Fic: Desertion
Title: Desertion
Author:
anoipua
Rating & Warnings: T, vague allusions to sex (nothing graphic at all), Character death (can’t really get around it, can we?)
Prompts: She'll never hurt me
She won't desert me
She's an angel sent to me
She's got the devil in her heart
No, no, this I can't believe
Devil in Her Heart
Word Count: 2,068
Summary: Three times, Tonks refuses to let Remus get away.
Author’s Notes: Wow, long time no writing. I failed at the last two challenges, ‘cause I chose to write a thesis instead of fic, but I think I’m back, more or less, and I’ve managed to get back into the swing of things, so here’s my submission. As always thanks to my beta,
blysnovels. Also, it must be said, I do not, unfortunately, own Remus, Tonks or anyone Harry Potter related. My sister bought me a Time Turner for Christmas though, so if I can figure out how to work it, maybe I’ll go back in time and steal the idea before JKR has it. Another note: I realize that the patronus form I chose for Fred may be wrong, but I couldn’t find anything when I searched for it, so I made it up. If anyone knows what it is: care to enlighten me? :o)
…:::…:::…:::…
Sirius tipped back in his chair gazing levelly at his cousin. She had never looked so glum, in the four months since they’d been reunited.
“Right. Out with it. What’s making that pink hair look so dull?” He asked, rather bluntly.
Tonks opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again, silently. She repeated the action, this time drawing breath before refraining from speech a second time. Sirius raised an eyebrow. She seemed to be searching for the proper words to say. She drew another breath.
“I fancy Remus,” she said, simply.
“I would hope you do, the way you’ve been mooning about this place lately,” Sirius answered.
“No, I mean, I really fancy Remus. And I thought he fancied me too,” Tonks explained. “But he’s, well, he’s been acting sort of oddly lately, and I’m not sure what I’ve done to cause it.”
“What do you mean, ‘acting oddly’?” Sirius asked.
“Last weekend, we--, well, since last weekend, he’s been very quiet. Withdrawn, almost, and he doesn’t laugh, or joke or tease like he did, and I’m not sure--, well, maybe I did something wrong, or offended him?” Tonks finished weakly.
“Last weekend, you what?” Sirius pressed with a knowing look.
Tonks threw an of-course-you-must-already-know look his way and Sirius chuckled.
“What’s the date?” Sirius asked, suddenly.
“Eh? Tuesday. Fifth of December. Why?” Tonks asked, startled by the abrupt shift in the conversation.
Sirius glanced at the calendar on the wall of the basement kitchen. “Have you had the wolf talk, yet?” He asked, without answering her question.
“The wolf talk?”
“You know, the one where he tells you he’s a werewolf and he’s dangerous and he’s going away for a few days?” Sirius elaborated.
“Sirius, I already knew he’s a werewolf. He doesn’t need to tell me about it.”
“Right, but…well, here’s where I’m going with this. Generally, Remus has a speech. I’m a werewolf, I’m dangerous, I’m going away to transform. It’s best if we just stop this now, before I hurt you. That sort of rubbish. Usually it would have happened before---well, last weekend, if you went where I think you went.” Sirius suggested with a waggle of his eyebrows. “Anyway, James and I got sort of the same speech when we told him we’d blown his sick-old-aunt cover. Minus the allusions to sex, of course,” he explained. “We were only twelve at the time. Anyway, he’s probably screwing up his courage to have the wolf talk. Full moon’s only two days away. But he must really fancy you, if you’ve made it this far with out it. He’ll be trying to give you an easy way out, with no hard feelings, now.”
“An easy way out? Why on earth would I need an ‘easy way out’?” Tonks asked incredulously.
“So no one gets hurt when you decided you don’t want to associate with a werewolf,” Remus said from the door way.
Sirius almost fell out of his chair.
“Mind if we have a moment, Sirius?” Remus asked quietly.
