564. what are we getting into today

[ill_find_a_hole]

THE RANDOM SCENARIO MEME
Extended Edition!Six different possible scenarios with multiple choices or you can just throw it all out the door and come up with your own! Perfect if you're wanting to play but really want a prompt.

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Comments

The Midnighter | The Authority/Wildstorm Comics | No 2 or 3 unless Apollo, otherwise OTA

[grouchinleather]

5-1 oh god

[tochasethesun]

SOMEONE. FIX THIS. NOW. [Alien shenanigans. Apollo hates them. Who knew he'd make such a... statuesque woman? Right now he's pointedly avoiding looking down the front of his suit because OH GOD HE CAN FEEL THEM FLOPPING AROUND-]

best

[grouchinleather]

[Midnighter is currently standing in front of a mirror, using one of his t-shirts to wrap his chest and otherwise seeming nonplussed. He doesn't like this whole woman thing anymore than Apollo did, but he also knew it was only temporary. Because if it wasn't heads would roll.]

Can I blame the junkie? I want to blame the junkie.

[tochasethesun]

[It better be temporary. He cannot deal with this. God why are they so BIG-]

I'm perfectly fine with blaming the junkie until he FIXES THIS. [Did you hear that on the other side of the Carrier, junkie?]

[grouchinleather]

Right, you might want to check if he's conscious first. Yelling won't make him wake up from his drug coma.

[Grabs a boob just to fuck with Apollo. Ew, they're so... not fun.]

[tochasethesun]

If he's not, I'll make him conscious. [By crispy-frying his ass. You don't mess with the sun god.

And now he's giving you a look, Midnighter.] ...Why are you touching it?

[grouchinleather]

Because it's there.

[tochasethesun]

That's not a good reason. [Midnighter you're weird. But now he's reaching out to grope one of yours experimentally. Judging from his face, he does not like what he feels.]

...They're really squishy. What's the appeal?

[grouchinleather]

Fuck if I know, ask Jack. On second thought, the only people he wants to fuck are his precious cities. You might be better off with Jer--[Yeah, not even going to finish that sentence.]

Ask some random guy on the street.

[tochasethesun]

[Ew, he does not want to think about that. At all. And good thing you didn't finish that sentence, because he is NOT asking Jeroen anything. Except if he'd like Apollo to make him original or extra crispy.]

That was a rhetorical question, 'Nighter, there is no appeal.

[grouchinleather]

Here I thought I'd be the one freaking out and you'd be the calm one.

[tochasethesun]

Midnighter, I have breasts. Floppy, hairless, squishy... breasts. I don't even want to look at what they've replaced my dick with. Fuck being calm.

[grouchinleather]

Considering all of the vagina's you surround yourself with on our off time, I'd assume they wouldn't creep you out as much as it apparently does.

[Smirks to show he's just being an ass.] Way to be a gay stereotype.

[tochasethesun]

Female friends are not vaginas, nor do I have to have anything to do with theirs. [He's giving you an irritated look. You are an ass.] "Not liking female genitalia" is a gay stereotype for a reason. We're gay because we don't like female genitalia.

[grouchinleather]

Female friends have vaginas, Apollo. Or are you that badly in denial?

And here I thought the criteria for gay was "likes other men" but you learn something new every day.

[tochasethesun]

Do you have to be an ass about this? You know what I mean. On both counts. This is not how I wanted to spend my morning, I think I'm entitled to a small freak-out.