The Realisations of Apocalypses

[meh_forget_it]

Title: The Realisations of Apocalypses, According to Castiel, Angel of Thursday and Temperance.
Author:Meh_Forget_It
Fandoms: Supernatural
Warnings: Randomness, insanity, inappropriately placed humour, teeny bit of angst, strong language...
Spoilers: If you know who Gabriel is then you’re good to go!
Rating: R
Summary: So Michael and Gabriel have decided to join Team Free Will, and if Gabriel has any say, that name is the first thing to go. But what’s the real reason for their change of mind?
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this.
Characters/Pairing: Dean, Castiel, Sam, Gabriel, Michael (preslash Dean/Castiel and Gabriel/Michael/Sam)
Status: Complete
Word Count: ~ 4,800 words
Notes: Starts with Castiel’s point of view, Sam’s in the middle, ends with Cas’ again. Confused? You will be. Read on! Oh! And it follows on from The Problem with Apocalypses (Dean POV) and The Trouble with Apocalypses (Sam’s POV). Please do note how it becomes apparent that the last two parts of this used up my angst quota. *snort*

Also, this is for wolfish_willow because she left an awesome comment for me when I was somewhat… lucid enough to read it. It cheered me up, so I promised her this as thanks! *nods* Hope it doesn’t disappoint.

Emotion

Castiel felt he’d been around humans (or at least, Sam and Dean) long enough to begin to understand some of their ways, if not most of their ways. In fact, he would be slightly unwilling to admit that he was beginning to understand their emotions enough to actually start experiencing them. Which worried him, given that just showed him how close to falling he actually was.

Which was why he understood that the emotion he was currently feeling as he watched his two highest superiors and eldest brothers fuss over Sam Winchester. He was confused. And possibly disturbed given that Sam seemed both resigned to the fact but also seemingly knew that handing Michael the plastic stick Castiel recalled Sam using with his computer several times in the past, whenever Michael began to get a little too… stifling.

What confused him, though, wasn’t the behaviour of his brothers (though admittedly, that was confusing enough, enough so that Dean had given up and had hit the bottle about an hour back. No, what confused Castiel was the burning sensation he was getting in his chest. He would have assumed it was indigestion if he knew his vessel ever suffered from it (and he’d eaten something to cause it in the first place), but he knew it wasn’t the case. He was fairly certain he did know what the cause was.

Castiel was jealous.

And he was confused about why.

Sam woke up from the first night of peaceful sleep that he’d had in a long time, feeling warm, rested and kinda smothered. Which perturbed him a little. He had no clue why he’d be feeling smothered. And he didn’t mean in the mental sense of days long since past when Dean cared about him and mothered him to the point that Sam was ready to shoot Dean in the foot just to give him something else to worry over. The kind of smothered he was feeling was the literal sense. As in, someone had placed something really heavy on his chest.

Breathing was becoming an issue. Which sucked, because other than that, Sam was more comfy than he’d ever been and really didn’t want to have to move. However, quite rightly, his body felt the need to remind him that breathing was somewhat more important than comfort. So Sam opened his eyes.

And gasped.

Which really sort of hurt, given his lungs had were under a little duress at the moment, and made black spots appear in his vision. Sam quickly blinked to try and get rid of them, he then looked back down to what had caused him to gasp in the first place.

“Dean?” Dean stiffened where he lay pretty much on top of Sam, before he slowly sat up on the bed and looked down at Sam, who was too stunned to actually move. Which was his downfall, given the moment Dean shifted, Sam was free game to hyper angels that clearly felt their need to make up for inadvertently causing people to slit their wrists, by hugging them to death instead. “Ack! Mi-can’t-wh-?”

“Mikey, humans need to breathe, bro.” Gabriel pointed out calmly from where he’d been trying (and failing) to teach Castiel poker for the last four hours. Gabriel accepted that he’d failed, but couldn’t quite understand how he’d still lost every game in the last three hours.

“Sam! I’m so sorry, right! I didn’t mean it! But you had a good sleep, yeah? I didn’t feel Lucy try to get in, so I felt that it was all okay. And I helped sooth the one nightmare that you started to have. Do you feel rested now? Should we let you go back to sleep? You haven’t been gettin’ an awful lot recently, have you?” Michael said all in one breath (ignoring that he didn’t breathe), and Sam blinked. Blinked again. Then finally grasped most of what had been said to him.