Sirius composed himself and apparently decided to give the two their privacy. “’Course not,” he said, making for the door. “But-Don’t be a fool, Moony,” and he disappeared.
Remus sat down in the chair Sirius had vacated. “Tonks, I don’t want to hurt you. And I am dangerous. Not only physically, but if people knew, if people saw us together, your reputation-“
Tonks laughed. “You ninny, Remus. I don’t care what people think! My hair’s usually pink, for God’s sake! And I’m a fully trained, fully qualified Auror. I’m not worried about the wolf. If I decide I don’t want to be with you, it will be because I don’t want to be with you, Remus, not because I’m afraid of the big bad wolf.”
…:::…:::…:::…
“Too old, too poor, too dangerous,” she mimicked. It had become his mantra lately, since Sirius died and the Ministry was forced to recognize Voldemort’s return-too old, too poor, too dangerous. Hers had become “I don’t care.”
It’d been months since he’d decided he couldn’t risk ‘running with the pack’, as he said, and being with her at the same time. Weeks since she’d last gotten an owl from Molly, saying he’d checked in and he was alright. Days since the last full moon, when she’d pled with Dumbledore to tell her where Remus was, so she could check on him. Tonks sat up through the full moon, listening for a familiar howl, when she’d heard that the pack he had been living with was near by. And now, here he was: a chance encounter as she left the Hogwarts grounds after duty, and he entered them with a report for Dumbledore, stealing away for the few moments that he wouldn’t be missed. He was thin, too thin, and his hair seemed to have greyed more since she saw him last. His jumper was even more threadbare, and she made a mental note to ask Molly to knit one for him for Christmas.
The conversation started the same way they all had, before he stopped coming to Order meetings: “How are you, Tonks?” And seemed like it would end the same way too, if she didn’t say something to change it. “Remus,” she’d ask, “When are you coming home?” And he’d say “Dora, I’m too old, too poor, and too dangerous for you, please, please stop waiting for me.”
“Oh, for Godric’s sake, Remus would you just shut up?!” Tonks snapped, surprising even herself. This is not the way this conversation normally went. Normally she said “But I don’t care.” and he looked at her sadly and said “Some day you will,” and walked away. Not this time though. This time, she was ready for a fight.
“Nymphadora, please-“
“And don’t you bloody well dare call me Nymphadora!” She shrieked.
Remus stood stunned in the middle of the snowy school grounds.
“Too old, too poor, too dangerous,” she mimicked. “I don’t bleeding well care, if you’re poor, Remus. You’re not that old, you just act old. And I do believe we’ve had the ‘dangerous’ conversation more than once. If you don’t remember, it goes like this: I say wolfsbane, you say it’s finicky. I say Auror, you say ‘training isn’t the same as the real thing’. Well, now, Remus, I say I love you. You hear me? I love you, and when you can stand in front of me, look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love me, then I’ll stop waiting for you to come home. I’ll stop worrying about you risking your life on this fool’s mission, and I’ll stop arguing with you. But I don’t think you can, can you Remus? Eh? Go ahead, try.”
Remus stood silent, looking for all the world like a kicked puppy.
“There. You can’t, can you?” Tonks said, knowing she was right, and hating herself for the display she was making, but unable to stop herself any more. She thanked her lucky stars that all of the students were supposed to be in bed, and no one should be this near the gate this late at night. “You tried, once, to give me an easy way out. You said I’d want it one day. Well, I can’t think of anything worse than this, Remus. I can’t think of anything worse than waiting to find out if you’re alive, and waiting to find out if you’ve made it through the moon with out being killed, and having you stand there and deny me the chance to help you in any little way I can. I still won’t leave, Remus, I won’t just walk away. Because I love you, and I don’t desert people I love.”
“You’re right, Dora, I can’t tell you I don’t love you, because I do. Are you satisfied? I still love you, and yes, I am going to walk away again, because if I don’t and one of my kind finds out, then you’re dead, Dora, or worse. And I won’t let that happen.” Remus closed his eyes, and walked past her, as though trying to block her out of his memory.
