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Thor Odinson || MCU asgardhero June 19 2012, 01:59:14 UTC
... ;__; Thor'd. 9. starkingenuity June 19 2012, 02:04:53 UTC
It's one of those incredibly not possible things that have somehow become entirely too possible. Tony's not sure how he got ahold of the test. What possessed him to buy the test. Or why he's holding the pissed on stick over the box as he sits on the toilet like a girl he'd liked in college, five years older than him, who had probably been attempting to get knocked up to get in good with the Family Stark.

"Fuck."

This isn't...

"I don't even have the right fucking biology!"

What did gods do? Lay eggs in someone's abdomen?!

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CURSE YOU AND YOUR FODDER, RNG! asgardhero June 19 2012, 02:26:37 UTC
The yell is negligible; Thor hears it from down the hall where he sits in front of Stark's small gaming machine and crashes his tiny, projected chariot into others. Stark will yell. Often it is about nothing other than some slight perceived for his own gain, or for some strike of what he calls "eureka."

Thor does not know eureka, he had never been there. So instead he causes another chariot to fly off of the road on the teevee box.

It is a slow thing, then, something with gaining momentum. A niggling in his chest. A tremor in that always steady song that the power in the man's chest radiates. Thor looks up and his own chariot careens into a ditch as he stands. The pulse that lay between them is...

Does Tony Stark panic?

"Stark?" He calls it down the hall from his place before the couch. "Stark!"

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WTH Right? Usually I just pick whatever after I roll but... starkingenuity June 19 2012, 02:40:41 UTC
"Do not come in here!" Slam! Tony knows it won't keep him out. Thor doesn't have any weird weakness against wood or brass that he knows of. "I swear to God--"

Tony shoves the test back into the box and shoves the box into the waste-paper basket before he does up his fly and runs the water.

He's going to throw up. And not like the morning sickness he's been experiencing. Let the hyperventilating begin!

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No buts. You did. You mad genius. asgardhero June 19 2012, 02:55:51 UTC
Clearly that is an invitation. There are no doors that Stark can shut that he cannot break down.

Jarvis cautions him against entering the bathroom but Thor listens to the ethereal servant no more than he listens to Stark himself. The lock is broken with a quick tug and a snap and the door swings open obediently. "Stark." He looks at the man's reflection in the wide mirror above the basin. "Are you hurt?"

Tony does not like to be tended to, Thor understands that; it is every man's right. Still, wounds must be seen to-- especially when that man is human and slower to heal.

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<3 ILU too starkingenuity June 19 2012, 03:51:03 UTC
"Don't you knock?" No, Thor just breaks hinges. Most of the repairs done to the Tower are from an overzealous god these days. Tony should take away his key. Not that he had a key to begin with. He just goes where he wants. A sudden craving for tuna kits in the middle of the night? Thor goes and returns in five minutes with bags of little tuna and crackers, making a mess in bed.

Sometimes Tony finds him endearing. Mostly he just wonders if the god had intestines like humans do.

Speaking of, he places his hand over his abdomen without meaning to and then drags it away again. "I'm fi--" No, Thor sees passed the 'fine' these days. "You knocked me up. You bastard." And all said with a smile. Because this is hilarious. And frightening.

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u+ i = ... forever? asgardhero June 19 2012, 03:58:56 UTC
If Stark did not want him, Thor would not stay. And it is a hard thing to lie above that shinning melody that connects them. There have been days apart, angry words and fists thrown. Of course. Tony enjoys hurling sharp metal objects when he does not have the protection of his armor. Sometimes Thor leaves him to his peace, sometimes he pushes him against a wall and they take their anger out on each other instead of apart.

"I--"

His eyes soften with a lack of understanding and Thor shakes his head. "The last time we fought was weeks ago. You are still bruised?" Perhaps he would have to rethink the way he attacked Stark in his suit, if the metal was truly so fragile.

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Always, always-always, but you kill me with him. *slain* starkingenuity June 19 2012, 04:09:26 UTC
Sometimes Tony just can't take him. He's so earnest about it, Thor is, and everything that comes out of his mouth is unintentionally perfect. Tony's eyebrows shoot upwards on his forehead and he laughs softly ( ... )

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*gathers up remains with care and love* asgardhero June 19 2012, 04:21:45 UTC
Thor's eyes narrow but he desists. He always does. Stark is a well-welded thing and Thor only manages occasional glimpses beyond those thick boundaries. The harder he attempts prize the pieces open the tighter they reseal and so he has learned to bide his time ( ... )

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*phoenixdown!* starkingenuity June 19 2012, 04:33:12 UTC
Again with the door breaking! Tony scoffs at it, at Thor, but the song between them sings loudly and why should he feel awkward when this is so good? He needs Thor. Not physically and maybe not even emotionally, but there's a fundamental connect on a metaphysical level that had been there ever since they'd messed with recharging the reactor in the lab many many months before.

