A Sucker is Born Every Minute (1/1), Good Eats
Title: A Sucker is Born Every Minute
Fandom: Good Eats
Characters: Alton Brown, W
Rating & Warnings: G/K
Word Count: 1,018
Genre: Gen, Humor
Summary: On Vicki Wang’s first day of training, her boss had told her there was a sucker born every second.
Author's Notes: Written for fandomonymous as a treat for Yuletide. And though this is listed at AO3 as "Good Eats RPF" I don't consider it as such. Like the requester said, this isn't about the real Alton Brown, but the persona he plays on TV. "W" isn't his chiropractor as she is in real life, but a character developed for the show.
July 10, 1999
Marietta, Georgia
Bed, Beth, and Beyond
On Vicki Wang’s first day of training, her boss had told her there was a sucker born every second.
If she was lucky, one of those suckers would walk into her section at Bed, Beth and Beyond and, for the eighth year running, she would be name Top Sales Associate in the region. Vicki was under no illusions; her good looks combined with her calm demeanor harvested feelings of trust and camaraderie with the unsuspecting sucker. Anything she said was gobbled up by the customer and Vicki’s sales would soar.
From unnecessary accessories to getting them to apply for a store credit card, she had her sales approach down to a T.
She scanned the sales floor for her next conquest. A mother with two preschool children--too much of a hassle. A smitten young couple with a scanner gun in the woman’s hand--no good; they were probably there to create a wedding registry. A middle-aged woman who had been in the same aisle for nearly an hour trying to decide if she wanted the eggplant shade or the orchid--Vicki had handed off that sale almost immediately.
No, none of these people would do!
She kept her eye until she spotted the ideal sucker.
There.
A rather geeky looking middle-aged man was standing at the end of one of the aisles in the kitchen gadget section. His hair stuck up in a million directions, giving him the impression of being a mad scientist rather than a master chef. And she didn’t even know where to start with his loud shirt that screamed, “I’m not fashion savvy!”
He cocked his head inquisitively at the Euro Sealer, as if he was trying to figure out its purpose.
Perfect.
Vicki sauntered across the floor. She waved off the other sales associates, claiming this sucker for herself. A smug smile flittered over her lips as she saw them stay in their place. Just watch the master at work, she thought as she passed a couple of newbies.
Vicki smiled as she approached the man. “Ah yes, the Euro Sealer! They have been flying off the shelves since we started carrying them. They can seal any bag as good as if it rolled off the factory line.” She nodded towards the contraption. “Are you buying this as a gift or for yourself?”
The man gaped at her. He looked absolutely appalled at her question. “I wouldn’t waste five dollars on a unitasker, let alone twenty.” He picked the Euro Sealer up as if he would learn its appeal by touching the smooth plastic.
Vicki pasted a smile on her face. There was no easy sale here which means she wasn’t interested in helping him. She took a step back, already trying to find her next customer. That elderly woman that just walked in with a Coach purse looked promising. “Well, if you need any help I’m sure that--”
He rolled his eyes, apparently not hearing her. “I mean, what kind of person would use this type of thing?” He rolled the Euro Sealer in his hand. “What’s wrong with using a rubber band to make sure your chips stay fresh?” He snapped his finger and pointed at her head. “You could even use that clip thing that’s in your hair. I can think of at least a dozen things in my junk drawer that I can use to close a bag of chips. And this isn’t one of them.”
She reached up and touched the barrette, indignant. Who did this guy think he was, question the validity of the products in her store? “I’ll have you know that this product is very effective,” she said, taking the product from him. “All you have to do is slide the Euro Sealer along the edge of any bag and it’s sealed airtight. It uses micro thermal technology which creates a seal so airtight, even water won’t leak out of it.”
What was it about this guy that got under her skin so much? Surely she had met more unruly customers since she started working there.
She crossed her arms, hoping her defense would deter him from any further conversation.
Unfortunately, she had no such luck.
He just grinned at her, not seeming to be put off by her outburst. In fact, he almost seemed...amused! “You sure seem to know your stuff...” He trailed off, looking perplexed. “What did you say your name was?”
Vicki was relieved she had forgotten to put her name tag on when she returned from her lunch break. There was absolutely no way she was going to tell him her real name. “W,” she answered curtly.
He quirked an eyebrow at her, intrigued by her reply. “Well, then, I guess that would make me AB.” He stuck out a hand for her to take.
Briefly, she considered not shaking it; he had already proven he was the type of customer that was more than likely more trouble than he was worth. Still, her inner saleswoman couldn’t sabotage a potential customer, even one as annoying as him.
She clasped his hand and gave it a solid shake. She forced another smile on her lips. “Now, if you don’t need any further assistance, AB, I should get back to the sales floor.” And help customers that actually want to buy something, she silently added.
“Oh, of course!” He watched her put the Euro Sealer back on the shelf. He leaned back, appraising her for a moment. “Say, you don’t mind if I bring a friend or two with me when I come in next week, do you?”
This guy had friends? Maybe she could salvage this entire ordeal with the prospect of a future sale. This time, her grin was genuine. “Certainly.”
“Great! Well then, I guess I’ll see you next week, W.” There was a gleam in his eye that made Vicki feel like she had agreed to something more than she had bargained for.
