One To Five (30 Rock, Liz/Avery)
Title: One To Five
Prompt: un_love_you #26. I can be like you.
Fandom: 30 Rock
Pairing: Liz/Avery
Spoilers: through 'Gentleman's Intermission'
Word Count: 837
Rating: PG-13
Table: Over here.
Notes: This is an odd bit of work, about a pairing that's not super popular, so if you pass on reading it, I will understand.
Summary: The worst thing about sleeping with your best friend's ex-wife...
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine. Please don't sue.
*
The worst thing about sleeping with your best friend's ex-wife/baby mama (that's not the right term if they were married, is it? Oh, who cares, she has a baby with him, she's the mama of his baby) is the guilt. Because this is terrible, right? Bros before hoes and you are his bro. A terrible bro. Someday you're going to be written into a book about the world's worst bros and then Jack will know what you did to him--
Wow. You are just not making any sense.
(For the record, the second worst thing about having sex with Avery is: discovering that a woman who's had a baby has a much better body than you do. And even though she had a c-section, you can't see a scar. Freaky. Maybe rich people have their babies born via telekinesis. Their lives are just floating chairs and bent spoons and babies appearing outside of their mother's body by pure magic.)
But maybe Jack would understand. He's done bad stuff, right? He's done inappropriate sex stuff. Maybe he'll be proud of you.
No. He won't.
(Here's what you think would happen: He'd stare off into space, wistfully make a weird comment about Avery, then non-wistfully let out an angry one before starting to craft his plan for revenge. Because that's what this is for her: revenge. Well, you assume that's the case. When she first came to your office and made out with you, you were wearing sweatpants and a hoodie and, hey, not the type of outfit that spontaneously creates huge amounts of horniness. Why was she even in your office, anyway? For revenge, is the answer. Your office usually only gets used for revenge when you're not in it, so that was different.)
The best thing about sleeping with Avery is the sex. Which is why you keep doing it. She's surprisingly good at lesbian sex for a straight woman -- and apparently Republican ladies don't use college as an excuse for girl-on-girl experimentation, and when she told you that she was all *pointed* about it, for some reason -- and you're surprisingly into lesbian sex for a straight woman, so... yeah.
Yeah.
Oh.
(During the sex, you stop thinking. During the sex, you're mindless, and maybe he would be proud. He seemed to consider the time he was juggling two women as proof of his superiority to you and your sourness, proof of his openness -- and on a sexual level, you've never been closed for Avery... that doesn't have anything to do with this, but the word 'open' made you think of your many sexual problems, which *apparently* don't include a fear of putting your fingers on and/or in another woman's junk -- so maybe throwing caution to the wind, letting something happen with Avery, would make him think you're growing. Loosening up.
"Sure. I can be like you," you said on the day after Carol broke up with you, which was one month after Jack's divorce was finalized and directly after Jack told you about the latest woman he'd had a one night stand with and how it's good to have fun after a serious relationship, and you thought about how Avery was supposed to be that, something light and casual, and you assumed he'd probably find his next soulmate in a month or two. "I'm going to go out and have a bunch of fun. Lots of fun. I am a fun lady. Stop looking at me like that, I *am* fun."
Four days later, your thing with Avery started. You haven't been sleeping with anyone else, haven't been bed-hopping, but this is certainly not serious.)
Yeah.
The third worst thing about sleeping with Avery is that you never know what to say to her afterwards. Because you don't think she likes you too much. She's tolerated you, tolerated your friendship with Jack, but she never liked it. (You often want to ask her why. Since she wasn't worried about Jack wanting to have an ~affair~ with you because... why would she worry about that? Jack would never try to get you into bed, and even if he did, you would shut that business down real fast. Is your friendship with Jack really that weird that it's nearly unacceptable even if there's no possibility of funny business?) Your natural instinct is to ramble, but she asked you not to before the first time she took her clothes off in front of you, so you just stare at the ceiling before you finally mutter, "I'm gonna go."
The fourth worst thing about having sex with Avery is that sex, even good sex, seems pointless, especially when you're back in your own apartment, a message from Jack on your phone and the guilt creeping up again.
You let out a breath. Don't call him back.
And the fact that you can't talk to him about this? That's the fifth worst thing.
