30 Rock, General Series. #016. Purple
Title: Like a Form of Sex Kissing Pollen
Fandom: 30 Rock
Pairing: Jack/Liz
Prompt: drabbles100 #016. Purple
Word Count: 452
Rating: PG
Author's Notes: Table is here.
Summary: The effects of gas leaks. (Post-ep for '100.')
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue. The TV reference is to The Simpsons.
*
Liz hates gas.
Wait, that sounds wrong. Not that she likes... Okay, it serves a purpose, especially in comedy. Anyway. What she means is, she hates gas leaks. No, she loves them. Yeah. She should call Dennis. No. She should keep kissing Jack.
No.
She should stop letting Jack touch her boob.
Yep.
She doesn't make him stop.
He stops kissing her on his own.
"This may be the gas talking, but it feels like your bra is full of candy bars, and for some reason, I don't mind." There's a slight pause. "Sideways Jack would be disgusted."
God, she wishes he would stop talking about Sideways Jack. He tried to tackle her to the ground. Well, that's what Regular Jack said; she can't see his hallucinations, but she did see Regular Jack punch the air. What if the Jack who's touching her boob is a hallucination? She hopes so. Or she doesn't. "One, there's only *a* candy bar in there because Frank found my secret stash and I *need* candy, and two, purple monkey dishwasher."
That's when she kind of kisses Jack on the mouth, which is different from before because *he* kissed *her* and she just didn't stop him, which makes it less wrong... She's kissing him, and she knows she is going to regret this. Part of her knows, anyway. Part of her that isn't affected by the gas. The rest of her is totally into this, yeah, this is awesome, and Jack should *totally* keep touching her boob. Touch both of them. Go nuts, buddy. He's better than Dennis. And purple monkey dishwashers. That's from something, isn't it? A TV show or a spaceship. Anyway, gas leaks are great.
Though... wait. Jack is married. Right? She should call Dennis. No, Jack is the one who's always been there, purple monkey dishwasher, so it's okay to make out with him under the effects of gas.
No.
Yes.
No.
Yeeeeeeeeeees. Right? Yes.
Hank Hooper agrees, apparently, because he pats both of them on their backs -- oh, the show is still going on, isn't it? She should put Dennis in a sketch, no -- and says, "Honeymoons for everyone! And a bigger budget! Great show!"
She and Jack break apart in time to see him fall to the ground. (Though Jack still has his hand on her boob.) Oh, crap, did she almost kill another of Jack's bosses? This is a weird habit to have. Although maybe he's *dead* and, oh God, that is worse. No, he's laughing. He's not dead. But regardless--
She says, "We should get everyone out of here soon."
Liz stays motionless for a moment. After he grabs her other boob, she kisses him on the mouth again.
So. Okay. Dishwasher monkey purple.
END
Fandom: 30 Rock
Pairing: Jack/Liz
Prompt: drabbles100 #016. Purple
Word Count: 452
Rating: PG
Author's Notes: Table is here.
Summary: The effects of gas leaks. (Post-ep for '100.')
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue. The TV reference is to The Simpsons.
*
Liz hates gas.
Wait, that sounds wrong. Not that she likes... Okay, it serves a purpose, especially in comedy. Anyway. What she means is, she hates gas leaks. No, she loves them. Yeah. She should call Dennis. No. She should keep kissing Jack.
No.
She should stop letting Jack touch her boob.
Yep.
She doesn't make him stop.
He stops kissing her on his own.
"This may be the gas talking, but it feels like your bra is full of candy bars, and for some reason, I don't mind." There's a slight pause. "Sideways Jack would be disgusted."
God, she wishes he would stop talking about Sideways Jack. He tried to tackle her to the ground. Well, that's what Regular Jack said; she can't see his hallucinations, but she did see Regular Jack punch the air. What if the Jack who's touching her boob is a hallucination? She hopes so. Or she doesn't. "One, there's only *a* candy bar in there because Frank found my secret stash and I *need* candy, and two, purple monkey dishwasher."
That's when she kind of kisses Jack on the mouth, which is different from before because *he* kissed *her* and she just didn't stop him, which makes it less wrong... She's kissing him, and she knows she is going to regret this. Part of her knows, anyway. Part of her that isn't affected by the gas. The rest of her is totally into this, yeah, this is awesome, and Jack should *totally* keep touching her boob. Touch both of them. Go nuts, buddy. He's better than Dennis. And purple monkey dishwashers. That's from something, isn't it? A TV show or a spaceship. Anyway, gas leaks are great.
Though... wait. Jack is married. Right? She should call Dennis. No, Jack is the one who's always been there, purple monkey dishwasher, so it's okay to make out with him under the effects of gas.
No.
Yes.
No.
Yeeeeeeeeeees. Right? Yes.
Hank Hooper agrees, apparently, because he pats both of them on their backs -- oh, the show is still going on, isn't it? She should put Dennis in a sketch, no -- and says, "Honeymoons for everyone! And a bigger budget! Great show!"
She and Jack break apart in time to see him fall to the ground. (Though Jack still has his hand on her boob.) Oh, crap, did she almost kill another of Jack's bosses? This is a weird habit to have. Although maybe he's *dead* and, oh God, that is worse. No, he's laughing. He's not dead. But regardless--
She says, "We should get everyone out of here soon."
Liz stays motionless for a moment. After he grabs her other boob, she kisses him on the mouth again.
So. Okay. Dishwasher monkey purple.
END