Ffffff COMPUTER WHY YOU DO ME THIS WAY :(stirsthewatersJuly 20 2011, 18:42:16 UTC
[Raphael huffs out a laugh.] I'm sure I don't know. The mind is . . . [The llama gives him the evil eye, and Raphael Looks at it again.] A very strange place, sometimes.
You need the rest your body draws from this stage of sleep, Ben. Even if the nightmares keep you from feeling very rested. [Raph glares pointedly at the llama, and then spreads his wings.]
Perhaps if I . . . [And a wave of Grace ripples out from him, altering the dream landscape around them.]
[Oh, hello, Moab. Peace slams into him like a sledgehammer and he nearly goes all the way down, barely managing to catch himself on one hand.] Okay, this? This is awesome.
[Raphael raises a slow eyebrow at the llama and then bursts out in abrupt laughter. It's a bright, clear sound, pure and infectious and old as time itself.]
[And Ben laughs too, rolling over onto his back. The sun is setting and turning the rocks a more fiery red than normal, coloring the sky with wild pinks and oranges and deep, dark blue to the east. A cawing raven circles overhead, and the llama folds itself to a position lying on its chest, where it horks up a pair of cuds and starts chewing them. Do llamas have cuds? Ben doesn't know. It's a dream.]
[Raphael smiles and spreads out his great ivory wings, letting the sunlight catch the dusty gold highlights in the feathers.] You are most welcome, Ben. But you know this exists in your own mind and memory.
Yeah, but you brought it to the fore. And maybe... Maybe I can rest here. [Nothing's chasing him, nothing horrible is happening. That tightness in his chest that never really goes away has, at least, loosened, and he can breathe easier.
Even if there is a two-headed llama assaulting his nose nearby.]
I hope so. [Raphael tilts his head back to study the sky, considering.] It occurs to me that with time and effort, you might learn how to do the same, you know.
Lucid dreaming? I've heard of it but never thought seriously about trying it. [He breathes for a few seconds.] But it sure would be nice to not be afraid to sleep.
No doubt it would. You are human, still, Ben, and meant to rest far more frequently than you do. Particularly with all that lies ahead of you. [Raphael sighs quietly.] You need your strength, son of God. And His.
[Ben huffs out a noise that is in no way a laugh.] Tell me about it. Maybe if I was more rested, I could hear Gib better. The demons get pretty loud and pretty bold, these days. Doesn't help that I'm stuck right there in a whole damned den of 'em.
And if I do have to go back to Afghanistan after all? [He throws an arm across his eyes and shakes his head.] God, Raph, I don't know if I come back from that. Not in the shape I'm in.
[Raphael nods gravely.] Giborel's voice is different than Guriel's, Ben. You must learn to listen in a different way. And you cannot lean on him as you did on Guriel. That is not Giborel's strength. Nor your own.
You have much still to face, Hound of God. Much more than you have the strength to overcome.
I know. I know all that. I just hope I don't let everyone down when the time comes.
It's tough getting used to the new paradigm, Raph. I'm working on it, I really am, but I really didn't need to be kidnapped and forcibly integrated into a new Pack on top of everything else, y'know?
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Isn't.
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Perhaps if I . . . [And a wave of Grace ripples out from him, altering the dream landscape around them.]
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["GRONK."
The llama, it seems, has followed them.]
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This is fantastic, Raph, thank you.
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Even if there is a two-headed llama assaulting his nose nearby.]
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And if I do have to go back to Afghanistan after all? [He throws an arm across his eyes and shakes his head.] God, Raph, I don't know if I come back from that. Not in the shape I'm in.
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You have much still to face, Hound of God. Much more than you have the strength to overcome.
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It's tough getting used to the new paradigm, Raph. I'm working on it, I really am, but I really didn't need to be kidnapped and forcibly integrated into a new Pack on top of everything else, y'know?
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But trials rarely come upon us in single file, Ben. That, I fear, is the way of things. I would that it were different.
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