405. There is no armour against fate; Death lays his icy hands on kings.

[a_scarlet_devil]

(TRIGGER WARNING. This meme deals heavy with death and also possibly with strong violence or with suicide/depression. If you are not comfortable reading about that, please PLEASE do not proceed further.)

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erik lehnsherr ( xmfc )

[thouneedestme]

[will roll.]

[lehnsherrs]

4 / 2 / 2

[thouneedestme]

[you don't meet death; it comes creeping from behind you when you least expect it. for a man who's always been at the forefront practically believing himself to be invulnerable to so many things, death and disease is not one of them.

for him it was dilated cardiomyopathy. perhaps it was the strain of pushing for an image larger than life itself that finally brought him to his knees, at a state where he can barely move, let alone breathe, which he'll attribute to his mutations -- not that they're doing him a lick of good now. obviously he didn't have time to tell the right people exactly what's wrong with him. or rather: he didn't feel that he should. there are wars that are fought in the battlefield and then there are more private wars that he'd prefer to bear alone.

erik is very clearly not going to stay in this hospital bed, as evinced with the metal discreetly moving away from him in fear and trepidation as he removes the IV, the mask, the bindings upon his hands and midsection -- possibly more to stop himself from hurting others

[lehnsherrs]

[ it had been difficult to leave, but eventually she did -- for coffee, not for good. her hair is pulled up and back from her face, or it had been many hours ago, now wisps and strings escape and float around her face. she hasn't had a mind to fix it, nor her makeup which has left grey smudges around her eyes, though she's seen her reflection in the windows outside and blown smoke into it rather than judge it too critically. perhaps she should go home, shower, be more presentable for her brother but frankly she's looked so much worse, she's been the sick one before, and it didn't matter then. it doesn't matter now

[thouneedestme]

Leaving.

[that goddamned -- cape -- why is it so difficult to put on. and at this point erik is having difficulties breathing, more or less, but he is resolute at what he intends to do. he is not staying in this goddamned room, neither will he die here, unless he can't help it.]

I can't bear this. I can't --

[lehnsherrs]

[ she's not going to watch him struggle like this, and she reaches forward to help him -- put on his cape, not back into bed. ]

Let me get you a wheelchair, then.

[ a bit of sharpness there, that he should do something foolish like this. ]

[thouneedestme]

[he bites out,]

No.

[and he would've yelled at her if he had the strength. the cape drops uselessly from his hand and onto the floor and the moment the word leaves his mouth, a million metal utensils rise to his command within the room, tense, ready to strike her in case she moves.

his mind is a stream of awful memory and regret playing in high definition behind his eyes and god, his anger. it can't be doing anything good to his heart, but he can feel it beating faster and trying to kill him like the traitorous engine that it was.]

[lehnsherrs]

[ it's a sharp, decisive sound of brief metal scrapes and judith freezes, taking her hands off him. she looks around at the weapons, poised and hovering, at the closed door with its wide window, and then back at erik. her face is drawn, her voice both scolding and scared. ]

Stop this.

[thouneedestme]

Then leave me, if you know what's best for you.

[a clipped, raspy voice comes out of his throat, magneto crawling out of erik's too-worn body in order to take control of things he's let slip through his tired fingers.]

[lehnsherrs]

[ she always knows what's best for her, and being alone is often at the top of that list, so she understands the frustration, the humiliation. leaving would be easier than trusting he won't hurt her. coming back to an empty bed, however, would be unbearable. ]

Do you think it's me I care about right now?

[thouneedestme]

[he spares a glance at her, and then decides, he could leave whenever he wants to. really. being alone is hardly any different from how he first started this crusade.

he leaves the cape on the floor and walks, slowly, but with head held high, out to the door, metal floating around him like a sphere.]

[lehnsherrs]

[ she picks up his cape regardless -- it is his, and she doesn't think he'll be returning here, not of his own will and she won't confine him. her immediate concerns are making sure he gets where he wants to go (out of this building and beyond that, she doesn't know) without hurting anyone or himself. she follows him into the hallway; nurses and aides press their backs to the wall or retreat behind doors, and some just stare with mouths agape. a woman in white at the nurse's station seems to snap out of her stupor and begins to frantically dial the phone. judith glares at her warningly. ]

Don't do that.

[ she opens her mouth to speak, the receiver held in her hand simply hovering. ]

Judith Lehnsherr, I'm checking my brother out. Good day.

[ her gaze and tone implies it won't be if the other woman -- ruth, how comical -- makes a stupid decision. ruth swallows, then concedes; judith, enough time wasted, leaves her and the others and walks off briskly in the direction erik left. ]

[thouneedestme]

[erik stumbles, breathes hard, leans against the walls as he walks out. he's quickly finding that it's very difficult to move when your engine refuses to burn in order for the stupid, ridiculous sack of meat you carry yourself in to move for you.

his abilities fluctuate with the palpitations of his heart; the metals tremble in the air, threatening to lash out as he angrily powers through the sterile halls and out.]

[lehnsherrs]

[ the urge is there to go forward and support him, but the quivering metal keeps her at bay. her eyes prick with tears, her hand covering her mouth when he falters, but she doesn't say a thing. this is not how it should be; he is too strong for this, and it's a cruel fate to die by a weak heart, when weak-hearted is the furthest from what he is. ]

[thouneedestme]

[many times erik stumbles, but he just picks himself up again, after stopping and catching his breath, before moving again. too many times a doctor, a nurse, or one of the orderlies will try to move in between the metal and restrain him; they are met with a rain of scalpels and lacerated violently. erik doesn't take too kindly to being captured, nor caged. too many bad memories. too many ghosts in one room. one ghost who will forever follow him to the grave, that's where he's at. god, the things that he's seen, and the things that have been carved on his skin.

he has to leave before the cops are called in and they find him, and perhaps judith as well, who has been walking in his shadow, too afraid to look behind her and turn back.

he feels and walks a whole lot lighter moving outside the glass doors and into the open, out into the chilly night.]

[meanttobemutant]