FIC: The Calendars of Fools

[tegdoh]

Title: The Calendars of Fools
Author: tegdoh
Ratings and Warnings: PG-13 (language); Angst
Prompts: The Beatles' The Fool on the Hill and the word 'flap'

And the eyes in his head see the world spinning round.
And nobody seems to like him,
They can tell what he wants to do
And he never shows his feelings.
The Fool on the Hill

Word Count: 3007
Summary

Comments

[fthpfthpfthp]

Beautiful!

*Wild Applause*

My favorite part came early, summing up Tonks and Remus in one line:
Tonks couldn’t help but laugh as he brought her hand up to his lips. “Merlin, that was a line.

I remember a thread in your journal last month in which you seemed to think this scene was overdone. I have read many hospital scene fics, and I assure you, yours is completely original; the places, the people, the sentiments. The repetition of Dumbledore is dead keeps reminding us that this is as much grief as it is romance; that there are unfathomably deep chasms between these characters and peace.

I'm honored that Triptych served as inspiration. I kept laughing at the hair like it was an inside joke.

[tegdoh]

*blushes* Thank you very much. And I'm glad you think it was an original take on what must be an obligatory scene for every R/T writer to tackle.

I desperately wanted to write fluff, or at least a happy ending for this fic, but the prompt kept pulling me towards the hospital scene. And then when I saw your piece (wasn't it the first one posted to the challenge?) a lot of things just clicked. I really liked the way you portrayed both Remus and Tonks as very vulnerable and grief-stricken. And many cultures have ritual hair-cutting as part of the grieving process, so your "Bon Jovi" Remus (LOL) gave me a nice hook.

[merryb87]

This was amazing! You captured Tonks amazingly well, and very spot-on, especially for the circumstance this was taken place. I love that it was drama, but also for the little touch of humor here and there, it wasn't over-done and fit just perfectly.

Fantastic!

[tegdoh]

aw, thanks. The conversations we all had around Tonks at my lj certainly helped bring things into focus for me. In the end after much wailing and gnashing of teeth I sat down and wrote most of this in a day.

[mssarajevo]

This is a great piece - you have a great ear for dialogue. I love the part where they are reminiscing about the past - it shows how comfortable they are with each other, a real sense of intimacy. One tiny thing that could be improved - I found the following passage a bit confusing:

She must have looked surprised, because he added sheepishly “I tried to avoid the Ministry teams - not difficult to do when one has memorized the Marauders’ Map. I just ... didn’t wish to explain to anyone what I was doing there.” He looked towards the castle, his memory haunted by people she had never known. “They’re all gone now.”

“I’m here,” she reminded him gently. He squeezed her hand in quiet acknowledgment.

“They’re the ones who convinced me, you know. That I was human.” It was his turn to sigh. “Just a your average teenaged wizard with a ‘furry little problem.’ We were so young, so full of ourselves. ‘The Marauders.’”
When Remus says "They're all gone now," I thought he was refering to the Ministry teams, not the Mauraders. That he is refering to

[tegdoh]

Thanks for your comments.

And I can see how that passage could be confusing. Too many pronouns! I'll have to work on that.

[vjs2259]

Lovely.
I could really hear them both, esp. Remus.

?Flap as in commotion?

[tegdoh]

Thanks. I find Remus to be the easiest character to write, and I'm still trying to find my 'Tonks' voice.

?Flap as in commotion?

Good guess - that was my original idea, but no, I had in mind origami, in which the folded corners of paper are sometimes referred to as flaps. A bit of a stretch, maybe!

[shimotsuki]

I really enjoyed this -- and the Tonks you've come up with is completely believable and compelling. I think you and I tend to see R/T from a similar angle sometimes, but anyway, I completely agree with the idea that grief for Dumbledore plays a large role in why the million-and-first argument ends differently.

The whole piece just flows wonderfully, and it has lots of original details and touches. I loved this exchange: "Did anyone…?" / "Minerva, I think." (Took me a minute to work it out, but it's exactly the kind of elliptical conversation they would have had.)

I like the slow but inexorable feeling of their reconciliation, too: Tonks’ efforts to quash the sudden hope brought on by his words were entirely undone when Remus took her hand in his and began to rub his thumb along her knuckles. And her refusal to let Robards interrupt her conversation with Remus made me want to cheer.

[tegdoh]

Thanks very much. I'm not sure my Tonks is completely cannon - she always comes off a bit too muted - but I'm starting to understand her better as a character.

(Took me a minute to work it out, but it's exactly the kind of elliptical conversation they would have had.)

I hope I didn't do too much of that in this fic. I left a lot of details unstated, because the two of them are well aware of the history and issues between them. And I can get away with that because this is fanfic, and we all know what is going on. But I think I need to come up with a way to be more explicit about some of the details. My use of pronouns had me confused a couple of times when I went back and read it again.

And yeah, I don't see them as falling into each others' arms the minute they leave the castle. But Remus needs Tonks, as much as he won't admit it, and she's the one he turns to when his grief becomes too much. And she can't quite trust him yet, but loves him enough to accept what he can give her. I'm still working out in my own mind how the next 2