Jun.
The concert continues with all 70,000 fans absolutely oblivious to the fact that Matsumoto Jun’s special lady is one in the crowd. Jun was extra enthusiastic after he saw her. Every time he gets a chance, he would give flying kisses and sweet smiles making Yana blush with every gesture.
The encore is filled with energetic songs as Yana jumps and sings along with them. When they return for the second encore, they started singing Love Rainbow as Jun intentionally stands in front of her, as if singing the song for her. When the line “Ashita mo zutto sono saki mo kimi to itai dake (Tomorrow and to the far future, I only want to be with you)” comes, he affectionately points towards her, making her weak in the knees and her cheeks burning with fire, that it almost put her to tears of joy.
“I love you.” She mouthed and this time she said it first, courageously and confidently.
Jun smiled sweetly, his eyes can only see one person in this crowd of 70,000 people. “I love you too.” He mouthed back and he can see her overcoming with emotions as tears filled her eyes.
---
The once filled seats of Kokuritsu are now completely empty as Yana occupies one seat from the upper floor. She asked if she can wait for Jun here and a staff agrees to send him the message. Jin already left after the last encore and wishes her good luck and gave her big, warm hug before leaving.
As she savors the cool breeze and spectacular view from her spot, she saw Jun running from below, eagerly rushing towards her. She watched him the entire time, her heart beating faster as he comes closer.
When they’re finally a few inch from each other, they stood in deafening silence, they longing eyes and their fast beating hearts did all the talking. Jun came closer and closer and took her by the waist, brushing the hair off her face as he stares at her admiringly.
“I’ve wanted to do this since I first saw you earlier.” Jun spoke first. “If I could just jump from the stage and do this I will…”
Yana smiled and he quickly kissed her, a kissed filled with desire and passion and love that he’s been defeating for the past twenty seven days.
When they lips parted for air, their foreheads touched each other and they intertwined their hands together. “I’m sorry for being stupid and stubborn that night.”
“Shhhh.” Jun stops her. “It’s okay. I understand.”
“I only want to be with you, Jun.”
“I only want to be with you too.”
Their stare is filled with burning passion as they reached in for another kiss. “You’re not going to leave me again, are you?”
“I won’t.” Yana answers. “I won’t ever leave you again.”
Jun reached for her lips again and the raindrops suddenly started falling on them. They continued kissing under the rain, not minding the presence at all.
“Even the rain approves.” Jun said and they both laughed as the raindrops starts to get bigger and bigger.
He hugs her in his arms as tightly as possible, he’s not gonna let this go anymore. “I love you, Yana.” He whispered fondly in her ears.
Yana pulled back from the hug, held his cheeks in her cold hands and says, “I love you even more, Matsumoto Jun.”
Jun grins happily as he steals a quick peck on her lips.
And just like that song lyrics, ‘tomorrow, and to the far future, I only want to be with you.’ It will all be real starting tonight.
*Jun and Yana will continue on the next fic! :D And if you guys want an epilogue, tell me. *winks* I already wrote an epilogue! Be sure to read it! XD
As always, this is unbeta-ed so don't hesitate to call my attention if you spotted any errors or mistakes. Comments, suggestions, reactions and criticisms are gladly welcomed. Happy reading! :D
CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT
Matsumoto Jun walks through the long stretch corridor as obliviously as he can be but with a face like that, people with surely figure out who he is even with the dropped down fedora hat and sunglasses. It was almost three in the morning and his drama filming just ended after starting at seven this morning. He is tired and all he wanted now is a good sleep but he just can’t ignore the fact that someone he loves so much is in the hospital and that is because of him.
She probably doesn’t want to see him after what happened last night. She didn’t even call him for help when she knows that he just left her house a few minutes before she had that allergy attack. He is probably the least person she wanted to see right now but for him, he badly wanted to see her.
He doesn’t know what made her so scared when she’s just so assertive back when they were at the beach and their drive to his parent’s house. He thinks that maybe introducing her to his family is a bit too early and she’s not prepared for it. But his family welcomed her with open arms and he doesn’t see any reason for her to be scared at them.
He thinks that he understands her but at the same time he doesn’t. Yes, he knows how much scared Yana is with falling in love but he thought he did enough to make her overcome that fear by showing her how much she means to him. Is it not enough? Does he need to exert more effort? Is it him? He wonders.
He finally reached the room at the far end of the corridor and softly knocks twice. Yana might already be asleep and so is Eri since they doesn’t know that a visitor is coming at this time of the day. When no one answers, he quietly opened the door, careful not to wake anyone who’s asleep.
