I Have To Do Something, by With_apostrophe, (Getting to Know You Challenge)
Title: I Have To Do Something
Pairing or Character(s): MENSA!John, Rod & MENSA!Jeannie
SGA-verse or MENSA-verse: MENSA-verse
Warnings: None
Word count: 3800
Summary: When Rod invites John to spend Christmas at Jeannie's, they all get more than they bargained for.
AN: Written for the “Getting to know you” challenge - on the last day because that's when I stumbled across it! Also this is the first fic I've written where there hasn't been an image as an integral part of the story. It feels very strange not having one!
---
When Jeannie opened the door there was a look on her face that Rod knew very well - utter delight at seeing her beloved older brother again.
“Rod!” she squealed, and flung her arms around his neck in a bear hug.
He grinned and lifted her up off of the ground.
“Happy Christmas little sis’!”
“Hey!” she protested letting him go and stepping back far enough to swipe him gently on the side of the head. “Not so little!” and stroking her stomach with her other hand.
“You’re pregnant again? That’s great! Congratulations!” They embraced again, Rod quickly kissing her on the cheek as they pulled away. Hearing the distant sound of footsteps on Jeannie’s wooden passageway Rod crouched down and began to ask in a loud voice,
“So where are my - owf! - superheroes?!” interrupted when two small boys barrelled their way into his arms and briefly knocked the breath out of him.
“Uncle Rod! Uncle Rod!” they cried, both trying to squirm into his lap.
“Hey, hey, you can take turns later!” he admonished them fondly, ruffling their hair. “And there she is-“ he said, scraping the twins off his knees and standing up again to see the golden-haired girl standing in the doorway, with a slightly shy look on her face.
“-the beautiful Princess Madison!” at which she overcame her shyness and hurled herself into his embrace.
“So where’s-?” Jeannie prompted, as Madison slipped her hand into her Uncle Rod’s.
“Oh, he must still be in the car. I’ll go get him.” Rod called over his shoulder, already disappearing back down the garden path with Madison in tow.
“Him?” Jeannie said out loud, seeing that her brother was now out of earshot and sensing Caleb sidling up behind her.
“What sweetie?”
“I don’t think we’re on the same page as Rod concerning his guest.”
“How so?”
“You’re about to find out.”
Sure enough, Rod was already on the return route, Madison carrying his laptop case, himself toting a rather bulky holdall, and with a tall, dark, handsome and very male companion trailing in his wake.
“Oh.” said Caleb, and Jeannie elbowed him in the ribs.
“Caleb!” Rod greeted him, before carefully putting down his bag and clapping the other man on the back. “Congratulations - again!”
“Erm yes, thanks.”
Then Rod noticed Jeannie peering curiously at the stranger standing on her front porch.
“Oh sorry!” he grabbed his friend by the arm and drew him closer. “This is my sister Jeannie, and her husband Caleb. The three little squirts who are running around here somewhere are Madison, Bradley and Robbie - Robbie’s the one with the little mole on his cheek - it’s the only way I can tell them apart at first sight, though their temperaments are quite different. This is-“
“Sheppard, John Sheppard.” said the man in question, leaning forward to shake hands firmly with Caleb and then briefly drawing Jeannie’s hand to his lips.
“Charmed, I’m sure.” she stammered, after she had recovered from the initial shock.
“Oh don’t mind him.” Rod said, laughing genially, “He’s from the Deep South, he can’t help but be charming.”
“Well come on in then,” Caleb choked out once he too had got over their guest’s rather different manner of greeting his wife, and began to usher them inside the house. “It must be a shock to your system being in the cold of Canada hailing from where you do Mr Sheppard.”
“Actually it’s Colonel - USAF,” Sheppard explained, “Or Dr - PhD in Applied Mathematics, Caltech. I could have been PhD, PhD, but then I wouldn’t have become a fully-fledged Colonel by the tender age of 37. Oh and I also answer to ‘all round brilliant genius’. I’m very active with the local chapter of MENSA.”
Caleb and Jeannie exchanged looks, and Rod raised an eyebrow at him.
“But you can just call me John.” he added belatedly.
“I’ll just show you to your room…” Caleb began before Jeannie interrupted him.
“Oh that can wait- I’m sure they just want to come in and take the weight off their feet before they bother with unpacking and all that. Caleb, why don’t you take John into the living room whilst Rod helps me get drinks? What would you like John?”
“Johnny Walker Blue if you have any.”
John received another look from Rod and he revised his order.
“Coffee will do just fine, Colombian if possible, with just a splash of 2% milk.”
“Right.” said Jeannie glazing over slightly before grabbing Rod’s arm and leading him into the kitchen, “I’ll see what I can do.”
When they were safely ensconced behind the heavy kitchen door Jeannie turned to her brother and fixed him with a look he hadn’t seen from her since he gave Caleb the tenth degree one hour after first meeting him.
