You Can't Say She's the Only One (30 Rock, Jack/Liz)
Title: You Can't Say She's the Only One
Prompt: un_love_you #30. Author's Choice.
Fandom: 30 Rock
Pairing: Jack/Liz, implied Jack/Elisa
Spoilers: through "Goodbye, My Friend"
Word Count: 586
Rating: R
Table: Over here.
Notes: This was meant to be 300 words; it got a little longer. I may continue this, but I have yet to decide where to go with it.
Summary: Jack doesn't know why he's doing this. (Companion to " The Wrong Place, The Wrong Time.")
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine. Please don't sue.
*
Jack considered the possibility he might be in love with Liz about a year ago, when he was on a plane, flying back to New York solely to make sure she was okay. But, shortly thereafter, he decided it only proved their friendship. And that proved he hadn't had a real friend in years, as there was no one else in the world he could imagine flying anywhere for. Still, from time to time, he wondered if he cared for her in a way deeper than friendship, but those moments didn't add up to certainty.
Now, Jack is positive he's in love with Elisa, and he's sleeping with Liz. It's not the first time he's cheated on someone, but it's the first time he's cheated on someone he's in love with, cheated with someone he loves. He knows it's wrong. He doesn't know why he's doing it; he might not be as certain as he thought, but he most strongly suspects he's seeking to sabotage himself, looking for a quick way out of the future he has committed himself to.
Because he is the one who started it. During one of their late-night drinking sessions, in which she lamented the end of her relationship with Drew and complained about Jenna's penchant for singing Janie Jimplin songs around the TGS set. He talked about Elisa, and while he did, he caught Liz gazing at him affectionately. It wasn't then that he kissed her but later, when he was a little drunker and much more acutely aware both of his loneliness and how much he cares for Lemon. It escalated from kissing very quickly, turned to Liz stretched out on his desk, legs wrapped around him. He was far from sober, but he remembers everything about it; her hips moving to meet his, her fingers digging into his arms and, after she'd moved to sit at the edge of the desk, his back. He remembers how many times he muttered Liz versus how many times he muttered Lemon. He remembers not thinking about Elisa at all until afterwards, when Liz said, "We really shouldn't have done that." He remembers how guilty that made him feel, and he remembers not saying anything in response. He remembers sitting alone on his couch after she'd left. He remembers mentally listing ways people could move past mistakes like this, and he remembers none of them making any sense in a real-life situation.
The next morning, she didn't bring their encounter up. He couldn't delude himself that she felt nothing about it, but he did wonder if everything could go back to normal. If they could pretend it had never happened.
But there was a second time, another occurrence he could blame on himself, and he didn't even finish his first drink before his mouth was on hers. And then a third time, a fourth, a fifth, a sixth, and now. Now, when he has his fingers between her legs and she's barely looking at him, and he thinks he's sabotaged this, too, his friendship with Liz, because they're not going to be the same. They haven't been the same.
"Look at me," he says.
She blinks, finally looks him in the eye. She's silent for several moments. "This has to be the last time."
Jack feels like he's losing something, though he supposes he already has. He places a soft kiss on her lips. "Okay," he says, and he's not sure he means it. He's not sure she means it.
She exhales. "Okay."
END
Prompt: un_love_you #30. Author's Choice.
Fandom: 30 Rock
Pairing: Jack/Liz, implied Jack/Elisa
Spoilers: through "Goodbye, My Friend"
Word Count: 586
Rating: R
Table: Over here.
Notes: This was meant to be 300 words; it got a little longer. I may continue this, but I have yet to decide where to go with it.
Summary: Jack doesn't know why he's doing this. (Companion to " The Wrong Place, The Wrong Time.")
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine. Please don't sue.
*
Jack considered the possibility he might be in love with Liz about a year ago, when he was on a plane, flying back to New York solely to make sure she was okay. But, shortly thereafter, he decided it only proved their friendship. And that proved he hadn't had a real friend in years, as there was no one else in the world he could imagine flying anywhere for. Still, from time to time, he wondered if he cared for her in a way deeper than friendship, but those moments didn't add up to certainty.
Now, Jack is positive he's in love with Elisa, and he's sleeping with Liz. It's not the first time he's cheated on someone, but it's the first time he's cheated on someone he's in love with, cheated with someone he loves. He knows it's wrong. He doesn't know why he's doing it; he might not be as certain as he thought, but he most strongly suspects he's seeking to sabotage himself, looking for a quick way out of the future he has committed himself to.
Because he is the one who started it. During one of their late-night drinking sessions, in which she lamented the end of her relationship with Drew and complained about Jenna's penchant for singing Janie Jimplin songs around the TGS set. He talked about Elisa, and while he did, he caught Liz gazing at him affectionately. It wasn't then that he kissed her but later, when he was a little drunker and much more acutely aware both of his loneliness and how much he cares for Lemon. It escalated from kissing very quickly, turned to Liz stretched out on his desk, legs wrapped around him. He was far from sober, but he remembers everything about it; her hips moving to meet his, her fingers digging into his arms and, after she'd moved to sit at the edge of the desk, his back. He remembers how many times he muttered Liz versus how many times he muttered Lemon. He remembers not thinking about Elisa at all until afterwards, when Liz said, "We really shouldn't have done that." He remembers how guilty that made him feel, and he remembers not saying anything in response. He remembers sitting alone on his couch after she'd left. He remembers mentally listing ways people could move past mistakes like this, and he remembers none of them making any sense in a real-life situation.
The next morning, she didn't bring their encounter up. He couldn't delude himself that she felt nothing about it, but he did wonder if everything could go back to normal. If they could pretend it had never happened.
But there was a second time, another occurrence he could blame on himself, and he didn't even finish his first drink before his mouth was on hers. And then a third time, a fourth, a fifth, a sixth, and now. Now, when he has his fingers between her legs and she's barely looking at him, and he thinks he's sabotaged this, too, his friendship with Liz, because they're not going to be the same. They haven't been the same.
"Look at me," he says.
She blinks, finally looks him in the eye. She's silent for several moments. "This has to be the last time."
Jack feels like he's losing something, though he supposes he already has. He places a soft kiss on her lips. "Okay," he says, and he's not sure he means it. He's not sure she means it.
She exhales. "Okay."
END