Emotional Support
Title: Emotional Support
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 8,356
Pairing: Junba
Warnings: Fluff alert!
Summary: Jun hesitantly joins Aiba's singles support group, and is rewarded beyond expectation.
Notes: Originally written for and posted at aibaexchange, which was incredibly fun and I hope everyone comes back to do again next year!
Also at ao3
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR NIIINOOOOOO
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
Jun clapped enthusiastically as the song ended with Nino having a slice of cake smashed into his face. Nino was usually the one instigating something like that. It was about time he had a taste of his own medicine.
"That's what he gets for being cheap and not buying candles," Jun joked, thinking that Sho was still beside him.
"I was supposed to buy them, actually, but I completely forgot what I was in charge of and ended up bringing beer instead."
Jun was surprised by the unfamiliar voice that answered him, turning quickly to see who'd been speaking. He smiled as his gaze was met by warm brown eyes.
"That's great," he responded with a chuckle, "No candles ended up being way more entertaining."
"I'm Aiba Masaki," the man greeted, sticking out his hand. Jun didn't hesitate to take it, happy to share a handshake with an accidental genius.
"Matsumoto Jun," he introduced himself, "I work with Nino sometimes."
"I'm Aiba Masaki," Aiba said again, making Jun laugh. He seemed to realize his mistake, but kept smiling as he added, "I'm Nino's friend."
"Aiba Masaki, was it? I'm Matsumoto Jun," Jun teased him, squeezing Aiba's hand and continuing to shake.
"Oh, nice to meet you Matsumoto-san! My name's Aiba, Aiba Masaki."
Jun finally let go of his hand, wondering if he was right in thinking Aiba was the name of Nino's childhood friend. He'd definitely been mentioned before, a key player in many Nino stories. Jun was curious enough about this friend of a friend that he was prepared to take on some small talk to get to know him better, but Sho chose that moment to make his reappearance between them.
"Hey, sent you an email. There's some kind of miscommunication with the hotel at the Yamamoto event. They need your input," his friend explained, "And I need some of that cake!"
Jun watched him push his way through some partygoers to try and get at the dessert table, shaking his head fondly. He gave Aiba an apologetic smile, but knew this was one instance where work couldn't quite wait.
"Don't let me keep you," Aiba said, holding up his hands to show it was no problem. "It was nice to meet you, uh...?"
"Cute," Jun responded, nudging Aiba with his shoulder before he left.
--
Jun glanced down once more at the name and address of the bar in his messages, then at the sign above the door. He wouldn't typically be out for drinks in the middle of the week, but tonight was a special exception.
Aiba Masaki had come up with an idea for a group, a bi-weekly gathering for single men trying their best to navigate the choppy waters of Tokyo's dating scene. Nino wasn't single, but he knew Jun was, and had suggested he swing by a group meeting to see what the hype was all about now that he and Aiba had met (and by the transitive property of Nino were now also good friends).
The hype turned out to be no more than Nino's word that the group existed, though. When Jun scanned the bar for signs of it, his eyes landed on Aiba - completely alone at a table for two.
"Either you were the only one who wanted to come, or you were the only person he asked," Aiba informed him with a sheepish grin.
It wouldn't be all that surprising to find out either option was true. Nino wasn't the type to put in more effort than he had to for anything, and a singles group for men wasn't really... well, it was the first time Jun had heard of one that was meant to be a support group. There were plenty of options for goukons and hookups, but this was something unique.
Or at least it was supposed to be. Now that he found himself the only member aside from the group's creator, he was wondering if he hadn't lost his mind entirely. It would probably be for the best to wish Aiba luck with his next meeting and head home before the deep embarrassment had a chance to set in.
"Look, I know you're thinking about leaving and I don't blame you, but at least stay for a free drink?" Aiba suggested hopefully, pulling out his wallet. He set it on the table between them and gave it a gentle pat as he smiled brightly. "One drink for one date story. We'll just see how it goes."
Jun's eyes darted between the wallet and Aiba's expression, his hand twitching on his thigh. He wasn't Nino. He didn't need something for free in order to hang out with someone. In fact, he'd happily purchase his own drinks - several, to make this whole thing less awkward. The look on Aiba's face, however, was one that resonated with him. How many times had he either chickened out on asking for advice, or been brushed off when in need of a friendly ear?
He sighed deeply, but nodded at the man across the table.
"Sounds fair. But who's telling the story, me or you?" he asked.
"Uuuuhhh... I'll go first!" Aiba volunteered, his hand shooting high into the air. Jun laughed softly at his eagerness, but gestured for Aiba to take the lead.
"One of the reasons I wanted to start this group in the first place was because I had a date with this sweet guy, pretty good looking, but kind of... older," Aiba began.
Jun raised an eyebrow, but so far it didn't seem too strange. Everyone had their own age range they felt comfortable with, and if Aiba was okay with an older man, Jun was okay with hearing about it. More than anything he was curious about the fact that Aiba dated men in general. He hadn't been expecting that they'd share that in common, but it definitely made him feel more at ease about opening up.
"We met up and got to talking and it was really obvious that he wasn't looking for a date, but more like... a good time, you know? I knew I'd have to make a choice about what I was willing to do and all, but then he starts talking about his wife and how she's okay with it but only if she can be in the room too."
Jun's jaw dropped slightly as he processed that information, but Aiba's nervous expression made him burst into loud peals of laughter. He'd been asked to do a lot of things in his time, but that was something that had never come up. He had to wonder if it had, if he'd look as traumatized as Aiba did even in retelling the moment.
What had he gotten himself into with this? He was grateful to to the servers for bringing his beer, taking a big gulp as Aiba turned the attention back to him.
"What's the weirdest date you've been on recently?" Aiba asked.
"Is this a date? Does this one count?" Jun asked teasingly, but then put his hand to his chin as he thought it over properly. "Maybe the time this guy took me to the movies, but kept looking away from the screen and at my feet instead."
He'd always been a little uncertain about wearing sandals after that.
More drinks naturally encouraged more conversation about relationships, and before long Jun had to admit that he was incredibly relaxed in Aiba's company. It felt good to say whatever came to mind, not to hold back when asked about his earliest crushes or where he'd kept his dirty magazines. As they started getting nostalgic about the early days of dating, Jun tried to describe what his type had been in high school.
"I've never had a type exactly. Maybe I do now, but I didn't when I was younger. Back then, when I liked someone, it just happened, you know? I think maybe I was always more interested in how to make things exciting if we dated, rather than paying as much attention to the person," Jun explained, immediately thinking he'd said too much. It was too real.
But then, if he didn't take this thing seriously, he'd never get meaningful advice.
"I just kept falling in love with basketball players," Aiba offered up with a loud laugh.
"Basketball? Huh," Jun replied. He'd not have guessed that.
"Yeah. I had a one track mind there for awhile. I wanted to be a basketball star and date a basketball star and own a pet monkey and teach him to play basketball too," Aiba told him.
"Is that still what you want?" Jun asked, curious about what might have changed over the years. Maybe Aiba was obsessed with a new sport now. Maybe he had a pet rabbit that could golf.
"I think I just want to be happy," Aiba stated simply.
Happy. Yeah. Jun couldn't disagree with wanting to be happy. In fact, he'd say that being happy was his biggest non-negotiable too. Although...
"I feel bad now. I had a whole checklist," Jun revealed to him, laughing into his glass of beer. If it all it took was happiness, maybe he didn't need to date at all! He was happy enough as he was right now, drinking beer and cracking jokes with Nino's childhood friend.
"You can't say that and not tell me what's on it," Aiba protested, prodding Jun's feet with his own beneath the table.
Well. Fine. He'd been telling Aiba everything else, he might as well get this out of the way. Jun knocked back the rest of his beer and sat up straighter, ready to dive in.
"It's not a long list, but it's still important. Number one, I want someone tall-ish with some muscle on him, pref-"
"EH!" Aiba cut in before Jun could finish, eyes widening in amusement. "It's about the looks? Wow, Matsujun, wow wow woooow."
"Shut up," Jun warned with a roll of his eyes, laughing softly in spite of himself. "It's not only about looks, but looks are there. It's my list, I make the rules! So, tall with some muscles, but most importantly a great ass. And then stuff like, uh, steady job and isn't too arrogant. Boring details like that."
"So you're a butt man."
"I'm a butt man," Jun confirmed. He wasn't ashamed! In disbelief that he'd shared that information tonight, maybe, but not ashamed. "What about you?"
Aiba seemed to think about it for a moment, then answered, "I like dick I guess."
Jun choked on air at the bluntness of Aiba's comment, doubling over with hysterical laughter before he could process what he'd just heard. It wasn't even all that weird for Aiba to say, given the context of the conversation, but Jun was absolutely certain no one had ever said that to him before.
"That's enough," Jun decided, shaking his head but continuing to laugh. "That's enough support for this meeting, Aiba-chan, oh my god."
Aiba looked a little red in the face, but not so much like he regretted saying it. Good then. Neither of them were ashamed. It felt to Jun as if a special connection had been made tonight - a trust earned in the strangest of circumstances.
"A support group with only two people sounds like the saddest thing in the world, but you know what?" Jun added, taking one more second to think it over before making his mind up.
Why not?
"You've convinced me, Aiba-chan. Count me in!"
--
Aiba was lucky that he was so impossibly charming. There were very few things that could get Jun out of the house before noon on a day off, meeting up with close friends included. But since it had already been a month since he first joined, Jun felt obligated to the singles support group now. When a member of the group was in need you had to be there for him.
Aiba was still the only other member, but the sentiment remained valid in Jun's opinion.
He'd gotten a message late the night before that Aiba's date had gone terribly, and in a drunken lapse of judgment had agreed to go to breakfast. He could have done the responsible thing then and headed home, instead of calling his friend Toma and drinking for three more hours, but what was done was done.