“Matsumoto-san.” Eri said in a hissed, Yana is sleeping soundly on the bed.
Jun removes his hat and sunglasses. “I’m sorry I came without notice. How is she?” he glanced at Yana sleeping at one side of the bed with her hand slipping under the pillow.
“She’s okay now. The swelling got better and the red spots all over her body are lightening. Blood test is fine too. If the rashes subside completely by tomorrow, she’ll be able to go home.”
Jun nods his head and sat on the empty space on the bed as he gently ran his hand on her hair. “She told me she’s allergic after she ate tons of shellfish… This brat.” He laughed softly, his hand is now fondling her face.
“She can be really mischievous and sometimes, she’s like a five-year-old kid.” Eri joins in the fun of mocking Yana. “You should have seen her earlier, her face is all puffed-up, she looks really funny.” She giggled.
“Izumi Yana can be ugly too, huh?” Jun chuckled and if Yana is awake, most definitely, he’ll receive some physically retaliation from her.
“Are you not mad anymore?” Eri suddenly turned serious and shifted the topic. “She told me you were so furious last night.”
“I’m still mad.” Jun firmly replied while creasing his eyebrows. He moves his gaze at Yana again, fondly running his hand on her hair. He suddenly breaks into a smile. “But I love her and it overcomes the anger inside me… And I think whatever triggered her decision is partly because of me.”
“Yana can be really dense sometimes…” Eri told him. “And she can be really scared too.”
Jun never left his eyes from Yana and his touch never left her skin. “I thought she’s over it… the being scared part. I thought that her love for me overpowered that fear.” His voice is sad and that is the first time Eri heard that tone from him.
“It’s not that easy to erase the fear she had all her life. She may have the strength one day and the next day the fear may come back, it’s not an easy process. And knowing Yana, she doesn’t have any confidence in herself when it comes to love.” Eri said, hoping that she can make Jun understand.
Jun purse his lips. “Until when do I have to wait? Sometimes I feel like this is not going anywhere.” His voice creaks and before he knew it, he is crying. “I love her so much but it feels like it is not enough. I tried doing everything for her but it feels like all my efforts backfired.” He bit his lower lip, as if an unpleasant thought cross his mind. “If she’s giving up like this… maybe it’s time for me to give up too.” His hand finally left her hair as both hands tried to stop the tears falling from his eyes.
Eri is looking at him with sharp, furious eyes and it somehow scares him. She suddenly stood up and pulled him out of the room without hesitation.
“BAKA!” She yelled at him and he was speechless. “If you’re going give up like that then you’re no different from her father and that Park Yoochun!” She continued yelling and she doesn’t care if the people passing the corridor heard her utter a celebrity’s name. “If you really love you’ll wait for when she’s ready.” She changed her voice in a calmer yet pleading voice. “If you really love her, you’ll understand.”
“She’s shutting me off her life, Eri!” Jun tried to contain his voice from rising.
“Because she’s stupid!” Eri yelled without remorse. “She doesn’t want you out of her life, she wants you in her life but she’s stupid and dense and impulsive!” She sighed heavily as turns around from Jun.
There was a brief silence before Eri spoke again. “Please don’t give up on her, Matsumoto-san. You’re all she has for that one shot of happiness she’s been yearning for so long.”
Jun looked down on the floor, both his hands inserted on his jeans pocket.
Eri waited for him to speak up but all she got was a single nod before he turns around and walks away.
---
The five members of Arashi are doing their final rehearsal at Kokoritsu Stadium before their tour kicks off tomorrow. The scorching heat of the sun is making it hard for them to move even an inch from where they are standing and the trucker hats and the hoodie towels doesn’t help.
“Ahhhh! I can’t take it! It’s so hot!!!” Aiba grunted as he takes off his shirt and joins the rest of his members to seat on the ground.
They face the enormous stage and futuristic looking set as they gather their strength back in this quick break.
It’s been almost a month since Yana’s birthday and that means Jun hasn’t seen here for almost a month as well. He’s focusing twice as hard on his drama and concert preparations to get his mind off her. He’s even more perfectionist than he used to and it worries the other members and the staff. Lately, he’s getting quick-tempered and demanding. There are times when he would raise his voice to a staff member if they didn’t get his request straight away and the other members would often come to the rescue to get the furious Jun out of the scene.
