The Gift Chapter 1
Title: The Gift
Pairing(s): JB/JR
Rating: NC17
Warning(s): Smoking, alcohol, prostitution
Summary: Jinyoung's housemates order him an escort for his 21st birthday, however things don't go as smoothly as they'd expected.
ONE
TWO
THREE
Jinyoung had grown up as an only child, coddled and suffocated by the love of his parent's. While he was thankful for their dedication and affection during his childhood, he also resented them for the way they had brought him up. His parents were obsessed with success; desperate to see their child grow and become what they could not. When he wanted to learn the violin, they signed him up for piano lessons. When he wanted to act, they told him to study so he could become a good doctor one day.
The only thing they couldn't take away from him were his books. He'd tape false covers to them, disguising his classics as various editions of 'Introduction to Medicine' and his English textbooks as dictionaries. There was no room for failure; there wasn't even the option - it didn't once cross his parent's minds that he wanted to be anything other than what they would make him. He was their project, and though he never went without any basic human needs or suffered any neglect, the love they gave him was cold, and he always found himself shivering in the wake of it.
School was a miserable time for him, studying subjects he had no interest in and knowing he had to succeed. The only respite from it all was the classes he'd sneak into in secret; study groups and after school clubs he'd disguise as extra credit for his other subjects. He had an aching passion for literature, reading words written centuries before he was born and still feeling the impact of them. While he was growing up, they gave him a warmth his parent's didn't know how to give, made him see a world they were too narrow minded to even explore.
Over time he'd become insecure; terrified of failure, of being a disappointment. Studying constantly, he couldn't make friends, couldn't talk to people. He felt that if he didn't live up to their expectations they wouldn't want to be around him anymore, wouldn't like him, wouldn't love him. Why risk the disappointment when you could just avoid it entirely?
He didn't lie to his parents when he enrolled in college - he took every syllabus they wanted him to. Jinyoung never lied - he decieved. The second he was out of the house and on the bus with luggage up to his ears, he was on his cellphone completely switching every major he'd signed up to. Instead of music he took theatre, instead of biology he took art history; classics, linguistics. He was free, and with freedom came the sudden knowledge that you were alone.
He didn't live on campus or in dorms, instead moving to a shared house with random tenants in various levels of study. He'd trembled all the way to the door, heart pounding and knees weak as he gathered the strength to keep his hand steady and unlock the door. By the end of the evening he'd already met one housemate, a Californian boy named Mark. He had a smile that set Jinyoung at ease and a calmness that made him feel like he couldn't disappoint him even if he tried. They were alone for a whole week before their other housemates were due to arrive, the two of them exploring the campus together and getting to know eachother.
He found out Mark was there on an acrobatics scholarship, taking a few - in his words - easy subjects on the side. It was the day before a new housemate was due to arrive that Jinyoung had his first taste of alcohol at the ripe age of twenty, and the two of them shared secrets in the safety of cheap wine and Netflix. He was loose enough to relieve the burden of hiding his sexuality, finding a spark of joy in the knowledge that Mark was the same - and proud of it.
Jinyoung didn't know you could be proud of such a thing, always believing it was something shameful and dirty; because that was what his parent's thought, what they said right in front of him while they read an article about a boy committing suicide because of his 'mental illness'. He'd vowed never to tell them who he really was, and even Mark's confidence didn't sway him on that matter.
BamBam was a shock to his system when he first tumbled through the door like a hurricane, but Jinyoung quickly developed a deep affection for the kid. Once again Jinyoung was shown the narrowness of his own life when BamBam invited his boyfriend, Yugyeom, over within the first few months of the semester. Jinyoung struggled to believe there were so many people like him living without fear of judgement or disgust.
Yugyeom was Mark's favourite, the highschooler visiting so often he could have lived there if Mark had his way. When it came to favourites, though, Youngjae had a special place in Jinyoung's heart.
Youngjae had moved in a month after the start of the semester, having had trouble with the paperwork and ending up delayed until it all went through. The poor guy had the shock of his life upon opening the door and coming face to face with a very naked BamBam, who'd thought it was Jinyoung coming home and had stripped to give him a heart attack. In the end it was the younger boy who got the life scared out of him - karma was a bitch. Somehow instead of being a source of awkwardness, the abrupt greeting made the two of them like super glue.
By the time they'd all settled in, Jinyoung felt like he had a family there - a family that didn't want him to be anyone but who he was.
That was when the torture began. Everyone had to endure it - not just Jinyoung - but it was he who dreaded it the most in the end.
On Yugyeoms 18th birthday they'd all pretended to have forgotten, resulting in an unexpected amount of tears from the gentle giant and a whole load of apologising from his hyungs. For BamBam's 19th they had shaved his charismatic eyebrows off in his sleep, and for Youngjae's 20th they poured one of his beers out and filled it with vinegar instead. Mark wasn't so easy to play with, the older boy always seeming to emit an aura that told you not to fuck with him, so they decided to go about his birthday in a different way. It was on Mark's 23rd birthday that he walked into his bedroom to find an extremely naked - save for a bouquet of roses and a bottle of champagne discreetly covering his genitals - Jackson Wang, whom the older boy had been quite vocally crushing on for a while. In a way that one backfired, because Mark ended up getting the best screw of his life and a boyfriend in just one night.
Jinyoung didn't know he had such a devious streak in him, but he supposed after some deep thought that he'd always been sneaking around behind his parents backs, tricking them constantly. He liked to tease and play games as long as nobody got hurt physically or emotionally - he'd hugged Yugyeom until he couldn't breathe when he'd started to cry, horrified to have upset him. So when the bottle span and landed on him, he was suddenly caught off guard. For some reason he hadn't realised he'd be on the recieving end of the birthday tradition at some point, so he'd gone through the day without any sense of suspicion. They'd drank until the fridge was empty, and Jinyoung hadn't noticed that it was him who'd drank most of it, nor did he see the shiftiness in his friend's eyes, the constant encouragement they'd given him to drink up.
The next thing he knew he was being talked into going to a gay bar by an overly eager BamBam, and at some point along the way Jackson had joined them. Yugyeom didn't even need a fake ID to get in with the sheer size of him, whereas BamBam majored in IT and had a fresh one for Jinyoung and Jackson within fifteen minutes. He'd never been to a club, nevermind a gay one. The strobe lights and pounding music had made him feel like he was spinning and the sheer amount of flesh on display turned his eyes to saucers.
To give credit to his friends, their only intention had been to take him out of his comfort zone and hopefully show him that he wasn't alone. They had no way of knowing that one bottle of poppers and four rounds of shots bought for him by random guys would result in him taking half of his clothes off and grinding filthily against three men in bondage gear, suspended in a cage while they squirted whipped cream down the front of his pants and poured water all over him. Jackson and Mark were snapping pictures all over the place while Jinyoung partied on blindly, taking numbers from guys he wouldn't remember the faces of and getting drinks bought for him left and right.
He vaguely recalled dancing on the bar with Youngjae and trying to choreograph a strip tease, resulting in the younger boy slipping off the counter and falling heavily into a random guys lap. Before, he'd been pretty sure Youngjae was straight, but after what he saw the boy doing by 5am... he couldn't be so certain anymore.
He'd woken up with the worst hangover he could ever imagine a human being experiencing, sticky and still dressed in the clothes he was wearing before. Rolling over to the sound of his phone going crazy, he saw 44 missed calls and hundreds of texts - all from his parent's. At first he'd thought there'd been some kind of accident or tragedy in the family, but upon checking his facebook notifications quickly he saw what the urgency was. He guessed he should have told Mark he had his parents on there, that they'd see the 400 pictures he was tagged in from that night.
It had taken hours for his parents to finish yelling down the line; after a while he'd just rolled beneath the covers and mumbled 'yep' at every gap in their sermon. When he'd finally dragged himself downstairs, finding his housemates in the kitchen looking extremely guilty, he didn't feel anything but relief. If his parents knew this, there was nothing worse he had to hide.
