Customer Service 101

[midnightcoder]

Customer: This interface still doesn't work. You said something a week ago about changing our upload codes?
Me: No, we asked you to change your download codes.
Customer: But we already have download codes.
Me: Yes, but they're wrong, you need to change them.
Customer: Ok, so we have to change our download codes.
Me: Yes.
Customer: What do

Comments

[bouncingleaf]

Today I told my boss that if a certain customer requested our help in cleaning up the mess they'd made for themselves by doing something they're not supposed to be doing, that we should consider charging them for it, and that we should consider having our product come with a warning label akin to the "CHAUD - ATTENTION - HOT" warnings on the lids of disposable coffee cups.

[midnightcoder]

That's it, I think we need to put warning labels on any and all liquid beverages that clearly states in big bold letters "CAUTION: CONTENTS MAY BE WET". That won't be enough, though. Of course not. The civil rights ass-bastards will sick their rabid lawyer mongrels after us, claiming that we're only catering to the native English-speaking population. So we'll have to post the label in English, Spanish, French, German, Italian, Hebrew, Cockney, Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Navajo, Swahili, Afrikaans, Yiddish, Braille, Gaelic, Aramaic, Russian, Hindi, Inuit, and Zuni, all on the same stinking bottle of water!

/me explodes in a flaming ball of rant.

[stacirico]

Seriously! You should try working with international businesspeople, they're almost worse. They want the website in all kinds of funky languages like Thai and Swedish. And they cry bloody murder if you use an "international" image that focuses on North America or doesn't have the right flags on it. I actually had someone in Europe tell me once that "the world doesn't revolve around the U.S., you know." It's not like I'm draping our stuff in American flags or anything. Sheesh.

[midnightcoder]

The world doesn't revolve around the U.S., eh? Ok. We'll start making made-in-the-good-old-USA electric cars that run off hydrogen power, 'cause you know we have scientists good enough to do it. We'll stop importing foreign oil, 'cause we don't need the gasoline any more. Then we can get rid of all those offshore calling centers and hire a bunch of our own people to man the phones again. While we're at it, we can put up giant brick walls to close Mexican boarder. Pack up a few factories from China, Taiwan, Japan, and Korea and put 'em in Montana, Idaho, Texas, and Virginia and say that any Hispanic immigrant currently in this country can earn unquestioned citizinship by working in the factories for five years. Then we'll see how the world market is doing.

*sigh* But no, we won't do that. Because Americans are too proud of being American to actually take pride in America.