Jun told the members that Yana and him are taking a break and never divulge any further details about it. Nino, being the curious brat that he is, investigated on this matter and he got information straight from Eri and quickly shares to the others.
Nino considered talking to Jun about it but every time he sees him he’s got this scary look on his face and he would be instantly frightened. On one occasion, he even tried asking Sho to talk to Jun but he said to give it time and Sho, being the most dependable person on this matter, might be right.
Nobody knows what Jun has in mind with regards to matters involving Yana. He almost never mentions her name these days even though a big reason for his recent attitude is about her. The member fear that keeping everything to himself is more terrifying because once he explodes, all hell breaks loose and Nino dreads that maybe that day is about come.
“What are you doing tonight?” Nino asked as soon as he’s got Jun all by himself in their green room.
“Resting?” Jun replied sarcastically. “We’re having a concert tomorrow, in case you forget.”
“Let’s grab a drink before you go home. One bottle is enough.” Nino pats Jun’s shoulders.
Jun looks at him with these prying eyes. “Are you trying to get me to talk about her?” It was that easy for him to figure out what Nino had in mind.
Nino shudders with the her part. Is it that hard for Jun to mention her name?
“Well, I think you need someone to talk to. You, keeping it to yourself will not do any good. You’re just going to continue affecting everyone negatively with your offensive attitude.” Nino bravely gets straight to point. They wouldn’t need to grab a drink after all. They can all settle it here.
Jun suddenly got think guilt look on his face like Nino hit it straight to his heart. “I’m sorry. Sometimes, I just can’t control it.”
“Control what?” Nino sat on an empty chair comfortably.
“My emotions.” Jun answered, sitting opposite Nino. “Sometimes, I just miss her so much that it’s getting in nerves that I can’t do anything about. And what’s worse is that I miss her every day and I have to control my emotions every day and it’ll just backfire and I’ll suddenly go nuts on you guys and staff.”
Nino never thought it would be this easy to get Jun to talk. Maybe he just needed someone to strike a conversation and he’ll give in. And Nino regrets not doing it earlier.
“If you miss her then why don’t you go see her?”
Jun sighed. “If she wanted to see me and talk to me, she’ll do it.” He utter in a lower voice. “She wanted time and space and I’m giving it to her. I don’t want to give in first this time because I’m always the one initiating before.”
“Are you getting her to chase you?”
“I’m not trying to get her to chase me.” Jun clears it once and for all. “Although it may appear that way but what I just wanted is for her to realize things all by herself, without me tailing at her every minute of every day.”
“So you’re saying that it’s all up to her now?” Nino confirms and Jun nodded uncertainly. “But Yana is the most dense person I know! That brat needs a little push every time, she doesn’t have the ability to realize those kind of things by herself.”
“Well, she needs to use her brain and her heart a little better this time.”
“But it’s almost a month.” Nino reminded him.
“I know. Believe me, I know. It’s exactly twenty six days.” Jun laughed.
“You’re actually enduring it all these time?” Nino asked in disbelief.
“I once thought of giving up and Eri lectured me on how I’m no different from the men in her life and then I learned how stupid of me to actually think of giving up on her when my heart and mind only screams her name every day and every night… All I wanted for her is to be happy and contented. If I needed to stay away from her life temporarily then so be it, as long as she realize what she really wanted in the end.”
“And you’re that confident that she wanted you in the end?” Nino pointed out.
Jun smiled widely. “Of course.” He beams proudly.
---
For the past twenty six days, Yana’s life has been a routine. Wake up at nine in the morning, take a walk, get a coffee and bread on the way back home, eat, shower, go to the studio and spend the entire day writing and recording songs and then go home just before midnight and go to sleep, all these things done with Matsumoto Jun carelessly slipping in her mind every minute.
He is the first person on her mind when she wakes up, she listens to him singing, even with his annoyingly, scratchy singing voice while strolling around the neighborhood, she thinks of him whenever she eats breakfast because she misses sharing breakfast with him and she most definitely misses his cooking. All her songs are about him and whenever she sings them, she remembers the memories she had with him while writing those songs. He is the last person on her mind before she falls asleep at night.
And she still wonders what’s keeping her from running back into his arms.
As Yana arrives at home just a little past midnight, she picks up her phone from her bag and switched it back on. Her phone is pretty much unnecessary for her these days as Eri is the only one calling and texting her and they are together all the time.
She went into the bathroom to prepare the tub, she’s extra tired today, with her album releasing in a few days, all she needed right now is a quick soak in warm water.
