The Seahorse: Chapter 5
**
Chapter 5: Prolactin
It's kind of like being in a submarine, from the way it sounds, all those swoops and beeps and heartbeats. The image on the screen is clear, the head and the body and even the little fingers beginning to separate themselves. Katie turns to him, beaming as she says, "It looks good, Jared. It really, really looks good."
Jared makes a small sound in the back of his throat, something like an acknowledgement. Jensen presses his mouth close together, he's trying to figure out what he should be doing, but everything feels awkward. He doesn't know if he can touch Jared's shoulder, if he should make a joke, if he should just stay professional. But Katie's right. It looks really good for him and the baby, really good.
"So, do you want to know the sex?" Katie asks. "Because if you don't, you should look away now."
Jared clears his throat. " I don't know if I want to know. Should I?" He looks at Jensen for a cue, but Jensen only shrugs.
"Well, if you're still thinking about adoption, it might be better to be more detached, right?" Katie offers.
"Yeah, yeah, okay," Jared says, covering his eyes.
"Oh," Katie says as she moves the probe lower so she and Jensen can see.
"Huh," Jensen says.
"Good 'oh'? Or is it bad? What's going on?" Jared asks, not looking through his fingers. Okay, maybe he's peeking a little. Not like he can actually tell the sex by looking at it.
"Nothing's wrong, Jared," Katie says. "Will you relax?"
When it's done, Jensen takes him back to his room. Mr. Padalecki is there waiting for him. Jared's shoulders sink slightly at the sight of his father, the usual displeased expression on his face. "Son, might I have a word?"
Jared sighs. "Has it been two months already?"
"Yes, and I've spoken with your mother, and we've agreed on the best course of action." Jared slides in to sit across from his father at the little card table. There's melancholy in the air around him. Jared's defeated, tired, the light in his eyes fading.
"Okay," Jared says, folding his hands. Jensen leaves the room, closing the door behind him. He waits in the hallway for just over an hour for them to finish. Mr. Padalecki leaves slowly this time, no bolting for the elevator or shouting. In fact he stops right in front of Jensen.
"Dr. Ackles, I would like to speak with you. May I buy you a cup of coffee downstairs?"
Jensen worries his brow. He has a really bad feeling about it. I mean fucking everyone knows, even my dad. Jared's words in the movie theater echo in his head.
"Sure, let me just check on your son," Jensen says standing up, looking into the room. Jared's fast asleep in the bed, snoring lightly. "Okay," Jensen nods and they take the elevator down to the café just outside the hospital.
Mr. Padalecki doesn't beat around the bush. As soon as Jensen sits with his latte he's grilling him. "Who's the father?"
"Ex-excuse me?" Jensen asks.
"My son has decided to let my wife and I raise the child as our own, instead of going through an unnecessary adoption. It's the best thing for it; really, we have the money, the resources, and the time to raise another child. Jared does not. He's still too young and frivolous. He's shown an interest in art, and if he wants to get anywhere with his talent he's going to have to become serious about his craft, go study in Europe for a few years. That's the deal. The only hitch left in the plan is finding out whether the father wishes to claim custody. Jared hasn't said anything about him, but you two are," Mr. Padalecki clears his throat, "closer, friendlier. I have no illusions about how my son sees me. I'm cold, far too objective for his tastes. Fine, but I am only looking out for his best interests, the best interests of my grandchild."
Jensen holds the coffee cup in his hands, feeling the warmth until it burns him, refusing to let go. "I don't know who the father is. He hasn't told me, and I haven't asked."
Mr. Padalecki leans in close. "Off the record?"
"I really, really don't know, Mr. Padalecki. He hasn't said anything about the father since the first day, and that was vague, only in passing. Something about unprotected sex, and he and his partner getting tested."
"Mmm," Mr. Padalecki leans back in his chair. "What about Nurse Cassidy?"
"Hasn't said anything to her, either, but she doesn't really ask. None of us do. We consider it privileged information, not medically relevant at this time."
"Yes, yes, that's what Dr. Ferris and Dr. Rosenbaum said." Mr. Padalecki huffs. "And it's no use asking any of his little friends either, I suppose?"
"I wouldn't-" Jensen pauses. "I'm not sure they'd know."
"The four of them are practically inseparable, you know. Sandra, Milo and Chad."
"Chad?" Jensen says, trying to remember where he'd heard that name before.
Mr. Padalecki frowns. "Surely he's been to visit? Chad Michael Murray; Jared's known him since he was a teenager and we moved here from San Antonio. They've been joined at the hip ever since."
"Really?" Jensen asks, immediately regretting his choice to open his big mouth. When he does, Mr. Padalecki's eyes go wide, sharing the revelation at the same time.
Mr. Padalecki's smile makes all the hairs on Jensen's neck stand on end. "He hasn't visited once? That's rather strange, don't you think?"
Are you talking to me, or are you just thinking out loud? Jensen thinks.