“I’m… yeah, I had a good sleep. The best in a long while actually, thank you.” Sam said, concentrating on the beaming angel for the time being and not trying to wonder why he’d woken to Dean on top of him like they were kids again, and had to share a bed. Sam glanced to the side and saw another bed, meaning that they didn’t have to share a bed. And clearly Sam failed at ignoring anything.

Sighing, Sam turned to look at Dean in confusion, before ducking his head and looking at his lap, not too sure he wanted to see what Dean was feeling in regards to him. Given he was alive, Dean hadn’t tried to smother him in his sleep (in the bad, pillow over his face, maniacal laughter way). That was a bonus.

“Sammy…” Dean trailed off, but with that one word, Sam’s head snapped up to look at Dean in shock, and he felt a small smile appear. He’d actually missed being called Sammy, hadn’t realised just what the name meant to him when coming from Dean.

“I’m sorry.” Sam blurted out, picking at the sleeves of the hoodie he was still wearing.

“What for, Sam?” Dean asked, sounding confused and Sam had no idea how to answer that loaded question. What was he sorry for? The demon blood, the apocalypse, almost killing himself, dying in the first place and causing Dean to make the damned deal that started this whole thing. Really, there wasn’t an awful lot Sam wasn’t sorry for by this point.

Sam just settled for shrugging, not quite ready to voice everything going through his head, though well aware that Gabriel and Michael could probably hear his thoughts.

“Yeah, we can, and we’ll be having a lovely chat about them too, have no fear, Sammy.” Sam glanced over at Gabriel, who was smirking at him, and narrowed his eyes, mentally telling him to stay out of his head. “No can do, Sammykins!”

“Don’t call me that.” Sam muttered, though there wasn’t an awful lot of fire behind it. Give him time to wake up, and he may shoot Gabriel the next time he called him it though.

“That’s not very nice, Sammy- Sam! It hurts to get shot!” Gabriel whined, and Sam felt another smile twitch at his lips, trying to show when he heard Gabriel cut himself off from calling him ‘Sammykins’.

“Am I the only one wondering if Gabriel is on Acid?” Dean asked aloud, making Sam realise that a) no one could hear his half the conversation he was having with Gabriel (with the possible exception of Michael, who was humming quietly beside him, playing with Sam’s hair) and that b) Sam had been in the process of straying dangerously close to a Chick Flick moment with Dean. Or a French New Wave moment, Sam was feeling like things were becoming a little surreal.

“No one’s speaking French.” Gabriel pointed out, making Sam grit his teeth, Castiel tilt his head (parrot-style), Dean to just sigh explosively, and Michael to perk up.

“I can speak French! Sort of.”

“Gallic doesn’t count, Michael.” Gabriel pointed out, whilst Sam silently admitted defeat with regards to keeping Gabriel out of his head.

“Sam…” Dean sighed, clearly having had enough of Gabriel’s one-sided (possibly Acid induced) conversation and returning to his and Sam’s previous conversation. Joy.

“Dean… I’m not gonna accept Lucifer’s offer, you know.” Sam said quietly, and Dean huffed, muttered something under his breath about girly brothers before yanking Sam into a hug that actually made Sam give a small ‘yip’ of shock.

“I know, Sammy. I’m sorry too. For all the shit I’ve been putting your through. I’m not asking for forgiveness, just as you’re not, but can we just… I dunno, can we put all this shit to one side and concentrate on kicking Lucifer’s ass and stopping this damned Apocalypse thing?” Dean muttered into Sam’s neck, whilst Sam just clung to Dean, taking the comfort whilst it was freely offered. Who knew when the next time Dean was kidnapped by pod-people and showed affection would be (Sam steadfastly ignored the snigger from Gabriel).

“Okay, Dean.” Sam finally answered softly, knowing that as soon as he did, Dean would let go and go back to being the manliest man to ever exist. Sam ignored the snicker from Gabriel at that thought, though his lips did start twitching when Gabriel then began to hum ‘Macho Man’. Dean jerked back from Sam and spun round to glare at Gabriel.

