Comments | metamorfic_moon: Juxtapose

chococoffeekiss in metamorfic_moon

Juxtapose

Dec 23, 2008 01:59

Title: Juxtapose
Author: chococoffeekiss
Ratings: PG, just in case.
Warnings: This is fluff with a motif.
Word Count: 1,710
Prompt: Wrapping Paper
Summary: "Together they laughed awkwardly, finally realizing what exactly they had done, just how subconscious their relationship was, just how much they were a part of each other, even though nothing had ever ( Read more... )

romance, chococoffeekiss, the pink christmas advent

Comments 35

wotcher_maera December 23 2008, 20:00:27 UTC

Homgsh LURVE!!! I really like how he blushes and gets worried about staring at her too much. Awesome!:D

chococoffeekiss January 1 2009, 08:36:23 UTC

Aww, thanks:D Aren't guys cute when they're embarrassed? I've always thought so:D

moon_reader December 24 2008, 04:27:17 UTC

“If you only knew.” She muttered

In instances like this, 'she' is not capitalized, and the period should be a comma. The same goes for a ....?" I'm only being picky 'cause I loved this!

Favorite lines:

“It’s Not Paranoia if They Really Are Out to Get Me.”

LOL

Thank goodness, as they all seemed to have too much pride to admit that they wanted or needed something, especially the one sitting across from her.

I feel like that really sums up a lot of Remus in one sentence!

Now, he had no problem qualms in helping her

Which one? ;)

In fact, that particular cake frosting incident was the reason for the exclamation mark and the italics in the title of the list.

awww....

And I love the idea of Remus doing origami!

Thanks for the lovely fluffiness!

chococoffeekiss December 31 2008, 04:28:29 UTC

Ah! thanks for pointing those sticky bits out for me! Will fix a.s.a.p!
My beta missed that I guess...
But then again, my beta was also me, at one in the morning:D

Thanks for reading, I really appreciated your review!

sspring92 December 24 2008, 05:37:53 UTC

Loverly! Love the metaphors of the brightly colored paper and the plain brown as the thing that they treasure most! Of course, we know that Remus is not plain brown wrapping underneath! I think I'm going to have to read this again...a couple of times!

chococoffeekiss December 31 2008, 04:30:10 UTC

Awww, thanks for your review! It totally made my day:D

mrstater December 24 2008, 13:58:57 UTC

gilpin25 will give you points for one of Remus' favorite things being ponies. ;)

This is yet another lovely contribution from you! I love what you've done with the omniscient narrator to parallel their thoughts about each other, and the plain wrapping paper vs. origami exchange at the end is just perfect for them. I do so love your R/T and their subtle and clever flirtation. Well done!

chococoffeekiss January 1 2009, 08:43:41 UTC

I had the feeling she would appreciate that! Being a horsey person like me:D

I'm glad you enjoyed this, omniscient narrator is fun to write and I don't do it often enough! Oh, and origami is fun. I almost didn't finish this because of Googling origami and then trying to make it! LOL!

gppr December 24 2008, 23:10:41 UTC

I liked how well this story reflected Tonks' and Remus' personalities. This shows perfectly how they complement each other. It was endearing to read how Tonk's is number one on his favourites list and him, eating frosting, is on top of her list as well. :)

chococoffeekiss January 1 2009, 08:47:08 UTC

Thanks so much for reading! I've always thought that Tonks and Remus complement each other very well, kind of like a Zen-type balance:D
Thanks for you review!