Mr. Padalecki doesn't respond, just leans back and drinks his coffee with a smug look. Jensen feels like he's just handed Jared over on a silver platter to his father.
**
Days go by, and Jensen doesn't mention the conversation he had with Jared's father, but he feels stabs of guilt, pangs low in his stomach. He lets Jared get away with things more, more stolen kisses and glances. Jensen touches him, his face, his hair, his hands, hoping it might make up for his unintentional betrayal. He can feel it brewing on the horizon, as Chad starts to call Jared's cell more and more frequently, and Jared ignores it as always, still thinking nothing has changed.
He knows that Mr. Padalecki's figured out who the father is, but Jensen doesn't know what he plans to do with that information. There's a pretty good possibility that he's the kind of man who might try tricking Chad into signing a contract forfeiting his parental rights without ever knowing he's the father.
Jensen's shaken out of his thoughts when Jared leans in for another taste of his mouth, lips running against Jensen's, not as nervous as the first few times. They're quick, feather-light kisses, hands cupping Jensen's chin close, making him feel adored.
"You're not allowed to look at me," Jared says when he pulls away from Jensen's mouth, eyes hooded.
"I don't think you want me jabbing your arm with my eyes closed."
"Don't tell me what I want; I fuckin' don't know what I want. I'm crazy and pregnant and alone and you're the most beautiful-" Jared swallows. "Fuck, why couldn't you have been the guy who took out my tonsils last year? Why couldn't I have met you like that?"
Jensen presses Jared's arm, finding the vein. He pulls out the alcohol swab, sterilizes the area, unwraps the needle and slides it right in. "Maybe I would've come to see your art. Like, if I had a social life or something. I'd like to think I would go to art shows if I had the chance to be that kind of guy." Jensen watches the tube fill with blood, and then pulls it away, sliding the needle out his arm before bandaging him up.
"I've done group shows, mostly. I haven't really had an idea all my own for like, a focused show," Jared says.
"You will."
"How do you know? How do you know if I'm even any good?" Jared asks, looking at Jensen, eyes pained.
Jensen's hand moves first, his hand with a mind of its own; a hand that's going to get him in deeper then a few stolen kisses. Hand resting on the swell of Jared's stomach. It's like he's watching it in slow motion, lightly pushing up Jared's shirt, revealing his bare stomach.
"Jensen," Jared whispers, voice cracking. Jensen's moving closer and closer and finally puts lips to Jared's stomach, a slow, sweet kiss. And when he stops, looks at Jared, squirming there in the bed. "Fuck, Jensen, you can't do this, you can't fucking do this. Not unless you're gonna finish it."
Jensen is only half-sure it's Jared speaking, because there's an identical voice in his head echoing the same thing. Can't do this, you can't do this, finish it...
Jensen shifts to sit on the bed and Jared leans up, and they're holding each other, kissing hard and wet and Jensen's eyes are shut and goddamn, Jared's such a good kisser; murmuring softly against Jensen's mouth. "So good, fuck, so good."
Jensen's hands twine in Jared's hair, fingers losing themselves in the length of it, tugging and rubbing his scalp. Jared's palming his own dick through the thin hospital sheets, moaning into Jensen's mouth. Jensen reaches underneath, snaking his hand inside Jared's sweatpants, straight into his boxers, grabbing his cock. It's so hard and he feels him grow, Jensen gripping him at the base. "Oh, fuck," Jared groans.
Jensen moves his hand away, and Jared whimpers at the loss of contact but then Jensen's licking his hand and grabbing his cock again. Jared's fisting Jensen's scrubs and tugging him close and he's grinning like a loon. "God, that's so fucking sexy," Jared breathes as Jensen starts running a slightly moist hand over his dick. Jensen rubs the head, precome sticky on his fingers and Jared's shifting his hips, thrusting into it. Jared nuzzles Jensen's face, scraping a cheek against his stubble, "I wanna see you on me," he whispers to Jensen. Jensen lightly strokes his balls, and Jared comes into his hand, warm and wet.
Jared falls against Jensen's chest, leaning into his body and panting. Jensen tucks Jared's head underneath his chin and strokes his back, whispering and shushing him. They separate, Jared leaning back to rest against the pillows, and Jensen quietly going to the bathroom to wash his hands. He leaves the water running and bites down on his fist as he jacks himself off into the toilet, relief washing over him when he can finally comes, the whole experience having left him hard and needing.
Jensen walks back into Jared's room. Jared's got this dreamy, blissed-out look on his face, the corners of his mouth turning up as Jensen moves closer to the bed. Jensen feels like such a fool, trading affection for forgiveness Jared doesn't even know Jensen needs yet. He crumbles down in a pile beside the bed, his head on the mattress near Jared. Jared sits up right away, turning to him, worry and panic in his voice.
"Jensen?"
"I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm really exhausted," Jensen says lifting his head to one side.