Jun wasn't feeling particularly human this early, gripping his iced coffee tight in hand, but at least he was present. It also helped that as he waited at their decided rendezvous point, he got to bombard Aiba's phone with increasingly grumpy LINE stickers. By the time he'd run out of proper representations for his mood and was just using every single emoji available, he actually wasn't all that annoyed anymore. He even managed to smile as Aiba popped up in his line of vision, waving his arms above his head.
"Hi Matsujun," Aiba greeted.
"Hello, Aiba-chan."
"So."
"So?"
"So it was my fault," Aiba started to explain, shaking his head sadly. "He said his body type was athletic and he liked being outdoors! I suggested we go on an outdoor date and he thought that meant I'd planned something."
It took a lot of restraint not to tell Aiba that of course he was meant to have planned something. Jun simply nodded in acknowledgement, letting Aiba continue.
"I'm usually good at being spontaneous, but my mind went totally blank after we met at the station. He just followed me around shopping for two hours before he made up an excuse to leave."
"You idiot," Jun mumbled in amusement. He landed a smack to the back of Aiba's head, and was only a little sorry he'd not bothered to take his rings off first.
On the one hand, what Aiba had described sounded truly terrible. Meeting up with someone only to find out that they hadn't given the date any thought and there was nothing to actually do. On the other hand, he and Aiba had met up quite a few times already without much of a schedule involved, and it always seemed to turn out well for them.
Jun had always liked shopping, though.
"I'm pretty sure outdoor dates would be things like hiking, picnics, maybe going to the moun-"
"I know," Aiba interrupted, "I know. But I've been distracted lately and the time flew by before I knew it. It was a big fail."
Jun reached out to give his friend a small, sympathetic pat on the back. Whether it was his own fault or not, having a date go wrong was never fun, especially if you thought you might really like the guy.
"Well, you wanted to meet up and talk about it, so... why don't we come up with the ideal outdoor date? Then you'll have one ready to go the next time you meet someone outdoorsy," Jun suggested.
Aiba agreed quickly, holding the door open for Jun as they entered Aiba's chosen breakfast place.
"That would be perfect."
Coming up with an outdoor date soon turned into a full on brainstorming session over far-too-rich waffles with fruit piled high on top. Each and every slice of banana or strawberry that left Aiba's plate managed to draw Jun's attention to Aiba's mouth. He'd never seen someone who ate the way that Aiba did, tongue coming out first to cheerfully scoop up his target. It made it a little difficult to keep his mind on the task at hand.
Aiba, however, gave full focus to every idea Jun tossed his way. He leaned forward attentively, and nodded in places, making Jun feel like he was heard easily above the chatter of a full cafe.
"So we have the beach, surfing, a barbecue, and stargazing," Aiba listed the results of their hard work.
"Sounds like a full day to me. So I guess the next step is to figure out what it costs and how you can reasonably pull it off. But once you know how you'll do it, it's there. You have it waiting in your back pocket," Jun concluded, and pushed his plate away before he could consume any more sugar.
"What about your ideal outdoor date?" Aiba asked. He paused a moment to request a check, then turned to look at Jun once more. "What would you want to do?"
"Oh, I'd have exactly the same date," Jun admitted, but a smirk played at his lips. "Well, not exactly the same. I'd make sure I ended up surfing the biggest wave, that's in the rules for mine."
"Then it is exactly the same," Aiba argued, "because I'm not going easy on anybody."
"You can't. You have to impress the guy," Jun agreed emphatically.
"And then you have to come out of the ocean slowly and run your hand through your hair while he's watching," Aiba added on before they both began to laugh.
Jun didn't mind if what he was about to say was too flirty, it was merely the facts. He doubted even the unhappy shopper would be able to resist Aiba Masaki in a wetsuit. Sunkissed. Catching his breath after catching a wave.
"Trust me, Aiba-chan, that's the way to go. It's a total home run."
--
"GRAND SLAAAAAAAM," Aiba announced as he slid into home.
"It's not a grand slam, you idiot, there was no one else running!" Nino shouted from the pitcher's mound.
With only four players for the day, the best they could arrange was a pitcher, someone at bat, an umpire that doubled as a baseman when needed, and someone out in the field. It was about the most ineffective way to play baseball that Jun had ever seen, but it was making for an amusing afternoon - and getting to play in some capacity was better than nothing. He'd barely touched a glove since middle school!
Jun stepped out from behind home plate as Aiba was standing up, offering him a hand. Once his friend was back on his feet, Jun dropped his forehead and wiped his sweat against Aiba's sleeve. No use. They were all melting beneath the hot August sun.
Still, he smiled as he both heard and felt Aiba's joyful chuckle.
"I wish I'd had time to play with you guys before now. I would have liked to get the official uniform," Jun told him as he lifted his head, avoiding the glare of the sun by keeping his eyes on Aiba's chest.
The uniform was just some black stripes with a vaguely athletic font reading LIZARDS across the front of the jerseys in green, but that was more than most play-for-fun teams would bother to put together. Nino had talked about owning one before, but Jun had never seen him in it. Even today his friend had opted for his own old t-shirt and shorts.
"Why the lizards?" he asked, signaling to Nino that he needed a break and heading to the bench to grab some water.
"Oh-chan had a lizard for awhile. He used to let us borrow him as a mascot, but then his mom became attached to the little guy," Aiba explained, waiting for Jun to finish his sip of water before taking the bottle and stealing a sip for himself.
"Who's Oh-chan? Another teammate?"
Jun had only met Darvish today, a player that Nino and Aiba had introduced by saying 'Don't worry about him. It's just Darvish.' There were apparently other people involved in all this, enough to have a team in the first place, but coordinating schedules didn't seem to be anyone's strong suit. It was so wonderfully representative of Aiba and Nino and their approach to hobbies that Jun didn't see any reason to call them on it. Besides, the informal nature of it all had made it possible for him to crash their practice.
"Nah, he's not really a baseball person. Oh-chan's the man that makes it all happen at the morning show," Aiba informed him, taking off his cap and doing his best to fan them both with it.
"I thought you were the one who made it all happen," Jun said.
"I come up with the ideas, yeah, but Ohno makes the props and paints the scenery. Kids have great imaginations and they want to make-believe with you, but the really young ones draw the line at green screens. They just don't get it. If I didn't have Oh-chan, I don't think the kids would be as excited to play the games and stuff."
"Play games?" Nino jumped into the conversation as he joined them at the bench. It was eerie how even the idea of gaming seemed to summon Nino instantly.
"Is that what you two talk about at those single meetings? I had a feeling that was all a cover for kinky stuff."
"You know if that were true, you'd find some reason we should let you join," Jun pointed out.
"Good point," Nino conceded, taking over Aiba's fanning duties. He laughed every time he purposely let the hat come close enough to thwak Aiba on the nose. Aiba looked like an overheated puppy, his tongue poking out as he tried to cool down, his eyes closed as he let Nino do whatever he pleased. It was both adorable and slightly worrying.
"Well, hurry up and get a boyfriend already. I want to be your best friend again," Nino requested, dropping the hat back on Aiba's head.
"Hmmnnnn, I don't know. I might keep Matsujun as my best friend, he helped me pick out my new favorite pair of shoes," Aiba replied jokingly.
Jun hated those shoes, in truth. They were a really unfortunate shade of yellow-green. But he'd told Aiba that he technically couldn't stop him from buying them and style was subjective, so.
"I think you might find a better term for J eventually," Nino responded with a cackle, sending Jun a knowing look.
Knowing what, that was the question. Whatever Nino thought they had a mutual understanding of, it was lost on him.
"Whatever you say, Nino-chan," Aiba said sweetly, then attempted to wink at him. At least Jun thought it was a wink. It might have been a spasm.
"You can have each other," Jun told them.
Complete weirdos.
--
"Why do you keep giggling?" Jun asked, wiping off his sunglasses with the bottom of his t-shirt.
It was an unofficial meeting of the singles group, brought about after Aiba's date had messaged him last minute to say he wouldn't be able to make it. Aiba hadn't actually purchased tickets in advance, but he'd been really looking forward to going to the zoo and hadn't wanted to go alone. That was about as much as Jun knew, but he was happy to fill in as company.
"You thought the red pandas were raccoons," Aiba brought up (for the third time already), "It was so cute!"
Jun growled and smacked him a little too hard on the arm before hurrying along the path, though Aiba's long limbs had no trouble keeping up with him.
"Hey, don't be mad," Aiba only lightly pleaded, an amused grin still spread across his face, "Where are you going in a rush?"
"To the lions. I have a very tasty gift for them today, special from Chiba."
Jun had never envisioned going to the zoo for a date before. To be honest, he didn't have the best track record with animals. He loved them and had always wanted a pet when he was a kid, but the affection never seemed to be mutual. If there was a way for a fish to leap out of its tank and somehow attack, Jun was sure it would happen to him. Battle scars of unrequited love would be everywhere.
A zoo provided an opportunity to get up close to animals without the imminent threat of scratches and bites, which was really sort of perfect. Not that Aiba knew any of this, or had meant for Jun to be the one with him today. But even if this wasn't technically a date now, it had been a date plan for someone originally, and Jun appreciated the care that Aiba had put into it all. Dinner and a movie was classic, but this was shaping up to be far more interesting.
Jun had already learned a lot about his non-date for the day, things that hadn't come up in the 3 months they'd known each other. Like that even with all that experience working around children, Aiba had a niece who never seemed all that impressed with him. After hearing that, Jun promptly decided that zoo souvenir bribery was a perfectly legitimate option for winning her favor.
