Night & Day Part 2
Title: Night & Day Part 2
Authors: cgaussie and threequarterfox
Rating: PG
Warnings: This is a genderbended light hearted alternate universe sillyfic. Please enjoy.
Summary: Megamind now has to panic over just what to wear to a date with your rival. Flashy? Fancy? Smart? Casual? Spikes? Leather? Chains? It’s all so hard to decide with a wardrobe like his.
Part 1
Chapter Two: Padstow Arms
"No, don't go in there! You'll find Antoni in the arms of Margarita and you'll know the baby isn't yours!" Minion yelled at the screen as he sat on the couch, darning some holes in a cape that had been damaged in he and Megamind's last altercation with Metro Woman. Seeing how it was an 'off day' his boss had gone off in search of new shoes due to his mishap with the Evil Credit Card. This meant that the fish had a day off to do his own thing, but his 'own thing' normally involved doing things to do with his boss, which was totally natural for the little guy.
He heard the rattling rumble of the Invisible Car as it pulled into the lair and made a mental note to go about fixing the engine that was obviously still suffering the affects of Metro Woman's punishment upon it. Getting up off of the couch he began riding down the elevator that had been installed in the Lair to enable easy access to the two floors that stood above the main floor. But what he found waiting for him wasn't what he expected.
True, it was Megamind, his master and best friend, but he was standing in front of his mirror, looking at himself. He was licking his fingers and sliding them across his eyebrows, then his goatee. Then he did it again, while turning to look at himself nervously. He really did look a sight.
"Sir? Are you all right?" Minion asked as he stepped out of the elevator, feeling a little worried for is boss who had never looked so nervous before.
"Minion!" Megamind gasped, as if he hadn't even heard the clanking robot body approach. "Minion you... oh Minion, the most bizarre thing ever has just happened!"
"What is it sir? Did Metro Woman leave Metro City?" the fish asked.
"What? No! I hope not!" Megamind replied, which caused the fishes eyes to widen. "I say that because... Minion..." he stood tall and put his hands to his chest, smiling in a proud manner. "I have a date."
Minion stood there for a moment. "You're kidding." he said straight up.
"No!" Megamind grinned.
"You?" Minion asked, "Have a date?"
"Yes!" replied Megamind, still grinning.
"You, Megamind, incredibly handsome criminal genius and master of all villainy have a date. You?"
"I'm getting sick of this questioning Minion. Is it so hard to believe I have a date?" he asked, narrowing a green eye.
Minion stopped himself to think fast before answering that question. "No Sir, of course not! Why, I'm surprised you've kept women at arm’s length as long as you have, Sir. A handsome Casanova like you must be beating them back with a stick and to think that you've allowed one lucky lady through...! This is amazing!"
"That's better Minion." Megamind muttered more to himself before rounding on his reflection, eyes narrowing. "But now I am struck with the troublesome dilemma."
"Sir?" Minion asked.
"What am I going to WEAR!?" cried the alien as he rushed from the mirror and raced his way to the elevator, waiting for Minion to join him. "I have to go through my wardrobe! Something classy, but not too classy! Leather, maybe? Or should I go with a cotton jacket? Maybe a vest. A vest is fancy, am I right? Minion are my shirts pressed and ironed? What about my pants? I can't show up in jeans, or tight leather pants! Or can I wear leather pants? This is important! I also have to, have to, oh shoot it was just in my head and now it's gone!" stepping out onto the first floor where the majority of the living area rooms were located, Megamind made his way through to the room that was his wardrobe.
"Flowers! I need to get flowers! Girls like chocolates and flowers on dates, right? It's always in the movies and TV shows! Even those stupid ones!" he flipped a switch and walked into a revolving walk-in wardrobe. Clothing covering multiple hangars that were suspended on moving racks.
Minion meanwhile was having his very own little freak out session. His boss, Megamind, had a date! With a woman, a real life woman! Not like this 'Internet dates' that he had and that went fairly well until the person on the other side would ask him for a photo and when he'd give it that person would mysteriously vanish. To think, his boss on a date. Getting drinks! Complimenting the young woman on how lovely she looked, while sipping cocktails or beer! He felt like he should be documenting this whole affair with colour 3D footage. Instead he hopped from one foot to the other and back again, while his boss began going through the wardrobe.