~~~“I’m only making sure he’s good enough for you. Wouldn’t want my only and beloved little sister wasting her time with some scumbag would I?” he had protested when she had pushed him into a corner of the restaurant’s cloakroom, before assuring Jeannie that Caleb had passed muster, and becoming firm friends with him within ten minutes when they returned to the table.~~~
“What?” Rod asked, propping himself up against the counter.
“When you said you would be bringing a Colonel with you, I kind of thought you’d be bringing Sam.”
“Why would you think that?” Rod was genuinely puzzled, “Besides she’s a Lt Colonel. Sheppard’s..."
“A full- fledged Colonel, yes, he just told us!”
“And Sam and I broke up three years ago-“
“I was hoping you’d got back together-“
“She’s got herself someone else to generally take my place in a major way. He’s a Major General.” Rod quipped.
Jeannie rolled her eyes at his flatter than flat joke,
“In fact they’ve just got engaged.”
“Really? So when’s the wedding?” Jeannie couldn’t help herself. She’d adored Sam when Rod had brought her to stay with the Millers, and even though Jeannie had had her heart set on them one day being sisters-in-law, she was still pleased to hear that Sam was happy.
“But that’s beyond the point.” she tacked on. “It’s not that I don’t want the kids to grow up to be fair-minded and liberal adults, but Madison’s not yet out of the stage where she asks ‘why’ about everything, and I wasn’t planning on having to explain certain things to her yet, especially not at Christmas. Besides, how could you not tell me about him before, Rod? I’m a little shocked here!”
“Sheppard and I are on the same team.” Rod explained gently.
“Yeah, I gathered that.”
“No! We’re on the same team, not playing for it. We work together, on the same projects.”
“Very closely. I get it Rod.”
“I don’t think you do. We’re colleagues, nothing more.” Rod gave her his most earnest wide-eyed and open look.
“Oh.”
“Yes, oh!”
“So you-?”
“Still like women, yes.”
“And you’re-?”
“Not bi-sexual, no.”
“Oh.”
“But I want to know why you thought-?” Rod pushed.
“Well, I was expecting Sam, and then he turned up, and you didn’t indicate who he was in relation to yourself, so I assumed, and he’s so…” she waved her hand about vaguely, “… what’s the word?”
Rod just looked at her blankly and shrugged.
“Hot!” she whispered, looking around to see whether Caleb had surreptitiously managed to sneak in. “And the -“ she indicated the back or her hand where John had pressed his lips, “And the hair! That can’t be regulation.”
Rod chuckled. “Oh it’s not, but he gets around it somehow. Don’t ask me how!”
“So is he-?” Jeannie let her wrist flop forward.
“Sheppard? No! Not from what I hear and from what he tells me. There are a lot of stories.”
“Oh. Ok then.” Jeannie paused, “Oh no, there’s only the double bed in the guest room, and the boys broke the mechanism on the sofa so it won’t open out into a bed anymore and-“
“I’m sure we can get by with sharing a bed. Can’t be worse than sharing a lab with him, and having to put up with him after he’s been on a bender with the MENSA Chapter.”
“The MENSA Club go on benders?”
“Not really, but that’s what they call them. I know they stay up fairly late and - you know it’s really not worth knowing - anyway, the aftermath isn’t exactly pretty and yet I cope!”
They both jumped a little as the kitchen door opened and Caleb stuck his head through.
“How are those drinks coming honey?” he asked, with a tinge of desperation.
“Drinks? Oh yes, drinks! Sorry sweetie, I got distracted. Rod was just telling me that he and John work on the same projects together.”
“Together huh?” Caleb seemed surprised.
“Not together,” Rod corrected, “We’re not together.”
“Oh I didn’t think that. At least I hoped not. I just got the idea that John achieved absolutely everything by himself.”
“No.” Rod replied, before he picked up that Caleb was leaning towards quickly becoming either unhinged or murderous.
“Look, why don’t I stop distracting Jeannie from being the perfect hostess, and go show Sheppard the room? It’ll just being annoying for you to have all our baggage cluttering up the hallway, eh?”
“Great!” Rod had barely stopped speaking before Caleb jumped in to approve the plan.
“I suppose you want tea, Rod?” Jeannie asked, just as he was leaving the room, “Earl Grey with lemon as usual?”
“You’re an absolute star. That would be great. Thank you.” Rod replied.
~ o 0 () 0 o ~
By early afternoon on Boxing Day* Caleb had retreated to the den, John was in the guest room sleeping off the effects of yet another delicious meal cooked by Mr Miller, and the kids were happily playing with their new toys in the twin’s room. Rod discovered Jeannie collapsed on the sofa with a glazed and damaged look in her eyes.
“Hey Jean Jeannie!” he greeted her softly, before seating himself beside her.
“Hmm.” she replied.
“You ok?”
She turned to look at her brother and then sort of crumpled.
