Advent Fic...

[joely_jo]

Title - Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
Author - joely_jo
Word Count - 1877 words
Rating - PG-13
Prompts - a musical instrument and a Christmas radio broadcast
Summary - A little Christmas lightness is stirred in a relationship in wartime.
Author’s Notes - First of all, I did the best I could with these prompts. They caused me a headache until brienze

Comments

[gloryforever]

I really, really like this piece. And that last line is just priceless!

[joely_jo]

Why thank you very much! The last line was one of those 'Oh my God, that's it!' moments... the sort of moment I love when writing... ;)

[anoipua]

This is really good. 2nd person is so hard to write. I'm really impressed. Bravo.

[joely_jo]

Thank you! It's one of the few styles I have never felt particularly comfortable with. I try to vary my writing as much as possible because I find it dull just being stuck with one style all the time, but this was the biggest challenge of all. I'd been using it for a Doctor Who piece I'm writing, and it just seemed that I needed as much practise as I could get... And this seemed like the perfect piece to practise on! Glad you thought it worked. :)

[devonwood]

You stare at him, amazed by the show of dependency from this man who is dependent on no-one.

I absolutely love that line.

Normally, I'm not a fan of second person writing, but this really caught my attention. It was written spectacularly well, and I was able to lose myself in the story. I loved when it switched to Remus's point of view, and I loved how he described the piano. Probably because I play the piano as well, but...:D

[joely_jo]

Ah, you play the piano... So do I, just not very well!

I'm glad you thought the second person style worked because I've been needling away with it for a little while now. It's one of the few styles I don't feel that comfortable with and, well, practise makes perfect! ;)

And yes, Remus is a solitary one. I have never imagined him to be the sort to seek assistance or charity from anybody... somehow I think he would see it as begging... A real old-fashioned gentleman.

Thanks for the comment!

[mrstater]

This is really lovely. Second person's definitely a different POV to write in, and a difficult one to pull off, but it's fun for a change, isn't it? There's something very fluid and organic about it, and I don't know how long it took you to write this, but I thought it had that natural flow to it that set such a lovely, peaceful, still-before-the-snow feel.

Must say, Remus playing the piano is a wonderful take on that musical instrument prompt; I did so enjoy picturing lovely hands...

For some reason, this bit really stood out to me: Blessed Muggles, you think as you walk past, how innocent they are! But you know that their innocence is merely born of ignorance. If they only knew what was going on around them, they would find the dancing and laughter that much harder to summon. I guess because that's entered my head from time to time, that it must be an odd thing to know there's this whole other world around you -- the larger world -- totally unaware of this war you face every day in the most horrid of ways; though there must

[joely_jo]

Well, first of all, thank you for taking the time to write such a detailed comment... It's lovely to get thoughtful reviews like that.

and I don't know how long it took you to write this,

Hmmm... I started it about six times, each with a different beginning but each time was unsatisfied with what I had down. I then proceeded to delete everything and start again! However, when I finally got it clear in my mind it rattled off fairly easily. I think it took me about two nights to finish completely.

It was a good detail for her to see on the walk home, to make her step quicken to go home and be with someone who does understand. Yeah. I think it's very easy to forget that we end HBP with the wizarding world at war. And war is not kind and touches everybody. I think Tonks, having grown-up with a Muggle-born father, would be more aware than others of how the war was affecting the non-magical folk. And the journey home to Remus was, to me, almost a rush because she wanted, for a few moments, to have the same innocence and ignorance that

[mrstater]

Oh, and for housekeeping purposes, how do you want this tagged, genre-wise? Romance?

[joely_jo]

I s'pose, maybe a bit of angst too... I don't really know. I tried to tag with what I felt was right, but forgot to do the genre thing...