it's like the opposite of Jenga

[meiface]

Having been watching Running Man nonstop over the weekend, I've been immersed in the general-Asian-culture specific-Korean-culture attitudes towards social hierarchies and the carefully delineated relationships of respect between people of different ages, or between people who essentially "came first" and "came later". Much of the older-sibling/

Comments

[acornmama]

I think that what you describe here is one of the main reasons for the addiction that kpop and all it brings (dramas, variety shows, movies, etc..) No matter where you come from that sense of structure? of knowing who you are and where you belong in that structure is very tempting.

I agree that it is a case of the grass looking greener, and while I don't know how it is from the Asian American perspective, I suspect it is a case of this on both sides of the fence.

[meiface]

It seems so welcoming in its own way, doesn't it? But yeah, in the end I do think it's always a matter of grass being greener on the other side and us wanting what we don't have. I wonder if they ever want something else, or if they've just never questioned it and can't imagine it being different.

[acornmama]

I always tend to think that it must be that way. Once the stars fall from my eyes and I stop seeing just the prettiness and stop romanticizing everything

[forochel]

hmmm ... I call my brother "gorgor" and my soul just shrivels up when I think about calling my brother by his name. and there is a senpai/kouhai relationship extant in Singaporean schools, I think? or at least the ones I went to, which were admittedly very traditionally 'Chinese' - cheena. also I get REALLY MAD (kind of jokingly but ... also kind of not) at my younger cousin when she doesn't call me 'biu jie' or add that on the end of 'Michelle'. ...lol now I feel like something out of a period drama.

personal musing aside, I know what you mean about the comfort of having a distinct place and structure!! it's kind of like a sonnet. though probably not if you're really low down in that structure. so I suppose that's where the human rights thing comes in ... if you were entitled to protection by pure dint of your position in that hierarchy, though, would that also be comforting, or taking away your agency, or both? I don't know. maybe a measure of flexibility within that structure? now I really want to write fic exploring that...

[meiface]

Oh man, I once wanted my brother to call me "jiejie" because my friend's little sister (they're nine years apart too) calls her that. Except then it totally weirded me out ugh. So we stick with names. I think it really is just what we grow up used to, because while in that aspect I'm pretty Westernized, I still can't imagine calling my parents' friends anything but "shushu" and "ahyi". Calling adults by their names, as Americans do? SO AWKWARD.

So at least for me, everything is sort of mixed bag of Chinese and American influences, and I always wonder what it's like to grow up in solely one culture instead of a mix of two. I wonder, but I don't necessarily think it would've been better, in the end. I do think I've benefited from my hyphenated-culture experience, lol, but you know, like the commenter above said: grass is always greener on the other side, etc.

I always support writing of fic! Especially by other people.