She heard her phone ringing from her bed and she quickly tends to it thinking that it was Eri but she is mistaken.
“Mom…” Yana answered. She wondered what it might be. Is she here in Tokyo again?
“Yana! Finally, I’ve been calling you since an hour ago.” She heard her mother from the other line.
“I’m working in the studio… Why did you call?” She wanted to know what this phone call is all about.
“Just checking out on you.”
Yana chucked as she strips off her clothes with one hand and getting inside the tub. “That’s very unusual of you, Mom. Why did you call? Please get to the point right away.” She laughs. There’s no such thing as checking out on her. This is the first time she heard that.
“Okay, since you wanted it straight to the point…” Her mother paused for a moment. “Eri told me about Matsumoto Jun-san.”
Yana winces, of course, Eri has been reporting all these time. “I’m not shocked.”
“Don’t get mad at her, she just want to help… How stubborn can you be, Yana?” It appears to her that the last sentence is more insulting when it comes out from her mother’s mouth. “Eri said that maybe I can be of help to you since you’re not listening to her anymore…”
Eri’s been bugging her for days to come and talk to Jun and lately she’s just ignoring her whenever the topic shifts to him.
“I will talk to him when I’m fully ready, Mom.”
“You’re not yet fully ready until now?” Her mother’s voice is getting more sarcastic as they delve into the topic.
Yana clicks her tongue. “I’ll come around, Mom.”
“What are you waiting for, Yana? When it’s too late? When he doesn’t feel the same as you do anymore?”
She has thought of that and that frightens her too. But she knows Jun, he can’t possibly do it that easily.
“I know you’re scared, Yana. I can’t blame you but taking a risk a sign that you’re, at least, trying to live your life without regrets... Love, Yana. That’s the point. Let yourself experience love.”
“I get it, Mom…” Yana utters softly, her thought are drifting far away.
It is not so often that her mother gives her a life lesson and when she actually does, it hits her right in the spot.
---
“Wake up, sleepy head!” Yana heard a familiar voice echoing through her room and a palm is softly slapping her cheeks continuously.
“Shut up, Akanishi!” She yelled at him, without opening her eyes.
“Wake up, Yanana! Look at the sunshine outside!” Jin suddenly pulled the curtains wide open and she covered her face with the sheets. “It’s a beautiful day!”
She wonders what made Jin this hyper early in the morning.
“Hey! Wake up!” He suddenly ticked her on the side of her waist and she jumps in fright.
“What the hell is wrong with you!!” She screamed at the top her lungs as she rubs her waist.
Jin is unaffected and laughing. “Let’s go out and eat lunch.”
“What lunch?” She quickly looks at the clock and it says that it’s already fifteen minutes past twelve in the afternoon. “Whaaat? It’s past twelve already?”
She lost track of the time last night and she didn’t know how long she stayed in the tub after talking to her mother. She didn’t even know what time did she went to bed.
“Eri-chan said that it’s your day-off and it’s mine too so I figured that we should do some catching up. I haven’t seen you in a while.”
“You mean catching up about my feeling with Matsumoto Jun?” Yana corrected him. She knows those misleading lines by now.
“Well, since you suggested it, why not?” Jin shrugged his shoulders before giggling. “So go ahead and take a bath. I’m hungry.” He said as he pushed her inside the bathroom without hesitation.
---
“So…” Jin began talking while playing with his fork. They are seated at the open air area of their usual café with pasta, Panini and chocolate milkshake to ease the heat of this dreaded summer.
Yana looked at him behind her dark rimmed sunglasses. “Get straight to the point, Bakanishi.” She ordered him. Lately, she’s been telling people that line frequently.
“Okay, Yana. I’m going to make this short and sweet because you’re probably fed up with Eri.” Jin fixed his fedora before continuing. “I want you to be happy, you know that, right?” he asked and she nodded. “And he makes you happy, right?” he asked again.
“Yes. He does.” Yana answered timidly.
“And you love him, right?” Jin smirked and she rolled her eyes. “I take that as a yes… And I’m sure he loves you too.”
“Where is this leading, Jin? Seriously?”
“Yana…” Jin took her hand. “You’re happy with each other and you love each other. It is that simple. Why do you have to complicate things? And don’t start with your petty issues about being scared and not being confident enough because, Yana, I tell you… Love overcomes everything. When you suddenly feel scared just think about how much you love him and how much of a bright and happy future you can have together. When you feel small and insecure just think about how he accepts you for who you are no matter what past you had and how his love for you never changed one bit.”
