Summaries for Dummaries Pt. II
So a few days ago, I started the fic summary meme round II where you guys gave me titles of stories I haven't written, and I would write the summaries. They're all done now, and they are here for your reading pleasure :)
Snapes on a Plane
Harry Potter
Aurors Harry Potter and Dean Thomas are travelling incognito as muggles in search of Severus Snape, who has gone to ground in the States. En route to Detroit, their plane is attacked by the last and most horrible weapon developed by the Dark Lord: Hundreds of Snapeys, miniature monsters that are a crossbreed between flying monkeys and Snape.
An excerpt: "Detention, Potter!" the Snapeys all screeched as they swooped down on Harry and Dean, biting and greasy.
"Harry, kill me now!" Dean shouted as one Snapey took six thousand points from Gryffindor. "Please!"
When Harry met Valentina (and Bartholomew).
Anita Blake/Harry Potter Inevitable outtake
In a wacky comedy of mistaken identities, Harry Potter's proximity to the child vampires Valentina and Bartholomew sets off the child magic detectors in the American Department of Magical Security. Two owls soon arrive in St. Louis with acceptance letters for Valentina and Bartholomew to the Salem Institute of Magical Education. Now, Harry and Anita must race against time to get the child vampires back to St. Louis before they turn eat half the student body!
_Between Lumos and Star_
A Harry Potter/Babylon 5 crossover Minbari and centaurs, maybe?
While on Earth after the end of the war, Delenn and Sheridan are en route to a meeting in London when their transport breaks down near the last Forest preserve in Europe. However, when the sky goes dark and strange half-human creatures start to come out of the woods, with odd stories of prophecy and stars, Sheridan starts to wonder if the accident was an accident after all...
(Insert name here), Why are you so awesome?
Anita Blake
Jason, bored beyond belief as Jean-Claude plans madly for an upcoming vampire event, decides to put his new video camera to good use. He interviews his lycanthropic friends and acquaintances, asking them to explain why someone else is totally cool. He strikes gold when he gets mostly everyone to talk candidly about Anita.
Of course, Jason will probably have to burn the tape before Anita finds out and kills him, but still.
Kitties at play
Anita Blake/Harry Potter crossover
Hermione's transformation into a cat when she was twelve has not left her completely unscarred. When she decides to go to St. Louis for a magical conference, she meets a most amazing wereleopard. The path of true love is never easy, but for Cherry, Hermione will do anything...
Spiked Coffee
Stargate SG1
The SGC falls prey to a sinister plot by the NID: The base's coffee supply is contaminated by mind-controlling drugs. Now it's up to SG1, which lives off Daniel's secret stash of Blue Mountain Shade-Grown Organic Colombian, to save the Milky Way galaxy from utter chaos!
Oh Dear, I think I've Lost It
Harry Potter
Harry Potter wakes up one morning. In Tonks's bed. To be told they're married and have seven children. Having no idea what the lovely Auror is talking about, Harry sets out to discover the truth of it he has truly gone mad... but what he discovers might destroy the Wizarding World from within!
The Ballad of Nathaniel's Pants
Anita Blake
In one of Jean-Claude's less brilliant schemes, the Master is expanding the line-up at Guilty Pleasures to include live musical acts. Much to Nathaniel's horror, he discovers that the lead singer of the opening band is Anita's bisexual ex-fiancé. Not only does Nathaniel have to worry about Anita falling back in love with the punked-out singer/songwriter/vacuum salesman, but the singer seems to have developed a thing for getting into Nathaniel's pants...
(Contains adult themes, ice creams, girly screams)
Lost and Found
Anita Blake (or another Anita Blake character) raises Harry Potter after Harry does some accidental magic at Stonehenge.
Ten years after Voldemort’s magical demise at Stonehenge, Anita Blake is hired by the British government to deal with the mass graveyard at Stonehenge. After sorting out all but two of the skeletons, Anita raises someone who's not exactly your typical zombie. Case in point: He wasn't really dead.
Now, Harry Potter, raised from a decade-long magical hibernation, has to convince the annoyingly short necromancer that no, she can't really raise Voldemort from the dead. And no, he can't say why. But trust him, it would just be really, truly bad.
The One that didn't quite get away
Anita Blake/Pirates of the Caribbean crossover
Jean-Claude receives a letter from the Master of Miami, calling in a 90-year-old favor. Now, Jean-Claude has to prepare for the arrival of one of the last remaining Vampire Pirates from the Caribbean: Captain Jack Sparrow.
Demons? They're like dementors, right?