“Honestly? No! Look I hate to say it because you invited him, and he’s our guest, and it might just be me over-reacting with the pregnancy hormones, and being so tired with the kids waking up at half past three yesterday and everything, but-“ then she just stopped.
“But?” Rod encouraged, unable to stop his heart from sinking even though he’d been expecting this conversation for at least 24 hours.
“He’s awful, Rod. I mean he’s just horrible! He’s full of himself, he hasn’t lifted a finger to help despite the fact that he knows I'm pregnant, and the kids can’t stand to be in the same room as him. They’re avoiding him right now!”
“Really?” Rod asked, knowing deep in his heart that it was true, but hoping that Jeannie might retract that pronouncement a little. “He did bring them gifts.”
“Oh come on Rod, he only bought presents because you told him to, and I bet you told him what to buy, or you even bought them yourself! Really! He ignores the kids most of the time, and when he does speak to them, he has no idea how to communicate on their level. I overheard him just an hour ago; telling Brad that Thomas the Tank Engine should be banned because it didn’t take into account the fact that the speed of light is not actually a constant. Then he insulted Percy - and you know how much Brad loves Percy - and made him cry. Made Brad cry - not Percy, because he’s an animated train and therefore has no feelings- and oh my goodness he’s even got me correcting my grammar!”
“That was just one comment concerning a minor rule of grammar that you had chosen to ignore that one time.” Rod stated.
“Yes, followed up by a call for Caleb to put his worthless English degree into use for once and help him destroy any sense of self-worth I had left!”
“He didn’t say Caleb’s degree was worthless-“
“But he was thinking it. I could tell. By the way, did you tell him that I have a Masters in Astrophysics and was six months into my doctorate from North-Western when I had to drop out to have Maddy?”
“Yes.” Rod replied. “Why?”
“Because I think he’s under the impression that I never even went to school. He’ll start off talking to me about how such-and-such’s latest theory is fundamentally flawed - which is actually very interesting for me, though poor Caleb switches off after about 5 seconds - and I do understand most of it, but with three children and a fourth on the way it’s only natural that I would get a bit rusty. The moment I ask for clarification about something, or make a comment that has an error in it he jumps all over me (metaphorically speaking) in that high handed way of his and informs me that I have less intelligence than a slug!”
“Did he really say that?”
“Well maybe not, I lost track about a minute in, but I know he mentioned a slug. I just kind of assumed that he was comparing it to me and that the outcome wasn’t favourable. If I didn’t know that he was highly decorated Air Force officer, and that I wouldn’t stand a chance of even getting remotely close to achieving my goal I’d have killed him by now!”
Rod sighed.
“And it’s not as if I don’t already know that he’s a frickin’ genius. I’m aware of the fact - but does he have to mention it so much? And the stories. Oh Meredith, the stories…”
“Hey!”
“Oh let me be. I’ll call you what I like, I’m a pregnant woman on the edge of sanity! Doesn’t he get that we’re really not interested in his exploits with members of the opposite sex, and that whilst his stories about the Air Force are quite fascinating, it’s unbearably annoying to get to the most exciting part only to be told that he can’t tell us the rest because it’s classified to the heavens? Anyway, I don’t think half of what he says is classified really is. He’s just doing it to seem more important. And the stories that aren’t classified about his exploits in math all have the same ending. He was right, everyone else was wrong, and if he hadn’t stopped them doing what they were doing then the universe would have exploded and none of us would be here to tell the story. Just what kind of deep-space radio telemetry are you involved in anyway?”
“I’m sorry, but that really is classified.”
“Caleb was right - the way John tells it he does everything himself and everyone else - including you - are just incidentals and it’s sheer hubris. I am so sorry that I ever thought you too were more than just friends, Rod. I didn’t mean to be so insulting. Sure you can’t deny that he is a very good looking man, and that at first he has a certain charm about him, but -ugh!” Jeannie shuddered, “I’m really really sorry. Why did you invite him here anyway? I mean I know you have this way of working with people and this ability to manage their - less desirable - traits, but surely you’re aware that the man’s an insufferably conceited, selfish son-of-a-bitch with all the social skills of a Lego brick? No, erase that. Lego bricks fit together to make things. He’s not Lego, he’s…. beyond! I can’t understand how his subordinates haven’t committed mutiny, or whatever it is the Air Force does and killed him themselves.”
“Probably because they believe he can kill them with his mind.”
“Huh! But really, did I do something wrong that I’m not aware of and you’re punishing me for it?”
Rod sighed again.
“No, look I’m sorry I brought him. I just hoped that bringing him here might help him somehow. He has no family to go to, his so-called MENSA buddies hadn’t invited him anywhere and he’s part of my team. I didn’t want him being alone. And yes, whilst he can come across as self-centred-“
Jeanie snorted in derision,
“-he’s not actually a bad man and frequently puts his life on them line to save others.”
“Yeah, I know. He told me about it.”