It turned out that his parents had stalked the rest of the guys' profiles and called them up too, giving each of them a talking to they wouldn't forget. They'd expected Jinyoung to be a sobbing mess or wildly angry, but instead he'd just fallen into Mark's warm embrace, weak from having carried such a heavy weight for so long. He wouldn't forget the love he'd felt from them when he'd been crushed into a group hug; Jackson's strong arms around his neck like a noose and BamBam's boney elbows jabbing him in the hip. Whatever his parent's felt, whether they'd ever want him back, he had enough love and acceptance with these boys to survive without anything else. He was like their mother, and they were his children, as dysfunctional a family as they might have been. In just one year he'd found more love than he'd had in a lifetime.
However, as filled with relief and love as he was, he was still utterly mortified. Yugyeom insisted on bringing memories of that night back to him for weeks afterwards, greedy to embarrass his hyung's at all times. BamBam would imitate his reaction to his first experience with poppers, insisting that Jinyoung hadn't stopped commenting on how 'loose they made his butthole feel' and how he had continually stated that he was 'so hardcore for taking drugs'. Jackson had basically moved in with them after a while, and he'd often tell of how much of a hero he was that night for stopping Jinyoung from going home with a man three times his age and - in Jackson's opinion - probably affiliated with the mafia, even though Jinyoung had insisted he was in love with him and planned to elope.
Mark was mute on the matter, but in Jinyoung's eyes the silence was even worse, deafening, because he was sure the older boy had seen everything and was just waiting for Jinyoung to fuck up so he could use it as revenge. Youngjae didn't, and never would, say a word about that night, because the whole house had seen the disasterous antics he'd got up to in the club. Jinyoung would even venture to say the younger boy had embarrassed himself more than him, so at least there was someone worse off.
After Jinyoung's birthday fiasco, rather than learning from their mistakes, the bar only got higher. When Yugyeom turned 19, they blindfolded him and snuck him into a strip club. The lot of them got blind drunk, resulting in them having to drag the younger boy off the stage when he started giving the strippers a run for their money. On the way out a manager had even grabbed him and asked if he wanted a job.
For BamBam's 20th, they cut holes into the back pockets of every pair of jeans the guy owned, and the kid didn't notice until he got kicked out of his internship for inappropriate attire. That was a day he'd decided to forgo underwear, looking very fetching in his homemade denim assless chaps.
Youngjae had a gig at the student union planned for the week after his birthday, so they'd suggested an English song for him to perform; Mark and Jackson translating it incorrectly when he'd asked what the words meant, which resulted in every international student dying of laughter at his crooning, soulful rendition of "Boy is a Bottom".
The day before Mark's 25th, Jinyoung had snuck into the bathroom the older boy had for himself on the top floor while he was out, replacing his moisturiser with tanning solution and swapping the bottles in his unopened hair dye boxes with a semi-permanent shocking blue. When the older boy had got home, he'd offered to dye his hair for him, which he often did; the older boy had an obsession with keeping his red hair vibrant. Seeing Mark come downstairs in the morning with blue hair, a face like thunder and his usually porcelain skin now the colour of a Dorito was enough to dissolve the whole kitchen into a fit of hysterics. The only thing that saved Jinyoung from a beating was Kackson's heated proclamation of how much he loved Doritos and how he wanted to see if Mark tasted like one - to which the beating passed to him instead.
Jackson hadn't been in on the birthday ritual before, and while he was excited about it, in the end he was the same as the rest of them - filled with the need to get revenge whenever the next birthday came around. He was at their college on a fencing scholarship, and Mark threw his entire fencing uniform into the wash with all the coloured clothing he could find. The older boy packed his backpack that night, and Jackson had taken it as a sweet display of affection, bouncing off to campus with butterflies in his chest only to scream the locker room down when he pulled out the mess of pink his outfit had been reduced to. He had a league tournament that day.
It was during a short holiday break that they'd gathered together for a party, actually inviting people from outside their group for the first time. The alcohol was flowing and the music was bursting Jinyoung's eardrums open while he danced his heart away. He danced with a girl he recognised from his drama group - Bae Suji, he recalled - for almost half the night, engrossed in the masterclass she was giving him on how to body roll and slut drop. He caught Youngjae watching with glazed over eyes and ended up suspending his lesson for the night to invite the younger boy in his place; wicked delight rising in him at the sight of Youngjae turning tomato red and struggling to make coherent sounds, nevermind move his limbs to a rhythm.
When he wandered back into the living room through the throng of people, he was met with the sight of the rest of his housemates and a few randomers sat in a circle, red cups clutched in hand. He sat beside Jackson curiously, asking what they were doing. Jackson only handed him a cup, smirking deviously. '21 truths, glad you could join us. I'm sure a lot of useful information will be shared tonight.'
Somehow Mark was insanely good at evading the 21, whilst BamBam was the biggest black hole. It was shocking to hear the amount of sexual situations the younger boy had experienced, and Yugyeom's face was a startling shade of red by the fifth question - something Jinyoung didn't want to hear the answer to ever again for the sake of being able to look the two of them in the eyes in the future.
Jinyoung's heart almost stopped when the girl to his left finished on 20, the number 21 leaving his lips like a death sentence as his housemates looked upon him in glee. Yugyeom was the first to get a question in, desperate to get revenge for how much Jinyoung had laughed at his embarrassment.
'Hyung, how many guys have you been with?'
Jinyoung felt relief wash over him at the simplicity of the question, expecting it to be some horrifyingly personal revelation. 'None, I'm a virgin. Never even been kissed.' He brought his cup to his lips nonchalantly, but paused mid-gulp at the silence that had settled over the group. 'What?'
'You're a virgin?' Jackson screeched, 'Don't fuck with us.'
'Why is it so surprising?' He was suddenly feeling the need to defend himself, as if he'd just been caught for a crime he'd committed.
'Are you one of those abstinence people?' BamBam gasped with a look of wonderment, and Jinyoung scrunched his face up in astonishment.
'No, it-it just hasn't happened yet! Why are you making a big deal out of it?'
'Cos' you're hot.' A girl cooed across from him, 'I guess we all just assume cute people are getting the good stuff day and night.'
'Are you afraid of losing it?' 'Do you avoid getting into situations where it might happen?' 'Surely you must have been approached by somebody?' The questions came one after the other like gunfire and Jinyoung was almost sweating to be so in the spotlight, especially around people he didn't know from Adam as they pried into his private life.
'Can we stop talking about this now?' He mumbled, mood truly turning for the worst at the inquisition. While he couldn't quite place why the questioning had upset him so much, he just knew it wasn't anyone's place to be asking, and he definitely didn't have to give an answer to anybody. The chatter rose up again as they tried to cheer him up - as well as a few others still trying to pry information out of this apparently rare creature they called a virgin - but Jinyoung just shook his head, groggily swaying to his feet and climbing the stairs to his bedroom.
Within five minutes of being slumped against the door it opened hard, slamming into his back, followed by a rushed apology as Mark squeezed in through the small gap. The older boy came to sit beside him on the floor, pulling him against his shoulder comfortingly. 'You okay kiddo?'
'I didn't know it was so weird to be a virgin at my age, I'm only twenty.' He sighed heavily, 'Is there something wrong with me, Mark?'
Mark huffed, 'There's a lot of things wrong with you, but nothing to do with that situation.' Jinyoung cracked a smile at that before Mark continued, 'It'll happen when it happens, if you even want it to happen; asexuals exist too, there's nothing weird about it. I'm surprised you've never been kissed, though.'
Jinyoung shrugged miserably. 'I never spoke to anyone all through school and my parents didn't give me any time to have friends anyway. I didn't go to parties or socialise until I came here, when was I supposed to find somebody willing to kiss me?'
Mark put his serious face on. 'Do you think you subconsciously avoid situations where somebody might be interested in you because you're scared of your inexperience?' Of course, Jinyoung had to get stuck with the fucking Psych student. 'Or you feel they might be repulsed by you, or disappointed with what they find if they get closer?'
'Spare me the evaluation, please.' Jinyoung groaned.
'If you want I can teach you how to kiss.' Mark offered openly, and Jinyoung looked at him quizzically, eyebrow raised as his body tensed. 'I'm not tricking you, Jinyoung. If anybody knows you, it's me - I wouldn't treat you any differently afterwards, and there's no way I can be disappointed because I don't want a relationship with you like that. It's up to you.'