“Dude, we never mention this moment ever again.” Dean demanded once he’d turned back to look at Sam, who was once again getting petted by Michael. Sam batted at the angel’s hands feebly, but sighed when Michael just shifted to play with the hair on the back of Sam’s head.

“Agreed.” Sam said, smiling slightly at Dean and feeling as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders (as well as his chest, Dean was not light).

“Good, so… what’s with Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Spaz?” Dean finally asked, indicating which archangel was which with a jerk of his thumb, Michael just blinked at him blankly when Dean referred to him as a Spaz.

“Wasn’t it dum? I’m sure it was Dum. Lewis Carroll was an odd fellow, anyway. Didn’t believe a word I told him when I said that Dinah was a ridiculous name for a kitten. I mean, who on Earth would call their cat Dinah?” Michael asked, and Sam glanced over at Gabriel to see what they were supposed to do about Michael. Gabriel however, just rolled his eyes, groaned and shifted to let his head drop on to the table with a bang.

“I believe I have beaten you again, Gabriel.” Castiel said, speaking for the first time since Sam had woken up, and making Gabriel groan again and fling his wallet, which he’d made appear with a click, at Castiel.

“I hate brothers.” Gabriel muttered and Sam snorted, whilst Dean just remained looking perpetually confused and Castiel began to take money out of Gabriel’s wallet.

“Um…” Sam felt that was pretty much all he could say to that. Really, there was nothing else he could say.

“Can we answer my question instead of trying to confuse us all? And stop trying to beat Cas at poker. He may not see the point, but his poker face will beat everyone’s.” Dean added to Gabriel, who snorted mirthlessly, sound muffled by his arms covering his head.

“Tell me about it. He wins even when I can read his damned mind. Playing poker, and cheating by reading their mind, with someone who has no idea what they’re actually doing doesn’t work.” Gabriel muttered sullenly and Sam suddenly had the overwhelming urge to giggle hysterically at how surreal his life had suddenly become. “I think we’ve broken Sam.”

“Sammy?”

“Dean… Castiel’s playing poker and winning, I have an archangel braiding my hair, and another one is sulking because he’s losing at poker. I think I’ve gone insane.” Sam whispered to Dean, who just shrugged.

“You made friends with the Archangel duo. Castiel was fine without them.” Dean pointed out, and Sam sighed before he dropped his head into his hands.

“Dean’s right, you told me last night that you’d explain what you came here for when I woke up.” Sam pointed out once he’d decided to just go with the flow and dance with Dali… so to speak.

“I could make that-“

“No! Just answer my question. No making me dance with dead artists!” Sam exclaimed, getting weird looks from Dean, Castiel and Michael.

“Dude… I don’t wanna know.” Dean decided with a shake of his head, before he looked at Michael, deciding Gabriel was clearly a lost cause. Though Sam wondered what Dean was on to decide that. “So? Why are you here?”

“Well, Loki felt guilty about what you’d said and I was bored. Sam is also interestin’ to me. We decided that we would find you three and agree to help you, you know?” Michael explained simply with a shrug, going back to plaiting Sam’s hair, which made the tall hunter sigh in exasperation. Clearly he was never going to be given a break in life.

“Wait, so you’re signing up for almost certain death for the pure reason that you’re bored and Sam is interesting?” Dean asked dully, deadpan look on his face that made Sam snicker before he coughed to cover it.

“Hey! Archangels and gods!! We have tricks up the sleeves of tricks! And Michael actually does have a working TARDIS. Though it only works should one of us be in it and take it to the past/future with us… nor can we visit non-existent planets.”

“It’s not all that bigger on the inside, either.” Michael pointed out sullenly, and Sam finally gave up the fight and began to giggle hysterically. “Sam?”

“Er…” Gabriel paused in going to stand when Dean turned to glare venomously at him, making his sit back down in his seat heavily.

“You, fix Sam. And make your insane brother stop braiding Sammy’s hair. Also, whilst you’re at it, what have you done to Cas?” Dean demanded, looking at the (perhaps not unusually) silent angel, who was, Sam noticed, just watching them all with wide eyes, which Sam hadn’t actually noticed just how blue they were.

“Huh.”

“Yeah.”

“Stop with the freakish half conversations!” Dean shouted in frustration and Sam flinched minutely, having not realised that he and Gabriel actually were seemingly communicating partly with Sam’s thoughts. Which was weird.