As he walked away, she couldn’t help but to wonder if she was the sucker.
AO3 link
Fandom: Good Eats
Characters: Alton Brown, W
Rating & Warnings: G/K
Word Count: 1,018
Genre: Gen, Humor
Summary: On Vicki Wang’s first day of training, her boss had told her there was a sucker born every second.
Author's Notes: Written for fandomonymous as a treat for Yuletide. And though this is listed at AO3 as "Good Eats RPF" I don't consider it as such. Like the requester said, this isn't about the real Alton Brown, but the persona he plays on TV. "W" isn't his chiropractor as she is in real life, but a character developed for the show.
July 10, 1999
Marietta, Georgia
Bed, Beth, and Beyond
On Vicki Wang’s first day of training, her boss had told her there was a sucker born every second.
If she was lucky, one of those suckers would walk into her section at Bed, Beth and Beyond and, for the eighth year running, she would be name Top Sales Associate in the region. Vicki was under no illusions; her good looks combined with her calm demeanor harvested feelings of trust and camaraderie with the unsuspecting sucker. Anything she said was gobbled up by the customer and Vicki’s sales would soar.
From unnecessary accessories to getting them to apply for a store credit card, she had her sales approach down to a T.
She scanned the sales floor for her next conquest. A mother with two preschool children--too much of a hassle. A smitten young couple with a scanner gun in the woman’s hand--no good; they were probably there to create a wedding registry. A middle-aged woman who had been in the same aisle for nearly an hour trying to decide if she wanted the eggplant shade or the orchid--Vicki had handed off that sale almost immediately.
No, none of these people would do!
She kept her eye until she spotted the ideal sucker.
There.
A rather geeky looking middle-aged man was standing at the end of one of the aisles in the kitchen gadget section. His hair stuck up in a million directions, giving him the impression of being a mad scientist rather than a master chef. And she didn’t even know where to start with his loud shirt that screamed, “I’m not fashion savvy!”
He cocked his head inquisitively at the Euro Sealer, as if he was trying to figure out its purpose.
Perfect.
Vicki sauntered across the floor. She waved off the other sales associates, claiming this sucker for herself. A smug smile flittered over her lips as she saw them stay in their place. Just watch the master at work, she thought as she passed a couple of newbies.
Vicki smiled as she approached the man. “Ah yes, the Euro Sealer! They have been flying off the shelves since we started carrying them. They can seal any bag as good as if it rolled off the factory line.” She nodded towards the contraption. “Are you buying this as a gift or for yourself?”
The man gaped at her. He looked absolutely appalled at her question. “I wouldn’t waste five dollars on a unitasker, let alone twenty.” He picked the Euro Sealer up as if he would learn its appeal by touching the smooth plastic.
Vicki pasted a smile on her face. There was no easy sale here which means she wasn’t interested in helping him. She took a step back, already trying to find her next customer. That elderly woman that just walked in with a Coach purse looked promising. “Well, if you need any help I’m sure that--”
He rolled his eyes, apparently not hearing her. “I mean, what kind of person would use this type of thing?” He rolled the Euro Sealer in his hand. “What’s wrong with using a rubber band to make sure your chips stay fresh?” He snapped his finger and pointed at her head. “You could even use that clip thing that’s in your hair. I can think of at least a dozen things in my junk drawer that I can use to close a bag of chips. And this isn’t one of them.”
She reached up and touched the barrette, indignant. Who did this guy think he was, question the validity of the products in her store? “I’ll have you know that this product is very effective,” she said, taking the product from him. “All you have to do is slide the Euro Sealer along the edge of any bag and it’s sealed airtight. It uses micro thermal technology which creates a seal so airtight, even water won’t leak out of it.”
What was it about this guy that got under her skin so much? Surely she had met more unruly customers since she started working there.
She crossed her arms, hoping her defense would deter him from any further conversation.
Unfortunately, she had no such luck.
He just grinned at her, not seeming to be put off by her outburst. In fact, he almost seemed...amused! “You sure seem to know your stuff...” He trailed off, looking perplexed. “What did you say your name was?”
Vicki was relieved she had forgotten to put her name tag on when she returned from her lunch break. There was absolutely no way she was going to tell him her real name. “W,” she answered curtly.
He quirked an eyebrow at her, intrigued by her reply. “Well, then, I guess that would make me AB.” He stuck out a hand for her to take.
Briefly, she considered not shaking it; he had already proven he was the type of customer that was more than likely more trouble than he was worth. Still, her inner saleswoman couldn’t sabotage a potential customer, even one as annoying as him.
She clasped his hand and gave it a solid shake. She forced another smile on her lips. “Now, if you don’t need any further assistance, AB, I should get back to the sales floor.” And help customers that actually want to buy something, she silently added.
“Oh, of course!” He watched her put the Euro Sealer back on the shelf. He leaned back, appraising her for a moment. “Say, you don’t mind if I bring a friend or two with me when I come in next week, do you?”
This guy had friends? Maybe she could salvage this entire ordeal with the prospect of a future sale. This time, her grin was genuine. “Certainly.”
“Great! Well then, I guess I’ll see you next week, W.” There was a gleam in his eye that made Vicki feel like she had agreed to something more than she had bargained for.
As he walked away, she couldn’t help but to wonder if she was the sucker.
AO3 link