"Sir, how about if I go and fetch some flowers for you? I know a nice little place not too far that always have good deals on flowers." he offered.
"Oh would you Minion?" Megamind asked as he held a suit in front of him as he stood before a mirror, looking to see if this shade of black and grey would suit him. "That'd be great, thanks. Make it roses! Pink ones! Red if possible! Ooh! Red on the outside and pink in the middle! Genius!" he declared, lifting his hands to the air in adulation
"Sounds lovely, Sir." Minion replied as he watched as his boss continued to pull clothing hangers off their racks to hold them in front of him, biting at his bottom lip nervously. "This is going to take a while isn't it, Sir?"
"Hm? What? Yes, yes. And see if you can do anything about the Invisible Car, if not I'll have to use some other mode of transportation." Megamind said back, having not really heard the fish since he was holding some long cape in front of him before tossing it aside. Capes wouldn't work in a bar. People would be stepping all over it and getting it all kinds of messy and he would assault anyone who dared to tread on his clothing. Then Metro Woman would have to reprimand him and the date would go South far too quickly.
The fish rolled his eyes and chuckled before heading out, to retrieve some flowers from the local floral store (which was across town since their lair wasn't near anywhere populated by stores and such) but also to check on the car. If he can't give it a quick fix, who knows what kind of vehicle his boss would use to arrive at the date location.
While the two aliens were busying themselves with their two totally different tasks at hand, time itself seemed to work at two totally different means for both of them. For Minion the hours just seemed to fly past him as he busied himself with the Invisible Car, taking out parts of the engine and putting them back and testing how the engine sounded. Unfortunately whatever damage inflicted to the poor vehicle wasn’t as fixable in a day as he had hoped. Meanwhile, for Megamind, time had seemingly been clapped in irons, chained to at least fifty iron balls and forced to carry ten times it’s weight in steel.
He had gone through so many different combinations of things to wear, yet he wasn’t happy with any of them. Nothing was good enough, nothing! And yet each time he looked at his watch on his wrist he saw only a small fraction of time had passed. Groaning to himself he decided to find just where this Padstow Arms was located. Turning on his computer he found the place was in the East district, so it wasn’t too far away from his current location but too far to walk. Glancing over his shoulder he heard Minion exclaim an insult at the car. It was still refusing to be fixed today, much to the fish’s annoyance.
“What am I going to do, think, think...!” he mused to himself as he leaned back in his high backed leather chair and put his finger tips to his temples. “The bike? No, no... that won’t work...” Megamind suddenly sat up, an idea flashing itself into his mind and he turned in his seat, grinning widely as he stared at the answer to his problems. “Oohhhhh, ho ho ho ho ho...!” Megamind couldn’t help but laugh to himself as he rubbed his hands together. “This is going to be perfect!” he declared before leaping off of his chair and hurried off to continue his preparations for the night ahead.
~*~
Meanwhile at the Scott mansion....
Metro Woman landed with her bags of shopping in the back lawn of Scott Mansion, and keyed the lock as she pulled out her phone and dialed. “Carlos? I’m in.”
“Yes, good.” Carlos was very understanding about her entering the grounds without using the gates. Her last guard had lasted a week before throwing his hands in the air and quitting.
She walked in to the manor, up a sweeping staircase and through a doorway, dropping her boxes on the foot of her bed. Her room was all closed up, and she wrinkled her nose as she walked over to the wide folding doors, opening the entire room to a huge balcony on the back of the building, before going and hooking her suit bag on the edge of her wardrobe door.
She stared at herself in the wardrobe mirror. “What have I done now?”
Her reflection made no answer, and she glared at her hair. It would need combing before tonight. Yes. But not right now?
Metro Woman turned on her heel, and went to open the boxes and bags on the end of her bed. Soon a row of boots, gloves, and a pretty blouse (all white) were on the white bed cover, and she glowered at the tall zip boots again. Really they were such an indulgence, she had no idea why she had bought them in the first place. All Megamind’s fault. But his reaction to them had been so much fun....
Oh heavens above, tonight was going to be a train wreck.
She abandoned her pile of clothing to walk through the connecting door into what should have been a study on a normal house. This room was her music room, and she immediately felt more at home than she had felt in her bedroom.