“Sorry, Dean.” Sam muttered, looking back at the cover over his legs once more and picking at his sleeves, hair covering his face. He heard Dean sigh before he sat back down on the bed.

“Nothing to be sorry over, Sammy. Look, this has all just been too weird even for our lives. All I want to know is what the hell is going to happen now. You said you were bored so you hunted us down, which should have been impossible by the way, so can I assume you actually had a plan beyond finding us and freaking us out?” Dean asked, frustration clearly evident in his voice by now, which made Sam feel guilty and nudge Dean’s thigh with his toes to somehow try and sooth him a little. He didn’t know how being prodded by your little brother’s toes would help do anything other than exacerbate a situation, but Dean visibly relaxed a little, so clearly Dean was a freak.

“Could have told you that, Sammy.” Gabriel said, because apparently he really just couldn’t help himself from listening in on Sam’s thoughts and then answering every thought he wished. Sam secretly (or not so, as the case clearly was) thought it was because he enjoyed pissing Dean off with his random, one-sided conversations he was seemingly having. “Partly.”

“Stop it.” Sam said, only to realise that Dean and Castiel had both said the same thing at the same time as him, making Gabriel blink before snickering.

“Surround sound scolding.”

“I would appreciate if one of you were to answer Dean’s enquiry.” Castiel said, finally speaking up from where he seemed to be counting his winnings. If those were hundred dollar bills, Sam figured Castiel could buy breakfast, lunch and dinner for the rest of the month. Or possibly year.

Gabriel’s put upon sigh and Michael finally letting go of Sam’s hair pulled Sam from his thoughts quicker than most things would have.

“Fine, no, we don’t really have a plan, per se. We know some things, a little of this, a little of that. And hopefully, if we work together, then we may be able to-“

“Bake a cake?” Sam asked, before slapping his hands over his mouth. Clearly when he had been healed, Gabriel had roofied him or something. Dean looked at Sam with barely hidden amusement, whilst Michael began to snicker silently behind him.

“No, but that is an idea for later, Sammy-boy. Now, as I was saying, we don’t have a concrete plan on how to stop Lucifer, but well… two archangels on your side can’t be a bad thing, right?” Gabriel pointed out, and Sam glanced at Dean before looking at Castiel and tilting his head in question.

“Cas? What do you think?” Sam asked, making Dean look from between his brother and his angel. Because, let’s face it, if Castiel was to belong to someone, Sam figured it’d be Dean. Sam was all up for that, he certainly didn’t want to own an angel. It’d be like owning a comet. Bound to end with a bang and a headache.

In the very least.

“I think… we should give them a chance.” Castiel finally said, and Dean twisted round to look at Castiel so quickly, that Sam swore he heard something click.

“We should?” Dean asked, and Sam was going to use that high-pitched question as ammunition against his older brother for years to come. Who’s the girl now, Dean-ah. Or Dinah... Dean could be a cat.

“I believe we do not really have any other choice, Dean. We are possibly not losing, but we most certainly are not winning by this point. We are fighting against both Heaven and Hell, having the Archangel’s Michael and Gabriel backing us may be exactly what will he-“ Castiel stopped when Gabriel interrupted him with a cough, whilst Michael shifted uncomfortably on his seat by Sam’s bed.

“Aeron and Loki, actually.” Gabriel muttered, drawing invisible patterns on the table with his fingers.

“What?” Dean asked, whilst Castiel did his impeccable parrot impression and Sam just felt lost. Which really was beginning to feel too familiar.

“We’d prefer to go incognito for the time being. We’re not the only gods out there and well… Christianity isn’t exactly flavour of the month, you know? So, should anyone actually care to ask, could you refer to us as Aeron and Loki, please?” Michael asked, and clearly either he and Gabriel were having a mental conversation, they’d spent so long together that they’d merged minds or they’d planned that part of everything.

Sam needed to never attempt to kill himself again, it made his thoughts random, odd and paranoid. In that order.

“Okay… so we just, what? Claim that two gods from completely different religions and countries, just decided to up and help us in a war that has nothing to do with them in the slightest?” Dean asked, and Sam was actually a little impressed with his thought process.

“Er… yes?” Michael said, and Sam narrowed his eyes when Gabriel shifted nervously in his seat.

