Fic: Half Crazy
Title: Half Crazy
Pairing: Fernando Verdasco/Feliciano Lopez; Ana Ivanovic, Jelena Jankovic (brief mentions of Nadal and Moya)
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Not true
Summary: Feli and Nando are friends and fuck buddies until in one moment everything changes. Angst.
A/N: All conversations are in Spanish unless otherwise indicated.
I should give a timeline for this. Let's say beginning of January 2009.
(background info, if you need it. Maria is Feli's ex, who he had been going out with for five years. In this fic, Ana and Nando are still together)
“Fuckmefuckmefuckme.”
It’s a steady chant Feliciano has got going on for the last few minutes. His fingernails cling to Fernando’s biceps, formulating bruises that will appear hours later. Fernando’s thrusting at a brutal pace, but he knows Feli loves it and can handle it. He’s leaning over him, hands on either side of him, sweat pouring on to Feli’s body.
“Touch me, Nando, please.”
The need in Feliciano’s plea ignites the lust in Fernando and he has Feli’s cock in his hand within seconds, stroking him just as fiercely as his cock pistons in and out. Then their bodies lock, and Feliciano’s screaming out as he orgasms, Fernando right behind him. They share sweet kisses as they come back down to earth. Fernando reluctant gets off of Feliciano and the bed to walk into the bathroom to remove the condom and returns with a towel. After cleaning up, they lay together, Fernando on top of Feliciano, reveling in the silence until Feli nudges him.
“When do you have to go?”
Fernando turns to look at the clock. “Hmm about an hour. You’re coming right?”
Feliciano groans and tries to bury himself in Fernando’s hair. “If it’s just going to be you and Ana, do I have to?” There’s a puff of warm breath on his bare chest and Fernando chuckles.
“It’s not just me and her. Her friends are going to be there too. Just come for a drink?”
“Her friends? Now I definitely don’t want to go.” That earns him a poke in the side.
“Ok, so you won’t know anyone except Jelena, but you like her, right?” Fernando lifts his head and pouts his best pout ever. Feliciano throws his head back and groans.
“Yeah ok, fine. You win. I’ll come.” It earns him a kiss on the center of his chest then he feels Fernando’s tongue wrap around his nipple. “Nan-Nando.” His voice breaks as Fernando earnestly sucks the flesh between his lips. “You-You’re going to be l-late.”
The lips don’t stop though as Fernando makes his way lower, kissing, licking and biting every inch of the way, whispering against damp skin, “You’re worth it.”
{*}
Quickly checking his reflection in the restaurant’s windows, Feliciano still doesn’t know why he’s here. Sure, Fernando invited him, begged him actually but he still thinks that it would be better if he didn’t come. Fernando and him are friends, friends who fuck, sure but friends nonetheless. Except he doesn’t know how true that really is when Fernando’s smile has his stomach in knots; or how his touch makes him feel a sense of belonging. One day it all changed and Feliciano’s not sure if it is for the better. He won’t voice his thoughts, his feelings out loud because he can’t make sense it of. Besides, Fernando’s happy; why jeopardize that with something he can’t even explain to himself?
“Feli! I am so happy you come!” Fernando says in English, a smile adorning his face, as he walks towards their table. They briefly hug and kiss each other on the cheek. Feliciano does the same with Ana and Jelena and greets the others with a shy smile and a quiet “Hello”.
He takes the vacant seat next to Jelena, who immediately asks how he’s doing. He likes Jelena. She’s always pleasant to be around. Soon discussion is in full force, although it’s in rough English, they understand each other pretty well.
Throughout the night, Feliciano is busy watching Fernando and Ana together, keeping up with the conversation and sending/receiving text messages with Maria. Even though they are no longer together, she will always be dear to Feli. They’re just too different in too many ways. He’s in the middle of responding to a message someone smacks him on the side of the head. He looks up to see a smirking Fernando.
“Ana was ask you something, perdedor.”
Feliciano flushes. “Oh, sorry, Ana.”
Ana just laughs, wrapping an arm around Fernando’s waist. “That’s ok. We go dancing. You come with us?”
Feliciano is about to decline when he sees Fernando pouting. That damn pout. “Yes, sure. Why not?” Fernando gives him a warm smile that pulls at his heartstrings and Feliciano doesn’t know why. He doesn’t say any more though, as they pay the check and leave the restaurant. Jelena is holding on to the arm he offered out as they walk towards the street, seeking a taxi. The four of them pile into one, with Feliciano in the front. He hears Ana giggling but doesn’t turn around. The phone in his pocket buzzes and when he opens it, he wishes he didn’t.
te extraño
The message goes unanswered.