“Short and sweet indeed, Jin.” Yana laughed tensely. That little speech by Jin is strike two.
---
The sound of buzzing horns echoed the street as the traffic gets heavy every second. Vehicles packed the highway as a crowd of young girls packed the sidewalk.
“What is this traffic?” Yana wonders as she studies the girls walking, they somehow looked uniformed for some reason.
“There’s a concert at Kokuritsu today.” Jin said meaningfully, glancing swiftly at Yana.
“And you intentionally passed here?” Yana smiled knowingly.
“This is the only way back to your house.” Jin defended as Yana shakes her head.
“We’re stuck here, Jin.” Yana stated the obvious.
“It’s okay, more time catching up with you.” Jin changed the playlist on his IPod and a familiar song started playing.
Yana began laughing hysterically. “Since when do you listen to Arashi?”
“What are you talking about? We’re on the same agency, you know. We listen to each other’s works.” Jin answered nonchalantly but inside he was cracking up like crazy.
Yan shakes her head in suspicion. He perfectly planned this day and it turned out accordingly to his plans.
She suddenly remembered something as she quickly opens her bag and grabbed her wallet. She pulled out two tickets and reads the date.
“What’s the date today?” Yana asked.
“August 21, 2010.” Jin recited perfectly.
The tickets are for today’s concert.
Instinctively, Yana handed him one ticket and carelessly opens her side of the door. “Find a parking lot and meet me inside.” She hurriedly went out of the car and crossed the street with the immovable vehicles.
“Yana! Be careful!” Jin calls out and Yana waved her hand as he watches her successfully crossing the street and running towards the entrance of the stadium.
“Big success.” Jin mumbles to himself as he drums his fingers on the steering wheel.
---
It is not advisable to run with all your might in this summer heat.
When Yana finally reached the entrance, she’s dripping in sweat and catching her breath. The entrance is fully empty now that the concert has already started as she can hear the crowd cheering and she can also hear Arashi singing Troublemaker.
She stopped for a moment before entering to catch her breath and to wipe the sweat with the tissues in her bag. When she’s finally breathing normally, she removed her sunglasses and fixed her hat and heads towards the gates.
“Excuse me.” She called the woman by the entrance. “I need to find my seat.” She showed her the ticket.
“I’ll lead you to your seat, Izumi-san.” The woman, probably in her early twenties, smiled at her.
Probably because she’s a celebrity or the fact she has a VIP ticket that this girl is extra nice to her to even bring her to her seat.
When they reached inside the stadium, Yana can only dropped her jaw upon seeing the mammoth Kokuritsu crowd with her own eyes. It’s terrifying just by looking at it as a spectator what more if you’re performing?
She glanced at the enormous stage and of course, the guys performing as she walks inside. Nobody noticed her since everyone’s attention is on the five sparkly guys on stage.
The VIP area is situated just near the stage and they had the perfect view possible. The people on the VIP section are eyeing her intensely and it’s when she realized that she’s only wearing a strapless top and a denim shorts, totally different from the neatly dressed people on this section. These people are probably the other members’ family but she couldn’t see anyone from Jun’s family.
The members separated three to two as Jun, Nino and Sho moved to the left side and Aiba and Ohno are on the right side where the VIP seats are. After singing Happiness, the infamous moving platforms began moving up as they start singing Attack It.
During their opening spiels, Aiba suddenly noticed Yana from the crowd and he started jumping and waving excitedly at her and she waved back just as excited. He quickly gets Ohno’s attention and pointed at Yana, Ohno gave her a warm smile. She suddenly felt shy after receiving meaningful smile from the people around her. Mind you, these people are Arashi’s family members.
Arashi entered back stage and comes out Nino from the stop of the stage with funky suit along with four back dancers wearing bright yellow clothes.
Backstage, Aiba quickly finds Jun to tell him his good news. “Matsujuuuuuuunnnn!!!!” His voice filled the backstage as everyone stops what they’re doing and swings their attention to him.
“What’s wrong with you?” Jun asked calmly as he changed his outfit.
“Yana-chan is here! I saw her!” Aiba’s high voice rings inside his ears. It also caught Sho’s attention.
“Yana’s here?” Jun asked, just to confirm.
“Yeah, I saw her too.” Ohno answered with a smile.
Jun suddenly felt butterflies on his stomach and he couldn’t move, he’s totally frozen with nothing covering the upper half of his body. He never thought that Yana would come today, he actually thinks that she forgot about the tickets he gave her.
