Memorial

[jncar]

Title: Memorial
Author: jncar
Rating & Warnings: PG-13/R, violence, gore, swearing, multiple character deaths
Prompts: Gubraithian fire; Mad-Eye, Ron, Bellatrix; Strip; Mystery/Suspense
Word Count: 7,897
Summary: After receiving a cryptic warning from Snape and discovering that Harry and several of his friends have gone missing, Remus must lead the

Comments

[bratanimus]

Oh my god. This was amazing, haunting, heartbreaking, gorgeous.

I especially liked There was nothing but the sound of their own footsteps slapping in the puddles, the pattering noise of the falling rain, and the beckoning glow of the swirling golden flame.You've juxtaposed the mundane sounds of the environment with the horrific scene into which they are walking. It's true when one is in the midst of a horror that somehow the weirdest things make themselves known, like the sounds of footsteps, so familiar and so strange all at once. The whole building of suspense and tension as they made their way, bravely and fearfuly, toward the scene of the final battle, was perfect

[jncar]

Thank you so very much!

It's not every day that someone calls my writing "gorgeous," so it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. :)

I'm glad you liked my choice of details, and I appreciate your comment about getting Remus's pov right.

Thanks for the lovely review.

[molly_coddles]

Fantastically done! Gripping all the way through, and heartbreaking.
The use of the eternal flame as a prompt reminds me of Kennedy's tomb. Fitting, and just so sad.
Excellent job!

[jncar]

The use of the eternal flame as a prompt reminds me of Kennedy's tomb.

When I looked it up on the Lexicon, that was one of the first things that I thought of. So then I had to sit down and think "Hmmm... how do I work that into a mystery/suspense?"

I'm glad you liked what I came up with!

[jncar]

I'm so happy to hear that the suspense worked out well - I was nervous about it.

It seems that a lot of fans don't quite get that these are teenagers, and that they becoming adults far too quickly

I agree. In real life, even people who know that they might have to kill in the line of duty like police officers and soldiers have a hard time dealing with it, so I'm sure it would be doubly traumatic for a teenager. I don't think that any of the characters in this universe would be able to take killing lightly.

Thank you for the review! :)

[phe_o]

God, what an amazing, heartbreaking story. There wasn't a second where I wasn't literally covered in goosebumps. Wow... simply amazing, and haunting. you've got me anticipating DH even more now! The action and suspense is incredible, and each time you come upon a new bit of scene your heart is in your throat, wondering what this one will be... simply amazing. This left me dizzy.

[jncar]

I'm glad to hear that the suspense and the emotions all worked so well. I really appreciate it.

Thanks for reviewing! :)

[mrstater]

Sorry it's taken me so long to get around to reviewing this! Re-reading's nice, though. :)

I'll never understand how you pull off such ambitious, plotty pieces in such short spaces of time. This is a totally believable DH-era fic, and I think another reviewer pointed out how detached the Order is, and that's exactly what struck me, too, as feeling so like what could be the Order's perspective on what we read Harry's POV on in the book. Really, really well done.

My personal favorite thing is the way you bookended this piece with the theme of nakedness:

Ever since Dumbledore’s death last year, Remus had felt as if he’d been stripped and left naked in the midst of a raging blizzard. And if something were to happen to Harry, he was sure that the blizzard would bury him alive. He couldn’t let that happen.

and here

Maybe things would feel different tomorrow. Maybe he wouldn’t feel so lost-so naked. Maybe tomorrow he would be able to make sense of things.It's a very apt metaphor, I think, one because there's always that very

[jncar]

Thanks for taking the time to come back and review!

I'm constantly surprised by how plot driven my writing can be sometimes, because in my reading I generally prefer things that are character driven. One of the writers who I think has influenced my work the most is Lois McMaster Bujold, and what I respect about her work is that she comes up with wonderful, intricate, convoluted plots but manages to make the plots flow organically from who her characters are, rather than having her characters as mere chess pieces that are moved around by the plot (I hate books like that!). That's the kind of writing that I aspire to create.

And I really appreciate you complimenting the whole "nakedness" thing. I was having a really hard time working my verb prompt (strip) in to the story, and that was my solution. I'm really happy to hear that you think it worked so well. :)

Thanks again for the lovely review.