Changes

[godricgal]

Title: Changes
Author: godricgal
Rating and Warnings PG-13, for sexual references
Word Count 1,924
Prompts: Thestrals, scratch, Sirius, Drama
Summary: The night before Dumbledore's funeral, Tonks asks Remus a question that provokes many thoughts.
Author's Notes: I'm very hesitant about posting this fic, the prompt uses are minimal, at best. It's unpolished

Comments

[peverell]

This is your idea of unpolished, unfinished un-everything? Crickey! I thought it was lovely, very touching and some of the phrases you used-- 'bunch of old stuffers', 'Sirius would have found just the right button to push', 'Sirius... was not a man to hide his loyalties or affection', 'For what other man could he trust to do so' --rang very deep tones of 'rightness' for me.

I know what I mean but I can't rightly express it so I'm shutting up now.

Xia

[godricgal]

Thank you very much! Thanks for picking out phrases, it's always nice to know that a particular bit has stood out. I'm glad it didn't come across as unfinished. The limited time I had to spend on this, due to work commitments, meant that it's quite a watered down version of what I'd intended, so it feels unfinished to me.

Anyway, thank you for reading and taking the time to comment!

[peverell]

Pleasure! I could have picked out many more bits that stood out for me -- you have a very expressive turn of phrase.

The Limited time I had to spend on this, due to work commitments, meant that it's quite a watered down version of what I'd intended, so it feels unfinished to me. Oh, I know that one! Know it well. ;-) :lol:

Xia

[lady_bracknell]

I really liked the way you used the thestrals in this, how it's that that makes Remus realise that there's some things she needs him to help her with. That was a really great idea, and I loved the quiet intimacy you gave them, too.

Nicely done.

[godricgal]

Thank you. The thestrals scene was always a very strong image for me, even if, as mrstater can attest, I changed my mind forty-two million times about when it wanted to crop up!

Thanks for commenting. :)

[mrstater]

I know you're not totally happy with this, but I can't say enough how much loveliness there is here. Quiet is your signature, and always something I love about and look forward to in your work. You hit on really profound aspects of R/T and state them very beautifully in the midst of these still, intimate scenes. This time, the part that stood out to me was this:

He's made a lot of discoveries in the last few days; it's not presumptuous to acknowledge that she loves him, it's not big headed to know that he pleases her. He knows that to tell her he believes she needs him will not be taken as a perception of weakness.

Really wonderful thoughts here, and so very key for Remus in regaining his lost sense of dignity. And to realize it in bed, after lovemaking, when they're still and quiet, is perfect.

And then of course your writing itself is always pretty and atypical: He is just about to succumb to the tempting lure of sleep when a thought crests strikes me as a particularly lovely image for the way thoughts occur

[godricgal]

Thank you very much. I do like the idea of this fic, I just wish I'd had the time to flesh it out properly.

I'm happy you picked out that paragraph, it does seem to me that those feelings would be central to Remus' path of healing during their reconciliation, after having his confidence so completely knocked during his mission.

Thank you for your very lovely comments, it's very much appreciated.

And one of these days, I'll shock you and write an explosive R/T argument. ;)

[godricgal]

Thank you!

I do think Dumbledore would definitely want Tonks to wear her pink hair for his funeral. It's like Harry thinking about Dumbledore choice of a few words.

[bratanimus]

Oh lovely. Perfect that this conversation should happen after lovemaking. Or rather, that the lovemaking would need to happen first, to get past the initial barrier. I really liked that it was Remus' spying Tonks with a Thestral that makes him realize what he's missed, what he should have been there for. It's the big moments, good and bad, and everything in between, that draws people together; and he's finally realized it. And he's realized that she had to experience that first milestone alone, her first experience of death, and of course he'd hate that he wasn't there for her. *sniffle*

Nice tone of stillness in this piece. Nothing is hurried or rushed. It matches the afterglow of their physical union.

Just wonderful. And the last line was perfect.

[godricgal]

Thank you very much, Lauren. The image of Remus finding Tonks with the Thestral was the building blocks for this fic. I thought a visual representation of what he's missed out on might be interesting to explore, and something a bit different, too. I'm very glad you liked it, and thanks, as well, for mentioning the last line, as I wasn't sure if it needed a bit more.