Sometimes he really hated how straight forward Mark could make things seem, especially as Jinyoung liked to be right. It would make sense to at least know what he was in for when it came to kissing, because it was true that the fear made him hesistate when a conversation got heated or somebody looked at him in a way that made his skin tingle.
He gave a small nod, barely noticable but Mark caught it and squeezed his shoulder. 'Just remember that you don't have to be perfect, nobody is grading you, nobody is going to be disappointed with you. When I had my first kiss I got my braces stuck in a girls tongue piercing and had to go to the A&E with her dad while I was still joined to his daughters face. Even if it's awkward or it goes completely wrong, you can still look back on it and laugh. It will get better the more you do it - and it depends who you're doing it with.'
Jinyoung was gaining confidence from Mark's comforting words, steeling himself for the plunge into uncharted waters he was about to take. Seeing Mark's face so close to his almost made him jump back, but the older placed a grounding hand at his neck, thumb rubbing comforting circles to the back of his ear as he pulled him closer. He watched the older boys eyes flutter shut, hot breath ghosting over Jinyoung's lips before he felt the warmth against his own. It was chaste, and Mark pulled back as soon as he did it with a cheeky smile.
'Is that it?' Jinyoung spluttered indignantly, feeling like he'd been set up. Mark only giggled, shaking his head.
'Of course not, I just wanted to check if you were okay. Anytime you want to back out just bite me or something.'
Jinyoung nodded, nervous again. Mark resumed his previous position of holding Jinyoung steady, this time pressing his lips against Jinyoung's more firmly, pushing at the soft flesh and beckoning Jinyoung to turn his head this way and that with just the gentle pressure of his hand. Jinyoung felt well out of his depth, but he followed Mark's lead anyway, tentatively kissing the older boy back and copying whatever he'd been doing so far. Mark's lips were soft and he was careful, slow and intent on putting Jinyoung at ease.
When Jinyoung finally ran out of breath, he broke away panting, trying to ignore the knowing smirk on Mark's lips.
'Dont fall in love with me, Jinyoungie, my lips belong to another.'
'Dont remind me where your mouth has been, please.' Jinyoung retorted, getting a slap on his arm in return.
'Wanna do tongue?'
'I think I'll leave that for my true love - I'd rather not have the second-hand aftertaste of Jackson's dick-' Mark punched him hard in the shoulder, making him fall to the ground in overexaggerated pain. The two of them dissolved into laughter, and Jinyoung was thankful they were close enough for the whole situation to seem so natural.
When Jinyoung had finally caught his breath, he sighed. 'Thanks, Mark. You didn't have to do that.'
Mark only winked, messing up the younger boys hair playfully. 'Anything for you, Jinyoungie. Don't ask me for a workshop in sexual techniques, though. There are parts of you I don't need to see.'
Time slipped away from all of them during midterms, and while Jinyoung had been adamant that he would stay vigilant this year and not let his birthday fall into the hands of his demonic housemates, he'd ended up swallowed by his coursework, assignments flooding in from every angle and distracting him entirely. He hadn't spoken to anyone in weeks, only leaving his room to use the bathroom or grab a bowl of cereal to take up to his room. There wasn't a corner or crevice of his bedroom that wasn't covered in paper or dirty dishes, stained coffee mugs and dog-eared notebooks.
Honestly he'd forgotten about his birthday completely. His parents usually sent him cards from their extended family and texted him constantly in the weeks leading up to it, but his phone was silent and his mailbox empty. He'd had no contact with them since his accidental coming out, yet he didn't miss them, instead feeling as if his shackles had been broken and he was free to live as who he truly was.
It was well past midnight when Mark gently rapped at his door, entering at Jinyoung's grunt and whistling when he took in the sight of the younger boy. Jinyoung was wearing his glasses, hunched over his desk like Quasimodo. His hair was greasy and pushed up in different directions from dragging his fingers through it in frustration and he'd been wearing the same pyjamas for at least a week, pulling them back on after every shower.
'You look horrible, Jinyoung.' Mark stated bluntly, throwing himself down on Jinyoung's bed lazily.
'Well some of us have to study.' Jinyoung retorted miserably, voice thick with lack of use. 'Not everyone can just wing it.'
'Dont be bitchy with me, I come bearing gifts. Take a break before you go blind.'
Jinyoung sighed, easily crumbling at the idea of a rest. His muscles ached from being seated for so many hours and he groaned when he stood and stretched, walking on wobbly legs to throw himself down beside Mark. 'Gifts?'
'You're going on a date tomorrow.'
'Eat shit.' Jinyoung grumbled into his duvet. He really wasn't in the mood for this.
'It's all arranged, birthday boy. I want you to get a good night's sleep tonight, I'll even make you breakfast and clean this pig sty up for you.'
Jinyoung sat up, eyeing the older boy suspiciously. 'What's the catch?'
Mark's eyes went wide, a sickeningly innocent expression on his face. 'There is no catch, how could you ever think such a thing?'
Jinyoung rolled his eyes, 'I'm not going. You've probably set me up with some dirty old man.'
'Trust me, this guy is hot. Who knows, you might even get laid.' Jinyoung scoffed and Mark sat up, placing his hands gently on the younger boys shoulders and fixing his eyes on him seriously. 'Now, Jinyoungie, do I need to tell you about where the boy parts go when two guys have sex?'
Jinyoung scrunched his face up. 'Don't patronize me, you shit.'
'So you know you have to clean down there pretty thoroughly, yeah? I have a spare douche-'
Jinyoung threw his head back in exasperation. 'Please spare me.'
'It's important though, I'm just looking after you.'
Mark patted his red cheek hard, making Jinyoung cringe before the older boy bounced up from the bed with wicked glee, bounding over to the door and throwing one last glance over his shoulder. 'You'll thank me when you see him, you know.' He reassured, dodging the pillow Jinyoung flung towards him and closing the door behind him.
Jinyoung didn't trust this for a second; even if Mark was being sincere, just the thought of going on a date made him sick with anxiety. What would he wear? What if the guy wasn't attracted to him at all or found him boring or disgusting in some way? If he was as devestatingly handsome as Mark was making him out to be, it would only make the rejection that much worse. He curled up in his bed with dread coiling around his guts, anxious for whatever horror awaited him tomorrow night.
When Jinyoung awoke he'd completely forgotten the events of the previous night, contentedly curling deeper into his duvet and clinging to the fuzzy tendrils of dreams. He felt a bony body collide with his own and it took a long wrestle for Jinyoung to finally roll out from under the sheets, disgruntled and bleary eyed.
Mark was grinning at him brightly, bouncing slightly on his knees. 'Are you excited?'
'Excited for what?' Jinyoung grumbled, rubbing at his eyes and yawning wide. 'Stop smiling, it's far too early.'
'It's 3pm you lazy shit. Your date will be meeting you at 7 in that bar we like-'
Jinyoung threw his head back, groaning. 'I thought you were joking.'
Mark mussed up his hair, grinning like a child. 'I'm gonna get you dressed up so pretty Jinyoungie.' He crooned, clutching Jinyoung by the shoulders and swaying him bodily side to side. 'If I don't hear this headboard banging when you get home you're in trouble.'
'What makes you think I'm gonna throw myself at this guy? Maybe I'm saving myself for marriage?' Jinyoung retorted primly, and Mark looked at him with dull eyes.
'Jinyoungie, just the other week you were saying how sexually frustrated you were and how it was only a matter of time before you just went and grabbed anyone from a gay bar and got the whole thing over with.' Jinyoung rolled his eyes, always being caught out by Mark's infallable memory. 'And besides, as I said before, this guy is gorgeous. I'm doing you a huge favour.'
'I'll be the judge of that. Nothing good ever happens on a birthday in this house.'
Mark stood and pulled Jinyoung's dead weight to his feet with effort, waving his limp arms around undeterred. 'I'd tell you to cheer up but it actually might be better for your cheeks to rest - you'll be grinning like an idiot tonight.'
'Whatever, whatever. Get out anyway I'm gonna take a shower.'
