[No matter how much the Doctor goes through, no matter how much destruction and loss he suffers, he'll never be able to pass up the chance at vandalizing and having s'mores (pronounced "SAH-mores") with Cassy-Cas at an abandoned carnival. Even if Cas detests that nickname and insists they're scavenging for food and supplies.
Excuse the Doctor as he's utterly enraptured by the clown's wardrobes at the current moment.]
CARNIVAAAAALheavenonhighDecember 3 2011, 03:58:34 UTC
[Fucking twinkies. Every time, no matter where they're scavenging, there are twinkies, and this carnival seems to be no exception. Cas sighs and stuffs the little fuckers into his bag grumpily; the only person at the camp who still eats them is Dean- and with a passion Cas can't comprehend, at that- and so he figures they aren't a total waste of space.]
I can't believe these things never go bad... [When he gets no response, he turns around and finds... The Doctor, disappearing behind a booth full of what would appear to be clown clothing. He would. Sighing again, he follows.]
... VAAAAAAAAAAAL!aintno_graveDecember 3 2011, 04:07:28 UTC
Yes! [The Doctor reappears, looking like he just had rainbow paint dumped on him (or, alternatively, like he did in his sixth regeneration).] Oh, you meant useful to you? That's a big negative, Cassy Cas.
[...And there it is, Cas's very first facepalm. Congratulations, Doctor, that's an achievement. Groaning, he gives the Doctor a once-over, eyes all but bleeding from the combinations of colours, patterns, and fabrics.]
If there wasn't a sign over both of our heads screaming "maim us" before, there certainly is now.
[He's going to have to take the doctor's word for it and assume that there isn't anything useful here.]
I found... [Fucking twinkies. He can't even bring himself to say food, and so he doesn't.] ...Some stuff. Let's get moving, there might be something we can use over in one of the maintenance tents.
Something useful? C'mon, a kettle and a string -- I think we can find more than just something that I can use. [He spots something that looks like a puppet's arm in Cas's way. He pulls out an umbrella and pushes the arm to the side.] Allow me.
[It falls off, a liquid quickly following suit and forming a puddle at their feet.] Tell me, Cas -- are puppets on Earth supposed to bleed?
[Cas is about to say something witty, really he is. But that arm just fell off and started bleeding, and that kind of trumps any possible snark he might have come up with.]
Fuck me.
[No reek of death, and that blood's oozing out pretty quickly... This body is obviously fresh- which is not good, not at all.]
You didn't see any axe murders when you came over here before, did you? [He has to ask, it this is the Doctor he's dealing with. For all Cas knows, there could have been an axe murdering going on right before his eyes and the Doctor'd be more interested in a clown nose or something.]
[Sorry, too busy examining the dead body with the sonic. He flips it open and studies it intently.]
Wasn't killed here; has traces of hay and dung in the wound, which means that... [He pauses to look at the victim's face.] She was killed outside, most likely in the stables, bleed to death. Been dead for about an hour and was moved here a few minutes ago. So Cas... [Eyebrows raised.] did you see any axe murderers when you came over here? Or, rather, sword murderers; her arm was cut off by a sword.
Uh. [He's still not used to this, the almost instant information the Doctor seems to pull out of his ass with his... Screwdriver. Really, Cas used to be an angel, very much a mystical being- all of this science business is, well, alien to him.] Right. No, no I didn't.
[That's not even the weirdest part of this situation though. A sword...?]
A sword. You're sure?
[How the hell- No. He's not even gonna go there. Maybe he shouldn't have smoked before coming out here. Maybe he should have smoked more before coming out here.]
[The Doctor shakes his sonic screwdriver with a small smile.] Trust the sonic. [His face then drops and becomes ashen white -- even through the dim light -- when some degree of realization hits him.] Do you know what this means, Cas? This is a trap and we just walked right into it. Whomever did this, must have been doing this for a long time.
[A flicker of a smile, which contrasted with the cold, hardness in his eyes, flashes across his face.] But, he didn't expect one thing. He made one grave, one dangerous mistake that guarantees his failure. [He spins on his heels and leaves before he finishes his thought.]
[He shakes his head, chucking more out of exasperation than anything else. Sure, why not trust the sonic? It's the apocalypse, what's he got to lose, really?
He quirks a brow at the "it's a trap" idea, though, because it doesn't make much sense to him... But before he's had time to process that, the Doctor's already moving on, claiming that he's worked out the fatal flaw in the plan that... whoever's it is that's cutting people's arms off with swords has made.
Which he of course fails to share with Cas. Heaving yet another put-upon sigh, he follows behind the Doctor, rubbing at his temples.]
And this flaw would be...?
[At least Dean tells you when he's not telling you something. With the Doctor it's like he forgets that you can't read his mind.
Wait. Can the Doctor read minds? Because that'd be dirty... Cas is going to assume not, and spare himself the ulcer.]
Tell you later, Chatty Cassy. [He gives Cas the courtesy of throwing some waves over his shoulder as the figure that is unicorn puke leaves the clown tent.] We got work to do. [He stops in the middle of the carnival, glancing around.] If I was a psychopath, where would I hide?
[As he turns his gaze around the park, of course, the psychopath happens to be right behind him, brandishing a sword (suck it Cas!).]