“Your kind, Remus?” Tonks called out, stopping him in his tracks. “Your kind? You mean mild mannered professors and pranksters who just happened to have bad luck as a child, and apparently has decided to let it ruin every chance he has at a happy life because of one bleeding night a month? How many of you are there, Remus? Do you have a society now?” she asked a little coldly.
“My kind, Dora. Werewolves. We live in the woods, or in alleys, and we eat what we can find, and we answer to no one, and we aren’t employable, and one night a month, we’d just as soon kill the people we love, Dora, as eat a wild rabbit, ‘cause all that matters is the blood. And I’m trying to keep the number of us down by at least one.”
Tonks closed the space between them. “That’s not who you are, Remus. I know it’s not.”
“Dora, I’ve got a report to make.” Remus touched her cheek. “Please, stay away and stay safe. I love you, Dora. Don’t let me hurt you,” he turned and walked away with out another word.
“I won’t stay away, Remus,” she called after him. “I won’t desert you.” The last was a whisper.
…:::…:::…:::…
When Fred’s patronus showed up with the news that Harry had returned to Hogwarts, and that the Order and a group of renegade students known as the D.A. were going to battle behind him, Remus had a cloak on before the magpie had finished delivering it’s message.
“Dora,” he begged. “Stay here, with Teddy and your Mum. Keep them safe. Keep you safe.”
“Remus, promise me you’ll come home,” Tonks pleaded.
But Remus couldn’t and they both knew it. He gave his son a cuddle, kissed his wife, said goodbye and Apparated to the Hogshead, where Fred had said, Aberforth was smuggling Order members on to school grounds.
Tonks paced her mother’s living room, bouncing her baby boy and cooing reassurances that she needed more than the child. It was only a half hour after Remus left that she decided she couldn’t sit here while others were fighting. She kissed Teddy’s electric blue head, gave her mother a squeeze, took one last long look, to make a patrous conjuring memory, and Apparated away as well, hoping Aberforth hadn’t closed whatever passage he was using. She’d just arrived in the Room of Requirement when Harry, Ron and Hermione stumbled back inside. With a quick few words exchanged, Tonks ran out of the Room. It took her nearly an hour to find Remus, and when she did, he was locked fiercely in a duel. Immediately, she fired spell after charm after hex, positioning herself back to back with her husband, and engaging a Death Eater of her own.
“Nymphadora, what the bleeding hell are you doing here?!” Remus bellowed between spells.
“Wotcher,” She said, rather casually, as though this was another training exercise with Mad-Eye. “Couldn’t let you have all the fun, could I?”
“Expelliarmus! Yes, you bloody well could have!” Remus answered.
“Never heard you swear so much, Remus,” Tonks chuckled. “Sectumsempra! Incarcerous!” Tonks over took her opponent, just as another one came up behind him.
There was a cry of sectumsempra! again, this time from Dolohov, aimed at Remus, who fell, and then a cackle of delight as Bellatrix Lestrange stepped into view in front of Tonks.
“Ah, my little mudblood niece, and her werewolf husband. What a treat! What do you say, Nymphie? Fancy a duel?” Bellatrix laughed her crazy laugh again.
“Sounds like a blast, Auntie Bella,” Tonks taunted back, firing the first curse.
“Dora, Run! Don’t engage her here, just run!” Remus begged.
“Not a chance, Remus. I’m gonna take care of her for Sirius, and then we’re gonna get you back to Molly and Poppy for a look at that gash,” Tonks ducked a flash of purple and referred to the wound as if Remus had been clumsy with a knife.
“Please, Dora. For me, go!” Remus wheezed.
“No, Remus, after all this time, I won’t desert you now!” Tonks said firmly. “Avada K-“, Tonks began.
There was a flash of green, and the world around Nymphadora Tonks Lupin went dark.