"We should head back to the monkeys and try and recruit one for your future basketball team," Jun suggested as they perused the gift shop together.
He was thrilled when Aiba's whole person seemed to brighten at the idea. He was in such a good mood, he even agreed that if Aiba bought his niece a panda purse, he'd wear it for the rest of the day.
"You'd probably just make it look fashionable," Aiba whined, setting the item back.
"Did your date say why he was canceling on you?" Jun asked, suddenly frustrated with the idea that anyone would choose to miss out on this.
"Not really. He just said he had a thing," Aiba answered nonchalantly.
Jun was impressed with how he was taking it. Blowing off a first date was bad, sure, but planning a second date and then bouncing? Far more annoying somehow.
"Well, if he doesn't have a good excuse, he doesn't deserve your time," Jun stated firmly.
He pretended to be very interested in a panda keychain, embarrassed to sound so protective of his friend. Even if he was meant to be the support group, he didn't have to be so emotional about it.
He nearly jumped out of his skin as a fuzzy object came from behind him and poked him in the cheek.
Aiba was grinning as he waved the stuffed lion in his hand.
"Thanks, Matsujun."
--
"The client's requesting a dual screen setup for the grand ballroom now. We're going to need to add another projector kit to the proposal," Sho informed Jun, dropping into his swivel chair and giving it one good spin around before he pulled back close to his desk.
"I told them we can do insets in the widescreen to the same effect. It would save them money and us the storage space in the truck," Jun replied.
"Seriously, Matsujun? If you already had it covered, why'd you bother to have me step in?" Sho asked with a chuckle.
"I had a minute to check my emails even though I was out, sorry. I promise I didn't take a day off just to work from home."
He doubted Sho believed him on that, if only because it was something he'd done before. Taken a day off only to be working the entire time. It was far less frequent now than it had been. Not only that, but he was almost down to normal work week hours now! It was amazing what a little motivation in his personal life could do.
"If you didn't work from home, what did you do? If you don't mind me asking," Sho asked him, his eyes remaining on his screen.
It was easier to talk that way somehow. Whenever he had something to share that wasn't about an event, it was usually like this. Sho clicking through his inbox, Jun reviewing a set diagram as they traded stories.
"Went to the zoo with Aiba-chan. He was planning on going with someone else, but they canceled. I thought it was time for a vacation day anyway, so I told him I'd go," Jun explained, shrugging his shoulders because hey! It was totally normal.
Sho clicked his tongue and Jun cleared his throat, shifting in his seat. He didn't like when Sho made thinking noises. It wasn't a good sign.
"I wonder why he didn't invite you to go first. Haven't you been hanging out all the time lately?" Sho brought up, risking a peek over his monitor to give Jun a small smile.
Sho was right. Sort of. Jun saw a lot more of Aiba these days than anyone else, but they were hanging out with purpose.
"It was supposed to be a date, that's why," Jun clarified for him, "I mean with the other person, not with me."
Sho leaned back in his chair and began to play with his tie idly.
"That's weird," he declared, shaking his head.
"What's weird?" Jun asked defensively.
"I just assumed from how you talked about him that you two were getting serious. Like, romantic serious. You didn't say anything too specific but I figured that was just because we were at work and it wouldn't be appropriate."
Jun picked up the stress ball hiding behind his collection of paperclips and slowly began to squeeze. It wasn't a big deal. Really, it wasn't important. Sho knew about his dating preferences, there wasn't a secret there. It would be easy to make the mistake of confusing a new close friend of Jun's for his boyfriend.
After all, none of his dates had been particularly promising. Jun just had more to say about all the fun he'd been having with friends than about boring dinners and wasted evenings.
"Why Aiba though?" he accidentally asked, his thoughts escaping before he could finish filtering them all.
"You've been telling me about him for months now! How he dunks his melon pan in whatever he's drinking... when he dyed his hair right before you did karaoke for your birthday and he didn't know the words to that song by the Backstreet Boys. That time you ate at his parents' restaurant and then told me about it and I ate there the next day and got sick. Not from the food, though, which I had to promise Aiba about ten times when he found out."
Jun didn't see how any of that was romantic. It would have been far more romantic if Aiba had known all the lyrics and serenaded him or something.
"Well, sorry I gave the wrong impression. I like him more than most people, so I guess I bring him up a lot," Jun apologized.
Sho laughed and waved a hand dismissively.
"Don't worry about it. It was my mistake," he conceded, then stood up from his chair with a long stretch. "Why don't we get lunch? I'll buy."
"Okay," Jun agreed, then playfully tossed the stress ball at Sho's head. "But just so we're clear, this isn't a date either!"
--
"What kinds of things did you expect to get out of the support group?" Jun asked one night, curious about why Aiba felt he needed any help with dating at all. Aside from what seemed to be some bad luck in his choices in men, Aiba was sweet and caring, the type of person Jun could see being the perfect long-term boyfriend. If he'd wanted someone, Jun suspected he could have had them wrapped around his finger in no time.
Maybe he'd just needed tips for weeding through the bullshit of matchmaking sites. Jun hadn't been able to provide much help there. Scrolling through his messages could be an unpleasant chore, suffering through bad pickup attempts in the hopes that a diamond in the rough might appear.
Aiba was still working on his slice of pizza, leaning casually against Jun's kitchen counter. He looked so at home in Jun's guest slippers, eyes shining brighter than usual after a few cans of beer.
"I guess... the answers," Aiba spoke vaguely at first, but after a moment he tilted his head up to glance at the ceiling and hummed thoughtfully. "Why am I still single, what do I want? How do I get what I want? Yeah."
Yeah.
Jun didn't even have anything he could say to that. After all, it was right on the nose. At the end of the day, Jun could figure out for himself how to get a man's number and where to take him. What he couldn't do was work through his own mental walls. It was tiring, very tiring to look so deeply into his own heart. It's why he had things like dreamed up relationship paths and a checklist of desires. It made everything feel less complicated somehow.
"I thought maybe we could all help each other figure it out, you know? But I don't have any clue why you're single, Jun-kun. You're way too hot to be waiting around for people," Aiba expressed.
Jun lightly kicked Aiba's shin at the compliment.
"Look in the mirror!" he retorted lamely, then laughed shyly behind his own beer can.
Jun was single because he'd never had the time to be anything else. He'd been traveling to various events around the globe since his mid-twenties, working his way up the ladder of an audio visual company that specialized in events. Every single week he'd be in a new place, setting up equipment, checking on lighting and soundboards and barely catching a glimpse of the world outside the venue.
Now that he'd become more of a project manager, the traveling was much less frequent. He could work at the Tokyo office mostly, which opened up his schedule. No more lonely months living out of hotel rooms. It had been fun, for a time, but he was ready for what he had here now - pizza in his apartment with someone who didn't care if he was in his glasses and sweats.
"Have I helped you at all? I mean, is there anything I can do now?" Jun asked after a moment of comfortable quiet. He knew Aiba wouldn't mind that he'd spaced out a little there, but he didn't like being so selfishly self-reflective.
Aiba set his pizza aside and wiped his hands on his jeans.
"There's something I've been wondering about," he admitted.
"Go for it," Jun encouraged.
"Do you think that I'm a good enough kisser?" Aiba asked, lifting his hair up where it sat at the back of his neck.
"How do you expect me to know if you're a good kisser or not? I can't be in your mouth," Jun pointed out.
Something about the sentence didn't make much sense, but he wasn't going to worry about it. For the first time in a long time, he truly wasn't worried about anything.
"Well you could be, sort of, if you were kissing me," Aiba countered.
Jun could sense a very, very bad idea brewing in that comment. He dared to step forward a little, studying his friend in concern. Concern and maybe a bit of intrigue, because Aiba's lips were glistening and his cheeks were flushed and he looked so attractive with his hair so softly falling in place when he let it go.
There was no real harm in making out for fun, right?
"I'm going to give honest feedback, so if you end up crying, I'm not going to feel bad about it," Jun warned. His heart was beating way too fast for something so ridiculous.
"Okay," Aiba agreed, and before Jun could make a move of his own, surged forward to grab Jun's shoulders and pull him into a passionate kiss.
It made his entire body tingle, from head to toe, a wave of pure positive energy and warmth. He could have guessed that Aiba would kiss like he did everything else, with the full power of the sun on his side.
Jun risked pressing their bodies close together, trapping Aiba tightly between himself and the counter as their tongues began to meet.
"Wait, oh no... oh shit," Aiba lightly pushed Jun's shoulders back, stepping away from the counter and ending their kiss abruptly.
Jun stared in confusion as Aiba shoved his hand in his own back pocket, wondering if he'd crossed a line unknowingly at Aiba's encouragement. But his friend's hand returned with car keys gripped tightly.
"I forgot I drove my car to go out earlier! I left it parked in a garage for hours, it's gonna cost me a fortune," Aiba explained in a panic.
"Can you get it out at this time of night? It might not make much difference if you get it now or in the morning," Jun said, exhaling slowly in relief.
He'd have been devastated if he'd messed things up between them. His ego was a little bruised that Aiba would be thinking about something else when they were kissing, but aside from that small wound, Jun figured they'd recover from this.
"I guess," Aiba answered with a heavy sigh, then a laugh at his own hopeless nature.
"Don't spend more money getting home, you can stay on my couch," Jun offered without hesitation.
Aiba planted another kiss on his lips, short and sweet. Maybe as a thank you, maybe as an apology, but either way Jun was soothed by the gesture.
"I don't think it's your kissing. I have no complaints," Jun told him with a shrug, opening the pizza box in search of another slice.
"But you might want to work on not killing the mood."
--
"So, what was he like? Did he tick all the boxes on the list?" Aiba asked him right away, before he'd even managed to get his coat off and sit down.
