Title: The Reason Why Erik is Banned from the Kitchen and All Cooking Stores
Rating: PG
Word Count: 330
Pairings/Characters: Erik Lensherr (Magneto), Charles Xavier, Raven Darkholme (Mystique), Emma Frost
Genre: Crack/humor
Summary: Erik was experiencing something he hadn't felt in years: boredom. Written at the urging of
heeroluva, and inspired by
this.
Italicized dialogue indicates telepathy.
For years, Erik has always been on the go, with never enough time to stop and smell the roses. To be honest, this is the first time that he’s been able to spend more than a few days in a single place, and while assisting Charles in training the kids helped keep him occupied, it wasn’t enough.
For the first time since his parents had died, Erik was bored.
This was…something to worry about.
-----
Charles rummaged through the kitchen cabinets, frowning. It was time to make lunch, but he wasn’t finding most of their cooking utensils, including all of the pots or pans, anywhere. He couldn’t make an appropriate meal for everyone without the proper cookware, and sandwiches weren’t nearly enough for them. They burned more calories by constantly practicing their abilities, and he needed to mirror that with their food intake, but not when he didn’t have anything to cook food with.
-----
Agnes Jones stared at the cookware aisle and shook her head in disbelief. “He bought everything? Every pot, every pan, everything?”
Her coworker shrugged. “Maybe he’s just really bad in the kitchen, and needs extras?”
-----
“Charles, I think you should come and see this,” Raven told Charles mentally. “We’re outside.”
Charles left the attic, where he had been searching in vain for spare cooking utensils, and walked outside the mansion only to stop and stare at the sight before him.
Well, he knew where all the cookware had gone, at least. Erik had managed to find at least several tons of pots, pans, and other metal cooking utensils, and had then proceeded to pile them all together into some sort of odd sculpture that vaguely resembled a mushroom cloud.
“Erik…what are you doing?”
The other man shrugged. “I was bored.”
-----
Emma Frost frowned as she looked in the kitchen cabinets for their cooking utensils. “Mystique, dear, do you know where all of our pots and pans are?”
“Oh, shit.”
Magneto was bored again.