When I have to mentally catalog how to keep myself safe, you're doing it wrong

[merhawk]

Last week Tuesday I went to get two of my tires replaced. I thought the America's Tire by 237 & El Camino Real was open longer; as it was I slipped in as their last customer of the night

Comments

[rimrunner]

Yeah, this.

[silmaril]

Pretty much this, yes.

Mind if I point this entry out to a couple of friends, Hawk? I notice it isn't locked.

[merhawk]

Thanks, and yes. If I leave something unlocked, it's okay for linkage.

[rimrunner]

What an asshole.

I hope his manager filleted him.

[merhawk]

I suspect he'll get reamed since someone's going to notice that he gave a tire away for free. However, I also suspect that the guy whom I think was his manager didn't hear the whole thing and the interaction will be shaded somehow to be my fault.

Yeah. My fault that he had to ask why I'm rude, because I haggled & was annoyed when he ignored the parts numbers I gave him.

I keep debating about writing a letter to the company. My desire to write the letter is fighting against the socialization that says I shouldn't be churlish, he gave me a free tire! Along with trying to figure out if this is a fight that's worthwhile to dredge up the energy to push.

[stoneself]

+1

[mice]

I've been noticing this more and more, like on stage. Improv is definitely male dominated. I'm an aggressive player so if I do something, there is an incredible jerk (who I've come to think of as a jerk due to this behavior) who will question me about the choices I made - not to better understand it, but so he can say what I could have done better. Not in his opinion, just what I could have done better. He doesn't do this for anyone else and the girls on his team are very compliant and will compliment his scenes to a high degree instead of initiating, which is what I do.

It's the awesome combo of being a girl and being younger, despite having more experience than this guy.

[merhawk]

You're not aggressive, you're assertive and self-assured. When we allow our interactions that are exactly like our male counterparts to be labeled as "aggressive" when theirs are considered being "assertive" or "self-assured", it hurts us. And it reinforces for them, too, a stereotype they might not consciously realize they buy into.

That guy sounds like a Grade A jerk. Do you have a way to point this out to him without it backfiring on you?