So Close...

[jesspallas]

Title: So Close
Author: jesspallas
Rating: PG though there is a little bit of mildish swearing
Prompts: Exmoor National Park, A Howler, Drama. I was going to try and work in a Day of Feasting but it didn’t fit so I briefly referenced a picnic instead! :)
Word Count: 1633
Summary: “Her heart felt heavy, She wanted to scream in frustration, to slam something

Comments

[jncar]

Ingenius use of those prompts! I bow to your creativity.

You really do a wonderful job of writing action, and descriptions. Those are a weakness of mine, so I really admire your talent in that respect.

Their relationship was beautifully portrayed. And I loved the funny ending. The only inconsistancy that I see is that after her first search for him, she finds the Inn just fine to send the owl out. Maybe she wasn't as far away from the Inn then?

Sorry to nitpick. It was a great little story. =)

[jesspallas]

I know that bit was a little dodgy but the idea was that she'd managed to follow the river valley okay by following the sound of the river (did I mention that? In hindsight, I might have missed it out - oops!) but once she got out of the valley and up onto the barren moor, she was lost and stuck. Does that make sense? :)

[molly_coddles]

Apparently you do well under pressure, because your "in a hurry" pieces are always fantastic.
You've captured Remus's stubborness and Tonks's ingenuity - and perhaps lack of forethought, lol - so perfectly.

I suspect Remus is toying with her at the end, though, and after letting her panic a bit, he will impress her with that handy little "Point Me" spell. ;)

[jesspallas]

Yep. That's exactly what I imagined him doing as soon as he got his wand back. It just made a light ending to stop there! :)

[sea_thoughts]

This was lovely to read. Great description of the background and Tonks's mindset and especially the fog. Have you experienced fog on Exmoor yourself? I only ask because there are some details in there which make it very real. There were a lot of things that made me laugh as well, among them Tonks's desire to beat Remus with "soggy things" and the pub name of "The Addled Owl". And of course, the ending. The ending was classic.

[lady_bracknell]

This was such an inventive use of your prompts. I continue to marvel at your ability to string together intircate plots, seemingly at a moment's notice, when my brain would have taken one look at that list of prompts, wibbled a bit, and crawled away to hide.

I love how inventive and intelligent your Tonks is, and here you used this to great effect - until the very end, where you used her lack of a full plan to great comic effect. Suppose they won't really mind being stuck in the fog together, though, will they?

Lovely story.

[kerrymdb]

This was wonderful! I really enjoyed this story. I loved the imagery in the first paragraph and then Tonks brushing that idea away because of her frustration.

It's lovely to see how much they must have grown as a couple, that he could be so open to her when she finds him.

Great job! :)