Asking for Forever

[shimotsuki]

Title: Asking for Forever
Author: shimotsuki
Rating & Warnings: PG-13 for mild profanity and cuddling. DH spoilers.
Prompts: Drama; a day of falls; Felix Felicis (metaphorically); image #26 (stairs down to a door)
Word Count: 5020
Summary: A mere fortnight after the relationship finally begins is hardly the best time to ask a certain question. But what if

Comments

[oneandonlysusan]

I really enjoyed this! I liked the use of the Felix Felicis and how it recurred at the end. If love was like Felix Felicis, maybe their luck would hold. So lovely. I think it should count!!

I loved that you split the story between both of them and I loved seeing Remus' shocked pleasure that Tonks really wants to be with him. I think this is a really plausible explanation of the quick marriage.

Also, I really liked the title.

Great job! Thanks for sharing!

[shimotsuki]

Thank you for the detailed comments! I'm especially glad to hear that you liked the title, since titles always worry me... And I hoped that the Felix Felicis references would be a way to show that Remus is a little too happy to be his normal cautious self at the moment.

[mrstater]

I've really been looking forward to getting a chance to read this, and it's definitely all I hoped it would be! You did an excellent job of depicting the Remus here that was implied in the funeral hand-holding scene, and also tied him back really well to POA (and earlier) Remus who is very good at being impulsive and believing what he wants to believe in a moment, which bridges neatly for a real about face when Tonks does have trouble for marrying him. If only he could make that decision to marry her with an expectation of the worst happening, and a game plan for how to make it work and how not to flake out when it does

[shimotsuki]

If only he could make that decision to marry her with an expectation of the worst happening, and a game plan for how to make it work and how not to flake out when it does! -- Oh, no kidding! (sigh)

I really appreciate your suggestion about the Felix Felicis -- I'm delighted to receive concrit anytime, because I'm hoping to revise the entire Kaleidoscope series once it's done (...if that ever happens, heh...) and post it somewhere. This point was actually something I thought about for a while: whether to try to work both the "day of falls" prompt and the Felix Felicis into both sections, or to use the two prompts separately to try to symbolize the different emotional states that the two of them were in. I did go for the latter option in the end, but on the other hand I think it would work well to have Tonks think some slightly bitter thought about Felix Felicis being about the only thing that would get Remus to agree to marry her. So I'll definitely reconsider the best use of the Felix Felicis theme when I go back to revise

[mrstater]

Oh, I'm very happy to have had useful feedback, especially if it's something you'd thought about! Though your reasoning there is really excellent.

but on the other hand I think it would work well to have Tonks think some slightly bitter thought about Felix Felicis being about the only thing that would get Remus to agree to marry her.

Or Felix Felicis being the only thing that could stop Umbridge.

On the flip side, I wonder, too, if there could be a slight optimism, if maybe they'd have the sort of luck to be able to avoid detection
I; after all they've managed to keep the Order secret and she's still got her job. Don't know, but it popped in to my head. ;)

[shimotsuki]

Right! Those are some great ideas, too. I especially like the Umbridge idea. Basically, these two need all the luck they can get. :(

[godricgal]

This is a lovely continuation of the Kaleidoscope series, and a really excellent take on the early marriage in DH. Your writing is, as always, lovely, and you've got their characters spot on. I thought the metaphorical us of the Felix Felicis prompt was splendid.

[shimotsuki]

Thank you so much for the kind words! I'm glad you thought this scene worked (and that I wasn't just "mentioning the Jarvey" as you mods have described in the Rules post, heh).

[lady_bracknell]

I thought this was really sweet, and I liked the mixture of Remus' insecurity and Tonks' tenacity, but how that's waned since the funeral, and now she's cautious, understanding how important it is not to push Remus too far too soon. I think it's really belivable, too, that they get married under these circumstances, because of some Ministry decree they need to defy - I really liked the idea of now or never, and Tonks' line about how they couldn't know if it would affect her career, only whether they wanted to do it or not.

Nicely done :D.

[shimotsuki]

Thank you for the kind comments! I'm glad you thought it was sweet...I hoped it wouldn't be too sappy, but I thought the poor dears deserved a little comfort cuddling before it all goes pear-shaped again at the start of DH.

I really liked the idea of now or never, and Tonks' line about how they couldn't know if it would affect her career, only whether they wanted to do it or not. -- I'm happy to hear that stood out to you -- this is a theme I'm hoping to work more with in the series: the idea that war is uncertain, so it's important not to put too much of life off with the excuse of waiting for safer times. (And in fact, I was already planning to make that argument be part of my Hospital Wing Discussion before DH. *sigh*)

[gilpin25]

I was very intrigued when this started by how you were going to get round the problem of them marrying so quickly as obviously your ficverse does mean that everything has to happen at a rate of knots after the hospital scene. I think you've come up with a convincing and very beliveable explanation here for exactly that, and a really enjoyable read at the same time

[shimotsuki]

Goodness, mod reviews are just as much appreciated as other reviews! Maybe even more, because you lot must be frightfully busy managing the rest of the Jumble. (And writing giant fics, in some cases. ;) ) Anyway, I very much appreciate your encouraging comments, Ms. Mod. I especially enjoyed writing Tonks here, so I'm glad she made you sympathize.

Also, I'm delighted that you've seen where I'm going with this in terms of against his better judgment. I was actually very excited about fic possibilities while reading the first part of DH (before I knew better, alas), dreaming up ways to use my late-blooming version of the R/T relationship as backstory for Remus's unbalanced behavior -- if circumstances forced their relationship forward too fast, I could see where it might tear him up with guilt and worry later.