"Well, come here," Jared says, tugging on his shirt. Jensen picks himself up and Jared pulls him into the bed, turning to rest on one side while Jensen's tucked himself close, spooning against his back. Jensen throws an arm over Jared's chest, and rests his head inside the crook of his neck. He kisses the skin there, and Jared groans.
Jensen sighs. "It's a little girl."
He feels Jared tense in his arms, but his hand reaches out, squeezing the one Jensen has wrapped around the top of his chest. Their fingers weave together and Jared relaxes.
"Oh," he says, and Jensen doesn't need to see the smile he knows is there.
**
Jensen stirs when the sunlight hits his eyes, pulling the warm body closer to him. There are wisps of hair tickling his chin, and in the distance he can hear the birds chirping.
Only the birds seem to know him by name. And they're asking what the hell he thinks he's doing. In fact, they seem to be rather chatty and familiar sounding, so Jensen opens just one eye to see Katie standing in front of him, hands on her hips. The warm body he's pressed up against shakes with laughter and Jared says something that only encourages her to make more chirping noises, waving her arms around like a lunatic. It's too early for him to actually understand what she's saying. He just hears a bunch of sounds coming from her mouth. He snuggles in closer to Jared, if such a thing is possible at this point, tucking them so tight they're practically wearing the same socks.
His lips are on Jared's neck, pressing soft kisses into his skin, nose nuzzling the hairs on the back of his neck. One of Jensen's hands snakes around the pillow, and it presses against Jared's bangs, rubbing them down against his forehead.
"Hold on, Katie," Jared says, "I think someone's trying to get my attention." Jared turns his head, his entire body around in Jensen's arms until Jensen can see his face. Jensen runs his thumb along the swoop of hair plastered to Jared's forehead. "Yes, Dr. Ackles, did you need me?" Jared says, biting down a laugh.
Make the little birdie go away, Jensen says in his head; it's still too early to talk. Instead he leans in and kisses Jared, lips touching his cheeks, the tip of his nose and Jared's lips move against his own then. They kiss long and lazy, Jensen's mind fuzzy with sleep and dreams of birds chirping in the distance. The sound dissipates as Katie storms out, locking the door behind her.
"Hi," Jared says when Jensen finally stops, breathes against his cheek.
"G'morning," Jensen mumbles through the cotton in his mouth.
Jared's all smiles, eyes lit up as he laughs. "Oh, it speaks!"
"V'ry funny," Jensen yawns, stretching his jaw out and digging his nose into the side of Jared's face, right behind his ear. He kisses, then changes tactics to blow on the skin there. His arms are wrapped around Jared's shoulders, fingers laced together. "I have to get up and be a doctor soon," Jensen murmurs.
"I know." Jared sighs. "I have to be a patient and eat hospital food and get yelled at by Katie and Dr. Rosenbaum. It's a ceaseless job."
"Mmm, too bad." Jensen returns to nuzzling. "I can't help you with Katie, but if Mikey's giving you guff I can fuckin' spank him for you. Just tell him to lay off," Jensen says dazedly.
Jared laughs. "Man, you're a heavier sleeper than I thought."
"Why?"
"Dr. Rosenbaum was here a few minutes ago. We were supposed to have a morning session."
Jensen sits up very quickly, suddenly feeling nauseous, almost seasick.
**
Mike's in the staff lounge when Jensen finally tracks him down, mainlining coffee and talking to a pair of attractive young nurses.
Jensen doesn't even bother trying to emasculate him in front of the girls with some smarmy remark; he just yanks Mike aside and crooks his finger so he'll follow him. One of the resident offices is free, so Jensen locks them inside and his shoulders sink as Mike fixes him with a look.
"Okay, okay, I deserve this," Jensen says, burying his face in his hands.
"Jensen, when you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?"
"Older?"
"Seriously."
"I don't know! A doctor? Astronaut? The lead singer of Erasure?"
Mike sighs. "I didn't say who'd you want to be with, Jensen. You told me, back in med school. You said you always wanted to be a father."
Jensen feels very, very small suddenly, sitting down and trying to sink all the way into the couch cushions. "I told you that?"
Mike nods. "I mean, you were pretty drunk at the time, but seemed rather sincere. You told me how you stole your little sister's baby dolls and took them for walks in the backyard. You baby-sat for your little cousins, free of charge. You love kids? Fine. But now the problem is, you're in this situation where you've set yourself up that you get to help all the little babies you want. You never had to worry about getting attached because you're working with women but now! Now everything's turned up on its end, and there's a big six-foot-four monkeywrench named Jared Padalecki thrown into the works.
"You, my friend, are in this particular field of study for one simple reason. And if you weren't, you would have stayed in internal medicine or gone into endocrinology or something. And that reason is that you, are baby-crazy."
"I'm, baby-crazy?"
"Yes, you are, and right now you're risking your entire goddamn career."
Jensen gets defensive. "You're fucking your secretary! And you tried to set us up!"
Mike looks a little pale, pulling at his tie. "What exactly does that have to do with anything?"
"I don't know!" Jensen yells, throwing up his arms. "I just, feel like we should be even here!"