'Ah the troll leaves his cage. See, you are excited you little drama queen. Remember what I said about cleaning your a-'
'-if you don't shut up I'll tell Jackson we kissed.' Jinyoung raised an eyebrow, watching with satisfaction as Mark pouted in defeat. He patted Jinyoung's backside encouragingly, throwing a thumbs up before he descended the stairs whistling.
When Jinyoung stepped in the shower, he couldn't help but run every bad thing he'd ever done through his mind to try and figure out how he deserved this, how he'd come to live with such evil in his life. Sadly he found an endless amount of bad things in his memory and decided to just accept it for what it was. If the guy was gross, he could just walk away. If the guy was hot, he could walk away with a cell phone number that he'd always be afraid to message or answer the phone to. He'd survive.
He washed his hair thoroughly, feeling refreshed after his first full nights sleep of the whole month. He massaged his sore muscles, letting the hot water hit against the skin soothingly. There was one other thing he'd been too busy to do all month, and he felt his cock stirring between his legs. For some reason the idea of actually losing it tonight, of being held and touched or even just kissed had him aroused to the point of aching.
When his index finger was pushed in to the knuckle, his back arching and cock leaking as he leant heavily against the tiled wall, he couldn't help but wonder how it would feel to have somebody else touching him there, stretching him, fucking him open.
Just the thought alone, even without a face to focus on, had him coming hard, breaths shuddering and knees weak as he cleaned himself off lazily.
Stepping from the shower, he considered himself in the mirror, eyes searching for any blemishes on his pale skin, anything offputting or repulsive about his form. He'd always been skinny, but he kept fit, his arms lightly muscled and toned. His legs weren't short but the they weren't long either, skinny but not as thin as BamBam's. He grabbed a handful of his ass roughly, the flesh filling his palm nicely while not being too soft or too firm - his ass always got compliments, so it would be worth dressing to highlight the asset.
He ran his fingers down his chest until he felt course hair beneath the digits. A trim wouldn't go amiss, he thought. He was less nervous about his penis size than he'd always thought he would be when facing the prospect of intimacy, in fact he felt confident about it. It was average in every way, not small but not overly big either. It was weird to imagine someone seeing him like that, though; to have someone aroused by the sight of him naked, or turned on by the way he moved. In Jinyoung's eyes he just looked like a nervous, awkward little boy trying to be something he wasn't - desirable, sexy, loveable.
When he returned to his bedroom he was shocked to see the floor and surfaces free of clothes and paper, Mark and Jackson wrestling to get a fresh sheet on his mattress. He cleared his throat and the two giggling idiots turned to look at him, mirth in their eyes.
'We thought you'd want to have clean sheets if you're losing your maidenhood tonight.' Jackson supplied, 'We brought candles and everything, gonna make it really romantic.'
Jinyoung didn't see a reason to dignify that with a response, rolling his eyes and shuffling over to his wardrobe, towel clutched tightly around his waist.
'If you want to be useful, tell me what to wear.'
-
By 5:30pm he was free from Mark and Jackson's suffocating fussing, the two of them treating him like their favourite doll and parading him around in front of the rest of their housemates while Jinyoung grimaced and dragged his feet.
He had to admit that they'd made quite the... transformation. He'd always been a baggy cardigan or oversized hoodie matched with loose blue jeans kind of guy, but they had him in a red dress shirt and skinny black jeans fastened with a leather belt, feet slipped into dress shoes with a heel that even BamBam would approve of. Yugyeom let him borrow one of his stylish long black coats, too. Youngjae had insisted they gel his hair, and Jinyoung had ruled that only the barest amount was going anywhere near him. His hair was drawn away from his face for once, different to his usual flat short bangs.
Of course, BamBam had dragged him into the bathroom to plaster him with all kinds of concoctions he deemed 'makeup', bbcreaming him to oblivion and rubbing smokey khol subtly along the pinch of skin where his eyes ended. He looked older like this, more mature and together rather than the nervous, bowed backed 20 something that he was. The shoes made him stand straighter and the coat made him seem taller, the jeans hugging his ass just right while still giving his dick room to breathe, and the shirt was open enough at the collar to reveal his defined collarbones and elegant neck.
Mark and Jackson were like the adoring parents he'd never had, taking pictures of their son before he left for a prom Jinyoung never had the chance to go to.
By 6pm he'd resolved to get at least a little bit tipsy to calm his nerves, and soon the wine was flowing, the whole house sat around in the kitchen teasing him to death about how they'd lend him some condoms and how important lube was. Mark walked him to the front door, patting him on the back before pulling him into a rough hug. When he finally pulled away, Jinyoung almost thought he saw a tear in the older boys eye.
'Have a good time, Jinyoung. Don't feel like you have to do anything you don't want to, we all love you, you know that.'
Jinyoung looked at him as if he was from another planet. 'You're not making me feel any better, you know.' The whole lot of them were acting downright strange and his stomach was doing somersaults in anticipation of whoever or whatever was waiting for him at that bar.
'Do me proud, mom.' Mark wailed dramatically, waving him off. Even when Jinyoung sat at the bus stop down the street he could still see Mark waving, the rest of his housemates coming to join him as they wafted dishcloths as makeshift flags. This was all startlingly suspicious.
The whole bus ride was torture, seeming to take forever. He was going through every situation that could happen, constantly telling himself he could turn back at any moment and just run home. However, he felt like he needed to prove himself - even if Mark had said such comforting words, he still felt as if they'd be disappointed if he didn't at least try. Maybe he would make a friend tonight, if not something more. It would be an experience nonetheless, he surmised.
When he stepped off at a street in Itaewon close to a bar he and Mark often frequented, his palms were sweaty and he wondered if the deoderant he'd sprayed extremely liberally would even help the persperation collecting all over his body. It was a cold night, too, but he felt like he was on fire. His legs trembled as he approached his destination, and he had to hold on to a lamp post half way up the street to collect himself. After a quick mental pep talk, he reigned in his courage and stood outside the bar.
It was the first bar he and Mark had visited a year ago when they'd first met. They liked it because it was quiet, like them, yet still full of quirks and oddities. They always played throwback disco classics even though there was no dancefloor and every room had its own theme - the bar was made of old pianos and various other instruments, one seating lounge full of taxidermy animals, and the smoking area was an actual boat. Quirky.
As he stood there, someone caught his eye. Standing against the wall, a cigarette caught between his lips, was probably the most attractive man Jinyoung had ever had the pleasure to gaze upon. The red neon light above where he stood cast a glow upon his features, highlighting his sharp cheekbones and striking eyes. That's when Jinyoung noticed that he was staring back, and his gaze dropped sheepishly, looking anywhere but there.
He loitered for a moment, and the moment turned into minutes. He was growing colder by the second and a light rain had started to fall. As he pulled his coat tighter around himself, his eyes were drawn back to the man as he stubbed out his cigarette with expensive looking shoes. He followed his long, ripped black jean clad legs up to the well-fitting white dress shirt, the stylishly cut grey coat and was once again drawn to those eyes. The eyes that were still staring straight at him.
This time he turned away completely, fixing his gaze to a flattened piece of chewing gum marking the pavement. It was way past the arranged time, and he looked like a complete creep just standing there alone. The feeling of being stood up was something he hadn't experienced before, and his heart began to ache at the insult. He wondered if Mark had shown this person a picture of him, if he'd agreed to meet him out of politeness but had actually found him revolting.
It was then he felt a soft touch on his shoulder and a deep voice in his ear, freezing on the spot. 'You wouldn't happen to be Park Jinyoung, would you?'
Jinyoung turned to the voice, startled and wide eyed. His eyes only grew wider when he faced the man from before, strikingly gorgeous up close. He had two moles above one of his eyes, a mishmash of piercings in both ears and a smile like a cat. Jinyoung felt the breath leave him in a gust, and he cringed at the sound of his own voice. 'Yes, why?' He all but whimpered, the mans gaze was so strong Jinyoung felt like a moth drawn to the light.
The man's eyes roamed his face slowly, contemplatively, before he adressed Jinyoung once again with a voice like rich honey. 'Im Jaebum,' he offered his palm for a handshake, 'I'm your date for tonight.'
