Iraq's a Lemon (And I Want My Money Back)
This rant is a day late and a dollar short. I forgot to write yesterday. Sue me (I got home late from work.)
While it is nothing new that Iraq is going badly for American interests and stated goals, it is fun to, occasaionally, put into a new light. In this case, the Iraqq situation will be analyzed to the tune of Meat Loaf's "Life is a Lemon and I Want My Money Back"
I want my money back
I want my money back
Well, yes, we all kinda want the hundreds of billions of dollars to have been directed elsewhere, like New Orleans recovery.
It’s all or nothing
And nothing’s all I ever get
Every time I turn it on
I burn it up and burn it out
Is there REALLY a more accurate description of Shock and Awe? We went from vague negotiations to blowing the hell out of the place. We did burn a good chunk of the place up and a lot of it is blown out. So much so, there are even refugees.
It’s always something
There’s always something going wrong
That’s the only guarantee
That’s what this is all about
Whether it's Achmed Chalabi, Civil War, or Jill Carroll, there's always something going wrong. That's what seems to be a constant.
It’s a never ending attack
Everything’s a lie, and that’s a fact
Life is a lemon and I want my money back!
Never ending attack? Yup. Everything's a lie, well, let's stick with WMDs.
And all the morons
And all the stooges with their coins
They’re the ones who make the rules
It’s not a game - it’s just a rout
Well, okay, if you want to get more conspiracy theory than me, you can get into all this. Note, thata you're both painting a man to be a moron and a chimp and Machiavellian and saavy enough to get multiple Arab countries to work together to his tune. Human nature only goes so far.
There’s desperation
There’s desperation in the air
It leaves a stain on all your clothes
And no detergant gets it out
Again, reference the refugees. That's desperation if never there was a thing.
And we’re always slipping through the the cracks
Then the movie’s over - fade to black
Life is a lemon and I want my money back!
I want my money back
I want my money back
Well, we're not catching bin Laden or al-Zarqawi anytime soon, are we? They keep slipping trough the cracks of international intelligence and military forces. And we're getting more pissed about it as time goes on.
What about love? It's defective!
Umm, marraige rates are down? Ok, I got nothing on this.
What about sex? It’s defective!
There is some. And there are problems with various more hardcore Iraqi clerics cracking down on what a woman can or cannot do.
What about your family? It’s defective!
There are families being torn apart by this. That happens when you have varaious religions about to duke it out in the streets of just about very major city in Iraq. Which leads us to. . .
What about hope? It’s defective!
What about faith? It’s defective!
What about your gods? They’re defective!
Well, maybe gods is a touch too far. But, when groups targetting mosques and religious militias on the other, well, hope and faith are pretty much gone. And when guns and bombs take precendence over the Great Almighty, well, that's a defective set of gods.
What about your town? It’s defective!
Baghdad? Defective.
What about your school? It’s defective!
Iraqi schools are not that great.
What about your work? It’s defective!
Work? In Iraq? Not likely.
What about your childhood? It’s defective!
Well, okay, again being a refugee fucks up your childhood.
What about your future? It’s DEFECTIVE!!
See the leadership in Iraq. Tell me there's a future there where we just got the guy elected and we already don't like him. This is gonna go over real well for the forseeable future.
So it is written, so do I see it.
While it is nothing new that Iraq is going badly for American interests and stated goals, it is fun to, occasaionally, put into a new light. In this case, the Iraqq situation will be analyzed to the tune of Meat Loaf's "Life is a Lemon and I Want My Money Back"
I want my money back
I want my money back
Well, yes, we all kinda want the hundreds of billions of dollars to have been directed elsewhere, like New Orleans recovery.
It’s all or nothing
And nothing’s all I ever get
Every time I turn it on
I burn it up and burn it out
Is there REALLY a more accurate description of Shock and Awe? We went from vague negotiations to blowing the hell out of the place. We did burn a good chunk of the place up and a lot of it is blown out. So much so, there are even refugees.
It’s always something
There’s always something going wrong
That’s the only guarantee
That’s what this is all about
Whether it's Achmed Chalabi, Civil War, or Jill Carroll, there's always something going wrong. That's what seems to be a constant.
It’s a never ending attack
Everything’s a lie, and that’s a fact
Life is a lemon and I want my money back!
Never ending attack? Yup. Everything's a lie, well, let's stick with WMDs.
And all the morons
And all the stooges with their coins
They’re the ones who make the rules
It’s not a game - it’s just a rout
Well, okay, if you want to get more conspiracy theory than me, you can get into all this. Note, thata you're both painting a man to be a moron and a chimp and Machiavellian and saavy enough to get multiple Arab countries to work together to his tune. Human nature only goes so far.
There’s desperation
There’s desperation in the air
It leaves a stain on all your clothes
And no detergant gets it out
Again, reference the refugees. That's desperation if never there was a thing.
And we’re always slipping through the the cracks
Then the movie’s over - fade to black
Life is a lemon and I want my money back!
I want my money back
I want my money back
Well, we're not catching bin Laden or al-Zarqawi anytime soon, are we? They keep slipping trough the cracks of international intelligence and military forces. And we're getting more pissed about it as time goes on.
What about love? It's defective!
Umm, marraige rates are down? Ok, I got nothing on this.
What about sex? It’s defective!
There is some. And there are problems with various more hardcore Iraqi clerics cracking down on what a woman can or cannot do.
What about your family? It’s defective!
There are families being torn apart by this. That happens when you have varaious religions about to duke it out in the streets of just about very major city in Iraq. Which leads us to. . .
What about hope? It’s defective!
What about faith? It’s defective!
What about your gods? They’re defective!
Well, maybe gods is a touch too far. But, when groups targetting mosques and religious militias on the other, well, hope and faith are pretty much gone. And when guns and bombs take precendence over the Great Almighty, well, that's a defective set of gods.
What about your town? It’s defective!
Baghdad? Defective.
What about your school? It’s defective!
Iraqi schools are not that great.
What about your work? It’s defective!
Work? In Iraq? Not likely.
What about your childhood? It’s defective!
Well, okay, again being a refugee fucks up your childhood.
What about your future? It’s DEFECTIVE!!
See the leadership in Iraq. Tell me there's a future there where we just got the guy elected and we already don't like him. This is gonna go over real well for the forseeable future.
So it is written, so do I see it.