Mike sits down on the couch next to Jensen, leans his head back. "He plays footsie with me while we're standing up, y'know? In the elevator mostly-it's kind of cute and disturbing at the same time."
Jensen nods. "I know. He's like one of those dogs that's all like, bred to be powerful and gorgeous but can't walk down stairs because of inbreeding."
"Yes, Jensen, Tom Welling is a Greyhound. And you are fucking your pregnant patient!"
Jensen sits down in a chair, his head in his hands. "We're not fucking, God Mike, it's just-" Jensen sighs. "Why couldn't I meet him somewhere else? Some other time."
"Life isn't fair. Get over it and break it off now before you get too-oh fuck it. You're already too damn attached to him."
"I just want to take care of him."
Mike puts his hand on Jensen's shoulder. "Then do what's best for the both of you. Break it off, let Dr. Ferris take over."
"And what, am I supposed to go off and screw around with Tom so he'll leave you alone?" Jensen asks.
Mike looks at him, pleadingly. "Would you?"
Jensen punches him in the arm. "Deal with your own lovesick Greyhound."
Mike chews on his lip thoughtfully. "It doesn’t help that I think he's really, really pretty either, right?"
Jensen shakes his head.
"Jared really, really is crazy about you, for what it's worth."
"I am too," Jensen says.
**
Katie catches up with Jensen when he's back in the lounge. He's sitting on the couch, watching the local news with some of the other residents, while the staff buzzes about.
"D'you wanna know what I think?" Katie says sitting next to him.
"You're gonna tell me no matter what I say, right?" Jensen says stretching his arms over his head.
Katie leans her head on her arm and gives him a dreamy smile. "You're cuckoo for his Cocoa Puffs."
Jensen makes a "leave-me-alone" face.
Katie ignores him and keeps talking. "You're pretty much both absolutely crazy about each other, and you kinda just want to snuggle-all the damn time. You walked right into the dumbest and most dangerous, career threatening, and pretty much wrongest relationship you could ever, ever end up in. And you did it, kicking and screaming and fighting it all the way. So do you want to know why?"
Jensen smiles grimly. "Because I'm baby-crazy?"
"Because love will fuck you up like that. Love will make you date an emotionally stunted man-child who still wears Spider-Man underoos and uses more product in his hair than you do and you're pretty sure he waxes his eyebrows and steals your John Frieda shampoo..." Katie takes a deep breath. "But at the end of the day, he'll rub your shoulders and paint your toes and tell you you're beautiful and he never ever forgets to tape Oprah, and God help me, I love that thumb-sucking freaking man-child I call my boyfriend."
Jensen blinks. "Katie?"
"I'd marry him in a hot minute. I'd probably have to write all the vows out phonetically, but he'd let me do it because he puts up with me being a control freak like that."
"And this has to do with me torpedoing my career by hooking up with one of my patients, how?"
"Love is blind and deaf and dumb and it's not something you have any control over. So don't beat yourself up too much."
"Thanks, Katie."
"Anytime, Jensen." She pats his knee. "Now, stop brooding by yourself. If you're gonna be all pouty you might as well go where it's appreciated. And rewarded."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Dude, you should hear how he goes on and on about your mouth."
Jensen scoffs, but when he finds himself back up in Jared's room, he locks the door and shoves a chair in front of it so no one can bust in on them.
"I wanna take you away from here, "Jensen breathes against Jared's neck. Jared's arms wrap around him, thumbs rubbing little circles into his back.
"Yeah?" Jared says, stopping to kiss Jensen's temple.
"Mmm, just one more time, I want to-"
"I could show you my studio. I really want you to see my stuff."
"I'd lo-like that a lot. I want to see your art." Jensen plays with the side of Jared's face, running a thumb along the shell of his ear. It makes Jared squirm, face pulling tight in a smile.
"You really want to take me outside? I'm all big and fat and obvious now," Jared says, gesturing to his swelled stomach.
Eight months. Eight months he's broken all the rules, eight months of driving Dr. Ferris crazy with the very fact of his existence. Well, of both of them, him and his unborn daughter. But they're so close to being at the end of this pregnancy and all Jensen wants is one day, one day for just them. One day before everything has to change.
"Yeah, yeah, I want to get take you away. Saturday, we can use my day off, I've finished my clinic hours and Katie's on your detail, so she could help."
Jared beams at him. "It sounds amazing. You think Katie will cover for us?"
"Mmm-hmm." Jensen nods. "I can take you to my place, make you dinner."
"Uhh, you had me at food that isn't from a hospital!" Jared says leaning into Jensen, pretending to collapse with joy. Jensen just laugh and holds him tighter, not realizing he's been touching Jared's stomach and stroking it the entire time until he finally feels it - a kick, right against his palm. Jared freezes, swallowing nervously as Jensen just stares at his hand on Jared's stomach, feels another kick inside.
"You're so amazing," Jensen whispers, then lifts his head and stares into Jared's eyes. "Both of you."