{*}
Backs leaning against the bar, drinks in their grasps, Feliciano and Fernando watch as the girls dance amongst the throng of people. The beat flows easily throughout the club and their bodies.
“I got a message from Maria.”
Fernando looks over to Feliciano, eyebrows raised. “Yeah? What did she say?”
He looks down at his drinks, watching the ice cubes idly float on top of the liquid. “She… She misses me.”
“What did you say back?”
“Nothing.”
“Good.”
The single word causes Feliciano to look up into Fernando’s eyes. His heart clenches at what he sees: worry, concern and anger. The last one confuses Feliciano but he remains silent, not sure what to say anyway.
Fernando swings his arm over his shoulders and tucks himself into Feliciano’s side, pressing his face into his neck. “It’s hard because you two were together for a long time. But it’s better this way. Trust me.”
The words brush against his skin along with lips, causing Feliciano smile, reveling in the moist heat. He reaches for the hand hanging off his shoulders and takes into his own, squeezing it lightly.
“I do, Nando. I do.”
They stand together, smiling in silence when Ana and Jelena come up to them, a little out of breath.
“Dance with us! Why you just stand there?” Ana asks with much enthusiasm as she pulls at Fernando’s free hand, unconsciously wrenching him away from Feli. She begins to walk towards the dance floor and Nando reaches for Feliciano’s wrist with a grin. He goes along willingly, catching Jelena hand too. The four of them march in an impromptu human chain and Feli would laugh if he weren’t too concentrated on the feel of Fernando’s fingers wrapped around his wrist. It’s a simple touch he has felt on a million occasions but it just feels right.
As soon as they get to the dance floor, they begin to dance in one big circle. This is was Feliciano’s second home, right here on the dance floor. He loves the atmosphere, carefree intoxicating. The others are in a good mood too, laughing along with Feli when he spins around Jelena and dips her. After a while, with the sweat clinging to his skin, Feliciano saunters over to the bar for a drink. Settling back, his eyes wander to the floor where he sees Jelena dancing with some guy. It takes a little more effort to spot the other two, but when he does he wishes he didn’t. Flushed together, Ana has her arms wrapped around Fernando’s shoulders, fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, foreheads resting against each other. Jealously spouts and in that moment Feliciano knows what that feeling is he couldn’t identify before.
He loves Fernando.
{*}
For the first time in a long time, Feliciano is fucking glad to use tennis as a distraction. It’s been a month since his is revelation in the club and he’s been avoiding the subject ever since. He knows Fernando thinks something is up. Their conversations are plagued by awkward silences and that’s when Feliciano decides to answer his phone. In person, Feli would barely give him a half-hug before jumping on the next person, usually Rafa or Carlos. However, his carefully planned avoidance comes to halt today when he couldn’t come up with an legitimate excuse for not attending Ana’s and Fernando’s party at their home which they have had planned months in advanced. Now, he sits, trying his best to not think of that night, of anything but it’s hard when Fernando’s right in front of him, smiling his adorable smile, unaware of the power of just a simple thing.
Eventually, Rafa sits down next to him and starts talking about plans about renovating his parent’s house. Feliciano nods in all the correct places, throwing in a “yeah” or “sounds good” occasionally, eyes fixed on his fingers. He doesn’t notice when Rafa is replaced with Fernando and jumps when familiar fingers wrap around his, stopping his idle movement.
“What’s wrong, Feli?”
His eyes stay down as he shrugs but to no avail when Fernando’s free hand comes to rest on his chin, pushing it up so their gaze meet.
“Tell me, Feliciano.”
Feli’s eyes watch Fernando’s lips curve around the pronunciation of his name, his heart catching a little. “It’s nothing, Nando.”
“It’s not nothing when you don’t talk to me for weeks. Did I do something wrong?”
Feliciano hates himself a little at the look in Fernando’s eyes, like a lost little boy. He’s quick to shake his head. “No, you didn’t do anything. I…”
When he doesn’t continue, Fernando lets out an exasperated sigh. “Then what, Feli?! Talk to me. We used to talk about everything.”
Feliciano pulls away from Feranado’s grasp and stand up, only to have Fernando to follow. Their eyes could burn holes through each other. “I-I can’t do this here.” He starts to walk towards the kitchen. As soon as he’s through the door, hands on his shoulders spin him around.
