S3 - FOR GREEKHOOP

[missmonkeh]

Title: We Two Alone
Pairings:  Ocelot/BB
Rated: somewhat NSFW (mild violence, implied sex)
Summary:  Ancient Greece AU, set just prior to the Sack of Troy. Like Achilles and Patroclus, they fight for each other above all things.
Warnings:  The violence is really quite mild but it's there. Shaky knowledge of Achaean warfare and mangling of the Iliad.

Comments

[greekhoop]

OMG, I love it. Thank you so much for this!

I'm going to be back to give you a proper reveiw, but right now it's almost 3:30 in the morning so I think I'd better sleep on it. I just wanted to let you know that I was all over this.

[missmonkeh]

Yay, I'm so happy you enjoyed it! :D

[greekhoop]

And I'm back!

I think this was even more marvelous on the second read-through. I love the characterization; the way Adam is naive in everything but battle, and the way John is simultaneously reverent and dismissive when he talks about Achilles and Patrocles.

Some of the language is delightfully Homeric, too. This especially jumped out at me:

He is about to press him on the matter when there is a great din, a cacophony of voices and water roaring like Scylla come to life as the ships reach shore, and their time here is up.

Along with the elaborate, stylized descriptions of violence.

And there's something so hot about the understated ending. Like, it's more erotic because there's so little description.

Thank you again, so much. This is exactly what I was hoping for.

[missmonkeh]

I'm so glad the language worked. I struggled with that for the longest time, trying to temper it so it still felt somewhat Homeric. Glad I could do your prompt justice, it was a wonderful idea :)

[athenemiranda]

This is beautiful and (so literally) epic. I agree, the language brings all of the wonderful - the Homeric tone and the ideas they have about war. Your scene-setting is great, the atmosphere is great, and I completely love Ocelot's arrogance and cynicism and passion. I think the very Greek student/teacher take on the age gap at the end is beautiful too. I am weirdly fascinated that it's Ocelot rather than BB who is playing Achilles, but it works so well plotwise...

[missmonkeh]

I thought really hard about that, and re-read The Iliad, and although at first BB was my Achilles, the more I read the more I realised that Ocelot is Achilles. He's this young, brash warrior who knows how good he is, whose temperament is kept in check by the older, arguably wiser Patroclus (or BB) And while Ocelot isn't immortal, he seems to have few weaknesses - the loss of his arm could be seen as a parallel to Achilles' heel, in a way. But mainly, it was the way Achilles fought to avenge Patroclus that swung it for me.

Oops. Well, anyway. I'm really glad you enjoyed this, and that the language was right. That was what gave me the most grief, I think, getting the tone right. So I'm pleased it worked :)

[oudeteron]

This is epic (in more ways than one); I'm glad you picked this prompt to write! Their dynamic just shines through. I love the format as well since it's suitably cyclical, and WHITE-RED-BLACK COLOUR SCHEME FUCK YES. That's legit Homeric style right there.

Awesome job!

[missmonkeh]

I had to, didn't I? It was perfect. Such a challenge to write though, but worth it in the end :D