In a way, he was more excited for this group meeting than some of the others. It was rare that he have such good news.
"He did," Jun confirmed, letting his fingers dance across his menu.
Aiba looked startled for a moment, but only briefly. He quickly smiled and lifted his hands to give Jun some quiet applause.
"We've already made plans to go out again, but he's sort of... I guess the only thing is that we don't have much in common," Jun explained with a shrug of his shoulders.
He had never really put matching hobbies or interests on his list before, so Jun figured it must not have been very important to him anyway. They could find things to talk about eventually. It had been a quiet date, a little awkward, but Jun was willing to overlook it. It wasn't often he got the whole package.
Maybe part of the date's problem was his own intimidation. Yeah. He hadn't been bored, he'd been in shock.
"He sounds nice," Aiba offered with a soft smile.
"I haven't even said anything about him yet," Jun pointed out with a laugh, "You're right, he is nice though. I might need your help through this, Aiba-chan, you know I can come across cold sometimes."
"No," Aiba disagreed, picking up his menu and disappearing behind it. "You're really great and he sees it already. So don't even worry about it."
Jun was thankful for the compliment, of course, but he couldn't help but wonder if he'd done something wrong. He knew Aiba well enough by now to understand when there was something amiss, and there was definitely something odd about his tone today.
"Hey, is anything going on? I didn't mean to take over the conversation," Jun apologized, reaching forward to tap on the menu in front of Aiba's face. When it lowered and revealed Aiba smiling in that strained way, Jun's heart clenched in anxiety.
"It's fine, I promise. It's not you, I'm just really tired. Oh-chan and I stayed up all night in the apartment going over the New Year's special a thousand times," he said, then relaxed a little and began to smile more naturally. "It's filmed in November, you know!"
Jun relaxed too, but lifted Aiba's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze before leaning back to his own side of the table.
"Let's order extra food, then. You can bring it back to him. Make sure he eats."
Aiba nodded happily in agreement, then sent Jun a look he couldn't quite read.
"See," he said, "You're nice, Matsujun."
Jun shook his head, but Aiba wasn't finished.
"He's a very lucky guy."
--
There was something romantic and classic about deciding to go out with someone on the 24th of December. Jun loved the idea of being wrapped up in warm coats and scarves and holding hands, maybe exchanging gifts if things were serious enough. He couldn't say it was something he'd done too often in life, but each time he'd been dating someone around the holidays it had been nice to share some cake and drink champagne.
But now there was Aiba.
When Jun first learned that Aiba's birthday was on Christmas Eve, he'd not really thought much of it beyond the obvious. Although they'd had a conversation about how his parents had helped him celebrate when he was younger, there hadn't really been any discussion of how Aiba planned to mark the occasion this year. Without any specific plans in the making, no party he'd been invited to that he'd be missing, Jun had assumed that it was fine to accept a date for that evening.
"I'm happy for you," Aiba said on the other end of the phone, "Perfect timing, too! You can come over when it's done and tell me all about it. Oh-chan's gone to his parents for the week and I've got too much food for just me."
Jun laughed as he tried to picture what odd recipes Aiba might throw together from the contents of his refrigerator. Tempting, but not tempting enough to sway him.
"It sounds nice, but maybe we can do it another time? It's already the third date with Takkun, so I'm feeling a little more optimistic about being busy 'til morning," Jun stated with a giddy laugh.
"It's not a third date requirement to spend the night."
Jun could hear Aiba laughing too after his response, but there had been something unusually sharp in his tone as he said it. Maybe it just seemed abrupt because he couldn't see his friend's facial expressions. Jun frowned at the unease of it, but continued on anyway.
"No, but it would be a bonus. I don't know about you, but it's been awhile for me," Jun spoke, leaving the crowded crossing he'd been walking through and heading to a side street quickly. He knew that no one else would understand the context of the conversation from his one-sided responses, but it still felt private. Maybe he should have mentioned the date to Aiba earlier when they were hanging out alone.
"Are you sure about him?" Aiba asked.
"Sure about him? What do you mean?" Jun replied, hoping for clarification. Sure about him as a potential lover? Sure about wanting to have sex with him? There were different checklists for different stages of a relationship, and to be honest he wasn't sure about anything.
Except that Takkun had a great ass, a nice smile, and an interest in the same TV shows and movies. They were getting to know each other. There was a lot left to investigate.
"Does he make you feel that special something? You know... like if you're with him, you can do anything and it'll be fun. Or if he asked you for help, you'd run with all your strength to be there for him?" Aiba elaborated.
"I told you, it's only the third date. Isn't it unfair to try and judge that already?" Jun asked in response.
He knew he sounded defensive, and there was no reason to be so on edge, but Aiba sounded so serious with his line of questioning. Like he was disappointed in Jun for even thinking about sleeping with Takkun tonight. It made heat rise in Jun's neck and face quickly, his discomfort growing as silence stretched between them. He hated that feeling more than anything. That feeling like he'd lost favor in the eyes of someone important.
Support group or no, it wasn't really Aiba's business to dig this deep into his personal choices. Jun hardened his resolve and nearly hung up on his friend, until he heard a heavy sigh across the line.
"What about after six months? Do you think you would know by then?"
"Know what?" Jun asked in exasperation. "Know if he was special? Sure. Yeah. If I had six months, yeah, I'd have an idea by then. But I'm not going to wait that long to have sex with somebody. I'm sorry if that bothers you."
"I get it," Aiba spoke, his voice sounding tight to Jun's ears. "I get it, I just needed to hear you say it."
"What? Aiba-chan, you're being-" Jun tried to understand what the hell his friend was talking about, but the sound of the dial tone interrupting him felt as harsh as a blow to the gut.
Jun angrily shoved his cellphone into the pocket of his jeans and kicked the nearest wall, regretting the decision instantly. Rather than risk stares by limping to the train station, he hobbled a few feet ahead of him to lean against a vending machine and waited for the throbbing to pass.
"There's nothing wrong with having sex tonight," he told himself, curling his fingers tightly into a fist and relaxing them again.
He wouldn't let this stop him. Not when he'd been looking forward to this date all week.
"There's nothing wrong with having sex tonight," he repeated to himself, louder and more determined - and hoped that deep down somewhere he truly believed it.
--
Jun still felt a little guilty as he stood in front of the apartment's door, flowers in one hand as he rang the buzzer with the other.
He knew he was doing the right thing by coming here, but hurting anyone's feelings in the pursuit of his own happiness seemed wrong. If he'd been smart about all of this from the beginning, he might not have been so nervous right now.
But that's why he'd joined the singles club, right? He wasn't perfect, so he could only do his best to make amends.
He took a deep breath as the door opened, and promptly lost all air at the sight of Aiba Masaki, looking like a dream in flannel pajama bottoms and a white cotton shirt.
"Don't shut the door on me! Please," Jun begged, thrusting the flowers forward and bowing his head.
"Matsujun?" Aiba questioned, "What... what are you doing here? What about your date?"
Jun cleared his throat and stood up straight again, embarrassed by the fact that Aiba was just staring at the flowers instead of taking them. He wished he had any ounce of the coolness Aiba claimed he had right now, instead of feeling like he was floundering on the edge of rejection.
"I canceled it. I'm not going on any more dates with him. But I'm not here for the support group, I'm here because I need to tell you something."
Aiba clearly looked surprised, opening the door further and inviting Jun inside, but Jun was a little frozen right now.
"I'd been thinking about you. Thinking about you a lot, actually, after we talked on the phone earlier. I was really upset thinking that you were upset, and more than anything I wanted to apologize and make sure you were happy. I wanted to be here with you. I didn't care about anybody else."
Jun couldn't explain why it had taken him so long to figure this out, but once it had hit him, he was absolutely certain.
"I realized how stupid it is to get all these ideas in your head about how everything's supposed to work. That's what's been making me strike out every time. If the guy doesn't fit some imaginary profile I made up from nothing, then he isn't the right person for me, but why?"
Aiba seemed to be thinking about it, but nothing came out of his mouth. Good! Good, to be honest, because Jun knew now that there wasn't any explanation for that method of dating. He'd been wrong this whole time and he wasn't afraid to admit it, especially if letting go of his misconceptions brought real, true affection into his life.
"I don't want to choose by criteria anymore, I want to choose by feeling," Jun continued, wiping his sweaty palms against his sweater.
"I love you, Aiba Masaki. And I'm really sorry I ruined your birthday."
It was quiet, too quiet, Jun's worst nightmare if he was being honest. And still he couldn't regret the words that he'd said. While his fear whispered at him to run, he didn't budge from Aiba's doorstep, waiting patiently for his fate.
Aiba finally pulled the bouquet from Jun's hands, lifting it to his nose and inhaling slowly. Jun frowned as he noticed the tears gathering at Aiba's eyes.
"It's still my birthday," Aiba said, and to Jun's relief, began to laugh. "It's not ruined at all. It's the best birthday of all time."
Jun didn't want to make any assumptions, but that sounded like what he'd been hoping to hear. He shifted from foot to foot, waiting for a final signal. He got it when Aiba put his arms around him and began tugging him into the apartment.
"I love you, Jun, I love you. You have no idea!"
Jun could feel his own tears forming, but he wasn't about to start crying. He had to find a more suitable outlet for his overwhelming happiness.
"How about trying that kissing thing again," Jun suggested, running his hand down Aiba's torso. "Want to see how long we can keep the mood this time?"
Aiba was immediately on board with that idea, trailing kisses all over Jun's neck and jaw as they stumbled through the genkan.
"Yeah, and hey Jun?" Aiba spoke against his chin, "I'm disbanding the singles group to start a relationship, if that's okay with you."
Jun laughed until he was silenced by meeting Aiba's lips.
