Christmas Wishes

Dec 24, 2006 23:58


Title: Christmas Wishes
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angst, patriot_jackie, christmas moon fic advent

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Comments 16

devonwood December 25 2006, 20:58:09 UTC
The Disney Christmas trees were one of the first things I thought of when you mentioned the tree, I guess since I live in Florida. Every time I see them, I think I feel shorter and shorter. :D

I loved all of the internal monologue, and there wasn't really a need for external conversation at all. The idea of Ted Tonks's fable about Christmas Lights was genious, and I can just imagine a tiny Tonks listening to him in awe as he tells the story.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

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fantasticjackie December 27 2006, 17:11:15 UTC
My favorite Disney tree has to be the one at Epcot, thus the choice of the soft blue light surrounding the tree in this story. :) - Though I do have a soft spot for the tree at Animal Kingdom.

Thanks! I was a little nervous about the lack of any interaction whatsoever in this story.

The idea for the Christmas lights is actually the musings of my 9-year-old self. My 4th grade teacher had just taught us about symbolism, and she told us that you could find it in anything. Being as impressionalbe as I was, I began to look for symbolism in everything, and that was what I decided had to be true for Christmas lights. :) I was quite the little nerd. XD

Thanks for your feedback! :) I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Considering it's past Christmas, I hope yours was merry and Happy New Year! :)

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godricgal December 26 2006, 00:30:14 UTC
I think you've made a great use of internal monologue here. The feelings expressed thoughout ring true and you can really feel Tonks' emotions.

Merry Christmas!

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fantasticjackie December 27 2006, 17:16:21 UTC
Thankies!

For how short this was, it took a long time to write, but I'm glad it paid off!

Don't y'all use Happy Christmas over there? ;) I hope yours was awesome and happy New Year!

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scarlett71177 December 26 2006, 04:43:57 UTC
Well done, I really liked the part about Tonks not forcing things and letting Remus come to her. It was lovely.

Amy

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fantasticjackie December 27 2006, 17:20:24 UTC
Thank you! :)

I figured that Tonks would have a strong desire to see him - and even join the party, though I didn't go into that - when he was so close, but would have made the decision that if anyone was to go to anyone, she wouldn't be the one going.

Happy New Year! =D

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mrstater December 26 2006, 20:04:30 UTC
So lovely to come back from Christmas with the family to all this great R/T fic to read.

I think you did an excellent job on this internal monologue! It's really difficult to sustain for that long, but really, you found Tonks' inner voice and kept it up amid the overall image.

I think my favorite part of this was the parallel between what Tonks does with keeping her personal problems from her parents with what Remus is doing to her. It is different, because she has to be secretive about the Order -- but at the same time, Tonks doesn't need to be alone anymore than Remus does. Very well done.

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fantasticjackie December 27 2006, 17:39:01 UTC
Well, I have undoubtedly improved from all the reading I've done and questions I asked. I wouldn't have even attempted this without your help. Thank you so!much. :)

That had to be one of the hardest parts to write because I couldn't figure out what I was thinking. - How to put it into words. @_@ I still don't think I hit it quite perfectly, though it's infinetly better than what I originally had there. I'm glad to see that it came through well even without being spot on.

And I only cheated once!

He had to come to her. She couldn’t force the issue.

Tonks noticed that her legs felt leaden, heavy, and frozen; …

Ugh.. Mostly, it was because I realized that she was still stopped on the sidewalk, but I didn't develop that thought very well at all.

Thankies, though! :) I'm pleased to know that it worked well enough to be enjoyable, and I shall continue to work on improving!

Happy New Year! :)

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kerrymdb December 27 2006, 09:40:56 UTC
Very nice. I'm glad that you were able to balance the drama and angst with a little bit of funny (with Tonks' parents and the lights). I could just see the Tonks' arguing over that.

And the end was lovely, giving Tonks the chance for some hope.

Good job! :)

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fantasticjackie December 27 2006, 17:44:06 UTC
That was a fun scene to imagine. :) I was tempted to actually write it, but I thought a flashback would slow everything afterwards down to a snails pace after reading what would be nothing but humor.

I was kind of worried about the ending, actually. It felt a little fairy-tale-ish to me as I'd intended it to be darker, but Christmas lights do intsill hope. I'm glad it wasn't horrible like I mellodramatically thought. :)

Thank you and have a happy New Year! :)

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