“No you don’t, what are you planning?” Sam asked, given that he was the only one that had been watching Gabriel, Castiel and Dean preferring to look at Michael instead.

“Well… Loki thought that… you see the thing is… We…” Michael kept trailing off, before he apparently gave up and gave Gabriel a look that actually made Sam’s puppy dog eyes look down right malicious.

Gabriel caved within seconds, much to Sam’s hidden amusement and Dean’s not so hidden amusement, given he was snickering softly into his hand. Even Castiel looked amused at Gabriel’s lack of will against Michael.

“It doesn’t matter, what matters is that we have a backup plan should someone ask that very question, but chances are, we’ll rarely, if ever, be introduced together anyway, and by the time someone catches us all together, it’ll be time to reveal who we actually are anyway. Okay?” Gabriel said, and Sam glanced at Dean, and then at Castiel, to see what they thought about everything. Sam would admit he was beginning to get a feeling of foreboding about that backup plan, given he was almost certain it had something to do with him and how Michael apparently found him interesting.

“I don’t know…” Dean muttered, and Castiel stood from his seat, picking up his winnings as he moved around the table, given that Gabriel had suddenly looked very devious, and then moving to stand next to Sam and Dean.

“I believe we don’t have a chance in the matter. They are archangels, I am just a falling angel, with barely any grace, and you two are just humans, there isn’t really anything we can do to make them tell us.” Castiel admitted, looking a little uncomfortable with just that admission, but it made Dean stiffen in a way that reminded Sam of when Dean realised something.

“Before I fell asleep last night-“

“On me.” Sam pointed out, feeling it had to be said.

“On Sam.” Dean agreed, rolling his eyes, lips twitching with amusement. “Before that, you said Castiel wasn’t falling. That you could give him his grace back. You do that, and we won’t argue with you joining us, nor will we force you to reveal all your plans.”

Sam and Castiel gaped at Dean, which was surreal enough for Sam to consider that his life was too weird even for French New Wave. Sam was definitely straying into Surrealism. And also mentally regretting taking a Film Studies elective in his first year. Still, Sam wondered just when the epic gay angel love story between Castiel and Dean was finally going to take place. Surely Castiel got the hint about Dean’s feelings for him when Dean ignored his instincts and made a deal with two pagan gods/archangels in hiding. Maybe angel IQs were tested in a different way of intelligence than human ones. Or Castiel was a ‘special angel’. Did Heaven have Special Ed angels?

Gabriel bursting into laughter and almost falling of his chair, made Sam jerk and blush at his thoughts having been heard by someone else. An angelic someone else just made it worse and made Sam want to world to swallow him.

“What’s up with-you know what? I don’t care. So, you give Cas his grace back, and I’ll ignore every bit of my being that is screaming at me to get as far away from you two as possible. Deal?” Dean said, and Sam noticed that that word clearly made both himself and Dean uncomfortable. Deals never ended well for them.

“No deal. We were going to give Castiel his grace back whether you accepted us or not. It makes no difference to us on that matter. No angel, archangel or not, should take the grace of another angel away from them. It’s against everything we were taught.” Michael said softly, sighing and frowning as he shook his head in dismay. Sam had the sudden urge to hug the man, which was just odd and sort of freaky.

“You can give Cas his grace back, then?” Sam asked, finally feeling he could speak up, now that Dean was clearly no longer in danger of ignoring how he was raised. Well, how they both were raised, but Sam had never truly had a problem in ignoring those instincts.

“We can, might totally give our game away before we even start, but yeah, we can.” Gabriel admitted, and Sam practically beamed at them.

“That’s awesome! Cas, that’s seriously amazing!” Sam exclaimed, looking over to smile at Castiel, who sent him a small smile back in return.

“Okay, fine, so you were going to give his grace back anyways, so what do you want from us? Everybody wants something in exchange for their help, angels are no exception.” Dean said, and Sam felt himself deflate a little. Dean did have a point after all.

“We just don’t want to have to explain ourselves every minute that we are with you. All we’re asking from you is a little trust. And to allow us to teach Castiel some things that we believe he wasn’t told about when he was being trained. That’s all. Honest.” Michael implored and Sam actually felt that they should believe him. If only because he was starting to get really hungry and all this talking was giving him a headache as well.

