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Aug 18, 2011 23:53

The Bad Life Decisions Meme


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love-affection, fluff, rated: pg, action, rated: r, crack-humor, rated: pg13

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Pepper Potts || Marvel Films mspotts August 19 2011, 05:04:55 UTC
8 - for giggles? morethanwords August 19 2011, 08:01:09 UTC
And that's when I said 'the boots leave or you do'.

Honestly, how can a man wade though something like that and not think to take off his boots when he comes in the door?

[sorry, Pepper. Tifa's usually good about not sharing but well, here. Have another shot. Bar tender's gotta practice new drink recipes and she needs a second opinion.]

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Why sure! mspotts August 19 2011, 08:07:36 UTC
[How did Pepper even GET here? She doesn't make a habit of being in bars off duty. She doesn't remember, but there is surely an appropriate and reasonable reason for it.

Hiccup.]

No, yeah. I get that. I had to clean...[She makes a wide hand gesture, but what exactly she's gesturing at is anyone's guess.]...a pile of green something from Atlantis off the carpet last week. I didn't go to school for that.

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Yay! morethanwords August 19 2011, 08:48:08 UTC
[Tifa's not sure what Atlantis is but green goo on the floor she can entirely relate to. Have a slightly wobbly nod that she'll have to put a hand on the bar counter afterward over.]

Right. How'd they - if we weren't around? - absolutely buried in their stuff within a month's time. Their dirty stuff.

[in her head that was a complete sentence]

He tried to keep a spare tire in the bedroom.

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mspotts August 19 2011, 23:04:49 UTC
[Pepper blinked, recognizing the signs that her bartender was on the verge of completely gone. She herself was fine, of course.]

In the bedroom? He can't get a garage? [Sounds more like: hecandeggagarage?]

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morethanwords August 20 2011, 06:11:55 UTC
[she definitely needed to cut off her new friend's supply of booze, Tifa thought. And then lost the thought as she realized that 'booze' rhymed with 'looze' and - what? There was a squint as she tried to translate Pepper's question. She poured them both another shot and then both elbows went on the counter.]

Hi's a guy. Can't figure outta - out the difference between a house an' a - a - a motorcycle storage place. [there's a gusty sigh] But he's sucha cute guy...

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2! americacapt August 19 2011, 21:57:03 UTC
[My, God. They were innocent. He was Captain Steven Rogers, better known as Captain America. She was Virginia Potts, better known as Pepper Potts. You couldn't find two more squeaky clean individuals. They were literally saints.

They had been shopping, in Malibu no less. Shopping for shoes. Steve needed some and been handled off to Ms. Potts like a toy. And now here they were, lights blazing and sirens screeching.

And Steve had no Earthly idea what they had done.]

(ooc: watch Tony laugh at this forever :|)

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Re: 2! mspotts August 19 2011, 23:02:02 UTC
[Okay -- the key here was to stay calm, for Steve's sake. Even though Pepper had never gotten detention growing up, let alone arrested. Just the thought of getting in trouble used to be enough to make her break out in hives!

Then she'd worked for Tony for the better part of a decade. So. That had mostly cleared up. She nodded with resolve, putting her hand on the good Captain's shoulder. And, wow! Super Soldier indeed.]

Steve, listen to me. We're going to be fine. I'm sure this is just a misunderstanding.

[Mostly. She was certain they weren't going to get in any real trouble -- an in with SHIELD will give a person that kind of confidence.]

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Re: 2! americacapt August 19 2011, 23:53:42 UTC
[Steve was absolutely calm. And he had gotten in trouble a couple of times. He just never gotten in trouble by the law. Of course he had tempted fate a lot.

He punched Hitler 200x times. He punched Johann Schmidt considerably less, but the bastard hit hard. He can deal with this. What he can't deal with is how the papers are going to see it. He takes a breath.]

Complete misunderstanding. I'm the man that saved their lives, though they're probably don't know it...

Just a conversation, right?

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Poor Steve XD mspotts August 20 2011, 02:17:40 UTC
Yes. Just a conversation.

[With the local police, who tend to get really very jurisdictiony when men in black suits show up. And with the senate, when they get wind of it. And with TMZ, when they show up in like five minutes. And then she's on Fox News again, and that's the worst place in the world.]

Hey, so. Captain. Just in theory -- in theory -- how fast can you run?

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Steve: :| americacapt August 20 2011, 02:28:59 UTC
Simple conversation.

[Oh god. Did they agree to buy some sort of drug and used accidental code words? And Steve isn't keen on the Senate, has no idea of TMZ because he thinks it looks absurd, and he's flat out refused to be interviewed by pundits on Fox or MSNBC. All he's thinking now is a simple conversation. That's it.]

About... 40 miles per hour? 60 but not nearly as long...

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Pepper: >_>;;; mspotts August 20 2011, 02:36:15 UTC
Alright. I don't jog, I do yoga, I have no idea how that even translates to...

[Trailing off, she reaches into her purse to press an emergency button Agent Coulson gave her. She's got one in there from Tony, too, but she'd rather he didn't know about whatever the hell this is. Looking down into her purse, she lets out a shriek.]

What the! How--

[She holds the purse out to Steve. Inside are diamonds. A lot of diamonds. A ridiculous amount of diamonds, really.]

Okay. Okay. I'm sure this is just...a very, very weird and terrifying misunderstanding. It's my purse, Happy's parked three blocks down, you don't need to be here. Run!

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Steve: D: americacapt August 20 2011, 03:11:14 UTC
Yoga's good for the body. Keeps it limber for sudden-

[Steve looks at the purse for a moment, mind rolling over the situation. They stopped in the food court. The shoe store. The music store.]

Okay, so I know you bought something at Chop't, that salad place, right? We went to Nik-

[Steve shook his head.]

Ms. Potts, everyone and their grandmother things I'm an addle old grouchy man who doesn't know better despite only being in my mid 20s. They're going to believe me. Let me just talk to them--

[He paused, considered, this was not a place to talk with that amount of diamonds.] Excuse me, Miss Potts. [He picked her up and ran. Happy could contact SHIELD because guess who left his comm at home. The Avengers comm was on, of course, but the Avengers didn't have the same set of abilities as SHIELD.]

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Pepper: o_o! mspotts August 20 2011, 03:24:08 UTC
Oh!

[Well, okay. This was happening! It's not like it's the first time she'd been picked up and ran with. More like the 23rd.]

See -- this is what happens when you don't send out a personal shopper.

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Steve: >_> americacapt August 21 2011, 00:15:23 UTC
[It was happening. Steve had the feeling that telling her he was going to take her to the car and Happy would be an issue. They didn't have enough time and they could feasibly lie to the police that they didn't hear them. Because they were with Happy. Three blocks away and out of hearing distance for a few more seconds.

He was a good man, and he hated to lie, but Ms. Potts didn't have to deal with this mess right now.]

Then I'd have to go save them and it just becomes a nasty cycle. [Steve chuckles softly, just barely a block from the car and Happy right now. They could call SHIELD. Yes.]

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Pepper:>< mspotts August 21 2011, 06:02:10 UTC
[Strange as this was, Pepper could only reassure herself that she'd been in stranger situations. Like that one time she'd walked into the wrong room at SHIELD headquarters and gotten herself transported to New Jersey. That has been really strange. This was just mild, unintentional grand larceny.]

There's Happy!

[What a driver. Tony's driver. Which meant Tony was absolutely going to hear all about this later, but one thing at a time. Smart guy that Happy was, he seemed to understand that Captain America+Running=Trouble, so he made an incredibly illegal u-turn, and sped over towards the pair.]

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