Dude. Steve, you have to listen to me I am in the zone. The mind zone [ A zone entered by downing two fifths of tequila, and a screwdriver that was more Vodka then juice.]
[ It was Coulson's urging that got Steve here playing blocker for the drunken Darcy. Maria had urged him to accompany her as well. There was no telling what trouble Darcy could get into when she's intoxicated. Steve would have to babysit.
Steve leaned back when she leaned into him. She was starting to smell a lot like booze and it was not a good scent on her. ] Okay. What's the mind zone?
Tequila. No wait that's no right. [ Darcy holds out her hands and furrows her brow, centering whatever braincells that are still working and looks at him, slightly dazed.] It's like Narnia but for thoughts. Do you know what Narnia is Steve? Goat-men live there. Goat-men with scarves and umbrellas. Goat-men Steve.
[ Tequila? Wow. She was really drunk. Steve waited for her to figure out whatever answer was swirling around in her drunken brain. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned forward slightly. He just hoped she didn't try to lean forward again.
His brow raised when she spoke of Narnia and goat-men. That was not what he was expecting. ] Okay. What exactly was this knowledge you wanted me to know, Darcy?
[ She doesn't lean forward, but she does try to make a sideswipe for that lovely bottle of booze, frowning when she misses it the first three tries.] What? Ohhhhh Mr.Tum- [ She stops herself and shakes her head.] No that's the wrong thing. It's about you and the lady. With the lady. [ Words Darcy use your words..]
[ Steve is having an incredibly hard time deciphering whatever the hell Darcy is trying to tell him. It all sounds like weird drunken gibberish as she tries without success to get her hands on a bottle of booze. Steve has made no attempt to help her mainly because he's well aware that the bottle is empty.
Steve tilted his head at the mention of "the lady". What exactly was she talking about here. ] Should I know what you're talking about, Darcy?
Maria. With the heels and the badass, and she looks fucking awesome in that weird catsuit thing. Like verging on Tasha levels. [ She finally gets hold of that tequila bottle, turns it over and frowns deeply when nothing comes out.] Goodbye tequila.
[ Steve wasn't expecting that to come out of her mouth. He did smile though and bow his head just a little bit. At the mention of Maria's name his cheeks flushed just slightly and he thought back to their moment in her quarters. You have succeeded in flustering the dear Captain. ] She does look--nice. What about us?
[ Darcy grins at points at his face, a teasing tone taking over the slightly drunken slur in her speech.]You liiiiike her. I mean shit if I swung that way and she did too, I'd be on that in a hot second. Steve. She's so awesome.
[ You are making it worse by calling him out on it, Darcy. Why are you doing this to him? Don't tease the poor man. ] I do like her quite a bit. She's---[ Steve struggled to find the appropriate word. When Darcy called her awesome he just smiled and nodded. ] awesome.
[ Steve is just going to pretend you haven't informed him you wanna do very sexual things to woman he is currently seeing. ]
Good. You need a chick that can handle your manly, [ She waves a hand in a wide arc, gesturing towards his person.] man-ness.
But what I'm saying is that you gotta take that and just, treat her like, like the Queen of Sheba. She's just so pretty, and she has like freakish amounts of knowledge about battle strategy and big, no huge fucking guns. [ She sighs wistfully for a moment, before turning to Steve and giving him her best 'disapproving mother' stare...which is less then effective when drunk.] Have you bought her flowers?
[ Steve leaned his head back to avoid her sweeping hand. She was talking about his manly nature from what he gathered. She was very drunk. It seemed that Steve was going to have to carry the woman home at some point during this evening. He had no doubt she'd have issues getting back to Stark Tower.
The Queen of Sheba? He was aware of the reference, but he wasn't sure why she was making it or how one treated the Queen of Sheba. Steve could only assume she meant good. ] She is very intelligent. [ Steve paused at the mention of her having huge guns. He chose not to say anything. Darcy was already onto another question. ] I have yet to do that.