He has to be clear. Very clear.

No mincing words, Thor wouldn't understand completely.

Tony opens and closes his mouth a few times before he turns painfully human eyes towards the Thunderer. "Unless I can figure out how to reverse it and how it happened in the first place, we're going to have a baby."

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Re: *phoenixdown!* asgardhero June 19 2012, 04:46:29 UTC
Thor stops.

His annoyance, anger, stops.

He tries to search for other meanings behind Stark's words, but there are none. A child.

Thor's face breaks into a wide, beaming smile and he crosses the room in long, quick strides to wrap Stark in strong arms. He lifts him bodily from his feet. "A child! This is happy day!"

... his brother is a shapeshifter, after all. Thor had grown up with a fluid understanding of male and female, at least in the things whispered into his ear.

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starkingenuity June 19 2012, 10:50:48 UTC
Thor's anger and annoyance might stop but Tony's just grows because-- Oh, rib crush!

And, "How is having a child a happy day?!" It's a good thing that Thor is close, though, Tony isn't sure he's really going to be dealing well with standing at the moment because saying it makes it real and he still doesn't know how this is happening. Does Thor's ejaculate contain eggs and sperm? The man's supposedly a god of fertility and--

And Tony knew they should've used protective. He just knew it!

"Please outline all of the good things that can come from this," he says, turning his face to Thor's chest, "because I really can't think of any."

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asgardhero June 19 2012, 16:19:18 UTC
Thor is still smiling when he sets Tony back down to his feet-- but he does not let go right away, not with the man turned into him in that manner. It is not often that he and Stark are truly affectionate; they do not coddle each other. But when Thor rests his nose and smiling mouth against the top of Stark's head, it is because he wants to be close to the man in this moment.

"How could any child born of us be less than radiant?" The question is hypothetical, rumbled into Stark's hair. "Beautiful and clever, certainly. The best things of both Asgard and Midgard, unique and wonderful. Stark!" He laughs. "Tony. This is life. It is always good."

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starkingenuity June 19 2012, 16:28:00 UTC
It's usually a bad sign when Thor calls him anything other than Stark and Tony almost wrinkles his nose at the way the larger man's chest keeps on bustling about like that. He's charming, but Tony doesn't want anyone to out charm him. And he absolutely does not want Thor Odinson to start acting like a proud daddy all of a sudden.

What the hell is Tony suppose to do with a kid? And this is probably a thought to have after he figures out how he's suppose to carry it to term without modifying the suit.

Or...you know...carry it to term AT ALL.

But still, Thor's happiness is, unfortunately, his own. He smirks. "So it'll get beauty and brains from me and what about from you? Ability to eat thirty sandwiches in the space of an hour?"

((OOC: TONY IS IN DISTRESS AT HWD THOR! STEVE IS BEING AN IDIOT!))

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asgardhero June 19 2012, 17:11:54 UTC
Thor grins in return, laughing a laugh so happy that it nearly breaks in on itself. "Yes, of course. Those tiny pizzas. Ah, maybe she will be able to control lightning."

The promise of this is something exquisitely rare, something that Thor-- in all his long years-- has never yet experienced. It pounds against his ribs and in his head. Life.

... But he is so young, yet. And will the child be mortal?

He is on the ground before he realizes it, knees having given way.

((ooc: 1) Tony in a pregnant suit CRACKS ME UP.
2) I keep picturing Thor as doing the whole "Tiberus, no, that's a terrible name" George Kirk's happiest-sad voice. Thanks, Chris Hemsworth.))

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starkingenuity June 19 2012, 17:57:57 UTC
"Woah, woah there big guy--" He'd not expected Thor to be this overwhelmed. He's pleased, he's happy, and he's just realized that he's going to be a father. Tony has had a few days for it all to sink in bu Thor-- Tony slips his hands into his pockets and looks down at the toppled over blond man.

His first instinct is to laugh, and so he does before he makes a long, drawn out sigh and sits beside him on the floor and drapes an arm over his knee.

They are not the sort to cling to one another. They never have been. Their song doesn't require a constant touch to keep it alive.

"She huh? Maybe. Think of the advantage she'll have at MIT."

((OOC: oh god, he had Captain America hair in that. OMG I HAVE A NEW PLOT IDEA.))

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