“Can’t do what here? Talk to me, Feli!” Nando raises in voice out of frustration. He backs away, takes a deep breath and runs his fingers through his hair. It’s not going to help if they just yell at each other. Calming down a little, Fernando tries again. “You’re here, but you don’t talk to anyone. You didn’t even notice that Rafa got up and left. What’s wrong, Feli? I thought we’re friends, no? You can tell me anything.”
Backing away, Feliciano’s thighs connect with the counter; he hops up on it and sits with his shoulders hanging, eyes once again on his fingers, like they hold the answers to all his problems.
“It’s nothing, Fernando. I- I just feel a little down, is all. I’ll be fine.”
Fernando’s not buying it but he doesn’t rush to Feli right away. “Bullshit, Feliciano. Tell me the truth.” It seems like his brain is struggling itself, though as he just as quickly scuttles towards Feliciano, gently presses his chin up and kisses his lips. Feliciano reacts instinctively, kissing back with naked want. When he remembers where he is, he push Fernando away, pain marring his beautiful features.
“Don’t” It’s not more than a whisper, but Fernando hears it clearly and it cuts him. He looks at Nando with sad eyes, voice a little louder. “How can you do that when Ana’s just behind the door?”
Fernando walks back to him, settling in between his thighs after the initial fight Feliciano puts up. Placing his hands on his cheeks, Fernando brings their lips together again for a quick sweet soft kiss.
“This is about me and Ana?” It’s just a question, not an accusation.
Feliciano shakes his head, wishing he could just disappear. Fernando is looking at him with a slight frown on his face and Feli finds his lips moving on their own accord.
“It’s about me and you.”
Fernando is about to ask something, when there’s a sound of the door opening. He quickly steps out from between Feliciano’s legs but only to stand next to him, still as close as possible. Ana’s standing next to the door, a wide smile on her face.
“Nando, come! I want you to meet my good friend, Andrea.”
He smiles and begins to move towards her when he feels Feliciano’s fingers on his shoulder, pulling him in close. His lips are next to ear, voice low with anguish. “Don’t hate me, Nando but I love you.” He lets go with a light push. Fernando looks back, confusion evident on his face but the heartbroken expression Feli’s fractures something inside him. He doesn’t have time to react though as Ana’s persistence perks up again.
“Fernando?”
He walks towards her and when he passes through the door, he looks back at Feliciano once last time before it closes.
Continued in The Moment After
Pairing: Fernando Verdasco/Feliciano Lopez; Ana Ivanovic, Jelena Jankovic (brief mentions of Nadal and Moya)
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Not true
Summary: Feli and Nando are friends and fuck buddies until in one moment everything changes. Angst.
A/N: All conversations are in Spanish unless otherwise indicated.
I should give a timeline for this. Let's say beginning of January 2009.
(background info, if you need it. Maria is Feli's ex, who he had been going out with for five years. In this fic, Ana and Nando are still together)
“Fuckmefuckmefuckme.”
It’s a steady chant Feliciano has got going on for the last few minutes. His fingernails cling to Fernando’s biceps, formulating bruises that will appear hours later. Fernando’s thrusting at a brutal pace, but he knows Feli loves it and can handle it. He’s leaning over him, hands on either side of him, sweat pouring on to Feli’s body.
“Touch me, Nando, please.”
The need in Feliciano’s plea ignites the lust in Fernando and he has Feli’s cock in his hand within seconds, stroking him just as fiercely as his cock pistons in and out. Then their bodies lock, and Feliciano’s screaming out as he orgasms, Fernando right behind him. They share sweet kisses as they come back down to earth. Fernando reluctant gets off of Feliciano and the bed to walk into the bathroom to remove the condom and returns with a towel. After cleaning up, they lay together, Fernando on top of Feliciano, reveling in the silence until Feli nudges him.
“When do you have to go?”
Fernando turns to look at the clock. “Hmm about an hour. You’re coming right?”
Feliciano groans and tries to bury himself in Fernando’s hair. “If it’s just going to be you and Ana, do I have to?” There’s a puff of warm breath on his bare chest and Fernando chuckles.
“It’s not just me and her. Her friends are going to be there too. Just come for a drink?”
“Her friends? Now I definitely don’t want to go.” That earns him a poke in the side.
“Ok, so you won’t know anyone except Jelena, but you like her, right?” Fernando lifts his head and pouts his best pout ever. Feliciano throws his head back and groans.
“Yeah ok, fine. You win. I’ll come.” It earns him a kiss on the center of his chest then he feels Fernando’s tongue wrap around his nipple. “Nan-Nando.” His voice breaks as Fernando earnestly sucks the flesh between his lips. “You-You’re going to be l-late.”