“I just had this opportunity recently to see a whole better side to him, to see what he could be like if things were different and I thought that maybe being in this environment would kick-start something in him. I’m really sorry he’s ruined your Christmas. I honestly didn’t think he was that bad….”
“Really? He has a better side? He hides it well!”
And you’re right. I’m going to have to speak to him when we get back. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to but it’s all clear to me now. I guess we excuse him a bit too much because he’s so brilliant and we really do need him.”
“How do you do it?”
“I don’t know. I guess he kinda grows on you when he's on your team. He can be fun when he’s not being obnoxious and I’ve only recently come to realise that”
~ o 0 () 0 o ~
Later, at supper, things were very, very quiet. The kids only spoke to ask for more of something or to request to get down from the table. Jeannie was feeling very guilty at having complained about John behind his back, and Rod was kicking himself for having been so naïve to believe that John would change without an intervention. John didn’t even attempt to talk about himself, and only spoke to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. Caleb just enjoyed the silence.
At the end of the meal, John cleared his throat and asked in the quietest voice Rod had ever heard from him if he could help to clear the table. Jeannie was so surprised that she dropped the dish she was holding, and it was only saved from smashing into smithereens when John reached out with his lightning fast reflexes and caught it. Jeannie thanked him in a halting voice. He ducked his head and made no reply. They all helped to clear the table and stack the dishwasher.
When the kids had fallen asleep, exhausted by the excitement of Christmas, the adults flicked through the channels to find a film to watch. Rod was surprised that when Caleb and Jeannie voted in favour of ‘A Beautiful Mind’ John didn’t launch into a diatribe concerning how historically inaccurate the film was (he’d heard many a lecture from Sheppard concerning its many sins) and merely commented that he didn’t mind Russell Crowe. He remained startling silent throughout, although he would frequently tie his eyebrows in a knot concerning some of the math, but spoke no word of criticism even when Rod let rip.
That night before they got into bed (which was neatly separated down the centre with a row of pillows) Rod grabbed hold of John’s wrist.
“Look, what’s going on Sheppard?” he demanded. “You’ve gone all quiet.” He recalled the lack of restraint the alternate Rod, or Rodney as he was called in his universe had shown and decided that it was about time that he exercised it a little too. “Not that’s it’s not a welcome break from your constant monologue about how wonderful you are.” he said.
To his surprise, Sheppard said nothing. However, he reached under his pillow and withdrew the receiving half of a baby monitor.
“I heard you.” he said in that quiet voice he had used at the table, “One of the kids must have been playing in your bag and left this here. The other part was in the living room.”
“You heard me and Jeannie….” Rod stammered.
“Every word.”
Rod gaped. For all his geniality, he had absolutely no idea what to say to the other man.
“Well that’s a cliché.” he commented finally, and mentally beat himself around the head the moment he’d said it.
“I had no idea that I was so hated by everyone.” John spoke into his lap.
“You’re not.” Rod insisted, knowing that this at least was something true to which he could cling.
“Really? Jeannie thinks I’m - what did she say? - ‘awful’ and ‘horrible’. You pointed out that done of my MENSA compatriots invited me anywhere for Christmas that my subordinates fear me and the only reason you brought me here was that you thought it might change me. Really the only reason anyone keeps me around is that I’m very good at what I do.”
“We don’t hate you.” Rod repeated. “Well, I don’t.”
“Why not?” John demanded, “I’m not a very nice person.”
“True, often - ok - most of the time you’re not,” Rod agreed cautiously, “But you don’t have to stay that way. You can be fun when you make the effort - in any universe.”
“Hunf.” said John. “What was he like?”
“What was who like?”
“The other Sheppard. The Lt Colonel you met.”
“He was like you. Quick-witted, an excellent officer, and-“
“And the other thing that’s not like me?”
“Nice.”
“Nice how?”
“Well he let you find out about his intelligence by yourself, you couldn’t make him brag about his deeds - unless he felt his masculinity was being threatened - and he liked hanging out with Ronon and Teyla and Jeannie and me - him - Rodney. Well Rodney not so much, although maybe I’m wrong about that. There was certainly this unspoken bond between them… and this kind of snarky sarcastic banter… some equal give and take. It was kind of cool.”
“You’ve changed you know.” Sheppard observed.
“Changed?”
“Since you came back from their universe. You’re not so … cloying. You speak your mind more. It’s… refreshing.”
“Huh?”
“Yeah. And look, I’m sorry that I spoilt everyone’s Christmas. I think that tomorrow I should just leave and find somewhere-“
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I have to do something.” And for the first time in their conversation, they really looked at each other.
“Maybe we can hang out together. Go up the CN Tower, visit Niagara Falls or some other stupid tourist place that only exists to part foolish people with inordinately huge amounts money.” Rod offered.
“I’d like that.” said John with a smile.
THE END
*Both the UK and Canada have a second day of holiday at Christmas, the 26th December - known as Boxing Day. I won’t get into the history of it now, but if anyone wants to know, it’s very interesting….