Anita Blake/Harry Potter Inevitable AU
Three years after Voldemort's death, Harry shows up on Anita's doorstep, rucksack in hand. He says it's for a vacation, but three months later, he hasn't made any signs of leaving. In an effort to get his ass in gear, Anita takes Harry on a quick hunt for a magical felon... only "quick" turns into "hellish, long and full of demon bits". But at least Harry's out of the house.
The How-To Guide for Wraiths on a Diet
BtVS/SGA, Must include Buffy and Sheppard
When Buffy "dies" in Glory's portal, she is transported bodily to the Pegasus Galaxy, and lands in a dead city under the sea. She manages to survive for a few days in the dark until that large funky ring in the top floor gets all flashy and starts spitting out Marines.
Now the Slayer's stuck in an underwater city with a bunch of Initiative wanna-bes and geeks who keep calling her "Ancient", which so isn't fair considering she's younger and prettier than all of them. And what the hell's with the space vampires that look like Marilyn Manson fanboys?
Includes snarky!Shepp, annoyed!Elizabeth, and Buffy/McKay.
Kiss and Tell
Anita Blake
Richard does not like Asher. Asher decides to figure out why, if only for the simple reason that he enjoys tormenting Jean-Claude’s wolf. What he does not expect is what happens when he accidentally rolls Richard. It seems that Richard's not only mad that Asher is in Anita's bed...
Breaking the Rules at the Lost and Found
Anita Blake/CSI crossover
While Anita and Jean-Claude visit the Master of Las Vegas, a rash of lycanthropic killings hit Las Vegas, and the LVPD calls in Anita as a consulting expert. When the next murder happens in a casino's lost and found department, Anita finds herself in a race against time to stop the police from arresting an innocent wereduck! (Anita/Grissom friendship, Jason/Nick sexiness)
Obligation and Freedom
Anita Blake
Anita knows Jean-Claude is adamant that he will not enslave his people. But what she does not know is how close he came to enslaving Anita when she came to him the first time. As her powers grow, so do his... until he wonders if one day, he will lose his freedom to ma petite, or if he will have to take her free will from her, destroying them both in the process.
Private Matters
Harry Potter/Anita Blake Inevitable prequel
A month after Harry's birth, Lily Potter cast a family tree spell for her new baby boy. What she didn't expect to find was that Bill Evans wasn't her father at all. Now Lily must deal with the news that her real father was a vampire named Damian, a childe of a night hag. What can this mean for her and her son? And how can she tell James?
Ev'ry Body, Hit the Roof!
AB vs. Gravity
St. Louis is hit with a rash of burglaries, in which the perps use magic to lift the stores' employees onto the ceiling. Anita must partner with Dr. Mary-Sue McKay, a brilliant and beautiful physicist/vampire hunter/lycanthrope, to thwart the magical felon's dastardly plot before they rob an outdoor hotdog stand!
Stars in Their Eyes
Highlander/Anita Blake crossover
Methos pretends he doesn't pay attention to the signs and portents, but when the stars align once again, as they were when Darkness ruled the land, he listens. What he hears puts him in St. Louis at the doorstep of the newly crowned vampire sourde de sang, the incubus Jean-Claude, and his human servant, a necromancer like none that has walked the earth in four thousand years. What Methos has to offer them in the fight against the Mother of All Darkness might just change the fate of all vampires!
Omens
Due South/CSI crossover
While on a conference in Chicago, Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows are called in by the Chicago PD to help in a murder case with all the hallmarks of the occult. For reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture, they are aided in the investigation by Dr. Ray Vecchio and RCMP Corporal Benton Fraser. The only thing is, Frasier has seen this sort of death before, deep in the Canadian Arctic...
Princess of Darkness
Anita Blake/Harry Potter crossover
Anita tries to use Raina's munin to help her infiltrate Voldemort's forces, and finds it... dangerously seductive. Raina likes it dangerous, but she's never come across anything quite as interesting as Lucius Malfoy. Anita wants to stop Voldemort to help Harry, while Raina thinks Anita's aiming too low. They shouldn't just stop Voldemort. They should take his place. After all, darkness calls to darkness.
All the King's Men
Anita Blake/Harry Potter Inevitable AU
Not everybody survived the war. Harry is beginning to think that Luna will never recover from what Greyback did to her. With the Ministry breathing down their necks to lock Luna away before her first transformation, Harry and Ginny convince Luna's father that there can be a safe place for Luna in St. Louis. Now, Harry and Ginny and Luna are learning what it truly means to be Wolf.
A Funny Thing Happened of the Way to the Circus Today...
Anita Blake/Harry Potter Inevitable outtake
In which Harry and Jason try to explain why they both ended up at Jean-Claude's cocktail party dressed in nothing but Bermuda shorts and chocolate body paint. Anita is, to borrow a phrase, pissed like nobody's business.