Pairing(s): JB/JR
Rating: NC17
Warning(s): Smoking, alcohol, prostitution
Summary: Jinyoung's housemates order him an escort for his 21st birthday, however things don't go as smoothly as they'd expected.
ONE
TWO
THREE
Jinyoung had grown up as an only child, coddled and suffocated by the love of his parent's. While he was thankful for their dedication and affection during his childhood, he also resented them for the way they had brought him up. His parents were obsessed with success; desperate to see their child grow and become what they could not. When he wanted to learn the violin, they signed him up for piano lessons. When he wanted to act, they told him to study so he could become a good doctor one day.
The only thing they couldn't take away from him were his books. He'd tape false covers to them, disguising his classics as various editions of 'Introduction to Medicine' and his English textbooks as dictionaries. There was no room for failure; there wasn't even the option - it didn't once cross his parent's minds that he wanted to be anything other than what they would make him. He was their project, and though he never went without any basic human needs or suffered any neglect, the love they gave him was cold, and he always found himself shivering in the wake of it.
School was a miserable time for him, studying subjects he had no interest in and knowing he had to succeed. The only respite from it all was the classes he'd sneak into in secret; study groups and after school clubs he'd disguise as extra credit for his other subjects. He had an aching passion for literature, reading words written centuries before he was born and still feeling the impact of them. While he was growing up, they gave him a warmth his parent's didn't know how to give, made him see a world they were too narrow minded to even explore.
Over time he'd become insecure; terrified of failure, of being a disappointment. Studying constantly, he couldn't make friends, couldn't talk to people. He felt that if he didn't live up to their expectations they wouldn't want to be around him anymore, wouldn't like him, wouldn't love him. Why risk the disappointment when you could just avoid it entirely?
He didn't lie to his parents when he enrolled in college - he took every syllabus they wanted him to. Jinyoung never lied - he decieved. The second he was out of the house and on the bus with luggage up to his ears, he was on his cellphone completely switching every major he'd signed up to. Instead of music he took theatre, instead of biology he took art history; classics, linguistics. He was free, and with freedom came the sudden knowledge that you were alone.
He didn't live on campus or in dorms, instead moving to a shared house with random tenants in various levels of study. He'd trembled all the way to the door, heart pounding and knees weak as he gathered the strength to keep his hand steady and unlock the door. By the end of the evening he'd already met one housemate, a Californian boy named Mark. He had a smile that set Jinyoung at ease and a calmness that made him feel like he couldn't disappoint him even if he tried. They were alone for a whole week before their other housemates were due to arrive, the two of them exploring the campus together and getting to know eachother.
He found out Mark was there on an acrobatics scholarship, taking a few - in his words - easy subjects on the side. It was the day before a new housemate was due to arrive that Jinyoung had his first taste of alcohol at the ripe age of twenty, and the two of them shared secrets in the safety of cheap wine and Netflix. He was loose enough to relieve the burden of hiding his sexuality, finding a spark of joy in the knowledge that Mark was the same - and proud of it.
Jinyoung didn't know you could be proud of such a thing, always believing it was something shameful and dirty; because that was what his parent's thought, what they said right in front of him while they read an article about a boy committing suicide because of his 'mental illness'. He'd vowed never to tell them who he really was, and even Mark's confidence didn't sway him on that matter.
BamBam was a shock to his system when he first tumbled through the door like a hurricane, but Jinyoung quickly developed a deep affection for the kid. Once again Jinyoung was shown the narrowness of his own life when BamBam invited his boyfriend, Yugyeom, over within the first few months of the semester. Jinyoung struggled to believe there were so many people like him living without fear of judgement or disgust.
Yugyeom was Mark's favourite, the highschooler visiting so often he could have lived there if Mark had his way. When it came to favourites, though, Youngjae had a special place in Jinyoung's heart.
Youngjae had moved in a month after the start of the semester, having had trouble with the paperwork and ending up delayed until it all went through. The poor guy had the shock of his life upon opening the door and coming face to face with a very naked BamBam, who'd thought it was Jinyoung coming home and had stripped to give him a heart attack. In the end it was the younger boy who got the life scared out of him - karma was a bitch. Somehow instead of being a source of awkwardness, the abrupt greeting made the two of them like super glue.
By the time they'd all settled in, Jinyoung felt like he had a family there - a family that didn't want him to be anyone but who he was.
That was when the torture began. Everyone had to endure it - not just Jinyoung - but it was he who dreaded it the most in the end.
On Yugyeoms 18th birthday they'd all pretended to have forgotten, resulting in an unexpected amount of tears from the gentle giant and a whole load of apologising from his hyungs. For BamBam's 19th they had shaved his charismatic eyebrows off in his sleep, and for Youngjae's 20th they poured one of his beers out and filled it with vinegar instead. Mark wasn't so easy to play with, the older boy always seeming to emit an aura that told you not to fuck with him, so they decided to go about his birthday in a different way. It was on Mark's 23rd birthday that he walked into his bedroom to find an extremely naked - save for a bouquet of roses and a bottle of champagne discreetly covering his genitals - Jackson Wang, whom the older boy had been quite vocally crushing on for a while. In a way that one backfired, because Mark ended up getting the best screw of his life and a boyfriend in just one night.
Jinyoung didn't know he had such a devious streak in him, but he supposed after some deep thought that he'd always been sneaking around behind his parents backs, tricking them constantly. He liked to tease and play games as long as nobody got hurt physically or emotionally - he'd hugged Yugyeom until he couldn't breathe when he'd started to cry, horrified to have upset him. So when the bottle span and landed on him, he was suddenly caught off guard. For some reason he hadn't realised he'd be on the recieving end of the birthday tradition at some point, so he'd gone through the day without any sense of suspicion. They'd drank until the fridge was empty, and Jinyoung hadn't noticed that it was him who'd drank most of it, nor did he see the shiftiness in his friend's eyes, the constant encouragement they'd given him to drink up.
The next thing he knew he was being talked into going to a gay bar by an overly eager BamBam, and at some point along the way Jackson had joined them. Yugyeom didn't even need a fake ID to get in with the sheer size of him, whereas BamBam majored in IT and had a fresh one for Jinyoung and Jackson within fifteen minutes. He'd never been to a club, nevermind a gay one. The strobe lights and pounding music had made him feel like he was spinning and the sheer amount of flesh on display turned his eyes to saucers.
To give credit to his friends, their only intention had been to take him out of his comfort zone and hopefully show him that he wasn't alone. They had no way of knowing that one bottle of poppers and four rounds of shots bought for him by random guys would result in him taking half of his clothes off and grinding filthily against three men in bondage gear, suspended in a cage while they squirted whipped cream down the front of his pants and poured water all over him. Jackson and Mark were snapping pictures all over the place while Jinyoung partied on blindly, taking numbers from guys he wouldn't remember the faces of and getting drinks bought for him left and right.
He vaguely recalled dancing on the bar with Youngjae and trying to choreograph a strip tease, resulting in the younger boy slipping off the counter and falling heavily into a random guys lap. Before, he'd been pretty sure Youngjae was straight, but after what he saw the boy doing by 5am... he couldn't be so certain anymore.
He'd woken up with the worst hangover he could ever imagine a human being experiencing, sticky and still dressed in the clothes he was wearing before. Rolling over to the sound of his phone going crazy, he saw 44 missed calls and hundreds of texts - all from his parent's. At first he'd thought there'd been some kind of accident or tragedy in the family, but upon checking his facebook notifications quickly he saw what the urgency was. He guessed he should have told Mark he had his parents on there, that they'd see the 400 pictures he was tagged in from that night.
It had taken hours for his parents to finish yelling down the line; after a while he'd just rolled beneath the covers and mumbled 'yep' at every gap in their sermon. When he'd finally dragged himself downstairs, finding his housemates in the kitchen looking extremely guilty, he didn't feel anything but relief. If his parents knew this, there was nothing worse he had to hide.