The lips don’t stop though as Fernando makes his way lower, kissing, licking and biting every inch of the way, whispering against damp skin, “You’re worth it.”
{*}
Quickly checking his reflection in the restaurant’s windows, Feliciano still doesn’t know why he’s here. Sure, Fernando invited him, begged him actually but he still thinks that it would be better if he didn’t come. Fernando and him are friends, friends who fuck, sure but friends nonetheless. Except he doesn’t know how true that really is when Fernando’s smile has his stomach in knots; or how his touch makes him feel a sense of belonging. One day it all changed and Feliciano’s not sure if it is for the better. He won’t voice his thoughts, his feelings out loud because he can’t make sense it of. Besides, Fernando’s happy; why jeopardize that with something he can’t even explain to himself?
“Feli! I am so happy you come!” Fernando says in English, a smile adorning his face, as he walks towards their table. They briefly hug and kiss each other on the cheek. Feliciano does the same with Ana and Jelena and greets the others with a shy smile and a quiet “Hello”.
He takes the vacant seat next to Jelena, who immediately asks how he’s doing. He likes Jelena. She’s always pleasant to be around. Soon discussion is in full force, although it’s in rough English, they understand each other pretty well.
Throughout the night, Feliciano is busy watching Fernando and Ana together, keeping up with the conversation and sending/receiving text messages with Maria. Even though they are no longer together, she will always be dear to Feli. They’re just too different in too many ways. He’s in the middle of responding to a message someone smacks him on the side of the head. He looks up to see a smirking Fernando.
“Ana was ask you something, perdedor.”
Feliciano flushes. “Oh, sorry, Ana.”
Ana just laughs, wrapping an arm around Fernando’s waist. “That’s ok. We go dancing. You come with us?”
Feliciano is about to decline when he sees Fernando pouting. That damn pout. “Yes, sure. Why not?” Fernando gives him a warm smile that pulls at his heartstrings and Feliciano doesn’t know why. He doesn’t say any more though, as they pay the check and leave the restaurant. Jelena is holding on to the arm he offered out as they walk towards the street, seeking a taxi. The four of them pile into one, with Feliciano in the front. He hears Ana giggling but doesn’t turn around. The phone in his pocket buzzes and when he opens it, he wishes he didn’t.
te extraño
The message goes unanswered.
{*}
Backs leaning against the bar, drinks in their grasps, Feliciano and Fernando watch as the girls dance amongst the throng of people. The beat flows easily throughout the club and their bodies.
“I got a message from Maria.”
Fernando looks over to Feliciano, eyebrows raised. “Yeah? What did she say?”
He looks down at his drinks, watching the ice cubes idly float on top of the liquid. “She… She misses me.”
“What did you say back?”
“Nothing.”
“Good.”
The single word causes Feliciano to look up into Fernando’s eyes. His heart clenches at what he sees: worry, concern and anger. The last one confuses Feliciano but he remains silent, not sure what to say anyway.
Fernando swings his arm over his shoulders and tucks himself into Feliciano’s side, pressing his face into his neck. “It’s hard because you two were together for a long time. But it’s better this way. Trust me.”
The words brush against his skin along with lips, causing Feliciano smile, reveling in the moist heat. He reaches for the hand hanging off his shoulders and takes into his own, squeezing it lightly.
“I do, Nando. I do.”
They stand together, smiling in silence when Ana and Jelena come up to them, a little out of breath.
“Dance with us! Why you just stand there?” Ana asks with much enthusiasm as she pulls at Fernando’s free hand, unconsciously wrenching him away from Feli. She begins to walk towards the dance floor and Nando reaches for Feliciano’s wrist with a grin. He goes along willingly, catching Jelena hand too. The four of them march in an impromptu human chain and Feli would laugh if he weren’t too concentrated on the feel of Fernando’s fingers wrapped around his wrist. It’s a simple touch he has felt on a million occasions but it just feels right.
As soon as they get to the dance floor, they begin to dance in one big circle. This is was Feliciano’s second home, right here on the dance floor. He loves the atmosphere, carefree intoxicating. The others are in a good mood too, laughing along with Feli when he spins around Jelena and dips her. After a while, with the sweat clinging to his skin, Feliciano saunters over to the bar for a drink. Settling back, his eyes wander to the floor where he sees Jelena dancing with some guy. It takes a little more effort to spot the other two, but when he does he wishes he didn’t. Flushed together, Ana has her arms wrapped around Fernando’s shoulders, fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, foreheads resting against each other. Jealously spouts and in that moment Feliciano knows what that feeling is he couldn’t identify before.
