There was definitely an element of mystery/suspense here! It's a very difficult genre to incorporate with this particular set of prompts, but a mystery's a mystery no matter how small, and you've done a great job. I do believe this may be one of very few, if not the only, fic featuring Florean Fortescue as a major character, so hats off to you for that. You made great use of him.
Poor Remus, worrying himself to an ulcer and letting his ice cream melt. I think Tonks' greeting should make him feel more positive about how the first date will go.
Very good use of the prompts, and it does work in the given genre. It's nicely written, I particularly like the use of the quote, and using Florean is an excellent touch.
I think I agree with mrstater, it would be very nice to see Remus' reaction to Tonks' words. When he realises that she really does want to go out with him, and how wonderful that is.
I love how very "Remus" and "Tonks" this feels. It's not just that they aren't OOC, but they are spectacularly in character. JKR has said and shown repeatedly that Remus' greatest weakness just might be his desire to be liked, which makes it very easy to see that his second greatest fear would be that someone (or everyone) won't like him. And then there is Tonks showing up all bright and cheerful.
Oh nice, look at that. A couple snogging in front of Gringotts. I really want to know if that couple was Bill and Fleur and he just didn't recognize them.
"I do not go on thoughts of 'what-if', I go on thoughts of 'what-now'." This line is SO very Remus, and I loved it. Clever you!
Lovely building of the tension until he's in a desperate state. And how wonderful that Florean is there offering love advice, like a bartender. And even though you didn't USE the Dumbledore quote, you had Remus living it. He chose to ask the girl out, he chose to wait for her despite his terrible anxiety that she wouldn't show up, he chose to take a chance on a different future for himself. Well done!
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Poor Remus, worrying himself to an ulcer and letting his ice cream melt. I think Tonks' greeting should make him feel more positive about how the first date will go.
Very nice work.
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I think I agree with mrstater, it would be very nice to see Remus' reaction to Tonks' words. When he realises that she really does want to go out with him, and how wonderful that is.
Well done!
Reply
Oh nice, look at that. A couple snogging in front of Gringotts.
I really want to know if that couple was Bill and Fleur and he just didn't recognize them.
Reply
Lovely building of the tension until he's in a desperate state. And how wonderful that Florean is there offering love advice, like a bartender. And even though you didn't USE the Dumbledore quote, you had Remus living it. He chose to ask the girl out, he chose to wait for her despite his terrible anxiety that she wouldn't show up, he chose to take a chance on a different future for himself. Well done!
Reply
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