Author:
anoipua
Rating & Warnings: T, vague allusions to sex (nothing graphic at all), Character death (can’t really get around it, can we?)
Prompts: She'll never hurt me
She won't desert me
She's an angel sent to me
She's got the devil in her heart
No, no, this I can't believe
Devil in Her Heart
Word Count: 2,068
Summary: Three times, Tonks refuses to let Remus get away.
Author’s Notes: Wow, long time no writing. I failed at the last two challenges, ‘cause I chose to write a thesis instead of fic, but I think I’m back, more or less, and I’ve managed to get back into the swing of things, so here’s my submission. As always thanks to my beta,
blysnovels. Also, it must be said, I do not, unfortunately, own Remus, Tonks or anyone Harry Potter related. My sister bought me a Time Turner for Christmas though, so if I can figure out how to work it, maybe I’ll go back in time and steal the idea before JKR has it. Another note: I realize that the patronus form I chose for Fred may be wrong, but I couldn’t find anything when I searched for it, so I made it up. If anyone knows what it is: care to enlighten me? :o)
…:::…:::…:::…
Sirius tipped back in his chair gazing levelly at his cousin. She had never looked so glum, in the four months since they’d been reunited.
“Right. Out with it. What’s making that pink hair look so dull?” He asked, rather bluntly.
Tonks opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again, silently. She repeated the action, this time drawing breath before refraining from speech a second time. Sirius raised an eyebrow. She seemed to be searching for the proper words to say. She drew another breath.
“I fancy Remus,” she said, simply.
“I would hope you do, the way you’ve been mooning about this place lately,” Sirius answered.
“No, I mean, I really fancy Remus. And I thought he fancied me too,” Tonks explained. “But he’s, well, he’s been acting sort of oddly lately, and I’m not sure what I’ve done to cause it.”
“What do you mean, ‘acting oddly’?” Sirius asked.
“Last weekend, we--, well, since last weekend, he’s been very quiet. Withdrawn, almost, and he doesn’t laugh, or joke or tease like he did, and I’m not sure--, well, maybe I did something wrong, or offended him?” Tonks finished weakly.
“Last weekend, you what?” Sirius pressed with a knowing look.
Tonks threw an of-course-you-must-already-know look his way and Sirius chuckled.
“What’s the date?” Sirius asked, suddenly.
“Eh? Tuesday. Fifth of December. Why?” Tonks asked, startled by the abrupt shift in the conversation.
Sirius glanced at the calendar on the wall of the basement kitchen. “Have you had the wolf talk, yet?” He asked, without answering her question.
“The wolf talk?”
“You know, the one where he tells you he’s a werewolf and he’s dangerous and he’s going away for a few days?” Sirius elaborated.
“Sirius, I already knew he’s a werewolf. He doesn’t need to tell me about it.”
“Right, but…well, here’s where I’m going with this. Generally, Remus has a speech. I’m a werewolf, I’m dangerous, I’m going away to transform. It’s best if we just stop this now, before I hurt you. That sort of rubbish. Usually it would have happened before---well, last weekend, if you went where I think you went.” Sirius suggested with a waggle of his eyebrows. “Anyway, James and I got sort of the same speech when we told him we’d blown his sick-old-aunt cover. Minus the allusions to sex, of course,” he explained. “We were only twelve at the time. Anyway, he’s probably screwing up his courage to have the wolf talk. Full moon’s only two days away. But he must really fancy you, if you’ve made it this far with out it. He’ll be trying to give you an easy way out, with no hard feelings, now.”
“An easy way out? Why on earth would I need an ‘easy way out’?” Tonks asked incredulously.
“So no one gets hurt when you decided you don’t want to associate with a werewolf,” Remus said from the door way.
Sirius almost fell out of his chair.
“Mind if we have a moment, Sirius?” Remus asked quietly.