Yeah. He was okay with that.
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 8,356
Pairing: Junba
Warnings: Fluff alert!
Summary: Jun hesitantly joins Aiba's singles support group, and is rewarded beyond expectation.
Notes: Originally written for and posted at aibaexchange, which was incredibly fun and I hope everyone comes back to do again next year!
Also at ao3
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR NIIINOOOOOO
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
Jun clapped enthusiastically as the song ended with Nino having a slice of cake smashed into his face. Nino was usually the one instigating something like that. It was about time he had a taste of his own medicine.
"That's what he gets for being cheap and not buying candles," Jun joked, thinking that Sho was still beside him.
"I was supposed to buy them, actually, but I completely forgot what I was in charge of and ended up bringing beer instead."
Jun was surprised by the unfamiliar voice that answered him, turning quickly to see who'd been speaking. He smiled as his gaze was met by warm brown eyes.
"That's great," he responded with a chuckle, "No candles ended up being way more entertaining."
"I'm Aiba Masaki," the man greeted, sticking out his hand. Jun didn't hesitate to take it, happy to share a handshake with an accidental genius.
"Matsumoto Jun," he introduced himself, "I work with Nino sometimes."
"I'm Aiba Masaki," Aiba said again, making Jun laugh. He seemed to realize his mistake, but kept smiling as he added, "I'm Nino's friend."
"Aiba Masaki, was it? I'm Matsumoto Jun," Jun teased him, squeezing Aiba's hand and continuing to shake.
"Oh, nice to meet you Matsumoto-san! My name's Aiba, Aiba Masaki."
Jun finally let go of his hand, wondering if he was right in thinking Aiba was the name of Nino's childhood friend. He'd definitely been mentioned before, a key player in many Nino stories. Jun was curious enough about this friend of a friend that he was prepared to take on some small talk to get to know him better, but Sho chose that moment to make his reappearance between them.
"Hey, sent you an email. There's some kind of miscommunication with the hotel at the Yamamoto event. They need your input," his friend explained, "And I need some of that cake!"
Jun watched him push his way through some partygoers to try and get at the dessert table, shaking his head fondly. He gave Aiba an apologetic smile, but knew this was one instance where work couldn't quite wait.
"Don't let me keep you," Aiba said, holding up his hands to show it was no problem. "It was nice to meet you, uh...?"
"Cute," Jun responded, nudging Aiba with his shoulder before he left.
--
Jun glanced down once more at the name and address of the bar in his messages, then at the sign above the door. He wouldn't typically be out for drinks in the middle of the week, but tonight was a special exception.
Aiba Masaki had come up with an idea for a group, a bi-weekly gathering for single men trying their best to navigate the choppy waters of Tokyo's dating scene. Nino wasn't single, but he knew Jun was, and had suggested he swing by a group meeting to see what the hype was all about now that he and Aiba had met (and by the transitive property of Nino were now also good friends).
The hype turned out to be no more than Nino's word that the group existed, though. When Jun scanned the bar for signs of it, his eyes landed on Aiba - completely alone at a table for two.
"Either you were the only one who wanted to come, or you were the only person he asked," Aiba informed him with a sheepish grin.
It wouldn't be all that surprising to find out either option was true. Nino wasn't the type to put in more effort than he had to for anything, and a singles group for men wasn't really... well, it was the first time Jun had heard of one that was meant to be a support group. There were plenty of options for goukons and hookups, but this was something unique.
Or at least it was supposed to be. Now that he found himself the only member aside from the group's creator, he was wondering if he hadn't lost his mind entirely. It would probably be for the best to wish Aiba luck with his next meeting and head home before the deep embarrassment had a chance to set in.
"Look, I know you're thinking about leaving and I don't blame you, but at least stay for a free drink?" Aiba suggested hopefully, pulling out his wallet. He set it on the table between them and gave it a gentle pat as he smiled brightly. "One drink for one date story. We'll just see how it goes."
Jun's eyes darted between the wallet and Aiba's expression, his hand twitching on his thigh. He wasn't Nino. He didn't need something for free in order to hang out with someone. In fact, he'd happily purchase his own drinks - several, to make this whole thing less awkward. The look on Aiba's face, however, was one that resonated with him. How many times had he either chickened out on asking for advice, or been brushed off when in need of a friendly ear?
He sighed deeply, but nodded at the man across the table.
"Sounds fair. But who's telling the story, me or you?" he asked.
"Uuuuhhh... I'll go first!" Aiba volunteered, his hand shooting high into the air. Jun laughed softly at his eagerness, but gestured for Aiba to take the lead.
"One of the reasons I wanted to start this group in the first place was because I had a date with this sweet guy, pretty good looking, but kind of... older," Aiba began.
Jun raised an eyebrow, but so far it didn't seem too strange. Everyone had their own age range they felt comfortable with, and if Aiba was okay with an older man, Jun was okay with hearing about it. More than anything he was curious about the fact that Aiba dated men in general. He hadn't been expecting that they'd share that in common, but it definitely made him feel more at ease about opening up.
"We met up and got to talking and it was really obvious that he wasn't looking for a date, but more like... a good time, you know? I knew I'd have to make a choice about what I was willing to do and all, but then he starts talking about his wife and how she's okay with it but only if she can be in the room too."
Jun's jaw dropped slightly as he processed that information, but Aiba's nervous expression made him burst into loud peals of laughter. He'd been asked to do a lot of things in his time, but that was something that had never come up. He had to wonder if it had, if he'd look as traumatized as Aiba did even in retelling the moment.
What had he gotten himself into with this? He was grateful to to the servers for bringing his beer, taking a big gulp as Aiba turned the attention back to him.
"What's the weirdest date you've been on recently?" Aiba asked.
"Is this a date? Does this one count?" Jun asked teasingly, but then put his hand to his chin as he thought it over properly. "Maybe the time this guy took me to the movies, but kept looking away from the screen and at my feet instead."
He'd always been a little uncertain about wearing sandals after that.
More drinks naturally encouraged more conversation about relationships, and before long Jun had to admit that he was incredibly relaxed in Aiba's company. It felt good to say whatever came to mind, not to hold back when asked about his earliest crushes or where he'd kept his dirty magazines. As they started getting nostalgic about the early days of dating, Jun tried to describe what his type had been in high school.
"I've never had a type exactly. Maybe I do now, but I didn't when I was younger. Back then, when I liked someone, it just happened, you know? I think maybe I was always more interested in how to make things exciting if we dated, rather than paying as much attention to the person," Jun explained, immediately thinking he'd said too much. It was too real.
But then, if he didn't take this thing seriously, he'd never get meaningful advice.
"I just kept falling in love with basketball players," Aiba offered up with a loud laugh.
"Basketball? Huh," Jun replied. He'd not have guessed that.
"Yeah. I had a one track mind there for awhile. I wanted to be a basketball star and date a basketball star and own a pet monkey and teach him to play basketball too," Aiba told him.
"Is that still what you want?" Jun asked, curious about what might have changed over the years. Maybe Aiba was obsessed with a new sport now. Maybe he had a pet rabbit that could golf.
"I think I just want to be happy," Aiba stated simply.
Happy. Yeah. Jun couldn't disagree with wanting to be happy. In fact, he'd say that being happy was his biggest non-negotiable too. Although...
"I feel bad now. I had a whole checklist," Jun revealed to him, laughing into his glass of beer. If it all it took was happiness, maybe he didn't need to date at all! He was happy enough as he was right now, drinking beer and cracking jokes with Nino's childhood friend.
"You can't say that and not tell me what's on it," Aiba protested, prodding Jun's feet with his own beneath the table.
Well. Fine. He'd been telling Aiba everything else, he might as well get this out of the way. Jun knocked back the rest of his beer and sat up straighter, ready to dive in.
"It's not a long list, but it's still important. Number one, I want someone tall-ish with some muscle on him, pref-"
"EH!" Aiba cut in before Jun could finish, eyes widening in amusement. "It's about the looks? Wow, Matsujun, wow wow woooow."
"Shut up," Jun warned with a roll of his eyes, laughing softly in spite of himself. "It's not only about looks, but looks are there. It's my list, I make the rules! So, tall with some muscles, but most importantly a great ass. And then stuff like, uh, steady job and isn't too arrogant. Boring details like that."
"So you're a butt man."
"I'm a butt man," Jun confirmed. He wasn't ashamed! In disbelief that he'd shared that information tonight, maybe, but not ashamed. "What about you?"
Aiba seemed to think about it for a moment, then answered, "I like dick I guess."
Jun choked on air at the bluntness of Aiba's comment, doubling over with hysterical laughter before he could process what he'd just heard. It wasn't even all that weird for Aiba to say, given the context of the conversation, but Jun was absolutely certain no one had ever said that to him before.
"That's enough," Jun decided, shaking his head but continuing to laugh. "That's enough support for this meeting, Aiba-chan, oh my god."
Aiba looked a little red in the face, but not so much like he regretted saying it. Good then. Neither of them were ashamed. It felt to Jun as if a special connection had been made tonight - a trust earned in the strangest of circumstances.
"A support group with only two people sounds like the saddest thing in the world, but you know what?" Jun added, taking one more second to think it over before making his mind up.
Why not?
"You've convinced me, Aiba-chan. Count me in!"
--
Aiba was lucky that he was so impossibly charming. There were very few things that could get Jun out of the house before noon on a day off, meeting up with close friends included. But since it had already been a month since he first joined, Jun felt obligated to the singles support group now. When a member of the group was in need you had to be there for him.
Aiba was still the only other member, but the sentiment remained valid in Jun's opinion.
He'd gotten a message late the night before that Aiba's date had gone terribly, and in a drunken lapse of judgment had agreed to go to breakfast. He could have done the responsible thing then and headed home, instead of calling his friend Toma and drinking for three more hours, but what was done was done.