**
"Sorry if it's kind of a mess," Jared says, turning the key to the door.
"I'm sure it's not that-holy shit." Jensen's mouth drops open.
Jared laughs. "You've never seen a working studio, have you?"
"Oh my God, it's just, there's so much stuff everywhere." Jensen says as he stares at the walls, sculptures protruding out from some of them, hanging from the ceilings. There are source materials everywhere, wood and plaster, wires and feathers and bins of marbles and little plastic chips. Styrofoam sheets and peanuts over to one side, sealed boxes of clay piled up on the other.
"So, this is where I work, mostly with found objects, but I've been getting into ceramics. I'm saving up to find a bigger studio so I can install a kiln, or maybe get the building super to sign off on it so I can put one in here. I've been using air-dry stuff in the meantime, see?" Jared leads him over to a walk-in closet lined with shelves and shelves of clay pots and statues.
"And um, here's the pottery wheel, I'm sure Katie told you about the Ghost joke so I won't bother-"
"Right, the one's she's been making. No, she hasn't shared, maybe you should- "
"Oh God, don't make me tell you," Jared says, freezing.
Jensen snickers, casting his eyes to the floor, "Yeah, Katie has quite an imagination. I'm sure I can guess."
"Mmm, and um," Jared stammers. "Um, is it okay if I end the tour for a sec? I just kinda want to-" Jared's swaying on his feet and Jensen's right there, leading him towards the couch in the center of the room.
"It's fine, Jared, I know it must be exhausting. Where should these go?" Jensen asks about the newspapers covering one whole side.
"Just, anywhere is fine," Jared says as he sits down, sinking into the well-worn cushions. "Ahh, I missed this. I pretty much slept on this baby every night in college when I was finishing up for the senior show and my portfolio review. I kinda just stayed here afterwards, didn't go back home until I found out I was, uhhh, knocked up."
"It's comfy," Jensen smiles. Jared's touching his stomach again, and Jensen reaches over, laying his palm against it.
"That was really cool the other night, y'know?" Jared says.
Jensen nods in agreement. "Yeah," Jensen says, voice breaking a little.
"Hey Jensen?" Jared asks. "Do you like kids?"
Jensen tries not to think of Mike and all of his baby-crazy accusations. "Yeah, I guess I do."
"I don't know if I'm like, one of those people that-well I don't know if I really like kids. I mean, I had a little sister growing up but like, I didn't have to raise her, and we fought a lot. I mean, she had good reason not to like me when I dipped her Barbie's hair in food coloring, but I don't know. I didn't even get those warm, squishy baby feelings when my brother had his kids-"
Jensen touches his mouth, cutting him off. "I know where you're going, Jared. You don't have to justify your decisions to me. If you're not ready to have a kid, then you're not ready. Your parents seem more than willing to help you out."
"You don't think I'm selling out my kid for Europe?"
"Well, do you think you'd be going there if you weren't having a kid?"
"I don't know." Jared bites his mouth. "I'm spoiled. I mean, maybe? My mom might have sent me if I'd asked, but my dad's never cared about my art before. So it feels like, like I might be?"
"Jared, can I tell you something?"
"Mmm-hmm, anything, just shut me up," Jared says, nodding quickly.
"I've delivered a lot of kids. I mean, I don't count really, but I've been in residency for three, going on four years now. And I kind of notice that when you have a kid, or at least it's been my experience, that there's this moment when you realize your entire world is about to change, and you're not afraid of it. Afterwards, before; sure you're scared, you're terrified. You don't know what's going to happen and you're not sure how you're what kind of parent you're going to be. But there is a moment when you're holding a newborn, and everything changes, and it's okay."
Jared doesn't say anything. Just moves closer to Jensen, putting his head on his shoulder. About a half-hour later Jensen asks him if he's ready to leave, and Jared nods.
**
"See I'm kind of going to be sad when you actually stop cooking because then your place won't smell like butter anymore." Jared inhales. "Mmm, so good."
Jensen laughs. "Yes, but when I stop cooking you'll be eating."
"Oooh, good point. Still! I'm enjoying all the nice butter-smells that you've got going on here right now."
"Will you quit saying my apartment smells like butter?" Jensen says as he turns the tilapia filets over in the sauté pan.
"It does!"
"It smells like buttery fish, not butter."
"All I smell is the butter."
"You've got a very selective nose, then," Jensen says. Jared nods and puts his head in his hands, watching from the table as Jensen busies himself in the kitchen. Jensen catches him and turns. "What?"
"Nothing," Jared says, looking down at the place setting in front of him, trying not to fidget with his hands, forcing it too much for Jensen to believe it. Jensen steps forward, leaning down to kiss Jared's cheek from where he's sitting. Jared reaches his arm up and holds Jensen there, nuzzling his face.
"We could stay here, tonight," Jensen says.
Jared pauses, his fingers rubbing the soft, short hair on the back of Jensen's head. "I think I'd like that."
"Not just because my house will still smell like butter, right?"