In other news, fic is being worked on. I had to backtrack about a thousand words in one fic because I went in the wrong direction. So sad.
Snapes on a Plane
Harry Potter
Aurors Harry Potter and Dean Thomas are travelling incognito as muggles in search of Severus Snape, who has gone to ground in the States. En route to Detroit, their plane is attacked by the last and most horrible weapon developed by the Dark Lord: Hundreds of Snapeys, miniature monsters that are a crossbreed between flying monkeys and Snape.
An excerpt: "Detention, Potter!" the Snapeys all screeched as they swooped down on Harry and Dean, biting and greasy.
"Harry, kill me now!" Dean shouted as one Snapey took six thousand points from Gryffindor. "Please!"
When Harry met Valentina (and Bartholomew).
Anita Blake/Harry Potter Inevitable outtake
In a wacky comedy of mistaken identities, Harry Potter's proximity to the child vampires Valentina and Bartholomew sets off the child magic detectors in the American Department of Magical Security. Two owls soon arrive in St. Louis with acceptance letters for Valentina and Bartholomew to the Salem Institute of Magical Education. Now, Harry and Anita must race against time to get the child vampires back to St. Louis before they turn eat half the student body!
_Between Lumos and Star_
A Harry Potter/Babylon 5 crossover Minbari and centaurs, maybe?
While on Earth after the end of the war, Delenn and Sheridan are en route to a meeting in London when their transport breaks down near the last Forest preserve in Europe. However, when the sky goes dark and strange half-human creatures start to come out of the woods, with odd stories of prophecy and stars, Sheridan starts to wonder if the accident was an accident after all...
(Insert name here), Why are you so awesome?
Anita Blake
Jason, bored beyond belief as Jean-Claude plans madly for an upcoming vampire event, decides to put his new video camera to good use. He interviews his lycanthropic friends and acquaintances, asking them to explain why someone else is totally cool. He strikes gold when he gets mostly everyone to talk candidly about Anita.
Of course, Jason will probably have to burn the tape before Anita finds out and kills him, but still.
Kitties at play
Anita Blake/Harry Potter crossover
Hermione's transformation into a cat when she was twelve has not left her completely unscarred. When she decides to go to St. Louis for a magical conference, she meets a most amazing wereleopard. The path of true love is never easy, but for Cherry, Hermione will do anything...
Spiked Coffee
Stargate SG1
The SGC falls prey to a sinister plot by the NID: The base's coffee supply is contaminated by mind-controlling drugs. Now it's up to SG1, which lives off Daniel's secret stash of Blue Mountain Shade-Grown Organic Colombian, to save the Milky Way galaxy from utter chaos!
Oh Dear, I think I've Lost It
Harry Potter
Harry Potter wakes up one morning. In Tonks's bed. To be told they're married and have seven children. Having no idea what the lovely Auror is talking about, Harry sets out to discover the truth of it he has truly gone mad... but what he discovers might destroy the Wizarding World from within!
The Ballad of Nathaniel's Pants
Anita Blake
In one of Jean-Claude's less brilliant schemes, the Master is expanding the line-up at Guilty Pleasures to include live musical acts. Much to Nathaniel's horror, he discovers that the lead singer of the opening band is Anita's bisexual ex-fiancé. Not only does Nathaniel have to worry about Anita falling back in love with the punked-out singer/songwriter/vacuum salesman, but the singer seems to have developed a thing for getting into Nathaniel's pants...
(Contains adult themes, ice creams, girly screams)
Lost and Found
Anita Blake (or another Anita Blake character) raises Harry Potter after Harry does some accidental magic at Stonehenge.
Ten years after Voldemort’s magical demise at Stonehenge, Anita Blake is hired by the British government to deal with the mass graveyard at Stonehenge. After sorting out all but two of the skeletons, Anita raises someone who's not exactly your typical zombie. Case in point: He wasn't really dead.
Now, Harry Potter, raised from a decade-long magical hibernation, has to convince the annoyingly short necromancer that no, she can't really raise Voldemort from the dead. And no, he can't say why. But trust him, it would just be really, truly bad.
The One that didn't quite get away
Anita Blake/Pirates of the Caribbean crossover
Jean-Claude receives a letter from the Master of Miami, calling in a 90-year-old favor. Now, Jean-Claude has to prepare for the arrival of one of the last remaining Vampire Pirates from the Caribbean: Captain Jack Sparrow.
Demons? They're like dementors, right?
Anita Blake/Harry Potter Inevitable AU
Three years after Voldemort's death, Harry shows up on Anita's doorstep, rucksack in hand. He says it's for a vacation, but three months later, he hasn't made any signs of leaving. In an effort to get his ass in gear, Anita takes Harry on a quick hunt for a magical felon... only "quick" turns into "hellish, long and full of demon bits". But at least Harry's out of the house.