It turned out that his parents had stalked the rest of the guys' profiles and called them up too, giving each of them a talking to they wouldn't forget. They'd expected Jinyoung to be a sobbing mess or wildly angry, but instead he'd just fallen into Mark's warm embrace, weak from having carried such a heavy weight for so long. He wouldn't forget the love he'd felt from them when he'd been crushed into a group hug; Jackson's strong arms around his neck like a noose and BamBam's boney elbows jabbing him in the hip. Whatever his parent's felt, whether they'd ever want him back, he had enough love and acceptance with these boys to survive without anything else. He was like their mother, and they were his children, as dysfunctional a family as they might have been. In just one year he'd found more love than he'd had in a lifetime.
However, as filled with relief and love as he was, he was still utterly mortified. Yugyeom insisted on bringing memories of that night back to him for weeks afterwards, greedy to embarrass his hyung's at all times. BamBam would imitate his reaction to his first experience with poppers, insisting that Jinyoung hadn't stopped commenting on how 'loose they made his butthole feel' and how he had continually stated that he was 'so hardcore for taking drugs'. Jackson had basically moved in with them after a while, and he'd often tell of how much of a hero he was that night for stopping Jinyoung from going home with a man three times his age and - in Jackson's opinion - probably affiliated with the mafia, even though Jinyoung had insisted he was in love with him and planned to elope.
Mark was mute on the matter, but in Jinyoung's eyes the silence was even worse, deafening, because he was sure the older boy had seen everything and was just waiting for Jinyoung to fuck up so he could use it as revenge. Youngjae didn't, and never would, say a word about that night, because the whole house had seen the disasterous antics he'd got up to in the club. Jinyoung would even venture to say the younger boy had embarrassed himself more than him, so at least there was someone worse off.
After Jinyoung's birthday fiasco, rather than learning from their mistakes, the bar only got higher. When Yugyeom turned 19, they blindfolded him and snuck him into a strip club. The lot of them got blind drunk, resulting in them having to drag the younger boy off the stage when he started giving the strippers a run for their money. On the way out a manager had even grabbed him and asked if he wanted a job.
For BamBam's 20th, they cut holes into the back pockets of every pair of jeans the guy owned, and the kid didn't notice until he got kicked out of his internship for inappropriate attire. That was a day he'd decided to forgo underwear, looking very fetching in his homemade denim assless chaps.
Youngjae had a gig at the student union planned for the week after his birthday, so they'd suggested an English song for him to perform; Mark and Jackson translating it incorrectly when he'd asked what the words meant, which resulted in every international student dying of laughter at his crooning, soulful rendition of "Boy is a Bottom".
The day before Mark's 25th, Jinyoung had snuck into the bathroom the older boy had for himself on the top floor while he was out, replacing his moisturiser with tanning solution and swapping the bottles in his unopened hair dye boxes with a semi-permanent shocking blue. When the older boy had got home, he'd offered to dye his hair for him, which he often did; the older boy had an obsession with keeping his red hair vibrant. Seeing Mark come downstairs in the morning with blue hair, a face like thunder and his usually porcelain skin now the colour of a Dorito was enough to dissolve the whole kitchen into a fit of hysterics. The only thing that saved Jinyoung from a beating was Kackson's heated proclamation of how much he loved Doritos and how he wanted to see if Mark tasted like one - to which the beating passed to him instead.
Jackson hadn't been in on the birthday ritual before, and while he was excited about it, in the end he was the same as the rest of them - filled with the need to get revenge whenever the next birthday came around. He was at their college on a fencing scholarship, and Mark threw his entire fencing uniform into the wash with all the coloured clothing he could find. The older boy packed his backpack that night, and Jackson had taken it as a sweet display of affection, bouncing off to campus with butterflies in his chest only to scream the locker room down when he pulled out the mess of pink his outfit had been reduced to. He had a league tournament that day.
It was during a short holiday break that they'd gathered together for a party, actually inviting people from outside their group for the first time. The alcohol was flowing and the music was bursting Jinyoung's eardrums open while he danced his heart away. He danced with a girl he recognised from his drama group - Bae Suji, he recalled - for almost half the night, engrossed in the masterclass she was giving him on how to body roll and slut drop. He caught Youngjae watching with glazed over eyes and ended up suspending his lesson for the night to invite the younger boy in his place; wicked delight rising in him at the sight of Youngjae turning tomato red and struggling to make coherent sounds, nevermind move his limbs to a rhythm.
When he wandered back into the living room through the throng of people, he was met with the sight of the rest of his housemates and a few randomers sat in a circle, red cups clutched in hand. He sat beside Jackson curiously, asking what they were doing. Jackson only handed him a cup, smirking deviously. '21 truths, glad you could join us. I'm sure a lot of useful information will be shared tonight.'
Somehow Mark was insanely good at evading the 21, whilst BamBam was the biggest black hole. It was shocking to hear the amount of sexual situations the younger boy had experienced, and Yugyeom's face was a startling shade of red by the fifth question - something Jinyoung didn't want to hear the answer to ever again for the sake of being able to look the two of them in the eyes in the future.
Jinyoung's heart almost stopped when the girl to his left finished on 20, the number 21 leaving his lips like a death sentence as his housemates looked upon him in glee. Yugyeom was the first to get a question in, desperate to get revenge for how much Jinyoung had laughed at his embarrassment.
'Hyung, how many guys have you been with?'
Jinyoung felt relief wash over him at the simplicity of the question, expecting it to be some horrifyingly personal revelation. 'None, I'm a virgin. Never even been kissed.' He brought his cup to his lips nonchalantly, but paused mid-gulp at the silence that had settled over the group. 'What?'
'You're a virgin?' Jackson screeched, 'Don't fuck with us.'
'Why is it so surprising?' He was suddenly feeling the need to defend himself, as if he'd just been caught for a crime he'd committed.
'Are you one of those abstinence people?' BamBam gasped with a look of wonderment, and Jinyoung scrunched his face up in astonishment.
'No, it-it just hasn't happened yet! Why are you making a big deal out of it?'
'Cos' you're hot.' A girl cooed across from him, 'I guess we all just assume cute people are getting the good stuff day and night.'
'Are you afraid of losing it?' 'Do you avoid getting into situations where it might happen?' 'Surely you must have been approached by somebody?' The questions came one after the other like gunfire and Jinyoung was almost sweating to be so in the spotlight, especially around people he didn't know from Adam as they pried into his private life.
'Can we stop talking about this now?' He mumbled, mood truly turning for the worst at the inquisition. While he couldn't quite place why the questioning had upset him so much, he just knew it wasn't anyone's place to be asking, and he definitely didn't have to give an answer to anybody. The chatter rose up again as they tried to cheer him up - as well as a few others still trying to pry information out of this apparently rare creature they called a virgin - but Jinyoung just shook his head, groggily swaying to his feet and climbing the stairs to his bedroom.
Within five minutes of being slumped against the door it opened hard, slamming into his back, followed by a rushed apology as Mark squeezed in through the small gap. The older boy came to sit beside him on the floor, pulling him against his shoulder comfortingly. 'You okay kiddo?'
'I didn't know it was so weird to be a virgin at my age, I'm only twenty.' He sighed heavily, 'Is there something wrong with me, Mark?'
Mark huffed, 'There's a lot of things wrong with you, but nothing to do with that situation.' Jinyoung cracked a smile at that before Mark continued, 'It'll happen when it happens, if you even want it to happen; asexuals exist too, there's nothing weird about it. I'm surprised you've never been kissed, though.'
Jinyoung shrugged miserably. 'I never spoke to anyone all through school and my parents didn't give me any time to have friends anyway. I didn't go to parties or socialise until I came here, when was I supposed to find somebody willing to kiss me?'
Mark put his serious face on. 'Do you think you subconsciously avoid situations where somebody might be interested in you because you're scared of your inexperience?' Of course, Jinyoung had to get stuck with the fucking Psych student. 'Or you feel they might be repulsed by you, or disappointed with what they find if they get closer?'
'Spare me the evaluation, please.' Jinyoung groaned.
'If you want I can teach you how to kiss.' Mark offered openly, and Jinyoung looked at him quizzically, eyebrow raised as his body tensed. 'I'm not tricking you, Jinyoung. If anybody knows you, it's me - I wouldn't treat you any differently afterwards, and there's no way I can be disappointed because I don't want a relationship with you like that. It's up to you.'