Pairing or Character(s): MENSA!John, Rod & MENSA!Jeannie
SGA-verse or MENSA-verse: MENSA-verse
Warnings: None
Word count: 3800
Summary: When Rod invites John to spend Christmas at Jeannie's, they all get more than they bargained for.
AN: Written for the “Getting to know you” challenge - on the last day because that's when I stumbled across it! Also this is the first fic I've written where there hasn't been an image as an integral part of the story. It feels very strange not having one!
---
When Jeannie opened the door there was a look on her face that Rod knew very well - utter delight at seeing her beloved older brother again.
“Rod!” she squealed, and flung her arms around his neck in a bear hug.
He grinned and lifted her up off of the ground.
“Happy Christmas little sis’!”
“Hey!” she protested letting him go and stepping back far enough to swipe him gently on the side of the head. “Not so little!” and stroking her stomach with her other hand.
“You’re pregnant again? That’s great! Congratulations!” They embraced again, Rod quickly kissing her on the cheek as they pulled away. Hearing the distant sound of footsteps on Jeannie’s wooden passageway Rod crouched down and began to ask in a loud voice,
“So where are my - owf! - superheroes?!” interrupted when two small boys barrelled their way into his arms and briefly knocked the breath out of him.
“Uncle Rod! Uncle Rod!” they cried, both trying to squirm into his lap.
“Hey, hey, you can take turns later!” he admonished them fondly, ruffling their hair. “And there she is-“ he said, scraping the twins off his knees and standing up again to see the golden-haired girl standing in the doorway, with a slightly shy look on her face.
“-the beautiful Princess Madison!” at which she overcame her shyness and hurled herself into his embrace.
“So where’s-?” Jeannie prompted, as Madison slipped her hand into her Uncle Rod’s.
“Oh, he must still be in the car. I’ll go get him.” Rod called over his shoulder, already disappearing back down the garden path with Madison in tow.
“Him?” Jeannie said out loud, seeing that her brother was now out of earshot and sensing Caleb sidling up behind her.
“What sweetie?”
“I don’t think we’re on the same page as Rod concerning his guest.”
“How so?”
“You’re about to find out.”
Sure enough, Rod was already on the return route, Madison carrying his laptop case, himself toting a rather bulky holdall, and with a tall, dark, handsome and very male companion trailing in his wake.
“Oh.” said Caleb, and Jeannie elbowed him in the ribs.
“Caleb!” Rod greeted him, before carefully putting down his bag and clapping the other man on the back. “Congratulations - again!”
“Erm yes, thanks.”
Then Rod noticed Jeannie peering curiously at the stranger standing on her front porch.
“Oh sorry!” he grabbed his friend by the arm and drew him closer. “This is my sister Jeannie, and her husband Caleb. The three little squirts who are running around here somewhere are Madison, Bradley and Robbie - Robbie’s the one with the little mole on his cheek - it’s the only way I can tell them apart at first sight, though their temperaments are quite different. This is-“
“Sheppard, John Sheppard.” said the man in question, leaning forward to shake hands firmly with Caleb and then briefly drawing Jeannie’s hand to his lips.
“Charmed, I’m sure.” she stammered, after she had recovered from the initial shock.
“Oh don’t mind him.” Rod said, laughing genially, “He’s from the Deep South, he can’t help but be charming.”
“Well come on in then,” Caleb choked out once he too had got over their guest’s rather different manner of greeting his wife, and began to usher them inside the house. “It must be a shock to your system being in the cold of Canada hailing from where you do Mr Sheppard.”
“Actually it’s Colonel - USAF,” Sheppard explained, “Or Dr - PhD in Applied Mathematics, Caltech. I could have been PhD, PhD, but then I wouldn’t have become a fully-fledged Colonel by the tender age of 37. Oh and I also answer to ‘all round brilliant genius’. I’m very active with the local chapter of MENSA.”
Caleb and Jeannie exchanged looks, and Rod raised an eyebrow at him.
“But you can just call me John.” he added belatedly.
“I’ll just show you to your room…” Caleb began before Jeannie interrupted him.
“Oh that can wait- I’m sure they just want to come in and take the weight off their feet before they bother with unpacking and all that. Caleb, why don’t you take John into the living room whilst Rod helps me get drinks? What would you like John?”
“Johnny Walker Blue if you have any.”
John received another look from Rod and he revised his order.
“Coffee will do just fine, Colombian if possible, with just a splash of 2% milk.”
“Right.” said Jeannie glazing over slightly before grabbing Rod’s arm and leading him into the kitchen, “I’ll see what I can do.”
When they were safely ensconced behind the heavy kitchen door Jeannie turned to her brother and fixed him with a look he hadn’t seen from her since he gave Caleb the tenth degree one hour after first meeting him.