Jared pulls a face. "Well, that might be one of the reasons..."
**
Jensen hesitates, almost offering Jared the bed while he takes the couch or curls up in his office chair in the spare room. But then he realizes that Jared's already got him by the hand, not letting go as Jensen leads him to the bedroom. It's weird: Jensen knows they aren't really sleeping together, and as much as they'll mess around, maybe get each other off, it feels like it's all still so innocent.
But he feels more like they skipped a step in the relationship. They missed out on all the wild and crazy nights of sex and dirty talk and being completely uninhibited and learning everything they possibly could about each other's bodies. It feels like they jumped right into that comfort zone, where you just want to nestle in each other's arms, and it's enough.
Jensen gives Jared one of his old, worn shirts to sleep in, and Jared strips down to just that and his boxers. "Y'know, you can still sleep naked if you want to," he laughs, "I don't really mind."
Jensen cocks an eyebrow. "And what makes you think that I sleep naked?"
"I don't, I mean you're not giving off 'naked-sleeper' vibes, if that's what you're worried about. I was just kind of hoping you were one." Jared shrugs. Jensen kicks off his shoes, steps out of his socks and starts unbuckling his belt.
"But then I'd be the only naked one."
Jared scoffs. "C'mon you don't really want to see me like this."
"I have. I'm your doctor."
"Yeah, but-" Jared bites his lip as Jensen pulls his shirt off over his head. "Not right now, you're not. You're my-" and Jared doesn't finish his sentence.
"I'm your...? I'm your what?" Jensen mocks, shucking off his jeans.
"You know."
"Because I do sleep naked, Jared. But only when I'm not the only one." Jensen slips under the covers on the other side of the bed. "It'd be embarrassing."
"I'm pregnant, asshole." Jared smacks him on the shoulder.
"And me being naked will help that how?" Jensen says, fighting back and mussing up Jared's hair. "Huh? What're you gonna do for me, huh?"
Jared laughs and reaches over, pulling him in close, nipping Jensen's chin. "I'll do lots of things for you after you get this kid out of me."
"Mmm, promises, promise-"
"I'll fucking jump you, you know? You won't hear me coming but I'll get you in the hallway, pull you into some empty room and tear your scrubs off with my teeth." Jared flashes his pearly whites for effect.
"Oh, fuck," Jensen says, thinking of Jared's mouth all over his body.
"That's right, we'll fuck right there on a hospital bed. You with your gorgeous, naked body under mine. I'll taste you everywhere, rub your face all over me and you'll have that sexy stubble you get when you don't shave for a while. I'll suck your cock until you come in my mouth, shoot down my throat and then I'll suck the skin of your hipbones-my tongue sliding into the dips and planes of your body, fucking want the taste of your sweat and your come-the smell of it on me for days."
Jensen's eyes roll in the back of his head, Jared whispering everything dirty and wonderful into his ear and he's stroking himself-God, it's so fucking good-then Jared's hand comes down on his cock, under the waistband of his boxers.
"I want to-let me touch you, Jensen," Jared says, breathing hard.
"Do it." Jensen swallows, and Jared puts his big, thick hand on Jensen's dick, stroking and pumping him. There's lube in the nightstand, Jared must have found it, or maybe Jensen's thinking out loud, but he's not complaining. Jared's hands are strong and wide, goddamn, slicking up his cock. It feels too good.
"I can't-I can't fucking wait to be with you Jensen. I'm so goddamn impatient, I want you; I want it to be so good for you. I want you so fucking-"
"Europe," Jensen gasps. "What about Europe?"
Jared smiles. "Europe's not going anywhere. First I'm gonna get you. I'm a spoiled little rich kid, remember? I get what I want."
Jensen laughs. "So whatever Lola wants?"
Jared leans up to kiss along his neck. "I like it better when you call me your little seahorse. Because that's it, really. I'm yours."
Jensen comes into Jared's hand.
**
Waking up next to Jared is the best thing ever. Jensen's happy because Jared's kind of like a furnace, and he's usually cold in the morning. Jensen kisses Jared's shoulder through the t-shirt, and hears him mumble and stir.
"Jessen..." Jared slurs, and turns over to face him.
"Morning," Jensen says, touching his face.
"I have to-have to ask you something."
Jensen starts to sit up and stretches his arms over his head. "C'mon, seahorse, we gotta get up."
"Wait," Jared's voice is sharp. He shakes off the sleepiness of the morning in an instant. "It's important."
"Okay," Jensen stops getting out of bed and faces Jared. "Okay, I'm listening."
Jared licks his lips. "Dr. Ferris says this surgery, is really risky. I mean, like you said I'm going to be under the gas, I'm not going to just wake up right away and I'm thinking; I'm thinking about what happens if I don't? Because, it's what I have to do now, I'm trying to be the whole, 'responsible young adult who fucked up and got pregnant, whether by my own stupidity or from being cursed by an Egyptian ram-god'. Anyway-"
Jensen pretends to nod off and snore, and Jared smacks him on the shoulder.
