Oh! This is a cool second person because the way it reads to me is that the POV belongs to the narrator who is neither Remus nor Tonks and is addressing the reader, not themselves. It's completely smooth to read as you've done it (except that I feel like I'm intruding on them and want to stumble out of the room saying, 'Sorry. Sorry'.)
I like the unresolved ending to this. Because we know getting together occurs for them in the books, not all is lost here, yet this is a moment of distance I imagine them having had. And Tonks being reluctant though hopeful? That's the Tonks I love.
I'm glad you did this because it's a really nice read, ♥.
I'm glad that you think that this perspective works as I was trying something different and I was struggling (and stressing because I knew the deadline was approaching quickly...) when things finally fell into place.
I feel that a lot of things were left unresolved between them often, especially with Remus' tendancy to come and go from everyone's lives.
Oh wow, this is terrific. I think the second person narration works really well, and I love how the reader is drawn into the room...with the pictures, the lump on the bed and the face in the fireplace. Really well done.
I like how there's a bit of an exchange between them, but everything is still sort of up in the air. There's a sort of hopefulness in it, as if the reader can be certain these two will meet again, even if they're apart now.
guh! Is that a word? I think the 2nd person really works, because it i just what it is. Us watching it unfold from the outside. It is like the reader is the narrator. Very cool idea!
Speaking of visual! I'll third the remarks about what an interesting effect it is to use this second-person narration to set the stage, and show the reader what they are looking at. The photos are a great contrast with the current state of the characters.
This scene fits right into HBP year, with Remus torn about what to do, and Tonks refusing to give up hope. I especially liked this line, with its echoes of canon: Or perhaps he already knows the answer and doesn’t want to hear it again, as if he’s heard it a million times before.
The contrast of Tonks in OotP and HBP (and back again in DH) is astounding and I'm glad I was able to distinguish between the two in this short little piece effectively.
This is really wonderful. I think the second person really suits your style, and gives the story a real feeling of detachment from them, which is great for a moment like this. I loved the opening with the pictures, and the line about them being sad, although whether because they were apart or together it's impossible to say.
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I like the unresolved ending to this. Because we know getting together occurs for them in the books, not all is lost here, yet this is a moment of distance I imagine them having had. And Tonks being reluctant though hopeful? That's the Tonks I love.
I'm glad you did this because it's a really nice read, ♥.
ETA: It's the white space again...
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I'm glad that you think that this perspective works as I was trying something different and I was struggling (and stressing because I knew the deadline was approaching quickly...) when things finally fell into place.
I feel that a lot of things were left unresolved between them often, especially with Remus' tendancy to come and go from everyone's lives.
♥
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I like how there's a bit of an exchange between them, but everything is still sort of up in the air. There's a sort of hopefulness in it, as if the reader can be certain these two will meet again, even if they're apart now.
Really great. :)
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This is the first time I've ever tried second person, so I'm glad that it seems to have worked!
:D
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Thank you!
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This scene fits right into HBP year, with Remus torn about what to do, and Tonks refusing to give up hope. I especially liked this line, with its echoes of canon: Or perhaps he already knows the answer and doesn’t want to hear it again, as if he’s heard it a million times before.
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The contrast of Tonks in OotP and HBP (and back again in DH) is astounding and I'm glad I was able to distinguish between the two in this short little piece effectively.
Thanks again!
♥
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Loved it ♥.
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So glad that you think that the POV works. I was taking a gamble so I'm glad that it paid off!
You get hearts.
♥ ♥ ♥
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