(Sometimes, it feels like the worst thing.)
END
Prompt: un_love_you #26. I can be like you.
Fandom: 30 Rock
Pairing: Liz/Avery
Spoilers: through 'Gentleman's Intermission'
Word Count: 837
Rating: PG-13
Table: Over here.
Notes: This is an odd bit of work, about a pairing that's not super popular, so if you pass on reading it, I will understand.
Summary: The worst thing about sleeping with your best friend's ex-wife...
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine. Please don't sue.
*
The worst thing about sleeping with your best friend's ex-wife/baby mama (that's not the right term if they were married, is it? Oh, who cares, she has a baby with him, she's the mama of his baby) is the guilt. Because this is terrible, right? Bros before hoes and you are his bro. A terrible bro. Someday you're going to be written into a book about the world's worst bros and then Jack will know what you did to him--
Wow. You are just not making any sense.
(For the record, the second worst thing about having sex with Avery is: discovering that a woman who's had a baby has a much better body than you do. And even though she had a c-section, you can't see a scar. Freaky. Maybe rich people have their babies born via telekinesis. Their lives are just floating chairs and bent spoons and babies appearing outside of their mother's body by pure magic.)
But maybe Jack would understand. He's done bad stuff, right? He's done inappropriate sex stuff. Maybe he'll be proud of you.
No. He won't.
(Here's what you think would happen: He'd stare off into space, wistfully make a weird comment about Avery, then non-wistfully let out an angry one before starting to craft his plan for revenge. Because that's what this is for her: revenge. Well, you assume that's the case. When she first came to your office and made out with you, you were wearing sweatpants and a hoodie and, hey, not the type of outfit that spontaneously creates huge amounts of horniness. Why was she even in your office, anyway? For revenge, is the answer. Your office usually only gets used for revenge when you're not in it, so that was different.)
The best thing about sleeping with Avery is the sex. Which is why you keep doing it. She's surprisingly good at lesbian sex for a straight woman -- and apparently Republican ladies don't use college as an excuse for girl-on-girl experimentation, and when she told you that she was all *pointed* about it, for some reason -- and you're surprisingly into lesbian sex for a straight woman, so... yeah.
Yeah.
Oh.
(During the sex, you stop thinking. During the sex, you're mindless, and maybe he would be proud. He seemed to consider the time he was juggling two women as proof of his superiority to you and your sourness, proof of his openness -- and on a sexual level, you've never been closed for Avery... that doesn't have anything to do with this, but the word 'open' made you think of your many sexual problems, which *apparently* don't include a fear of putting your fingers on and/or in another woman's junk -- so maybe throwing caution to the wind, letting something happen with Avery, would make him think you're growing. Loosening up.
"Sure. I can be like you," you said on the day after Carol broke up with you, which was one month after Jack's divorce was finalized and directly after Jack told you about the latest woman he'd had a one night stand with and how it's good to have fun after a serious relationship, and you thought about how Avery was supposed to be that, something light and casual, and you assumed he'd probably find his next soulmate in a month or two. "I'm going to go out and have a bunch of fun. Lots of fun. I am a fun lady. Stop looking at me like that, I *am* fun."
Four days later, your thing with Avery started. You haven't been sleeping with anyone else, haven't been bed-hopping, but this is certainly not serious.)
Yeah.
The third worst thing about sleeping with Avery is that you never know what to say to her afterwards. Because you don't think she likes you too much. She's tolerated you, tolerated your friendship with Jack, but she never liked it. (You often want to ask her why. Since she wasn't worried about Jack wanting to have an ~affair~ with you because... why would she worry about that? Jack would never try to get you into bed, and even if he did, you would shut that business down real fast. Is your friendship with Jack really that weird that it's nearly unacceptable even if there's no possibility of funny business?) Your natural instinct is to ramble, but she asked you not to before the first time she took her clothes off in front of you, so you just stare at the ceiling before you finally mutter, "I'm gonna go."
The fourth worst thing about having sex with Avery is that sex, even good sex, seems pointless, especially when you're back in your own apartment, a message from Jack on your phone and the guilt creeping up again.
You let out a breath. Don't call him back.
And the fact that you can't talk to him about this? That's the fifth worst thing.
(Sometimes, it feels like the worst thing.)
END