"I have a point! I'm getting there!" Jared says sitting up, his back against the pillows. He lays his hands on his stomach. He's been doing that more and more ever since she started moving around in there. "The point is, well I know you're going to be there, and so I just want you to, y'know, if something bad happens." Jared looks down.
"Are you talking about a living will, Jared?"
"No! God no, I was just... Oh fuck it. Eve. I want her name to be Eve, okay? I need you to make sure that happens, because it took me forever to settle on one and I'm really going to be upset if my mom names her something stupid; I mean she named her Shar-pei 'Muffintop', for crying out loud! And um, well, that's it. My mom and dad can come up with whatever stupid middle name they want, just make sure her first name is Eve."
Jensen nods. "Eve."
"Yeah."
Jensen leans in to kiss Jared. "I like it," he says, smiling and pulling back.
Jared looks like he might cry. He's been handling the hormone swings and the stress pretty well but in that moment, Jensen really thinks Jared might finally crack. Instead he just takes a deep breath and mumbles his thanks.
"I'm really looking forward to meeting you, Eve," Jensen whispers at Jared's stomach. And Jared sniffs, hopping out of the bed.
"Ohhh, that is! That is not fair!" he shouts, making a beeline for the bathroom and slamming the door as Jensen laughs, realizing that Jared's running off so that Jensen won't see him finally lose it.
"Does my little seahorse have something in his eye?" Jensen calls out to him.
"Shut up! I'm tired!" Jared shouts back and Jensen beams.
**
Monday morning and Jensen's got flutters in his stomach as he takes the elevator to Jared's room. Jared's reading the paper and nibbling on bacon dipped in ketchup when Jensen bursts in the door, big dopey grin on his face. But Jared's got one to match.
"How's my little seahorse today?"
"Bacon! Bacon that hasn't been burnt into charcoal!" Jared says, holding up a strip of perfectly cooked bacon.
"It's a hospital miracle!" Jensen gasps, leaning in. "Are we alone?"
"Mmm, yeah." Jared pops another piece in his mouth. Jensen kisses him, pulling him closer by the nape of his neck. Jared reaches up to hold his face, and he makes a whimpering sound when Jensen pulls back.
"So, um, we've got a room," Jensen says, ducking his head.
"I'm sorry, what?" Jared says, worrying his brow.
"We have a room booked for the surgery. We're doing it later in the week. Might be as early as Wednesday-mmmph!" Jensen's muffled when Jared leaps up, knocking his chair down the floor and smashing their mouths together.
"Oh God, oh fuck, Jensen, we're gonna-" Jared moans when he pulls back.
"I know, I know, it's really happening!" Jensen says, squeezing his hand, and then there's a sudden clamor from the hallway, shouting and banging on doors.
"Where is he?" someone screams from the hall, the door swinging open all of a sudden.
It's Jared's friend from the diner, Chad.
Jared makes an odd squeaking sound and ducks away, moving quickly to the windows to hide himself behind a curtain. Jensen's mouth is still hanging open and he suddenly remembers why Jared's running scared.
Chad's the father, and he doesn't know.
"Where the hell is he?"
"Is..."
"Jared. Fucking. Padalecki. Where the hell is that Sasquatch mother-ugh, that fucking ass-oh God damn it! Jared!" Chad shouts, tearing through the room while Jensen just stares. He rips back the curtains and Jared's huddled with his back to Chad.
"Oh, hi, Chad," he says, turning quickly as Chad tries to get a look at him from the front.
"Will you just stop it!" Chad grabs him, spins him around and then steps back, clapping his hands over his mouth. "Oh fuck, fuck!"
"Chad, listen," Jared starts.
"Fuck me, shit! Shit! You're, you're fucking pregnant!" Chad spins around, looking towards Jensen. "You weren't lying."
"Why would I lie?" Jared's father says, appearing in the doorway, his hands crossed over his chest.
"Oh fuck, fucking fuck! Jared, I can't, you! Fucking! Babies!"
"Chad, calm down, my dad is okay with just, making this go away, kind of."
"So it is mine." Chad's quiet all of a sudden.
Jared bites his lip. "Yeah."
"Fuck." Chad sits down on the bed, his head in his hands. Jared sits down next to him, drawing his legs up as best he can.
Mr. Padalecki steps forward. "Chad, I know this is a bad time, but when you've finished letting this all sink in, my lawyer has the paperwork ready for you to sign. Like my son said, my wife and I are prepared to take full responsibility for the well-being of this child."
Chad's still stunned. "It's a child?"
"It's a girl," Jared says.
"I'm going to have a daughter. I just got Sophia to stop throwing her stiletto pumps at me and she's letting me take her to dinner Friday night and someone else is having my baby. Oh God, it's so pathetic and perfect that it's funny." Chad laughs into his hands.
"Um yeah, Jen-Dr. Ackles thinks he can do the delivery on Wednesday or later this week."