Hanging on the wall were guitars of various shapes and sizes. Standing over to one side was a gleaming white grand piano next to the folding windows onto the balcony. Musical score was propped on the stand and falling on a graceful pile of score on the floor, a pile almost as high as the piano stool.
Over to one side was a battered old walnut upright piano, rarely used, which had stacked on top of it various wind instruments in their oddly shaped boxes. The opposite corner to the grand piano was taken up with a drum kit and a stand holding several electric guitars and a bass, with various cables over the floor and a few portable and less-than-portable amplifiers and other electric music paraphernalia.
Metro Woman stalked over and pulled the doors wide here too, so that the air and light could flow in.
She sighed as she walked over, flipped switches on an amp, and grabbed her current favourite guitar. It was blue, with gold sparkles through and through, and it was strong enough that she hadn’t put her hand through it when she forgot herself in the music.
Half an hour later she put the guitar down in disgust. For some reason she just wasn’t in the mood for music as she usually was. Bad sign. That means tonight really will be a train wreck.
She moodily wandered past the wide white piano, running her hand over it, and onto the wide balcony, leaning on it to look out over the view of the gardens, standing topiary and wide sweeps of grass and flowers. She had intended to spend more of today shopping, so that she wouldn’t be so stressed about tonight. What would help? A bath? Yes. That would probably solve the hair problem also.
At nearly five o’clock, she was standing by the front door, a large case in each hand. She waved one of the suitcases at Carlos in the gatehouse after locking the front door, and took off. Would do no good to be late for her gig.
~*~
The evening, for some, had started out being fairly sub-standard for the people of the Padstow Arms. Naturally due to the guest singer for the evening there was already a crowd but the very last thing that any of them expected approaching from down the street as Megamind himself. He wasn’t even showing up in his car, heavens no, today it seemed to be a day out for the Spider Bot whose large feet clanked along the road, and glowing red eyes lit up the roads. It seemed pretty happy, and excited, to be going out on the town.
Megamind was in the control seat, strapped in, hands gripping the controls as he watched those around him either flee in their cars, or just hide in the nearby cafes and restaurants that took up most of the East side of town. Normally this would bring forth a wall of evil, maniacal laughter from the super villain but today he simply rolled his eyes. “Ah!” he cried, spotting a car tearing away from its parking spot. Spider Bot rushed ahead, and squeezed itself somehow into the car spot before Megamind unstrapped himself and jumped out of the Bot, landing on the ground.
He was of course wearing black clothing, he wouldn’t be Megamind if he showed up in anything else. Black slacks hung on his skinny legs and his feet were clad in simple black shoes. Not boots, but shoes. They had been polished to an inch of their life, and gleamed. On his torso he wore a simple black-collared shirt that had the top few buttons open, revealing his neck and his collar bone. Around his neck hung a collar, spiked of course. Megamind just wasn’t comfortable if he wasn’t wearing something with spikes attached, even if Minion had disapproved of the collar.
“Let me see...” he walked up to the ticket machine and read the instructions, before slowly putting in the money requested. Waiting, he realized he had to press the button to get the ticket, which he did, and stuck the sticker to the Spider Bot’s leg. “Now stay.” he told the Bot, who whinged at him. “No, no. Stay. Daddy has business, and you can’t come. Try not to chase people either. I’m trying to NOT get into trouble tonight. Okay? Stay.”
Backing away from the Spider Bot, who gave him his best ‘daddy don’t leave me’ whinge, he finally turned and looked at the Padstow Arms and narrowed an eye at it. Seemed fairly normal, though there certainly was a line up. Shrugging he lifted the collar on his black shirt up and he strode forward, naturally getting all kinds of reactions from the patrons once they actually saw who was amongst them since unlike his shopping spree this morning, he was not wearing a disguise at all.
Uncaring he made his way to the front of the line and stared up at the door man who gave him a long, confused look.
Megamind waited, before he sighed and rolled his eyes. “Yes yes, it is I, Megamind. Master of all evil and whatnot and yes I have come here to partake in the revelry of your locale but I must insist that you give me space. I’m a space guy. In more ways than one. And I want service, good service. Anyone looks at me the wrong way and I’ll level this place faster than you can card punch out of here. You understand me? Good. Great! Now excuse me.” and with that he pushed through, leaving the poor doorman looking all kinds of confused.