Sometimes he really hated how straight forward Mark could make things seem, especially as Jinyoung liked to be right. It would make sense to at least know what he was in for when it came to kissing, because it was true that the fear made him hesistate when a conversation got heated or somebody looked at him in a way that made his skin tingle.
He gave a small nod, barely noticable but Mark caught it and squeezed his shoulder. 'Just remember that you don't have to be perfect, nobody is grading you, nobody is going to be disappointed with you. When I had my first kiss I got my braces stuck in a girls tongue piercing and had to go to the A&E with her dad while I was still joined to his daughters face. Even if it's awkward or it goes completely wrong, you can still look back on it and laugh. It will get better the more you do it - and it depends who you're doing it with.'
Jinyoung was gaining confidence from Mark's comforting words, steeling himself for the plunge into uncharted waters he was about to take. Seeing Mark's face so close to his almost made him jump back, but the older placed a grounding hand at his neck, thumb rubbing comforting circles to the back of his ear as he pulled him closer. He watched the older boys eyes flutter shut, hot breath ghosting over Jinyoung's lips before he felt the warmth against his own. It was chaste, and Mark pulled back as soon as he did it with a cheeky smile.
'Is that it?' Jinyoung spluttered indignantly, feeling like he'd been set up. Mark only giggled, shaking his head.
'Of course not, I just wanted to check if you were okay. Anytime you want to back out just bite me or something.'
Jinyoung nodded, nervous again. Mark resumed his previous position of holding Jinyoung steady, this time pressing his lips against Jinyoung's more firmly, pushing at the soft flesh and beckoning Jinyoung to turn his head this way and that with just the gentle pressure of his hand. Jinyoung felt well out of his depth, but he followed Mark's lead anyway, tentatively kissing the older boy back and copying whatever he'd been doing so far. Mark's lips were soft and he was careful, slow and intent on putting Jinyoung at ease.
When Jinyoung finally ran out of breath, he broke away panting, trying to ignore the knowing smirk on Mark's lips.
'Dont fall in love with me, Jinyoungie, my lips belong to another.'
'Dont remind me where your mouth has been, please.' Jinyoung retorted, getting a slap on his arm in return.
'Wanna do tongue?'
'I think I'll leave that for my true love - I'd rather not have the second-hand aftertaste of Jackson's dick-' Mark punched him hard in the shoulder, making him fall to the ground in overexaggerated pain. The two of them dissolved into laughter, and Jinyoung was thankful they were close enough for the whole situation to seem so natural.
When Jinyoung had finally caught his breath, he sighed. 'Thanks, Mark. You didn't have to do that.'
Mark only winked, messing up the younger boys hair playfully. 'Anything for you, Jinyoungie. Don't ask me for a workshop in sexual techniques, though. There are parts of you I don't need to see.'
Time slipped away from all of them during midterms, and while Jinyoung had been adamant that he would stay vigilant this year and not let his birthday fall into the hands of his demonic housemates, he'd ended up swallowed by his coursework, assignments flooding in from every angle and distracting him entirely. He hadn't spoken to anyone in weeks, only leaving his room to use the bathroom or grab a bowl of cereal to take up to his room. There wasn't a corner or crevice of his bedroom that wasn't covered in paper or dirty dishes, stained coffee mugs and dog-eared notebooks.
Honestly he'd forgotten about his birthday completely. His parents usually sent him cards from their extended family and texted him constantly in the weeks leading up to it, but his phone was silent and his mailbox empty. He'd had no contact with them since his accidental coming out, yet he didn't miss them, instead feeling as if his shackles had been broken and he was free to live as who he truly was.
It was well past midnight when Mark gently rapped at his door, entering at Jinyoung's grunt and whistling when he took in the sight of the younger boy. Jinyoung was wearing his glasses, hunched over his desk like Quasimodo. His hair was greasy and pushed up in different directions from dragging his fingers through it in frustration and he'd been wearing the same pyjamas for at least a week, pulling them back on after every shower.
'You look horrible, Jinyoung.' Mark stated bluntly, throwing himself down on Jinyoung's bed lazily.
'Well some of us have to study.' Jinyoung retorted miserably, voice thick with lack of use. 'Not everyone can just wing it.'
'Dont be bitchy with me, I come bearing gifts. Take a break before you go blind.'
Jinyoung sighed, easily crumbling at the idea of a rest. His muscles ached from being seated for so many hours and he groaned when he stood and stretched, walking on wobbly legs to throw himself down beside Mark. 'Gifts?'
'You're going on a date tomorrow.'
'Eat shit.' Jinyoung grumbled into his duvet. He really wasn't in the mood for this.
'It's all arranged, birthday boy. I want you to get a good night's sleep tonight, I'll even make you breakfast and clean this pig sty up for you.'
Jinyoung sat up, eyeing the older boy suspiciously. 'What's the catch?'
Mark's eyes went wide, a sickeningly innocent expression on his face. 'There is no catch, how could you ever think such a thing?'
Jinyoung rolled his eyes, 'I'm not going. You've probably set me up with some dirty old man.'
'Trust me, this guy is hot. Who knows, you might even get laid.' Jinyoung scoffed and Mark sat up, placing his hands gently on the younger boys shoulders and fixing his eyes on him seriously. 'Now, Jinyoungie, do I need to tell you about where the boy parts go when two guys have sex?'
Jinyoung scrunched his face up. 'Don't patronize me, you shit.'
'So you know you have to clean down there pretty thoroughly, yeah? I have a spare douche-'
Jinyoung threw his head back in exasperation. 'Please spare me.'
'It's important though, I'm just looking after you.'
Mark patted his red cheek hard, making Jinyoung cringe before the older boy bounced up from the bed with wicked glee, bounding over to the door and throwing one last glance over his shoulder. 'You'll thank me when you see him, you know.' He reassured, dodging the pillow Jinyoung flung towards him and closing the door behind him.
Jinyoung didn't trust this for a second; even if Mark was being sincere, just the thought of going on a date made him sick with anxiety. What would he wear? What if the guy wasn't attracted to him at all or found him boring or disgusting in some way? If he was as devestatingly handsome as Mark was making him out to be, it would only make the rejection that much worse. He curled up in his bed with dread coiling around his guts, anxious for whatever horror awaited him tomorrow night.
When Jinyoung awoke he'd completely forgotten the events of the previous night, contentedly curling deeper into his duvet and clinging to the fuzzy tendrils of dreams. He felt a bony body collide with his own and it took a long wrestle for Jinyoung to finally roll out from under the sheets, disgruntled and bleary eyed.
Mark was grinning at him brightly, bouncing slightly on his knees. 'Are you excited?'
'Excited for what?' Jinyoung grumbled, rubbing at his eyes and yawning wide. 'Stop smiling, it's far too early.'
'It's 3pm you lazy shit. Your date will be meeting you at 7 in that bar we like-'
Jinyoung threw his head back, groaning. 'I thought you were joking.'
Mark mussed up his hair, grinning like a child. 'I'm gonna get you dressed up so pretty Jinyoungie.' He crooned, clutching Jinyoung by the shoulders and swaying him bodily side to side. 'If I don't hear this headboard banging when you get home you're in trouble.'
'What makes you think I'm gonna throw myself at this guy? Maybe I'm saving myself for marriage?' Jinyoung retorted primly, and Mark looked at him with dull eyes.
'Jinyoungie, just the other week you were saying how sexually frustrated you were and how it was only a matter of time before you just went and grabbed anyone from a gay bar and got the whole thing over with.' Jinyoung rolled his eyes, always being caught out by Mark's infallable memory. 'And besides, as I said before, this guy is gorgeous. I'm doing you a huge favour.'
'I'll be the judge of that. Nothing good ever happens on a birthday in this house.'
Mark stood and pulled Jinyoung's dead weight to his feet with effort, waving his limp arms around undeterred. 'I'd tell you to cheer up but it actually might be better for your cheeks to rest - you'll be grinning like an idiot tonight.'
'Whatever, whatever. Get out anyway I'm gonna take a shower.'