Sirius composed himself and apparently decided to give the two their privacy. “’Course not,” he said, making for the door. “But-Don’t be a fool, Moony,” and he disappeared.
Remus sat down in the chair Sirius had vacated. “Tonks, I don’t want to hurt you. And I am dangerous. Not only physically, but if people knew, if people saw us together, your reputation-“
Tonks laughed. “You ninny, Remus. I don’t care what people think! My hair’s usually pink, for God’s sake! And I’m a fully trained, fully qualified Auror. I’m not worried about the wolf. If I decide I don’t want to be with you, it will be because I don’t want to be with you, Remus, not because I’m afraid of the big bad wolf.”
…:::…:::…:::…
“Too old, too poor, too dangerous,” she mimicked. It had become his mantra lately, since Sirius died and the Ministry was forced to recognize Voldemort’s return-too old, too poor, too dangerous. Hers had become “I don’t care.”
It’d been months since he’d decided he couldn’t risk ‘running with the pack’, as he said, and being with her at the same time. Weeks since she’d last gotten an owl from Molly, saying he’d checked in and he was alright. Days since the last full moon, when she’d pled with Dumbledore to tell her where Remus was, so she could check on him. Tonks sat up through the full moon, listening for a familiar howl, when she’d heard that the pack he had been living with was near by. And now, here he was: a chance encounter as she left the Hogwarts grounds after duty, and he entered them with a report for Dumbledore, stealing away for the few moments that he wouldn’t be missed. He was thin, too thin, and his hair seemed to have greyed more since she saw him last. His jumper was even more threadbare, and she made a mental note to ask Molly to knit one for him for Christmas.
The conversation started the same way they all had, before he stopped coming to Order meetings: “How are you, Tonks?” And seemed like it would end the same way too, if she didn’t say something to change it. “Remus,” she’d ask, “When are you coming home?” And he’d say “Dora, I’m too old, too poor, and too dangerous for you, please, please stop waiting for me.”
“Oh, for Godric’s sake, Remus would you just shut up?!” Tonks snapped, surprising even herself. This is not the way this conversation normally went. Normally she said “But I don’t care.” and he looked at her sadly and said “Some day you will,” and walked away. Not this time though. This time, she was ready for a fight.
“Nymphadora, please-“
“And don’t you bloody well dare call me Nymphadora!” She shrieked.
Remus stood stunned in the middle of the snowy school grounds.
“Too old, too poor, too dangerous,” she mimicked. “I don’t bleeding well care, if you’re poor, Remus. You’re not that old, you just act old. And I do believe we’ve had the ‘dangerous’ conversation more than once. If you don’t remember, it goes like this: I say wolfsbane, you say it’s finicky. I say Auror, you say ‘training isn’t the same as the real thing’. Well, now, Remus, I say I love you. You hear me? I love you, and when you can stand in front of me, look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love me, then I’ll stop waiting for you to come home. I’ll stop worrying about you risking your life on this fool’s mission, and I’ll stop arguing with you. But I don’t think you can, can you Remus? Eh? Go ahead, try.”
Remus stood silent, looking for all the world like a kicked puppy.
“There. You can’t, can you?” Tonks said, knowing she was right, and hating herself for the display she was making, but unable to stop herself any more. She thanked her lucky stars that all of the students were supposed to be in bed, and no one should be this near the gate this late at night. “You tried, once, to give me an easy way out. You said I’d want it one day. Well, I can’t think of anything worse than this, Remus. I can’t think of anything worse than waiting to find out if you’re alive, and waiting to find out if you’ve made it through the moon with out being killed, and having you stand there and deny me the chance to help you in any little way I can. I still won’t leave, Remus, I won’t just walk away. Because I love you, and I don’t desert people I love.”
“You’re right, Dora, I can’t tell you I don’t love you, because I do. Are you satisfied? I still love you, and yes, I am going to walk away again, because if I don’t and one of my kind finds out, then you’re dead, Dora, or worse. And I won’t let that happen.” Remus closed his eyes, and walked past her, as though trying to block her out of his memory.