The Padstow Arms was packed with people, and rather hard to navigate, even if the people did get out of his way when they saw him. He could hear music playing somewhere, and a female voice singing. Every time he walked through a doorway, there were more happy, talking, drinking people, and another room. How big IS this place?
More important, where was she? He was on time, wasn’t he? Looking to his watch he checked the time and it said five forty seven and twenty one seconds. Okay, maybe he was a little bit early but since when did ‘good’ show up to a date if not on time, than before time? As he glanced around he began to have a sneaking, worrying, and somewhat saddening idea that she wasn’t even going to show up. Was he being stood up? How dare she stand him up! No, no, calm down. Deep breaths. Minion told you, girls show up late sometimes to dates. They do it all the time in the movies! It’s like, a, a date test. To see if the guy is freaking out or not so do NOT freak out!
He coughed and adjusted his collar again before walking up to the bar and, naturally, those at it moved away the second he approached. “Bar... person, type. Person behind the bar who makes the drinks, yes you!” Megamind pointed to the young man in black. “Yes. One pina colada. And give me one of those little umbrellas too.” he added.
The bartender gave him an odd look. He probably hasn’t seen anyone blue before thought Megamind, frowning. The bartender shrugged, nodded, and made a remarkably fruity drink in a fancy glass.
Behind and to one side, Megamind could hear a round of applause as the musician finished a song. She said something he couldn’t quite hear, and everyone laughed, and a man came through to the bar.
“She says she’s going to loose her voice if she doesn’t get another drink.” The bartender grinned, and started putting together another drink.
“Got to put it to her, she plays well.”
Megamind was holding his pina colada in both hands and taking a long, somewhat noisy sip through the straw the bartender had given him and raised an eyebrow at the man who was speaking to the bartender. Curious he turned his head to look at the large crowd that was surrounding what he could only guess was a stage. Due to his height, and the number of people though, it made things difficult to see.
Just who was it they were talking about, this singer?
The bartender handed over a large fancy drink, and it was carried carefully through the crowd. The singer was still talking to people, and greeted her drink with enthusiasm which had her fans laughing and talking some more.
It was only because of the drink carrying man making his way through the crowd that Megamind finally saw just who the singer was. He almost inhaled his straw, he was so shocked to see it was Metro Woman. She sang? Really? For people? In bars? Why hadn’t he ever known this? So did this make the date not really a date more like a working break, with him just stopping in to break up the monotony of it all for her? He turned his head away for a moment, fumbling with his drink a little as nerves suddenly took over.
He had been so preoccupied with preparing for this little ‘catch up’ here he hadn’t had time for nerves but now here they were, merrily making themselves at home in his heart and his stomach. Is it too warm in here? No. No of course not. Swallowing another mouthful of his fruity drink and wiped at the corners of his mouth afterwards. Should he go approach her? Or what? Damnit! Why hadn’t Minion done further research into the protocols for this sort of thing?
He watched from his vantage point. She was wearing a golden yellow blouse, and cream slacks, and was balanced on a tall wooden stool, one leg up under the stool so an old acoustic guitar could hook over her thigh. She was laughing as she talked to her fans, taking a sip of the drink, then placed the cup on the stool next to her, and nodding to a young couple sharing a chair in the front row (who suddenly started cheering) she started to play her guitar and sing.
And she was good at singing. Now that he was paying attention, he realised just how good she was. The chorus came around again, and the whole audience joined in, as he watched over his drink.
“Don’t it always seem to go -
That you don’t know what you’ve got ‘till it’s gone?
They paved paradise, and put in a parking lot!”
A head moved in the audience, and he almost fell off his chair trying to continue seeing her face. She was glowing with delight as she played the guitar and her voice helped guide the crowd into a semblance of tunefulness. Giving up on his idea of hanging back he abandoned what was left of his drink on the bar and began to push his way through the crowd, unapologetic in his movements at all. But then again, being Megamind he didn’t apologize to people on principle.
Finally he was only a few ‘rows’ of people from the crowd and he stopped himself from going any further, deciding to just stand amongst the crowd and watch her. And watch he did. He was somewhat thankful for the dim lighting. Those ahead of him never looked around, and thus had no idea who he was, so there wasn’t any desire from them to get out of his way. Normally he delighted in seeing people flee before him, horrified by his presence and intimidated by his awesomeness but right now... he didn’t really want that happening.
It would interrupt the song.
