Definitely a tough situation, and poor little youngest daughter. *hugs you all*
One of my good friends married a creep as a big "FU" to her dad, and has stuck with him through his being convicted of a crime, cheating on her, repeatedly abusing her trust, and spending beyond their means. They have two daughters, and hearing the stupid things her stupid husband does and says around them makes me weep for all girls who are growing up thinking that's what they can expect from a man. Is it any wonder they both latched on to Mr. 42 within minutes of meeting them?
Here's hoping that B and your friend eventually come to their senses if not for their sakes, but for the sakes of the kids. It is so hard to watch. *hugs you*
I'm doubtful that he'll ever have the balls to do anything about it. He's not the type... He too resigned. I think that was what hurt for us the most, he won't just do it for his kids or himself, and they all deserve so much better. I can't save them though, it isn't my place.
This post just makes my heart hurt so badly for B, A, and O. And I've seen this so many times. For some reason, it seems so many of the absolutely wonderful guys take up with women, well, like K.
Everything B wants in a marriage? Are things I want, too. That is my ideal, but I refuse to settle for anything less. Which is why I don't mind that I'm "getting older" but haven't found the right person yet. When the time is right, I'll find the one. I've seen it happen so many times. Someone marries young for the sake of being married, and things get worse as the years go on. I'd rather not marry until I'm in my 100s than marry a jerkface.
Is it wrong I want to ride in on a white horse, scoop up B and the kids, and take them home with me? XD I'll love them!
Then again, I'm not tall or blonde or going to win any physical beauty contests. If only the physical reflected the soul. *sigh*
I'm so sorry you have to stand by and see this happen. *megahugs*
Me too! I want to save them all. My husband's friends have always been my boys. I mothered them outrageously when we were in college. I was the only girlfriend that welcomed the group of friends as a whole. I was happy that my man had such a tight-knit group of friends to rely on. Personally, I loved that he could spend time with people that both shared interests and supported him. All the other girls/eventual wives (K included) would try and stop their time together. Stupid really - they played games (both video or board) and soccer regularly. It isn't like they were getting drunk and womanizing together... nor did they ever spend an excessive amount of time away from the family. *sigh*
How could I not love them all dearly? How could she not?
I just want to scoop him and his boys up and make it all better for them, but I know it isn't my job. :( This is his life and these are his choices. I just have to smile and be his friend when he needs one, and vent in a way that doesn't affect my rl.
It was frightening for her but it is a part of life, realising that not all people at the same and sometimes people can be mean. As my husband often say, "Our kids don't know how easy they have it." I grew up in a series of seriously fucked up marriages and know intimately what verbal abuse does to a person. My husband's family wasn't to bad but his parents certainly had some anger issues-epic shouting matches I'm told. They've mellowed in their old age
( ... )
That poor guy-and those poor kids. They so deserve better than this.
And perhaps one day he'll even realize that there are options that don't involve staying with his abusive wife. I know that you've said that he's too resigned, so I realize that it's highly unlikely, but sometimes people can surprise you.
He could. There is always hope and he is surrounded by lots of friends who would support him should he make that choice. It is well known (unspoken) truth within the group that K isn't a nice person.
Point in case: About a week before they came K got into a facebook argument with another of the boys(from their college group of friends). *cringe* He made a comment about how the chicken sandwiches that he made at his house would not suppress the rights of the gay community (in reference to Chick-fil-a). That was it! She exploded on him, about how he was being judgmental and a bigot. We all sat around and cringed as she made a fool of herself. The friend who she was attacking tried to be tactful and steer her back into safer facebook waters but she wouldn't be deterred. We were all really embarrassed that she would behave like that. I had to make my husband promise not to respond - she was coming to stay with us in a few days and the last thing we needed was a fresh argument with her! :)
Now this is just my opinion, but I think spanking in anger, and especially the 'spanking until you do it' might border abuse, even if it is just emotional. I am one of those *gasp* who occassionally spank my kids...but you don't spank over and over again, and definately not in anger.
I would almost wonder if the wife has issues with depression to be honest. To lose your cool so quickly just screams depression to me.
I am not making excuses for her, I promise. But it seems that more is wrong than just being wrong for each other (which btw...it sounds like they should never have gotten married).
Normally I am a big fan of marriage counseling, but both parties have to want it, and just from reading between the lines...I bet she wouldn't go for it. But in many instances, divorce is better for the children then the parents staying married unhappily.
I'm so sorry for your friend, and I hope things get better for him!
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One of my good friends married a creep as a big "FU" to her dad, and has stuck with him through his being convicted of a crime, cheating on her, repeatedly abusing her trust, and spending beyond their means. They have two daughters, and hearing the stupid things her stupid husband does and says around them makes me weep for all girls who are growing up thinking that's what they can expect from a man. Is it any wonder they both latched on to Mr. 42 within minutes of meeting them?
Here's hoping that B and your friend eventually come to their senses if not for their sakes, but for the sakes of the kids. It is so hard to watch. *hugs you*
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Everything B wants in a marriage? Are things I want, too. That is my ideal, but I refuse to settle for anything less. Which is why I don't mind that I'm "getting older" but haven't found the right person yet. When the time is right, I'll find the one. I've seen it happen so many times. Someone marries young for the sake of being married, and things get worse as the years go on. I'd rather not marry until I'm in my 100s than marry a jerkface.
Is it wrong I want to ride in on a white horse, scoop up B and the kids, and take them home with me? XD I'll love them!
Then again, I'm not tall or blonde or going to win any physical beauty contests. If only the physical reflected the soul. *sigh*
I'm so sorry you have to stand by and see this happen. *megahugs*
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How could I not love them all dearly? How could she not?
I just want to scoop him and his boys up and make it all better for them, but I know it isn't my job. :( This is his life and these are his choices. I just have to smile and be his friend when he needs one, and vent in a way that doesn't affect my rl.
Thanks for the hugs.
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And perhaps one day he'll even realize that there are options that don't involve staying with his abusive wife. I know that you've said that he's too resigned, so I realize that it's highly unlikely, but sometimes people can surprise you.
*hugs*
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Point in case: About a week before they came K got into a facebook argument with another of the boys(from their college group of friends). *cringe* He made a comment about how the chicken sandwiches that he made at his house would not suppress the rights of the gay community (in reference to Chick-fil-a). That was it! She exploded on him, about how he was being judgmental and a bigot. We all sat around and cringed as she made a fool of herself. The friend who she was attacking tried to be tactful and steer her back into safer facebook waters but she wouldn't be deterred. We were all really embarrassed that she would behave like that. I had to make my husband promise not to respond - she was coming to stay with us in a few days and the last thing we needed was a fresh argument with her! :)
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Now this is just my opinion, but I think spanking in anger, and especially the 'spanking until you do it' might border abuse, even if it is just emotional. I am one of those *gasp* who occassionally spank my kids...but you don't spank over and over again, and definately not in anger.
I would almost wonder if the wife has issues with depression to be honest. To lose your cool so quickly just screams depression to me.
I am not making excuses for her, I promise. But it seems that more is wrong than just being wrong for each other (which btw...it sounds like they should never have gotten married).
Normally I am a big fan of marriage counseling, but both parties have to want it, and just from reading between the lines...I bet she wouldn't go for it. But in many instances, divorce is better for the children then the parents staying married unhappily.
I'm so sorry for your friend, and I hope things get better for him!
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