~~~“I’m only making sure he’s good enough for you. Wouldn’t want my only and beloved little sister wasting her time with some scumbag would I?” he had protested when she had pushed him into a corner of the restaurant’s cloakroom, before assuring Jeannie that Caleb had passed muster, and becoming firm friends with him within ten minutes when they returned to the table.~~~
“What?” Rod asked, propping himself up against the counter.
“When you said you would be bringing a Colonel with you, I kind of thought you’d be bringing Sam.”
“Why would you think that?” Rod was genuinely puzzled, “Besides she’s a Lt Colonel. Sheppard’s..."
“A full- fledged Colonel, yes, he just told us!”
“And Sam and I broke up three years ago-“
“I was hoping you’d got back together-“
“She’s got herself someone else to generally take my place in a major way. He’s a Major General.” Rod quipped.
Jeannie rolled her eyes at his flatter than flat joke,
“In fact they’ve just got engaged.”
“Really? So when’s the wedding?” Jeannie couldn’t help herself. She’d adored Sam when Rod had brought her to stay with the Millers, and even though Jeannie had had her heart set on them one day being sisters-in-law, she was still pleased to hear that Sam was happy.
“But that’s beyond the point.” she tacked on. “It’s not that I don’t want the kids to grow up to be fair-minded and liberal adults, but Madison’s not yet out of the stage where she asks ‘why’ about everything, and I wasn’t planning on having to explain certain things to her yet, especially not at Christmas. Besides, how could you not tell me about him before, Rod? I’m a little shocked here!”
“Sheppard and I are on the same team.” Rod explained gently.
“Yeah, I gathered that.”
“No! We’re on the same team, not playing for it. We work together, on the same projects.”
“Very closely. I get it Rod.”
“I don’t think you do. We’re colleagues, nothing more.” Rod gave her his most earnest wide-eyed and open look.
“Oh.”
“Yes, oh!”
“So you-?”
“Still like women, yes.”
“And you’re-?”
“Not bi-sexual, no.”
“Oh.”
“But I want to know why you thought-?” Rod pushed.
“Well, I was expecting Sam, and then he turned up, and you didn’t indicate who he was in relation to yourself, so I assumed, and he’s so…” she waved her hand about vaguely, “… what’s the word?”
Rod just looked at her blankly and shrugged.
“Hot!” she whispered, looking around to see whether Caleb had surreptitiously managed to sneak in. “And the -“ she indicated the back or her hand where John had pressed his lips, “And the hair! That can’t be regulation.”
Rod chuckled. “Oh it’s not, but he gets around it somehow. Don’t ask me how!”
“So is he-?” Jeannie let her wrist flop forward.
“Sheppard? No! Not from what I hear and from what he tells me. There are a lot of stories.”
“Oh. Ok then.” Jeannie paused, “Oh no, there’s only the double bed in the guest room, and the boys broke the mechanism on the sofa so it won’t open out into a bed anymore and-“
“I’m sure we can get by with sharing a bed. Can’t be worse than sharing a lab with him, and having to put up with him after he’s been on a bender with the MENSA Chapter.”
“The MENSA Club go on benders?”
“Not really, but that’s what they call them. I know they stay up fairly late and - you know it’s really not worth knowing - anyway, the aftermath isn’t exactly pretty and yet I cope!”
They both jumped a little as the kitchen door opened and Caleb stuck his head through.
“How are those drinks coming honey?” he asked, with a tinge of desperation.
“Drinks? Oh yes, drinks! Sorry sweetie, I got distracted. Rod was just telling me that he and John work on the same projects together.”
“Together huh?” Caleb seemed surprised.
“Not together,” Rod corrected, “We’re not together.”
“Oh I didn’t think that. At least I hoped not. I just got the idea that John achieved absolutely everything by himself.”
“No.” Rod replied, before he picked up that Caleb was leaning towards quickly becoming either unhinged or murderous.
“Look, why don’t I stop distracting Jeannie from being the perfect hostess, and go show Sheppard the room? It’ll just being annoying for you to have all our baggage cluttering up the hallway, eh?”
“Great!” Rod had barely stopped speaking before Caleb jumped in to approve the plan.
“I suppose you want tea, Rod?” Jeannie asked, just as he was leaving the room, “Earl Grey with lemon as usual?”
“You’re an absolute star. That would be great. Thank you.” Rod replied.
~ o 0 () 0 o ~
By early afternoon on Boxing Day* Caleb had retreated to the den, John was in the guest room sleeping off the effects of yet another delicious meal cooked by Mr Miller, and the kids were happily playing with their new toys in the twin’s room. Rod discovered Jeannie collapsed on the sofa with a glazed and damaged look in her eyes.
“Hey Jean Jeannie!” he greeted her softly, before seating himself beside her.
“Hmm.” she replied.
“You ok?”
She turned to look at her brother and then sort of crumpled.
“Honestly? No! Look I hate to say it because you invited him, and he’s our guest, and it might just be me over-reacting with the pregnancy hormones, and being so tired with the kids waking up at half past three yesterday and everything, but-“ then she just stopped.