At the end of the song she flew into an instrumental piece. Her hands blurred in a series of very fast chords, picking out a tune faster than seemed humanly possible, and the crowd held their breath, then cheered as she came to a fancy stop at the end of the sequence. Applause and laughter, and she reached for her drink again. Megamind felt his hands moving of their own accord and clapping quietly, his applause lost amongst the cheering and applause of the crowd around him. His blue fingers, rarely on display since he was wearing fingerless gloves, slowly linked together before sliding away from one another to hang loosely by his sides.
“She’s really something, isn’t she?” said a man behind him. Before he had time to wonder if he was being talked to, the reply came from someone else.
“Yeah, you were right to say I should come tonight. This happen every Thursday night?”
“Yep. Starts her set at five, that’s why I said you should come straight after work.”
“I was late, sorry Rob. Glad I made the effort to come though.”
The talk died down as the musician raised her hand, having placed her drink aside again. “Okay, I had three requests for this next one, so pipe down, Metro City!” Chatter got louder again.
She leaned over her guitar, and started playing something complex. The voices died down, and she stopped playing, looked up, smiled at her eager audience and started playing a familiar tune.
“Yesterday... All my troubles seemed so faaar away...”
Megamind would never have thought the simple opening line of a song would ignite such a reaction in the people around him. Many of them began applauding already, whistling in celebration of having one of the most popular songs (possibly) in history being sung by the woman on her battered bar stool. She opened her mouth, stared at her crowd a mocking expression on her face, and played the chorus without singing until the crowd finally shut up, then started again with a smirk.
“Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away...
Now it looks like they are here to stay...
Oh I believe in yesterday...
Suddenly... I’m not half the girl I used to be....”
Having been ‘told off’ the crowd now stayed silent as she continued to sing the song that a Mr. McCartney had penned, and her voice was soft and low, meshing well with the guitar as she picked out the simple tune from her instrument. He found himself watching her hands more than her face, those hands that had caused so many bruises and injuries to his person and his evil devices... knowing that they were capable of making such beauty was striking for him. It made him suddenly remember, almost painfully, that all he was good at was evil and nothing else. Wishing he had another drink, he turned and pushed past the two men who had been talking behind him, and returned to the safety of the bar.
The warmth of his... adversary. Yes. His adversary in her crowd of mindless drones was suddenly incredibly depressing. The bartender seemed surprised to see him back at the bar so soon and raised his eyebrows, and was just opening his mouth to ask something when Megamind spoke first, his voice dry and strained. “Gin and tonic. On ice.”
“Sure thing.” replied the bartender as he went about making the drink, glancing across the crowd to watch the woman continue strumming away on the guitar, singing the Beatles song as if she owned it. As he returned with the drink he couldn’t help but be a little conversational with the blue super villain, since it was his job to socialize. “Gotta say, I’ve not seen her so excited to be up on stage in a long time.”
“Mhhf.” Megamind replied gruffly as he took the glass, taking a long drink of it right away.
“She said it’s an important night. Apparently she’s expecting a friend to pick her up after her set. Six thirty, she said.”
Megamind sat there, lips still to the drink, but had seemingly frozen all over. The ice inside the glass clinked against the glass, drawing him out of his awkward freeze.
“Her fans will be disappointed, usually she stays far after her set, keeps playing until the next band arrives. So if you were here for her singing... there’s less than half an hour left.”
He turned in his seat slowly to look over his shoulder, the song was already over and the crowd were showing their appreciation by the usual means of clapping and cheering. This brought on an unhappy memory of his old shool days, how the young Wendeline Scott would show off in some form or another and the mindless drones called his classmates would lap it up. How they would cheer and clap for her, and she would soak in their praise like a flower in the morning sunlight. Oh, how he wanted to be like her back then. To be popular, to be accepted and welcomed in his class rather than ostracized and forced to sit in seats away from the rest of everyone else. It was almost like time was repeating itself all over again, and he had to wonder if this was happening on purpose, like a reminder of how different they were and how things would never truly ever change for him.
Grumbling to himself about mindless drones, Megamind took another drink. He had to relax, he had to calm down, these nerves and unhappy memories were doing nothing for his state of mind or his mood.
Another song had started, one which he didn’t recognise as well. He listened to it play out, and the cheering, and slumped with a growl.