Jun wasn't feeling particularly human this early, gripping his iced coffee tight in hand, but at least he was present. It also helped that as he waited at their decided rendezvous point, he got to bombard Aiba's phone with increasingly grumpy LINE stickers. By the time he'd run out of proper representations for his mood and was just using every single emoji available, he actually wasn't all that annoyed anymore. He even managed to smile as Aiba popped up in his line of vision, waving his arms above his head.
"Hi Matsujun," Aiba greeted.
"Hello, Aiba-chan."
"So."
"So?"
"So it was my fault," Aiba started to explain, shaking his head sadly. "He said his body type was athletic and he liked being outdoors! I suggested we go on an outdoor date and he thought that meant I'd planned something."
It took a lot of restraint not to tell Aiba that of course he was meant to have planned something. Jun simply nodded in acknowledgement, letting Aiba continue.
"I'm usually good at being spontaneous, but my mind went totally blank after we met at the station. He just followed me around shopping for two hours before he made up an excuse to leave."
"You idiot," Jun mumbled in amusement. He landed a smack to the back of Aiba's head, and was only a little sorry he'd not bothered to take his rings off first.
On the one hand, what Aiba had described sounded truly terrible. Meeting up with someone only to find out that they hadn't given the date any thought and there was nothing to actually do. On the other hand, he and Aiba had met up quite a few times already without much of a schedule involved, and it always seemed to turn out well for them.
Jun had always liked shopping, though.
"I'm pretty sure outdoor dates would be things like hiking, picnics, maybe going to the moun-"
"I know," Aiba interrupted, "I know. But I've been distracted lately and the time flew by before I knew it. It was a big fail."
Jun reached out to give his friend a small, sympathetic pat on the back. Whether it was his own fault or not, having a date go wrong was never fun, especially if you thought you might really like the guy.
"Well, you wanted to meet up and talk about it, so... why don't we come up with the ideal outdoor date? Then you'll have one ready to go the next time you meet someone outdoorsy," Jun suggested.
Aiba agreed quickly, holding the door open for Jun as they entered Aiba's chosen breakfast place.
"That would be perfect."
Coming up with an outdoor date soon turned into a full on brainstorming session over far-too-rich waffles with fruit piled high on top. Each and every slice of banana or strawberry that left Aiba's plate managed to draw Jun's attention to Aiba's mouth. He'd never seen someone who ate the way that Aiba did, tongue coming out first to cheerfully scoop up his target. It made it a little difficult to keep his mind on the task at hand.
Aiba, however, gave full focus to every idea Jun tossed his way. He leaned forward attentively, and nodded in places, making Jun feel like he was heard easily above the chatter of a full cafe.
"So we have the beach, surfing, a barbecue, and stargazing," Aiba listed the results of their hard work.
"Sounds like a full day to me. So I guess the next step is to figure out what it costs and how you can reasonably pull it off. But once you know how you'll do it, it's there. You have it waiting in your back pocket," Jun concluded, and pushed his plate away before he could consume any more sugar.
"What about your ideal outdoor date?" Aiba asked. He paused a moment to request a check, then turned to look at Jun once more. "What would you want to do?"
"Oh, I'd have exactly the same date," Jun admitted, but a smirk played at his lips. "Well, not exactly the same. I'd make sure I ended up surfing the biggest wave, that's in the rules for mine."
"Then it is exactly the same," Aiba argued, "because I'm not going easy on anybody."
"You can't. You have to impress the guy," Jun agreed emphatically.
"And then you have to come out of the ocean slowly and run your hand through your hair while he's watching," Aiba added on before they both began to laugh.
Jun didn't mind if what he was about to say was too flirty, it was merely the facts. He doubted even the unhappy shopper would be able to resist Aiba Masaki in a wetsuit. Sunkissed. Catching his breath after catching a wave.
"Trust me, Aiba-chan, that's the way to go. It's a total home run."
--
"GRAND SLAAAAAAAM," Aiba announced as he slid into home.
"It's not a grand slam, you idiot, there was no one else running!" Nino shouted from the pitcher's mound.
With only four players for the day, the best they could arrange was a pitcher, someone at bat, an umpire that doubled as a baseman when needed, and someone out in the field. It was about the most ineffective way to play baseball that Jun had ever seen, but it was making for an amusing afternoon - and getting to play in some capacity was better than nothing. He'd barely touched a glove since middle school!
Jun stepped out from behind home plate as Aiba was standing up, offering him a hand. Once his friend was back on his feet, Jun dropped his forehead and wiped his sweat against Aiba's sleeve. No use. They were all melting beneath the hot August sun.
Still, he smiled as he both heard and felt Aiba's joyful chuckle.
"I wish I'd had time to play with you guys before now. I would have liked to get the official uniform," Jun told him as he lifted his head, avoiding the glare of the sun by keeping his eyes on Aiba's chest.
The uniform was just some black stripes with a vaguely athletic font reading LIZARDS across the front of the jerseys in green, but that was more than most play-for-fun teams would bother to put together. Nino had talked about owning one before, but Jun had never seen him in it. Even today his friend had opted for his own old t-shirt and shorts.
"Why the lizards?" he asked, signaling to Nino that he needed a break and heading to the bench to grab some water.
"Oh-chan had a lizard for awhile. He used to let us borrow him as a mascot, but then his mom became attached to the little guy," Aiba explained, waiting for Jun to finish his sip of water before taking the bottle and stealing a sip for himself.
"Who's Oh-chan? Another teammate?"
Jun had only met Darvish today, a player that Nino and Aiba had introduced by saying 'Don't worry about him. It's just Darvish.' There were apparently other people involved in all this, enough to have a team in the first place, but coordinating schedules didn't seem to be anyone's strong suit. It was so wonderfully representative of Aiba and Nino and their approach to hobbies that Jun didn't see any reason to call them on it. Besides, the informal nature of it all had made it possible for him to crash their practice.
"Nah, he's not really a baseball person. Oh-chan's the man that makes it all happen at the morning show," Aiba informed him, taking off his cap and doing his best to fan them both with it.
"I thought you were the one who made it all happen," Jun said.
"I come up with the ideas, yeah, but Ohno makes the props and paints the scenery. Kids have great imaginations and they want to make-believe with you, but the really young ones draw the line at green screens. They just don't get it. If I didn't have Oh-chan, I don't think the kids would be as excited to play the games and stuff."
"Play games?" Nino jumped into the conversation as he joined them at the bench. It was eerie how even the idea of gaming seemed to summon Nino instantly.
"Is that what you two talk about at those single meetings? I had a feeling that was all a cover for kinky stuff."
"You know if that were true, you'd find some reason we should let you join," Jun pointed out.
"Good point," Nino conceded, taking over Aiba's fanning duties. He laughed every time he purposely let the hat come close enough to thwak Aiba on the nose. Aiba looked like an overheated puppy, his tongue poking out as he tried to cool down, his eyes closed as he let Nino do whatever he pleased. It was both adorable and slightly worrying.
"Well, hurry up and get a boyfriend already. I want to be your best friend again," Nino requested, dropping the hat back on Aiba's head.
"Hmmnnnn, I don't know. I might keep Matsujun as my best friend, he helped me pick out my new favorite pair of shoes," Aiba replied jokingly.
Jun hated those shoes, in truth. They were a really unfortunate shade of yellow-green. But he'd told Aiba that he technically couldn't stop him from buying them and style was subjective, so.
"I think you might find a better term for J eventually," Nino responded with a cackle, sending Jun a knowing look.
Knowing what, that was the question. Whatever Nino thought they had a mutual understanding of, it was lost on him.
"Whatever you say, Nino-chan," Aiba said sweetly, then attempted to wink at him. At least Jun thought it was a wink. It might have been a spasm.
"You can have each other," Jun told them.
Complete weirdos.
--
"Why do you keep giggling?" Jun asked, wiping off his sunglasses with the bottom of his t-shirt.
It was an unofficial meeting of the singles group, brought about after Aiba's date had messaged him last minute to say he wouldn't be able to make it. Aiba hadn't actually purchased tickets in advance, but he'd been really looking forward to going to the zoo and hadn't wanted to go alone. That was about as much as Jun knew, but he was happy to fill in as company.
"You thought the red pandas were raccoons," Aiba brought up (for the third time already), "It was so cute!"
Jun growled and smacked him a little too hard on the arm before hurrying along the path, though Aiba's long limbs had no trouble keeping up with him.
"Hey, don't be mad," Aiba only lightly pleaded, an amused grin still spread across his face, "Where are you going in a rush?"
"To the lions. I have a very tasty gift for them today, special from Chiba."
Jun had never envisioned going to the zoo for a date before. To be honest, he didn't have the best track record with animals. He loved them and had always wanted a pet when he was a kid, but the affection never seemed to be mutual. If there was a way for a fish to leap out of its tank and somehow attack, Jun was sure it would happen to him. Battle scars of unrequited love would be everywhere.
A zoo provided an opportunity to get up close to animals without the imminent threat of scratches and bites, which was really sort of perfect. Not that Aiba knew any of this, or had meant for Jun to be the one with him today. But even if this wasn't technically a date now, it had been a date plan for someone originally, and Jun appreciated the care that Aiba had put into it all. Dinner and a movie was classic, but this was shaping up to be far more interesting.
Jun had already learned a lot about his non-date for the day, things that hadn't come up in the 3 months they'd known each other. Like that even with all that experience working around children, Aiba had a niece who never seemed all that impressed with him. After hearing that, Jun promptly decided that zoo souvenir bribery was a perfectly legitimate option for winning her favor.
"We should head back to the monkeys and try and recruit one for your future basketball team," Jun suggested as they perused the gift shop together.