He loves Fernando.
{*}
For the first time in a long time, Feliciano is fucking glad to use tennis as a distraction. It’s been a month since his is revelation in the club and he’s been avoiding the subject ever since. He knows Fernando thinks something is up. Their conversations are plagued by awkward silences and that’s when Feliciano decides to answer his phone. In person, Feli would barely give him a half-hug before jumping on the next person, usually Rafa or Carlos. However, his carefully planned avoidance comes to halt today when he couldn’t come up with an legitimate excuse for not attending Ana’s and Fernando’s party at their home which they have had planned months in advanced. Now, he sits, trying his best to not think of that night, of anything but it’s hard when Fernando’s right in front of him, smiling his adorable smile, unaware of the power of just a simple thing.
Eventually, Rafa sits down next to him and starts talking about plans about renovating his parent’s house. Feliciano nods in all the correct places, throwing in a “yeah” or “sounds good” occasionally, eyes fixed on his fingers. He doesn’t notice when Rafa is replaced with Fernando and jumps when familiar fingers wrap around his, stopping his idle movement.
“What’s wrong, Feli?”
His eyes stay down as he shrugs but to no avail when Fernando’s free hand comes to rest on his chin, pushing it up so their gaze meet.
“Tell me, Feliciano.”
Feli’s eyes watch Fernando’s lips curve around the pronunciation of his name, his heart catching a little. “It’s nothing, Nando.”
“It’s not nothing when you don’t talk to me for weeks. Did I do something wrong?”
Feliciano hates himself a little at the look in Fernando’s eyes, like a lost little boy. He’s quick to shake his head. “No, you didn’t do anything. I…”
When he doesn’t continue, Fernando lets out an exasperated sigh. “Then what, Feli?! Talk to me. We used to talk about everything.”
Feliciano pulls away from Feranado’s grasp and stand up, only to have Fernando to follow. Their eyes could burn holes through each other. “I-I can’t do this here.” He starts to walk towards the kitchen. As soon as he’s through the door, hands on his shoulders spin him around.
“Can’t do what here? Talk to me, Feli!” Nando raises in voice out of frustration. He backs away, takes a deep breath and runs his fingers through his hair. It’s not going to help if they just yell at each other. Calming down a little, Fernando tries again. “You’re here, but you don’t talk to anyone. You didn’t even notice that Rafa got up and left. What’s wrong, Feli? I thought we’re friends, no? You can tell me anything.”
Backing away, Feliciano’s thighs connect with the counter; he hops up on it and sits with his shoulders hanging, eyes once again on his fingers, like they hold the answers to all his problems.
“It’s nothing, Fernando. I- I just feel a little down, is all. I’ll be fine.”
Fernando’s not buying it but he doesn’t rush to Feli right away. “Bullshit, Feliciano. Tell me the truth.” It seems like his brain is struggling itself, though as he just as quickly scuttles towards Feliciano, gently presses his chin up and kisses his lips. Feliciano reacts instinctively, kissing back with naked want. When he remembers where he is, he push Fernando away, pain marring his beautiful features.
“Don’t” It’s not more than a whisper, but Fernando hears it clearly and it cuts him. He looks at Nando with sad eyes, voice a little louder. “How can you do that when Ana’s just behind the door?”
Fernando walks back to him, settling in between his thighs after the initial fight Feliciano puts up. Placing his hands on his cheeks, Fernando brings their lips together again for a quick sweet soft kiss.
“This is about me and Ana?” It’s just a question, not an accusation.
Feliciano shakes his head, wishing he could just disappear. Fernando is looking at him with a slight frown on his face and Feli finds his lips moving on their own accord.
“It’s about me and you.”
Fernando is about to ask something, when there’s a sound of the door opening. He quickly steps out from between Feliciano’s legs but only to stand next to him, still as close as possible. Ana’s standing next to the door, a wide smile on her face.
“Nando, come! I want you to meet my good friend, Andrea.”
He smiles and begins to move towards her when he feels Feliciano’s fingers on his shoulder, pulling him in close. His lips are next to ear, voice low with anguish. “Don’t hate me, Nando but I love you.” He lets go with a light push. Fernando looks back, confusion evident on his face but the heartbroken expression Feli’s fractures something inside him. He doesn’t have time to react though as Ana’s persistence perks up again.
“Fernando?”
He walks towards her and when he passes through the door, he looks back at Feliciano once last time before it closes.
Continued in The Moment After