Steve! Buy flowers. For the love of whatever, buy some. Like a giant ass bouquet, and stick like a coupon for dinner for two in it. Full on rom-com shit okay? Steeeeeeeeeve. [ Somewhere around the last note of his name she gets distracted by his shirt, and pats him like one would a small child.] See, you gotta use that big beaty thing in your chest. Wine and dine that ass.
[ She was incredibly hung up on this buy her flowers thing. He was kind of confused by how invested she was in the flowers. ] Why a coupon? [ That seemed like a very strange thing to put in the flowers. He didn't know what she meant by rom-com either. She had really lost Steve with this little rant.
Steve looked down at where she was patting him on the chest. His mouth opened unable to find words when Darcy suggested to "wine and dine that ass". ] Excuse me?
It's thoughtful, like a...flirty way to ask her out.[ She points at him, overshooting the distance so much that she pokes his cheek. Deciding that is a good place she puts her hand on his face, just sort of holding it there while she finishes off a previously forgotten shot.]Take her out to dinner, buy some flowers, and just bust out the fucking candles. The whole nine yards y'know? Red table clothes, fire, and...and...no fuck it. Don't you dare bring in a violinist. Don't even.
[ Steve had already asked her out multiple times. They had all gone very well. They had recently engaged in sexual activities in her quarters. It was a night that Steve would probably never forget mainly because it was his first time and also because it was Maria. He cared about Maria. Quite a bit.
Steve didn't move to take her hand off his cheek. She would only put it right back there. It was a futile attempt. She brought up flowers again along with candles this time. Then she seemed to get very upset at the prospect of Steve bringing a violinist on a date. ] Alright, Darcy. I think you've had enough. Let's get home alright? You can talk about flowers on the way.
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Steve leaned back when she leaned into him. She was starting to smell a lot like booze and it was not a good scent on her. ] Okay. What's the mind zone?
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Do you know what Narnia is Steve?
Goat-men live there. Goat-men with scarves and umbrellas.
Goat-men Steve.
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His brow raised when she spoke of Narnia and goat-men. That was not what he was expecting. ] Okay. What exactly was this knowledge you wanted me to know, Darcy?
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It's about you and the lady. With the lady. [ Words Darcy use your words..]
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Steve tilted his head at the mention of "the lady". What exactly was she talking about here. ] Should I know what you're talking about, Darcy?
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Steve. She's so awesome.
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[ Steve is just going to pretend you haven't informed him you wanna do very sexual things to woman he is currently seeing. ]
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But what I'm saying is that you gotta take that and just, treat her like, like the Queen of Sheba.
She's just so pretty, and she has like freakish amounts of knowledge about battle strategy and big, no huge fucking guns. [ She sighs wistfully for a moment, before turning to Steve and giving him her best 'disapproving mother' stare...which is less then effective when drunk.] Have you bought her flowers?
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The Queen of Sheba? He was aware of the reference, but he wasn't sure why she was making it or how one treated the Queen of Sheba. Steve could only assume she meant good. ] She is very intelligent. [ Steve paused at the mention of her having huge guns. He chose not to say anything. Darcy was already onto another question. ] I have yet to do that.
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Steeeeeeeeeve. [ Somewhere around the last note of his name she gets distracted by his shirt, and pats him like one would a small child.] See, you gotta use that big beaty thing in your chest.
Wine and dine that ass.
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Steve looked down at where she was patting him on the chest. His mouth opened unable to find words when Darcy suggested to "wine and dine that ass". ] Excuse me?
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The whole nine yards y'know? Red table clothes, fire, and...and...no fuck it. Don't you dare bring in a violinist.
Don't even.
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Steve didn't move to take her hand off his cheek. She would only put it right back there. It was a futile attempt. She brought up flowers again along with candles this time. Then she seemed to get very upset at the prospect of Steve bringing a violinist on a date. ] Alright, Darcy. I think you've had enough. Let's get home alright? You can talk about flowers on the way.
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