He was thrilled when Aiba's whole person seemed to brighten at the idea. He was in such a good mood, he even agreed that if Aiba bought his niece a panda purse, he'd wear it for the rest of the day.
"You'd probably just make it look fashionable," Aiba whined, setting the item back.
"Did your date say why he was canceling on you?" Jun asked, suddenly frustrated with the idea that anyone would choose to miss out on this.
"Not really. He just said he had a thing," Aiba answered nonchalantly.
Jun was impressed with how he was taking it. Blowing off a first date was bad, sure, but planning a second date and then bouncing? Far more annoying somehow.
"Well, if he doesn't have a good excuse, he doesn't deserve your time," Jun stated firmly.
He pretended to be very interested in a panda keychain, embarrassed to sound so protective of his friend. Even if he was meant to be the support group, he didn't have to be so emotional about it.
He nearly jumped out of his skin as a fuzzy object came from behind him and poked him in the cheek.
Aiba was grinning as he waved the stuffed lion in his hand.
"Thanks, Matsujun."
--
"The client's requesting a dual screen setup for the grand ballroom now. We're going to need to add another projector kit to the proposal," Sho informed Jun, dropping into his swivel chair and giving it one good spin around before he pulled back close to his desk.
"I told them we can do insets in the widescreen to the same effect. It would save them money and us the storage space in the truck," Jun replied.
"Seriously, Matsujun? If you already had it covered, why'd you bother to have me step in?" Sho asked with a chuckle.
"I had a minute to check my emails even though I was out, sorry. I promise I didn't take a day off just to work from home."
He doubted Sho believed him on that, if only because it was something he'd done before. Taken a day off only to be working the entire time. It was far less frequent now than it had been. Not only that, but he was almost down to normal work week hours now! It was amazing what a little motivation in his personal life could do.
"If you didn't work from home, what did you do? If you don't mind me asking," Sho asked him, his eyes remaining on his screen.
It was easier to talk that way somehow. Whenever he had something to share that wasn't about an event, it was usually like this. Sho clicking through his inbox, Jun reviewing a set diagram as they traded stories.
"Went to the zoo with Aiba-chan. He was planning on going with someone else, but they canceled. I thought it was time for a vacation day anyway, so I told him I'd go," Jun explained, shrugging his shoulders because hey! It was totally normal.
Sho clicked his tongue and Jun cleared his throat, shifting in his seat. He didn't like when Sho made thinking noises. It wasn't a good sign.
"I wonder why he didn't invite you to go first. Haven't you been hanging out all the time lately?" Sho brought up, risking a peek over his monitor to give Jun a small smile.
Sho was right. Sort of. Jun saw a lot more of Aiba these days than anyone else, but they were hanging out with purpose.
"It was supposed to be a date, that's why," Jun clarified for him, "I mean with the other person, not with me."
Sho leaned back in his chair and began to play with his tie idly.
"That's weird," he declared, shaking his head.
"What's weird?" Jun asked defensively.
"I just assumed from how you talked about him that you two were getting serious. Like, romantic serious. You didn't say anything too specific but I figured that was just because we were at work and it wouldn't be appropriate."
Jun picked up the stress ball hiding behind his collection of paperclips and slowly began to squeeze. It wasn't a big deal. Really, it wasn't important. Sho knew about his dating preferences, there wasn't a secret there. It would be easy to make the mistake of confusing a new close friend of Jun's for his boyfriend.
After all, none of his dates had been particularly promising. Jun just had more to say about all the fun he'd been having with friends than about boring dinners and wasted evenings.
"Why Aiba though?" he accidentally asked, his thoughts escaping before he could finish filtering them all.
"You've been telling me about him for months now! How he dunks his melon pan in whatever he's drinking... when he dyed his hair right before you did karaoke for your birthday and he didn't know the words to that song by the Backstreet Boys. That time you ate at his parents' restaurant and then told me about it and I ate there the next day and got sick. Not from the food, though, which I had to promise Aiba about ten times when he found out."
Jun didn't see how any of that was romantic. It would have been far more romantic if Aiba had known all the lyrics and serenaded him or something.
"Well, sorry I gave the wrong impression. I like him more than most people, so I guess I bring him up a lot," Jun apologized.
Sho laughed and waved a hand dismissively.
"Don't worry about it. It was my mistake," he conceded, then stood up from his chair with a long stretch. "Why don't we get lunch? I'll buy."
"Okay," Jun agreed, then playfully tossed the stress ball at Sho's head. "But just so we're clear, this isn't a date either!"
--
"What kinds of things did you expect to get out of the support group?" Jun asked one night, curious about why Aiba felt he needed any help with dating at all. Aside from what seemed to be some bad luck in his choices in men, Aiba was sweet and caring, the type of person Jun could see being the perfect long-term boyfriend. If he'd wanted someone, Jun suspected he could have had them wrapped around his finger in no time.
Maybe he'd just needed tips for weeding through the bullshit of matchmaking sites. Jun hadn't been able to provide much help there. Scrolling through his messages could be an unpleasant chore, suffering through bad pickup attempts in the hopes that a diamond in the rough might appear.
Aiba was still working on his slice of pizza, leaning casually against Jun's kitchen counter. He looked so at home in Jun's guest slippers, eyes shining brighter than usual after a few cans of beer.
"I guess... the answers," Aiba spoke vaguely at first, but after a moment he tilted his head up to glance at the ceiling and hummed thoughtfully. "Why am I still single, what do I want? How do I get what I want? Yeah."
Yeah.
Jun didn't even have anything he could say to that. After all, it was right on the nose. At the end of the day, Jun could figure out for himself how to get a man's number and where to take him. What he couldn't do was work through his own mental walls. It was tiring, very tiring to look so deeply into his own heart. It's why he had things like dreamed up relationship paths and a checklist of desires. It made everything feel less complicated somehow.
"I thought maybe we could all help each other figure it out, you know? But I don't have any clue why you're single, Jun-kun. You're way too hot to be waiting around for people," Aiba expressed.
Jun lightly kicked Aiba's shin at the compliment.
"Look in the mirror!" he retorted lamely, then laughed shyly behind his own beer can.
Jun was single because he'd never had the time to be anything else. He'd been traveling to various events around the globe since his mid-twenties, working his way up the ladder of an audio visual company that specialized in events. Every single week he'd be in a new place, setting up equipment, checking on lighting and soundboards and barely catching a glimpse of the world outside the venue.
Now that he'd become more of a project manager, the traveling was much less frequent. He could work at the Tokyo office mostly, which opened up his schedule. No more lonely months living out of hotel rooms. It had been fun, for a time, but he was ready for what he had here now - pizza in his apartment with someone who didn't care if he was in his glasses and sweats.
"Have I helped you at all? I mean, is there anything I can do now?" Jun asked after a moment of comfortable quiet. He knew Aiba wouldn't mind that he'd spaced out a little there, but he didn't like being so selfishly self-reflective.
Aiba set his pizza aside and wiped his hands on his jeans.
"There's something I've been wondering about," he admitted.
"Go for it," Jun encouraged.
"Do you think that I'm a good enough kisser?" Aiba asked, lifting his hair up where it sat at the back of his neck.
"How do you expect me to know if you're a good kisser or not? I can't be in your mouth," Jun pointed out.
Something about the sentence didn't make much sense, but he wasn't going to worry about it. For the first time in a long time, he truly wasn't worried about anything.
"Well you could be, sort of, if you were kissing me," Aiba countered.
Jun could sense a very, very bad idea brewing in that comment. He dared to step forward a little, studying his friend in concern. Concern and maybe a bit of intrigue, because Aiba's lips were glistening and his cheeks were flushed and he looked so attractive with his hair so softly falling in place when he let it go.
There was no real harm in making out for fun, right?
"I'm going to give honest feedback, so if you end up crying, I'm not going to feel bad about it," Jun warned. His heart was beating way too fast for something so ridiculous.
"Okay," Aiba agreed, and before Jun could make a move of his own, surged forward to grab Jun's shoulders and pull him into a passionate kiss.
It made his entire body tingle, from head to toe, a wave of pure positive energy and warmth. He could have guessed that Aiba would kiss like he did everything else, with the full power of the sun on his side.
Jun risked pressing their bodies close together, trapping Aiba tightly between himself and the counter as their tongues began to meet.
"Wait, oh no... oh shit," Aiba lightly pushed Jun's shoulders back, stepping away from the counter and ending their kiss abruptly.
Jun stared in confusion as Aiba shoved his hand in his own back pocket, wondering if he'd crossed a line unknowingly at Aiba's encouragement. But his friend's hand returned with car keys gripped tightly.
"I forgot I drove my car to go out earlier! I left it parked in a garage for hours, it's gonna cost me a fortune," Aiba explained in a panic.
"Can you get it out at this time of night? It might not make much difference if you get it now or in the morning," Jun said, exhaling slowly in relief.
He'd have been devastated if he'd messed things up between them. His ego was a little bruised that Aiba would be thinking about something else when they were kissing, but aside from that small wound, Jun figured they'd recover from this.
"I guess," Aiba answered with a heavy sigh, then a laugh at his own hopeless nature.
"Don't spend more money getting home, you can stay on my couch," Jun offered without hesitation.
Aiba planted another kiss on his lips, short and sweet. Maybe as a thank you, maybe as an apology, but either way Jun was soothed by the gesture.
"I don't think it's your kissing. I have no complaints," Jun told him with a shrug, opening the pizza box in search of another slice.
"But you might want to work on not killing the mood."
--
"So, what was he like? Did he tick all the boxes on the list?" Aiba asked him right away, before he'd even managed to get his coat off and sit down.