'Ah the troll leaves his cage. See, you are excited you little drama queen. Remember what I said about cleaning your a-'
'-if you don't shut up I'll tell Jackson we kissed.' Jinyoung raised an eyebrow, watching with satisfaction as Mark pouted in defeat. He patted Jinyoung's backside encouragingly, throwing a thumbs up before he descended the stairs whistling.
When Jinyoung stepped in the shower, he couldn't help but run every bad thing he'd ever done through his mind to try and figure out how he deserved this, how he'd come to live with such evil in his life. Sadly he found an endless amount of bad things in his memory and decided to just accept it for what it was. If the guy was gross, he could just walk away. If the guy was hot, he could walk away with a cell phone number that he'd always be afraid to message or answer the phone to. He'd survive.
He washed his hair thoroughly, feeling refreshed after his first full nights sleep of the whole month. He massaged his sore muscles, letting the hot water hit against the skin soothingly. There was one other thing he'd been too busy to do all month, and he felt his cock stirring between his legs. For some reason the idea of actually losing it tonight, of being held and touched or even just kissed had him aroused to the point of aching.
When his index finger was pushed in to the knuckle, his back arching and cock leaking as he leant heavily against the tiled wall, he couldn't help but wonder how it would feel to have somebody else touching him there, stretching him, fucking him open.
Just the thought alone, even without a face to focus on, had him coming hard, breaths shuddering and knees weak as he cleaned himself off lazily.
Stepping from the shower, he considered himself in the mirror, eyes searching for any blemishes on his pale skin, anything offputting or repulsive about his form. He'd always been skinny, but he kept fit, his arms lightly muscled and toned. His legs weren't short but the they weren't long either, skinny but not as thin as BamBam's. He grabbed a handful of his ass roughly, the flesh filling his palm nicely while not being too soft or too firm - his ass always got compliments, so it would be worth dressing to highlight the asset.
He ran his fingers down his chest until he felt course hair beneath the digits. A trim wouldn't go amiss, he thought. He was less nervous about his penis size than he'd always thought he would be when facing the prospect of intimacy, in fact he felt confident about it. It was average in every way, not small but not overly big either. It was weird to imagine someone seeing him like that, though; to have someone aroused by the sight of him naked, or turned on by the way he moved. In Jinyoung's eyes he just looked like a nervous, awkward little boy trying to be something he wasn't - desirable, sexy, loveable.
When he returned to his bedroom he was shocked to see the floor and surfaces free of clothes and paper, Mark and Jackson wrestling to get a fresh sheet on his mattress. He cleared his throat and the two giggling idiots turned to look at him, mirth in their eyes.
'We thought you'd want to have clean sheets if you're losing your maidenhood tonight.' Jackson supplied, 'We brought candles and everything, gonna make it really romantic.'
Jinyoung didn't see a reason to dignify that with a response, rolling his eyes and shuffling over to his wardrobe, towel clutched tightly around his waist.
'If you want to be useful, tell me what to wear.'
-
By 5:30pm he was free from Mark and Jackson's suffocating fussing, the two of them treating him like their favourite doll and parading him around in front of the rest of their housemates while Jinyoung grimaced and dragged his feet.
He had to admit that they'd made quite the... transformation. He'd always been a baggy cardigan or oversized hoodie matched with loose blue jeans kind of guy, but they had him in a red dress shirt and skinny black jeans fastened with a leather belt, feet slipped into dress shoes with a heel that even BamBam would approve of. Yugyeom let him borrow one of his stylish long black coats, too. Youngjae had insisted they gel his hair, and Jinyoung had ruled that only the barest amount was going anywhere near him. His hair was drawn away from his face for once, different to his usual flat short bangs.
Of course, BamBam had dragged him into the bathroom to plaster him with all kinds of concoctions he deemed 'makeup', bbcreaming him to oblivion and rubbing smokey khol subtly along the pinch of skin where his eyes ended. He looked older like this, more mature and together rather than the nervous, bowed backed 20 something that he was. The shoes made him stand straighter and the coat made him seem taller, the jeans hugging his ass just right while still giving his dick room to breathe, and the shirt was open enough at the collar to reveal his defined collarbones and elegant neck.
Mark and Jackson were like the adoring parents he'd never had, taking pictures of their son before he left for a prom Jinyoung never had the chance to go to.
By 6pm he'd resolved to get at least a little bit tipsy to calm his nerves, and soon the wine was flowing, the whole house sat around in the kitchen teasing him to death about how they'd lend him some condoms and how important lube was. Mark walked him to the front door, patting him on the back before pulling him into a rough hug. When he finally pulled away, Jinyoung almost thought he saw a tear in the older boys eye.
'Have a good time, Jinyoung. Don't feel like you have to do anything you don't want to, we all love you, you know that.'
Jinyoung looked at him as if he was from another planet. 'You're not making me feel any better, you know.' The whole lot of them were acting downright strange and his stomach was doing somersaults in anticipation of whoever or whatever was waiting for him at that bar.
'Do me proud, mom.' Mark wailed dramatically, waving him off. Even when Jinyoung sat at the bus stop down the street he could still see Mark waving, the rest of his housemates coming to join him as they wafted dishcloths as makeshift flags. This was all startlingly suspicious.
The whole bus ride was torture, seeming to take forever. He was going through every situation that could happen, constantly telling himself he could turn back at any moment and just run home. However, he felt like he needed to prove himself - even if Mark had said such comforting words, he still felt as if they'd be disappointed if he didn't at least try. Maybe he would make a friend tonight, if not something more. It would be an experience nonetheless, he surmised.
When he stepped off at a street in Itaewon close to a bar he and Mark often frequented, his palms were sweaty and he wondered if the deoderant he'd sprayed extremely liberally would even help the persperation collecting all over his body. It was a cold night, too, but he felt like he was on fire. His legs trembled as he approached his destination, and he had to hold on to a lamp post half way up the street to collect himself. After a quick mental pep talk, he reigned in his courage and stood outside the bar.
It was the first bar he and Mark had visited a year ago when they'd first met. They liked it because it was quiet, like them, yet still full of quirks and oddities. They always played throwback disco classics even though there was no dancefloor and every room had its own theme - the bar was made of old pianos and various other instruments, one seating lounge full of taxidermy animals, and the smoking area was an actual boat. Quirky.
As he stood there, someone caught his eye. Standing against the wall, a cigarette caught between his lips, was probably the most attractive man Jinyoung had ever had the pleasure to gaze upon. The red neon light above where he stood cast a glow upon his features, highlighting his sharp cheekbones and striking eyes. That's when Jinyoung noticed that he was staring back, and his gaze dropped sheepishly, looking anywhere but there.
He loitered for a moment, and the moment turned into minutes. He was growing colder by the second and a light rain had started to fall. As he pulled his coat tighter around himself, his eyes were drawn back to the man as he stubbed out his cigarette with expensive looking shoes. He followed his long, ripped black jean clad legs up to the well-fitting white dress shirt, the stylishly cut grey coat and was once again drawn to those eyes. The eyes that were still staring straight at him.
This time he turned away completely, fixing his gaze to a flattened piece of chewing gum marking the pavement. It was way past the arranged time, and he looked like a complete creep just standing there alone. The feeling of being stood up was something he hadn't experienced before, and his heart began to ache at the insult. He wondered if Mark had shown this person a picture of him, if he'd agreed to meet him out of politeness but had actually found him revolting.
It was then he felt a soft touch on his shoulder and a deep voice in his ear, freezing on the spot. 'You wouldn't happen to be Park Jinyoung, would you?'
Jinyoung turned to the voice, startled and wide eyed. His eyes only grew wider when he faced the man from before, strikingly gorgeous up close. He had two moles above one of his eyes, a mishmash of piercings in both ears and a smile like a cat. Jinyoung felt the breath leave him in a gust, and he cringed at the sound of his own voice. 'Yes, why?' He all but whimpered, the mans gaze was so strong Jinyoung felt like a moth drawn to the light.
The man's eyes roamed his face slowly, contemplatively, before he adressed Jinyoung once again with a voice like rich honey. 'Im Jaebum,' he offered his palm for a handshake, 'I'm your date for tonight.'