“But?” Rod encouraged, unable to stop his heart from sinking even though he’d been expecting this conversation for at least 24 hours.
“He’s awful, Rod. I mean he’s just horrible! He’s full of himself, he hasn’t lifted a finger to help despite the fact that he knows I'm pregnant, and the kids can’t stand to be in the same room as him. They’re avoiding him right now!”
“Really?” Rod asked, knowing deep in his heart that it was true, but hoping that Jeannie might retract that pronouncement a little. “He did bring them gifts.”
“Oh come on Rod, he only bought presents because you told him to, and I bet you told him what to buy, or you even bought them yourself! Really! He ignores the kids most of the time, and when he does speak to them, he has no idea how to communicate on their level. I overheard him just an hour ago; telling Brad that Thomas the Tank Engine should be banned because it didn’t take into account the fact that the speed of light is not actually a constant. Then he insulted Percy - and you know how much Brad loves Percy - and made him cry. Made Brad cry - not Percy, because he’s an animated train and therefore has no feelings- and oh my goodness he’s even got me correcting my grammar!”
“That was just one comment concerning a minor rule of grammar that you had chosen to ignore that one time.” Rod stated.
“Yes, followed up by a call for Caleb to put his worthless English degree into use for once and help him destroy any sense of self-worth I had left!”
“He didn’t say Caleb’s degree was worthless-“
“But he was thinking it. I could tell. By the way, did you tell him that I have a Masters in Astrophysics and was six months into my doctorate from North-Western when I had to drop out to have Maddy?”
“Yes.” Rod replied. “Why?”
“Because I think he’s under the impression that I never even went to school. He’ll start off talking to me about how such-and-such’s latest theory is fundamentally flawed - which is actually very interesting for me, though poor Caleb switches off after about 5 seconds - and I do understand most of it, but with three children and a fourth on the way it’s only natural that I would get a bit rusty. The moment I ask for clarification about something, or make a comment that has an error in it he jumps all over me (metaphorically speaking) in that high handed way of his and informs me that I have less intelligence than a slug!”
“Did he really say that?”
“Well maybe not, I lost track about a minute in, but I know he mentioned a slug. I just kind of assumed that he was comparing it to me and that the outcome wasn’t favourable. If I didn’t know that he was highly decorated Air Force officer, and that I wouldn’t stand a chance of even getting remotely close to achieving my goal I’d have killed him by now!”
Rod sighed.
“And it’s not as if I don’t already know that he’s a frickin’ genius. I’m aware of the fact - but does he have to mention it so much? And the stories. Oh Meredith, the stories…”
“Hey!”
“Oh let me be. I’ll call you what I like, I’m a pregnant woman on the edge of sanity! Doesn’t he get that we’re really not interested in his exploits with members of the opposite sex, and that whilst his stories about the Air Force are quite fascinating, it’s unbearably annoying to get to the most exciting part only to be told that he can’t tell us the rest because it’s classified to the heavens? Anyway, I don’t think half of what he says is classified really is. He’s just doing it to seem more important. And the stories that aren’t classified about his exploits in math all have the same ending. He was right, everyone else was wrong, and if he hadn’t stopped them doing what they were doing then the universe would have exploded and none of us would be here to tell the story. Just what kind of deep-space radio telemetry are you involved in anyway?”
“I’m sorry, but that really is classified.”
“Caleb was right - the way John tells it he does everything himself and everyone else - including you - are just incidentals and it’s sheer hubris. I am so sorry that I ever thought you too were more than just friends, Rod. I didn’t mean to be so insulting. Sure you can’t deny that he is a very good looking man, and that at first he has a certain charm about him, but -ugh!” Jeannie shuddered, “I’m really really sorry. Why did you invite him here anyway? I mean I know you have this way of working with people and this ability to manage their - less desirable - traits, but surely you’re aware that the man’s an insufferably conceited, selfish son-of-a-bitch with all the social skills of a Lego brick? No, erase that. Lego bricks fit together to make things. He’s not Lego, he’s…. beyond! I can’t understand how his subordinates haven’t committed mutiny, or whatever it is the Air Force does and killed him themselves.”
“Probably because they believe he can kill them with his mind.”
“Huh! But really, did I do something wrong that I’m not aware of and you’re punishing me for it?”
Rod sighed again.
“No, look I’m sorry I brought him. I just hoped that bringing him here might help him somehow. He has no family to go to, his so-called MENSA buddies hadn’t invited him anywhere and he’s part of my team. I didn’t want him being alone. And yes, whilst he can come across as self-centred-“
Jeanie snorted in derision,
“-he’s not actually a bad man and frequently puts his life on them line to save others.”
“Yeah, I know. He told me about it.”