The How-To Guide for Wraiths on a Diet
BtVS/SGA, Must include Buffy and Sheppard
When Buffy "dies" in Glory's portal, she is transported bodily to the Pegasus Galaxy, and lands in a dead city under the sea. She manages to survive for a few days in the dark until that large funky ring in the top floor gets all flashy and starts spitting out Marines.
Now the Slayer's stuck in an underwater city with a bunch of Initiative wanna-bes and geeks who keep calling her "Ancient", which so isn't fair considering she's younger and prettier than all of them. And what the hell's with the space vampires that look like Marilyn Manson fanboys?
Includes snarky!Shepp, annoyed!Elizabeth, and Buffy/McKay.
Kiss and Tell
Anita Blake
Richard does not like Asher. Asher decides to figure out why, if only for the simple reason that he enjoys tormenting Jean-Claude’s wolf. What he does not expect is what happens when he accidentally rolls Richard. It seems that Richard's not only mad that Asher is in Anita's bed...
Breaking the Rules at the Lost and Found
Anita Blake/CSI crossover
While Anita and Jean-Claude visit the Master of Las Vegas, a rash of lycanthropic killings hit Las Vegas, and the LVPD calls in Anita as a consulting expert. When the next murder happens in a casino's lost and found department, Anita finds herself in a race against time to stop the police from arresting an innocent wereduck! (Anita/Grissom friendship, Jason/Nick sexiness)
Obligation and Freedom
Anita Blake
Anita knows Jean-Claude is adamant that he will not enslave his people. But what she does not know is how close he came to enslaving Anita when she came to him the first time. As her powers grow, so do his... until he wonders if one day, he will lose his freedom to ma petite, or if he will have to take her free will from her, destroying them both in the process.
Private Matters
Harry Potter/Anita Blake Inevitable prequel
A month after Harry's birth, Lily Potter cast a family tree spell for her new baby boy. What she didn't expect to find was that Bill Evans wasn't her father at all. Now Lily must deal with the news that her real father was a vampire named Damian, a childe of a night hag. What can this mean for her and her son? And how can she tell James?
Ev'ry Body, Hit the Roof!
AB vs. Gravity
St. Louis is hit with a rash of burglaries, in which the perps use magic to lift the stores' employees onto the ceiling. Anita must partner with Dr. Mary-Sue McKay, a brilliant and beautiful physicist/vampire hunter/lycanthrope, to thwart the magical felon's dastardly plot before they rob an outdoor hotdog stand!
Stars in Their Eyes
Highlander/Anita Blake crossover
Methos pretends he doesn't pay attention to the signs and portents, but when the stars align once again, as they were when Darkness ruled the land, he listens. What he hears puts him in St. Louis at the doorstep of the newly crowned vampire sourde de sang, the incubus Jean-Claude, and his human servant, a necromancer like none that has walked the earth in four thousand years. What Methos has to offer them in the fight against the Mother of All Darkness might just change the fate of all vampires!
Omens
Due South/CSI crossover
While on a conference in Chicago, Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows are called in by the Chicago PD to help in a murder case with all the hallmarks of the occult. For reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture, they are aided in the investigation by Dr. Ray Vecchio and RCMP Corporal Benton Fraser. The only thing is, Frasier has seen this sort of death before, deep in the Canadian Arctic...
Princess of Darkness
Anita Blake/Harry Potter crossover
Anita tries to use Raina's munin to help her infiltrate Voldemort's forces, and finds it... dangerously seductive. Raina likes it dangerous, but she's never come across anything quite as interesting as Lucius Malfoy. Anita wants to stop Voldemort to help Harry, while Raina thinks Anita's aiming too low. They shouldn't just stop Voldemort. They should take his place. After all, darkness calls to darkness.
All the King's Men
Anita Blake/Harry Potter Inevitable AU
Not everybody survived the war. Harry is beginning to think that Luna will never recover from what Greyback did to her. With the Ministry breathing down their necks to lock Luna away before her first transformation, Harry and Ginny convince Luna's father that there can be a safe place for Luna in St. Louis. Now, Harry and Ginny and Luna are learning what it truly means to be Wolf.
A Funny Thing Happened of the Way to the Circus Today...
Anita Blake/Harry Potter Inevitable outtake
In which Harry and Jason try to explain why they both ended up at Jean-Claude's cocktail party dressed in nothing but Bermuda shorts and chocolate body paint. Anita is, to borrow a phrase, pissed like nobody's business.
In other news, fic is being worked on. I had to backtrack about a thousand words in one fic because I went in the wrong direction. So sad.