FLAMES ON THE SIDE OF MY FACE

[mercuriazs]

So last I heard, it was National Coming Out Day.

NOT National Let's Talk About Jesus Day.

A girl I know who is a generally lovely person and a great blues dancer, who has stayed at my house, and whom I consider a relatively decent dancer friend, posted the following note to Facebook: It's National Coming Out Day. I'm coming out with the Truth.You

Comments

[austen]

Dude, that status is awesome, and I kind of want to steal it for my own status. :D

[mercuriazs]

DO IT. BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE OR SOMETHING.

oh god I'm so angry.

[austen]

It's great! Love is acceptance, not judgment. For serious.

[irisbleufic]

<3

And *hugs*

[mercuriazs]

HUG.

[mercuriazs]

iluuuuuuuu.

... and I feel really sorry for my friends who saw me in RAGE MODE. I was basically shrieking in the coffeehouse. *kind of cracking up about it now*

they were like "go do something ... positive ...!"

[syncopated_time]

I would seriously call her out on it. I would unleash all barrels of verbal fury onto this person, so myopic and blinded by dogma that she would struggle to CRUSH love instead of promote it.

But you know, although I'm already composing some choice vitriol in my head, I don't think I need to use it. Why?

Because she has already set herself up to be miserable. First, she's denying herself love by cheapening and rejecting a part of herself that is clearly capable of love. Second, she's basically taking the love that God gave her and spitting on it. I'm not a Christian in any sense of the word but when you take ANY gift so precious, given to you by ANY god and you spit on it like that... Well, I'm not going to say lightening bolts from the heavens (oh, if only it were so easy!) but the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away

[mercuriazs]

I realize I honestly can't wish her ill, because it makes me feel icky. :/

But I'm sure you're right. Stomping on love is probably not a good road to emotional health.

I am glad I made my status what I did, although now I'm itching to figure out what the next step is. "Taking action" is very elusive to me these days.

[gao]

There are two things you need to be conscious of here.

The first is that this girl lives in a fundamentally different universe than you do. She accepts different fundamental principles about the nature of reality and is making her decisions within that framework. It's entirely possible that within that framework her actions are motivated by the best intentions and yes, by love.

If you believe a house is on fire, you try to get people out. There is not much of a counterargument you can make to that.

The second is that it sounds like she believes in this worldview not out of ignorance or out of honest philosophical differences, but because she's suffered dangerous and extensive emotional abuse. In that sense, too, she lives in an utterly different universe than you do. She hasn't had the privilege of your education, your friends, your family, a network that would support you no matter who you loved; she's had bullying and poison.

She is not your enemy.

[mercuriazs]

Yeah. :/ I realized that when I called my mom.

Not sure what to do about/with this post in the meantime-- but it does make me feel better that I chose to go the route of positive karma rather than fighting with her.

[gao]

Definitely. I think your status update was an excellent way to deal with the situation, don't get me wrong.

[mercuriazs]

... although upon reflection (of five minutes), I am actually relieved that this is my gut-level reaction to intolerance, no matter who it comes from or why.

I was afraid I had lost that ability to be passionate.