“Your kind, Remus?” Tonks called out, stopping him in his tracks. “Your kind? You mean mild mannered professors and pranksters who just happened to have bad luck as a child, and apparently has decided to let it ruin every chance he has at a happy life because of one bleeding night a month? How many of you are there, Remus? Do you have a society now?” she asked a little coldly.
“My kind, Dora. Werewolves. We live in the woods, or in alleys, and we eat what we can find, and we answer to no one, and we aren’t employable, and one night a month, we’d just as soon kill the people we love, Dora, as eat a wild rabbit, ‘cause all that matters is the blood. And I’m trying to keep the number of us down by at least one.”
Tonks closed the space between them. “That’s not who you are, Remus. I know it’s not.”
“Dora, I’ve got a report to make.” Remus touched her cheek. “Please, stay away and stay safe. I love you, Dora. Don’t let me hurt you,” he turned and walked away with out another word.
“I won’t stay away, Remus,” she called after him. “I won’t desert you.” The last was a whisper.
…:::…:::…:::…
When Fred’s patronus showed up with the news that Harry had returned to Hogwarts, and that the Order and a group of renegade students known as the D.A. were going to battle behind him, Remus had a cloak on before the magpie had finished delivering it’s message.
“Dora,” he begged. “Stay here, with Teddy and your Mum. Keep them safe. Keep you safe.”
“Remus, promise me you’ll come home,” Tonks pleaded.
But Remus couldn’t and they both knew it. He gave his son a cuddle, kissed his wife, said goodbye and Apparated to the Hogshead, where Fred had said, Aberforth was smuggling Order members on to school grounds.
Tonks paced her mother’s living room, bouncing her baby boy and cooing reassurances that she needed more than the child. It was only a half hour after Remus left that she decided she couldn’t sit here while others were fighting. She kissed Teddy’s electric blue head, gave her mother a squeeze, took one last long look, to make a patrous conjuring memory, and Apparated away as well, hoping Aberforth hadn’t closed whatever passage he was using. She’d just arrived in the Room of Requirement when Harry, Ron and Hermione stumbled back inside. With a quick few words exchanged, Tonks ran out of the Room. It took her nearly an hour to find Remus, and when she did, he was locked fiercely in a duel. Immediately, she fired spell after charm after hex, positioning herself back to back with her husband, and engaging a Death Eater of her own.
“Nymphadora, what the bleeding hell are you doing here?!” Remus bellowed between spells.
“Wotcher,” She said, rather casually, as though this was another training exercise with Mad-Eye. “Couldn’t let you have all the fun, could I?”
“Expelliarmus! Yes, you bloody well could have!” Remus answered.
“Never heard you swear so much, Remus,” Tonks chuckled. “Sectumsempra! Incarcerous!” Tonks over took her opponent, just as another one came up behind him.
There was a cry of sectumsempra! again, this time from Dolohov, aimed at Remus, who fell, and then a cackle of delight as Bellatrix Lestrange stepped into view in front of Tonks.
“Ah, my little mudblood niece, and her werewolf husband. What a treat! What do you say, Nymphie? Fancy a duel?” Bellatrix laughed her crazy laugh again.
“Sounds like a blast, Auntie Bella,” Tonks taunted back, firing the first curse.
“Dora, Run! Don’t engage her here, just run!” Remus begged.
“Not a chance, Remus. I’m gonna take care of her for Sirius, and then we’re gonna get you back to Molly and Poppy for a look at that gash,” Tonks ducked a flash of purple and referred to the wound as if Remus had been clumsy with a knife.
“Please, Dora. For me, go!” Remus wheezed.
“No, Remus, after all this time, I won’t desert you now!” Tonks said firmly. “Avada K-“, Tonks began.
There was a flash of green, and the world around Nymphadora Tonks Lupin went dark.