[Chatty Cassy? That's a new one. He's gonna let it slide though, there's no point in complaining about it, not with the Doctor.
He continues to follow him, more than a little uncomfortable when they wind up out in the open, right in the middle of the grounds. Because that's safe.]
If I was a psychopath, I'd look for the morons with no cover.
[Which, funnily enough, is exactly what he's done. Cas doesn't think twice, he pulls his pistol out and fires twice, the first shot missing and the second shot catching him in the leg. Of fucking course. Doesn't even slow him down, he lurches toward the Doctor without so much as a limp.]
[Reflexively, the Doctor lifts up his sonic screwdriver. As the whine becomes increasingly more high-pitched, the psychopath freezes in his tracks, the sword in midair.] Cas! You know my policy on guns! Although I don't like them, if you're going to use one, SHOOT STRAIGHT!
[He turns to face the killer, surprised. A smile slowly forms on his face.] Eh, looky that -- it's Auton!
And you know my policy on dying- been there, done that, no fucking thank you. [Not that he'd done an especially good job of it, but he'd been trying to keep that guy from getting any closer. Forgive his horrible lapse in judgment, Doctor.
He apparently needn't have bothered though; the killer is frozen as soon as the Doctor lifts his thingamajig... And now the Doctor is smiling at the guy, what-]
You know this.... Person?
[He isn't even sure it is a person, there's something off about it...]
No, an Auton. This bloke's name is actually King Arthur, though he's not really King Arthur 'cause King Arthur wouldn't cut a woman's arm off. [The Doctor stands on his toes to look closely at the Auton.] I don't know why he's here though...
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Excuse the Doctor as he's utterly enraptured by the clown's wardrobes at the current moment.]
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I can't believe these things never go bad... [When he gets no response, he turns around and finds... The Doctor, disappearing behind a booth full of what would appear to be clown clothing. He would. Sighing again, he follows.]
Anything useful?
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If there wasn't a sign over both of our heads screaming "maim us" before, there certainly is now.
[He's going to have to take the doctor's word for it and assume that there isn't anything useful here.]
I found... [Fucking twinkies. He can't even bring himself to say food, and so he doesn't.] ...Some stuff. Let's get moving, there might be something we can use over in one of the maintenance tents.
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[It falls off, a liquid quickly following suit and forming a puddle at their feet.] Tell me, Cas -- are puppets on Earth supposed to bleed?
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Fuck me.
[No reek of death, and that blood's oozing out pretty quickly... This body is obviously fresh- which is not good, not at all.]
You didn't see any axe murders when you came over here before, did you? [He has to ask, it this is the Doctor he's dealing with. For all Cas knows, there could have been an axe murdering going on right before his eyes and the Doctor'd be more interested in a clown nose or something.]
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Wasn't killed here; has traces of hay and dung in the wound, which means that... [He pauses to look at the victim's face.] She was killed outside, most likely in the stables, bleed to death. Been dead for about an hour and was moved here a few minutes ago. So Cas... [Eyebrows raised.] did you see any axe murderers when you came over here? Or, rather, sword murderers; her arm was cut off by a sword.
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[That's not even the weirdest part of this situation though. A sword...?]
A sword. You're sure?
[How the hell- No. He's not even gonna go there. Maybe he shouldn't have smoked before coming out here. Maybe he should have smoked more before coming out here.]
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[A flicker of a smile, which contrasted with the cold, hardness in his eyes, flashes across his face.] But, he didn't expect one thing. He made one grave, one dangerous mistake that guarantees his failure. [He spins on his heels and leaves before he finishes his thought.]
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He quirks a brow at the "it's a trap" idea, though, because it doesn't make much sense to him... But before he's had time to process that, the Doctor's already moving on, claiming that he's worked out the fatal flaw in the plan that... whoever's it is that's cutting people's arms off with swords has made.
Which he of course fails to share with Cas. Heaving yet another put-upon sigh, he follows behind the Doctor, rubbing at his temples.]
And this flaw would be...?
[At least Dean tells you when he's not telling you something. With the Doctor it's like he forgets that you can't read his mind.
Wait. Can the Doctor read minds? Because that'd be dirty... Cas is going to assume not, and spare himself the ulcer.]
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[As he turns his gaze around the park, of course, the psychopath happens to be right behind him, brandishing a sword (suck it Cas!).]
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He continues to follow him, more than a little uncomfortable when they wind up out in the open, right in the middle of the grounds. Because that's safe.]
If I was a psychopath, I'd look for the morons with no cover.
[Which, funnily enough, is exactly what he's done. Cas doesn't think twice, he pulls his pistol out and fires twice, the first shot missing and the second shot catching him in the leg. Of fucking course. Doesn't even slow him down, he lurches toward the Doctor without so much as a limp.]
Fuck-- We need to move now!
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[He turns to face the killer, surprised. A smile slowly forms on his face.] Eh, looky that -- it's Auton!
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He apparently needn't have bothered though; the killer is frozen as soon as the Doctor lifts his thingamajig... And now the Doctor is smiling at the guy, what-]
You know this.... Person?
[He isn't even sure it is a person, there's something off about it...]
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No, an Auton. This bloke's name is actually King Arthur, though he's not really King Arthur 'cause King Arthur wouldn't cut a woman's arm off. [The Doctor stands on his toes to look closely at the Auton.] I don't know why he's here though...
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