In a way, he was more excited for this group meeting than some of the others. It was rare that he have such good news.
"He did," Jun confirmed, letting his fingers dance across his menu.
Aiba looked startled for a moment, but only briefly. He quickly smiled and lifted his hands to give Jun some quiet applause.
"We've already made plans to go out again, but he's sort of... I guess the only thing is that we don't have much in common," Jun explained with a shrug of his shoulders.
He had never really put matching hobbies or interests on his list before, so Jun figured it must not have been very important to him anyway. They could find things to talk about eventually. It had been a quiet date, a little awkward, but Jun was willing to overlook it. It wasn't often he got the whole package.
Maybe part of the date's problem was his own intimidation. Yeah. He hadn't been bored, he'd been in shock.
"He sounds nice," Aiba offered with a soft smile.
"I haven't even said anything about him yet," Jun pointed out with a laugh, "You're right, he is nice though. I might need your help through this, Aiba-chan, you know I can come across cold sometimes."
"No," Aiba disagreed, picking up his menu and disappearing behind it. "You're really great and he sees it already. So don't even worry about it."
Jun was thankful for the compliment, of course, but he couldn't help but wonder if he'd done something wrong. He knew Aiba well enough by now to understand when there was something amiss, and there was definitely something odd about his tone today.
"Hey, is anything going on? I didn't mean to take over the conversation," Jun apologized, reaching forward to tap on the menu in front of Aiba's face. When it lowered and revealed Aiba smiling in that strained way, Jun's heart clenched in anxiety.
"It's fine, I promise. It's not you, I'm just really tired. Oh-chan and I stayed up all night in the apartment going over the New Year's special a thousand times," he said, then relaxed a little and began to smile more naturally. "It's filmed in November, you know!"
Jun relaxed too, but lifted Aiba's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze before leaning back to his own side of the table.
"Let's order extra food, then. You can bring it back to him. Make sure he eats."
Aiba nodded happily in agreement, then sent Jun a look he couldn't quite read.
"See," he said, "You're nice, Matsujun."
Jun shook his head, but Aiba wasn't finished.
"He's a very lucky guy."
--
There was something romantic and classic about deciding to go out with someone on the 24th of December. Jun loved the idea of being wrapped up in warm coats and scarves and holding hands, maybe exchanging gifts if things were serious enough. He couldn't say it was something he'd done too often in life, but each time he'd been dating someone around the holidays it had been nice to share some cake and drink champagne.
But now there was Aiba.
When Jun first learned that Aiba's birthday was on Christmas Eve, he'd not really thought much of it beyond the obvious. Although they'd had a conversation about how his parents had helped him celebrate when he was younger, there hadn't really been any discussion of how Aiba planned to mark the occasion this year. Without any specific plans in the making, no party he'd been invited to that he'd be missing, Jun had assumed that it was fine to accept a date for that evening.
"I'm happy for you," Aiba said on the other end of the phone, "Perfect timing, too! You can come over when it's done and tell me all about it. Oh-chan's gone to his parents for the week and I've got too much food for just me."
Jun laughed as he tried to picture what odd recipes Aiba might throw together from the contents of his refrigerator. Tempting, but not tempting enough to sway him.
"It sounds nice, but maybe we can do it another time? It's already the third date with Takkun, so I'm feeling a little more optimistic about being busy 'til morning," Jun stated with a giddy laugh.
"It's not a third date requirement to spend the night."
Jun could hear Aiba laughing too after his response, but there had been something unusually sharp in his tone as he said it. Maybe it just seemed abrupt because he couldn't see his friend's facial expressions. Jun frowned at the unease of it, but continued on anyway.
"No, but it would be a bonus. I don't know about you, but it's been awhile for me," Jun spoke, leaving the crowded crossing he'd been walking through and heading to a side street quickly. He knew that no one else would understand the context of the conversation from his one-sided responses, but it still felt private. Maybe he should have mentioned the date to Aiba earlier when they were hanging out alone.
"Are you sure about him?" Aiba asked.
"Sure about him? What do you mean?" Jun replied, hoping for clarification. Sure about him as a potential lover? Sure about wanting to have sex with him? There were different checklists for different stages of a relationship, and to be honest he wasn't sure about anything.
Except that Takkun had a great ass, a nice smile, and an interest in the same TV shows and movies. They were getting to know each other. There was a lot left to investigate.
"Does he make you feel that special something? You know... like if you're with him, you can do anything and it'll be fun. Or if he asked you for help, you'd run with all your strength to be there for him?" Aiba elaborated.
"I told you, it's only the third date. Isn't it unfair to try and judge that already?" Jun asked in response.
He knew he sounded defensive, and there was no reason to be so on edge, but Aiba sounded so serious with his line of questioning. Like he was disappointed in Jun for even thinking about sleeping with Takkun tonight. It made heat rise in Jun's neck and face quickly, his discomfort growing as silence stretched between them. He hated that feeling more than anything. That feeling like he'd lost favor in the eyes of someone important.
Support group or no, it wasn't really Aiba's business to dig this deep into his personal choices. Jun hardened his resolve and nearly hung up on his friend, until he heard a heavy sigh across the line.
"What about after six months? Do you think you would know by then?"
"Know what?" Jun asked in exasperation. "Know if he was special? Sure. Yeah. If I had six months, yeah, I'd have an idea by then. But I'm not going to wait that long to have sex with somebody. I'm sorry if that bothers you."
"I get it," Aiba spoke, his voice sounding tight to Jun's ears. "I get it, I just needed to hear you say it."
"What? Aiba-chan, you're being-" Jun tried to understand what the hell his friend was talking about, but the sound of the dial tone interrupting him felt as harsh as a blow to the gut.
Jun angrily shoved his cellphone into the pocket of his jeans and kicked the nearest wall, regretting the decision instantly. Rather than risk stares by limping to the train station, he hobbled a few feet ahead of him to lean against a vending machine and waited for the throbbing to pass.
"There's nothing wrong with having sex tonight," he told himself, curling his fingers tightly into a fist and relaxing them again.
He wouldn't let this stop him. Not when he'd been looking forward to this date all week.
"There's nothing wrong with having sex tonight," he repeated to himself, louder and more determined - and hoped that deep down somewhere he truly believed it.
--
Jun still felt a little guilty as he stood in front of the apartment's door, flowers in one hand as he rang the buzzer with the other.
He knew he was doing the right thing by coming here, but hurting anyone's feelings in the pursuit of his own happiness seemed wrong. If he'd been smart about all of this from the beginning, he might not have been so nervous right now.
But that's why he'd joined the singles club, right? He wasn't perfect, so he could only do his best to make amends.
He took a deep breath as the door opened, and promptly lost all air at the sight of Aiba Masaki, looking like a dream in flannel pajama bottoms and a white cotton shirt.
"Don't shut the door on me! Please," Jun begged, thrusting the flowers forward and bowing his head.
"Matsujun?" Aiba questioned, "What... what are you doing here? What about your date?"
Jun cleared his throat and stood up straight again, embarrassed by the fact that Aiba was just staring at the flowers instead of taking them. He wished he had any ounce of the coolness Aiba claimed he had right now, instead of feeling like he was floundering on the edge of rejection.
"I canceled it. I'm not going on any more dates with him. But I'm not here for the support group, I'm here because I need to tell you something."
Aiba clearly looked surprised, opening the door further and inviting Jun inside, but Jun was a little frozen right now.
"I'd been thinking about you. Thinking about you a lot, actually, after we talked on the phone earlier. I was really upset thinking that you were upset, and more than anything I wanted to apologize and make sure you were happy. I wanted to be here with you. I didn't care about anybody else."
Jun couldn't explain why it had taken him so long to figure this out, but once it had hit him, he was absolutely certain.
"I realized how stupid it is to get all these ideas in your head about how everything's supposed to work. That's what's been making me strike out every time. If the guy doesn't fit some imaginary profile I made up from nothing, then he isn't the right person for me, but why?"
Aiba seemed to be thinking about it, but nothing came out of his mouth. Good! Good, to be honest, because Jun knew now that there wasn't any explanation for that method of dating. He'd been wrong this whole time and he wasn't afraid to admit it, especially if letting go of his misconceptions brought real, true affection into his life.
"I don't want to choose by criteria anymore, I want to choose by feeling," Jun continued, wiping his sweaty palms against his sweater.
"I love you, Aiba Masaki. And I'm really sorry I ruined your birthday."
It was quiet, too quiet, Jun's worst nightmare if he was being honest. And still he couldn't regret the words that he'd said. While his fear whispered at him to run, he didn't budge from Aiba's doorstep, waiting patiently for his fate.
Aiba finally pulled the bouquet from Jun's hands, lifting it to his nose and inhaling slowly. Jun frowned as he noticed the tears gathering at Aiba's eyes.
"It's still my birthday," Aiba said, and to Jun's relief, began to laugh. "It's not ruined at all. It's the best birthday of all time."
Jun didn't want to make any assumptions, but that sounded like what he'd been hoping to hear. He shifted from foot to foot, waiting for a final signal. He got it when Aiba put his arms around him and began tugging him into the apartment.
"I love you, Jun, I love you. You have no idea!"
Jun could feel his own tears forming, but he wasn't about to start crying. He had to find a more suitable outlet for his overwhelming happiness.
"How about trying that kissing thing again," Jun suggested, running his hand down Aiba's torso. "Want to see how long we can keep the mood this time?"
Aiba was immediately on board with that idea, trailing kisses all over Jun's neck and jaw as they stumbled through the genkan.
"Yeah, and hey Jun?" Aiba spoke against his chin, "I'm disbanding the singles group to start a relationship, if that's okay with you."
Jun laughed until he was silenced by meeting Aiba's lips.
Yeah. He was okay with that.