“So you just… What?” Dean asked, and Sam sighed before he could stop himself. “Sam?”

“I think we need to accept. What if what they want to teach Castiel is something that will make all the difference in this? What if it makes Castiel feel like he can be proud of his family again? Seriously, Dean, you wanna prevent that?” Sam asked, well aware that it was a low blow, and given the wide eyed looks both of the two next to him were giving him, they clearly hadn’t expected him to say that. But really, Sam was starving. Shallow? Yes, but well, he was living proof that the road to Hell was paved with good intentions, so he figured if those intentions were selfish, they were less good. Right?

“Samuel… I appreciate what you are saying, but you do not have to accept this just for me. I no longer have a need for my brothers to accept me.” Castiel said quietly, and Sam couldn’t help but feel Castiel wasn’t saying something at the end of that. Dean just sighed and groaned under his breath.

“Dammit, Cas, Sam’s right. Fine, okay, fine. We’ll agree to you joining us, we won’t ask you about everything little thing and we’ll keep an open mind and try to learn to trust you.” Dean said, before he looked from Gabriel, to Michael and back to Gabriel, narrowing his eyes. “But! If you hurt Cas or Sam, then nothing on this earth will stop me from finding a way to kill both of you. Nothing. Understand?”

“Sure, Deano. Now that that’s sort out, shall we go get something to eat?” Gabriel asked, and Sam only barely stopped himself from cheering out loud at the suggestion.

“I’m down with that.” Sam finally said, once he felt certain he wouldn’t show just how down with that plan he was. He glanced to see that Dean and Castiel were now back in the whole exhibitionistic eye-fucking stage of the day, and rolled his eyes, before snickering. “You ready to start earning my forgiveness?”

“Sure am, Sammy! I have oodles of ideas on that front. Mikey?” Gabriel asked, pure unbridled mischief lighting his eyes as he turned to look at Michael.

“I’m in. So… shall we go get some food? I fancy custard and fishfingers.” Michael said, and Dean jerked away from Castiel to gape at the angel.

“I need a drink.” Dean finally muttered, and Sam snickered quietly, whilst Castiel placed a comforting hand on Dean’s shoulder.

“We’ll grab something on the way back. Come on.” Sam agreed and finally got up from his bed, legs shaking from fatigue, before he felt his energy return to him fully. “So, food? I’m kinda curious about fishfingers and custard too.”

“Gross, Dude.” Dean groaned, but Sam noticed that he was smiling softly as he grabbed his jacket and keys.

“Cas pays!” Sam hollered, and left the motel room, feeling positive for the first time in what seemed like a lifetime. He didn’t notice how quiet Castiel seemed, but then, neither did anyone else.

Castiel understood now. His confusion was fading, only to be replaced with discomfort over his mental discovery. He hadn’t been jealous. Well, yes, he had, but it was different than that.

Castiel, an Angel of the Lord, who wasn’t really supposed to express or feel any emotion other than love and loyalty to his Father and brothers, was jealous of his two brothers because they had come in and made their selves at home with what he deemed as his.

It wasn’t jealousy in the sense of Castiel being worried about losing Sam or Dean to either of his brothers. It was out and out hostile possessiveness he was feeling. Sam and dean were his humans. His to protect, his to love (though he shamefully would admit to himself that he possibly loved Dean in a completely different way than the brotherly love he felt for Sam) and his to watch over.

Most importantly, Sam and Dean were just his. Castiel’s. He’d fallen to protect them. He’d turned his back on Heaven to stay with them. And he wasn’t entirely sure he was ready to let any other renegade angels into his little nest.

Which was what they were. They were a family. Sam and Dean were his family. The only ones he truly had left.

They were a sort of garrison. His garrison.

And even if it was partially his idea to accept the help the two powerful archangels offered, he wasn’t entirely happy with it.

He just wasn’t too sure there was room for two more in their garrison.

In their family.

A/N - Hey, look, I did sort of manage to end it with a touch of angst! Go me! I can still spank the angst monkey! *grins* And I’ll admit, writing Castiel was kinda hard in the start of this, but then… that last bit of his just kinda came to me. He always struck me as being a tweak possessive over Dean and Sam. *snort* Don’t you agree? Lol.