“I just had this opportunity recently to see a whole better side to him, to see what he could be like if things were different and I thought that maybe being in this environment would kick-start something in him. I’m really sorry he’s ruined your Christmas. I honestly didn’t think he was that bad….”
“Really? He has a better side? He hides it well!”
And you’re right. I’m going to have to speak to him when we get back. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to but it’s all clear to me now. I guess we excuse him a bit too much because he’s so brilliant and we really do need him.”
“How do you do it?”
“I don’t know. I guess he kinda grows on you when he's on your team. He can be fun when he’s not being obnoxious and I’ve only recently come to realise that”
~ o 0 () 0 o ~
Later, at supper, things were very, very quiet. The kids only spoke to ask for more of something or to request to get down from the table. Jeannie was feeling very guilty at having complained about John behind his back, and Rod was kicking himself for having been so naïve to believe that John would change without an intervention. John didn’t even attempt to talk about himself, and only spoke to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. Caleb just enjoyed the silence.
At the end of the meal, John cleared his throat and asked in the quietest voice Rod had ever heard from him if he could help to clear the table. Jeannie was so surprised that she dropped the dish she was holding, and it was only saved from smashing into smithereens when John reached out with his lightning fast reflexes and caught it. Jeannie thanked him in a halting voice. He ducked his head and made no reply. They all helped to clear the table and stack the dishwasher.
When the kids had fallen asleep, exhausted by the excitement of Christmas, the adults flicked through the channels to find a film to watch. Rod was surprised that when Caleb and Jeannie voted in favour of ‘A Beautiful Mind’ John didn’t launch into a diatribe concerning how historically inaccurate the film was (he’d heard many a lecture from Sheppard concerning its many sins) and merely commented that he didn’t mind Russell Crowe. He remained startling silent throughout, although he would frequently tie his eyebrows in a knot concerning some of the math, but spoke no word of criticism even when Rod let rip.
That night before they got into bed (which was neatly separated down the centre with a row of pillows) Rod grabbed hold of John’s wrist.
“Look, what’s going on Sheppard?” he demanded. “You’ve gone all quiet.” He recalled the lack of restraint the alternate Rod, or Rodney as he was called in his universe had shown and decided that it was about time that he exercised it a little too. “Not that’s it’s not a welcome break from your constant monologue about how wonderful you are.” he said.
To his surprise, Sheppard said nothing. However, he reached under his pillow and withdrew the receiving half of a baby monitor.
“I heard you.” he said in that quiet voice he had used at the table, “One of the kids must have been playing in your bag and left this here. The other part was in the living room.”
“You heard me and Jeannie….” Rod stammered.
“Every word.”
Rod gaped. For all his geniality, he had absolutely no idea what to say to the other man.
“Well that’s a cliché.” he commented finally, and mentally beat himself around the head the moment he’d said it.
“I had no idea that I was so hated by everyone.” John spoke into his lap.
“You’re not.” Rod insisted, knowing that this at least was something true to which he could cling.
“Really? Jeannie thinks I’m - what did she say? - ‘awful’ and ‘horrible’. You pointed out that done of my MENSA compatriots invited me anywhere for Christmas that my subordinates fear me and the only reason you brought me here was that you thought it might change me. Really the only reason anyone keeps me around is that I’m very good at what I do.”
“We don’t hate you.” Rod repeated. “Well, I don’t.”
“Why not?” John demanded, “I’m not a very nice person.”
“True, often - ok - most of the time you’re not,” Rod agreed cautiously, “But you don’t have to stay that way. You can be fun when you make the effort - in any universe.”
“Hunf.” said John. “What was he like?”
“What was who like?”
“The other Sheppard. The Lt Colonel you met.”
“He was like you. Quick-witted, an excellent officer, and-“
“And the other thing that’s not like me?”
“Nice.”
“Nice how?”
“Well he let you find out about his intelligence by yourself, you couldn’t make him brag about his deeds - unless he felt his masculinity was being threatened - and he liked hanging out with Ronon and Teyla and Jeannie and me - him - Rodney. Well Rodney not so much, although maybe I’m wrong about that. There was certainly this unspoken bond between them… and this kind of snarky sarcastic banter… some equal give and take. It was kind of cool.”
“You’ve changed you know.” Sheppard observed.
“Changed?”
“Since you came back from their universe. You’re not so … cloying. You speak your mind more. It’s… refreshing.”
“Huh?”
“Yeah. And look, I’m sorry that I spoilt everyone’s Christmas. I think that tomorrow I should just leave and find somewhere-“
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I have to do something.” And for the first time in their conversation, they really looked at each other.
“Maybe we can hang out together. Go up the CN Tower, visit Niagara Falls or some other stupid tourist place that only exists to part foolish people with inordinately huge amounts money.” Rod offered.
“I’d like that.” said John with a smile.
THE END
*Both the UK and Canada have a second day of holiday at Christmas, the 26th December - known as Boxing Day. I won’t get into the history of it now, but if anyone wants to know, it’s very interesting….