Aiba, Ohno and Sho stares at the dumbfounded Jun.
“She’s hereeeeeeee!!!” Aiba grabs Jun by the shoulders and shakes him back and forth and that’s when Jun started smiling widely.
“SHE’S HERE!!!!” Jun began rejoicing as he bear hugs Aiba. The two started jumping and up and down with joy as the two oldest stare at them in astonishment.
As they went back to the stage with their pop-ish, colorful outfit, Jun excitedly went to his position and good thing it is near the VIP section. He is eagerly waiting for the song to reach until the second chorus because that’s when he’ll be exchanging positions with Ohno who’s much closer and who has a much better view of the VIP area.
And when the much awaited second chorus came, Jun exchanged high fives with Ohno and happily walks towards the far side of the stage. He started looking for her and when his eyes finally finds her, he suddenly stopped singing and his attention is only fixated on her. He saw her laughing timidly at him.
“Don’t stop singing.” He saw her mouthing to him and that’s when he came back to his senses.
For a moment they were just exchanging longing looks and smiles at each other until it’s time for the stage to move to the other side. Jun gave her a flying kiss before finally getting his attention away from her and started dancing to Kitto Daijoubu.
Jin, who arrived in the middle of Nino’s solo, playfully nudged Yana’s shoulder. “You have to thank me for passing this way.” He teased.
“Thank you.” Yana told him with a bright smile, her eyes never leaving Jun.
The concert continues with all 70,000 fans absolutely oblivious to the fact that Matsumoto Jun’s special lady is one in the crowd. Jun was extra enthusiastic after he saw her. Every time he gets a chance, he would give flying kisses and sweet smiles making Yana blush with every gesture.
The encore is filled with energetic songs as Yana jumps and sings along with them. When they return for the second encore, they started singing Love Rainbow as Jun intentionally stands in front of her, as if singing the song for her. When the line “Ashita mo zutto sono saki mo kimi to itai dake (Tomorrow and to the far future, I only want to be with you)” comes, he affectionately points towards her, making her weak in the knees and her cheeks burning with fire, that it almost put her to tears of joy.
“I love you.” She mouthed and this time she said it first, courageously and confidently.
Jun smiled sweetly, his eyes can only see one person in this crowd of 70,000 people. “I love you too.” He mouthed back and he can see her overcoming with emotions as tears filled her eyes.
---
The once filled seats of Kokuritsu are now completely empty as Yana occupies one seat from the upper floor. She asked if she can wait for Jun here and a staff agrees to send him the message. Jin already left after the last encore and wishes her good luck and gave her big, warm hug before leaving.
As she savors the cool breeze and spectacular view from her spot, she saw Jun running from below, eagerly rushing towards her. She watched him the entire time, her heart beating faster as he comes closer.
When they’re finally a few inch from each other, they stood in deafening silence, they longing eyes and their fast beating hearts did all the talking. Jun came closer and closer and took her by the waist, brushing the hair off her face as he stares at her admiringly.
“I’ve wanted to do this since I first saw you earlier.” Jun spoke first. “If I could just jump from the stage and do this I will…”
Yana smiled and he quickly kissed her, a kissed filled with desire and passion and love that he’s been defeating for the past twenty seven days.
When they lips parted for air, their foreheads touched each other and they intertwined their hands together. “I’m sorry for being stupid and stubborn that night.”
“Shhhh.” Jun stops her. “It’s okay. I understand.”
“I only want to be with you, Jun.”
“I only want to be with you too.”
Their stare is filled with burning passion as they reached in for another kiss. “You’re not going to leave me again, are you?”
“I won’t.” Yana answers. “I won’t ever leave you again.”
Jun reached for her lips again and the raindrops suddenly started falling on them. They continued kissing under the rain, not minding the presence at all.
“Even the rain approves.” Jun said and they both laughed as the raindrops starts to get bigger and bigger.
He hugs her in his arms as tightly as possible, he’s not gonna let this go anymore. “I love you, Yana.” He whispered fondly in her ears.
Yana pulled back from the hug, held his cheeks in her cold hands and says, “I love you even more, Matsumoto Jun.”
Jun grins happily as he steals a quick peck on her lips.
And just like that song lyrics, ‘tomorrow, and to the far future, I only want to be with you.’ It will all be real starting tonight.
*Jun and Yana will continue on the next fic! :D And if you guys want an epilogue, tell me. *winks* I already wrote an epilogue! Be sure to read it! XD