"Well, that's just great, we can bring the damn baby to Château Brulé!" Chad throws his hands up, looking at Jensen, and then narrowing his eyes. "Wait a minute... Don't I know you?" Jensen's eyes go wide and he shakes his head, covering his mouth with his hand.
"Did I miss something?" Katie asks as she wanders into the room holding Jared's chart.
"I remember you! You were in the diner that night with Sandy and Milo. The night Jared was under the table! You two dating or something?"
"He was, out with who?" Mr. Padalecki cocks his head to one side.
"Chad, shut up..." Jared says through clenched teeth. Jensen can't seem to find his voice, Katie just stares along with him, her hand clamped over her mouth.
"He was out with Sandy and Milo at the diner, the both of them. Wait, fuck are you his doctor too?" Chad says, putting together Jensen's scrubs and stethoscope.
"Chad! Shut up!" Jared screams.
"You took my son out of the hospital," Mr. Padalecki says, turning to him, face tight. Jensen still can't answer, he just looks at Jared.
"Stop it! Will you all just-" Jared's face is red and strained, and he sinks to the ground. "Oh, oh okay this hurts."
That switch goes off in Jensen's brain and he's at Jared's side, helping him up into the bed, shouting orders at Katie, and practically shoving Mr. Padalecki and Chad out the door with one hand, eventually letting security remove them.
It turns out to be fine, the pains in Jared's abdomen most likely caused by the stress, and the strain his body is under. They stabilize him with oxygen, and give him a mild sedative to help him rest.
"Stay here," Jared says to Jensen as Katie takes off the oxygen mask.
"Wasn't thinking of leaving," Jensen says shaking his head. He takes Jared's hand and Katie quietly lets herself out.
"Promise me you'll be here when she's born, no matter what. I won't do it without you," Jared says, his eyes starting to flutter shut.
"I'll be there."
"Promise you'll... promise you'll stay," Jared can barely keep awake. Jensen shushes him.
Jensen kisses the palm of his hand. "Just rest, okay? You're not just doing it for yourself, you need to take care of her. You need to rest for her. Whatever happens next, we'll deal with it when it happens."
Jensen stays at his bedside until about thirty minutes later, when Dr. Ferris knocks, and lets herself in the room. She fixes him with a concerned look. "Dr. Ackles-Jensen, the hospital board of directors would like to see us."
**
Jensen gets out of the meeting with the hospital board feeling like he doesn't really know what happened, just dazed as everything changed right in front of him. Dr. Ferris has her hand on his back, steadying him as he walks towards the staff room.
"What happened?" Mike's there with Katie too, and Jensen must have said something like, "Get me out of here," because Mike's walking him from the building, arms wrapped around his shoulders.
The bar is open, some of the patrons eying them when they walk in, Jensen and Katie still in scrubs and Dr. Ferris in her white lab coat. It's lunchtime, so Mike orders plenty of fried food with their beer and assures Jensen he's not slipping into alcoholism.
"So um," Jensen finally says once he's gotten some bites of burger into him. "I'm suspended for a week, without pay. Well, technically I'm not suspended, I'm just 'out sick', but that's only to save face."
"What?" Katie groans in annoyance.
"None of this actually exists. All the records, Jared's stay in the hospital, and pregnancy, the delivery? It's all going to be sealed or destroyed. The board says I'm either an evil genius, or I'm dumb and lucky, because I've basically gotten off scott-fucking-free." Jensen laughs bitterly.
"Whoa," Mike says.
"But the suspension?" Katie asks.
"They're calling it 'voluntary leave'," Dr. Ferris says.
Jensen nods. "I have to call in sick for a week. Then I'm supposed to report for the extra clinic duty I'm so kindly volunteering for. Over the next six months."
Katie puts her hand on Jensen's shoulder, giving it a squeeze. He smiles at her.
Dr. Ferris crosses her arms on the table. "It's clever, really. Suspending you for that amount of time should ensure you miss the birth, and that Jared will be discharged-"
"-by the time I get back, I know."
Dr. Ferris leans in closer. "So, you're not going to scrub in tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow?"
"Before your hearing, the board cleared my team for the operation in Surgery 12. And I know what you're thinking, Jensen," Dr. Ferris says, holding up a hand before Jensen can say anything. "You're thinking about how if you scrubbed in, well, the family watching from the stadium probably wouldn't even recognize you with your mask on. And well, the board can't fire you for attending a surgery that never existed. A surgery we're doing tomorrow at eleven am sharp. In Surgery 12."
Jensen furrows his brow. "Dr. Ferris?"
"So you understand that you shouldn't plan on scrubbing in and showing up at 11:30 when Katie will have unlocked the side door, right?"
A grin bubbles up on Katie's face, and she nods emphatically.
Dr. Ferris waves her finger at him, menacingly. "Because if you did, and let me be perfectly clear. You would not be in any trouble at all. And I mean it."
Jensen suddenly gets why Katie thinks she's so damn cool.
**
Fry