sometimes I turn off my capslock & use multisyllabic words: shocker, I know

[meiface]

I was chatting with swingingstars today and she linked me to this advertisement by The Economist, purportedly for women:

Comments

[acornmama]

I grew up in an all female family that simply got it done. I am always astounded by the notion that men are more successful or better because they don't use their emotions. I have seen women subscribe to this theory, to try and blend in to "a man's world" to be taken seriously

[meiface]

Ha, in my family we're kind of the stereotypes regarding emotion: my mom and I are really emotional, my dad is super stoic and not up to all this touchy-feely emotional-sharing crap. But college and law school and generally growing up and growing aware of these issues helps me have better perspective on the world around us and how much of it is tailored to help men succeed, or define success by things that come more naturally to them. And then women who try to subscribe to that success structure are called "cold" or "emotionally unavailable" or worse names, like they're failures at being women simply because they've suddenly crossed the stream of gender norms, oh no!

It's all really, really interesting! Albeit often frustrating or anger-inducing or depressing.

But thanks for sharing your perspective! I sometimes wonder what it'd be like to grow up in an environment like that and how it'd change my world outlook. And thanks for the book rec too!

[acornmama]

Please understand that I am the oddball out in my family. They all generally think of success on society's terms and I ... I am the one that just never caught on to that ... My cousins are lawyers and doctors and insurance underwriters. I see the struggle all the time to choose between being "emotional" and being business like and trying to figure out how to balance the two.
I am currently a full time mom and a doula, a crafter, and a reader, no certifications or degrees. The one that they all shake their heads about. It all comes down to how you personally define success. At the end of the day no one can live your life for you and you can't be happy living someone else's dream(s). What makes you happy? What will you be satisfied with? How will you eat, sleep and enjoy yourself? What will you fight for? and What will you do to make it all happen?
What is your definition of success?

[acornmama]

And IMHO it is not that these things come more naturally to men, but it is the mold they tell themselves they have to fit, and nothing they see tells them otherwise. It is a hard habit to break.

[hoyah]

you put it perfectly :| if there was a similar ad for men (or hell, the same ad, i think that would actually be interesting) it would at least establish the economist as setting men and women off on equal ground. except by having only an ad for women, the economist seems to be demonstrating just how uneven the balance already is. yet again, women are singled out in comparison to the norm of society - men. :/

[meiface]

Yeah, way to go about trying to address a gender imbalance in the worst possible way. With, you said it, men being the standard of the norm. It's everywhere!

[herocountry]

http://www.good.is/post/why-should-women-read-the-economist/

this is a really good article about it!

[meiface]

That was a really a good post! aksldf that attitude by that dude, god. "It's called The Economist," he replied. "It's like Maxim for nerds."

Like, duh, of course the magazine has masculine content, because we're written by and for guys, and if you find it weird it's because you're a woman. Sucks to be you!

Yes, that really makes me want to read it. Oh wait, it's probably because I'm not sufficiently "influential and accomplished".

[nyw]

Actually, when I thought about the first ad, I thought it actually was targeting women who wanted to be successful and influential, because they are the ones who would be most likely to say 'screw this shit, my priorities are mutually exclusive from my gender' and therefore will still read The Economist. In short I saw the ad as a challenge.

Doesn't change the kinds of social issues at hand, but just pointing out the targeted marketing aspect of it.

[meiface]

Yeah, I get that message, sort of, but I don't think it's any better a message, because it still says to me: women are by default not successful and influential, but the ones who are will of course be drawn to The Economist (which is predominantly masculine in terms of not just readership but apparently also writers and content).

The challenge is to be different from the other women, who are silly and frivolous. Read a REAL magazine, with content that will challenge you. "Real" here being again defined by men, as the higher standard that most women do not meet.

I mean, the point is, they don't have an ad that says: HEY MEN. DON'T READ THE ECONOMIST. UNLESS YOU'RE INFLUENTIAL AND ACCOMPLISHED. They chose to direct this ad to women for a reason.

[intomorning]

I saw this ad on Tumblr and couldn't believe it. I think the intended message flew by me because at first, I thought the message was more like: "Hey, women, don't read this because only accomplished people read this, and obviously you're not accomplished at all." >:( Ugh, who thought this was a good idea?

Re: Foursquare, the first thing I thought of when I read that excerpt was Schrodinger's Rapist. E.g., some men might not think it's a big deal to hit on women, but to some women, it IS because a guy might be True Love waiting to happen or someone who's extremely harmful and creepy. Like, yeah, competing for badges sounds fun but not really at the possible expense of safety.

I read that article, too a while ago and it made me realize that a lot of the compliments I gave to my students were: "Oh, you look so cute today!" or "I like what you're wearing", etc. I don't think I've completely kicked the habit, but I'm trying to ask more about their day and what they're interested in.

If only the film would screen in DC at some point...

[meiface]

It had DC screenings earlier! But none slated for the future, I see. D:

Yes, Schrodinger's Rapist is really applicable to the Foursquare thing; I thought of it too. We have security concerns as women that men don't have because we don't know if that guy is a rapist or not. So better safe than sorry: don't announce your location. Such is our world...