This time she started singing without playing anything on the guitar at all. “Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair.... In seventy seven and sixty nine... revolution was in the aiiir.... But I was born too late, to a world that doesn’t caaaaaree.....”
Megamind kept his back to the performance, and the crowd, as the song continued to play out, her guitar eventually joining her voice. This was one he didn’t know, far too peppy and happy to really end up on any of his play lists but it seemed those gathered were well aware of it since it wasn’t too long until there was not only clapping along with the song but foot stomping too. It all worked into the tune flawlessly, and he took another drink of his gin and tonic as the song, and accompanied noise, continued.
Even if the crowd stopped their participation to allow Metro Woman the time to sing the last, tuneless, line of the song once she was done they erupted into cheers and waves of congratulations at a job well done. Just like everywhere else he thought to himself as they cheered and clapped for the woman who could do no wrong by them at any point. Megamind sniffed at his glass and was surprised to see it was now empty, when had that happened? He couldn’t remember it happening... oh well. Sitting up straighter on his seat he pulled out his wallet and paid the bartender what he owed so far before putting it back in his pocket.
He still didn’t know when, or how, to approach her.
“Aaaand, I think that’s my set, folks.” She stood up, placing her guitar on a low table behind her, and picked up the remains of her drink. She walked straight through her admiring crowd to the bar. “Hello, handsome.”
Megamind suddenly found that he had to deal with a tall beautiful goddess, full of the energy of her amassed fans, walking straight up to him. He swallowed, throat suddenly dry despite his drinking so far, and turned his head and looked upwards at her for a brief few seconds of stunned silence. “Uh.” he started smartly, before blinking and shaking his head briefly before sitting up straighter rather then remain slumped over the bar the way he had been doing for the past few minutes. “Y-yeah! Hiiiii... hey, hey there.” Megamind tried again, the words fumbling and tumbling from his lips.
Metro Woman laughed, and passed her glass to the bartender, who swapped it for a pre-prepared drink he had been holding ready for this. She took a sip of the drink, watching him over the glass with a cheeky expression.
He was breathing possibly a little harder than he meant to be, but he blinked rapidly as he glanced around him. Most of the people who had enjoyed the set of songs were unabashedly looking their way, no doubt taken aback by the fact that Megamind was here in the bar and he wasn’t making outrageous demands or at least wearing a collar higher than his head and a cape that trailed along behind him. Megamind tapped his fingers against the bar nervously before looking up at her. “Every Thursday, huh?” he asked.
“Every Thursday. Except when someone turns the town water supply into a carbonated beverage...” She winked. “I had to tell them I had a family emergency that night.”
Megamind stared at her blankly before leaning in suddenly, eyes wide. “They don’t even know?” he asked quietly. How could nobody TELL that she was Metro Woman? Were they complete idiots?
“Not a clue. I have no idea why.” She looked over her shoulder at her adoring fans, then turned back to look at them. “Isn’t it interesting?”
“B-but it’s painfully obvious...!” Megamind stammered, gesturing to her in general though it seemed his hand tended to drift more to her chest than the rest of her. “How can they not...! Are they that drunk?”
“Nope, some of them don’t even drink.” She gestured to him “I mean.... surely they noticed you? You’re blue.”
“Gee thanks. I hadn’t noticed.” he replied sourly.
“I didn’t mean it like that.” She tilted her head at him, smiling, then took another long sip of her drink before continuing. “I just mean that we’re not sticking out that much here.”
Megamind scowled at himself for being so touchy. The memories of his childhood had soured his mood infinitely and he wished it hadn’t. But he nodded his head to her statement before looking into his glass, now filling with melted ice. This suddenly triggered something he had almost forgotten in the heat of his grumpy mood. He shoved his free hand into his pocket. “Oh, wait, wait...” he said, searching for something.
“Mmm?”
He suddenly pulled a glowing blue cube out of his pocket and held it out to her. His expression had changed from nervous worry to smug confidence. “This...” Megamind started before lifting his glass over the cube and allowed it to hover for a second, “Is for...” he tipped the glass and one drop of water landed on the blue cube. There was a brilliant flash of blue light and once it cleared he was no longer holding the cube but a bunch of flowers. “You.” he finished as he held the flowers out to her, them being at least a dozen roses. The ones on the outer rim of the bunch were deep red, whilst those in the centre were soft pink.
“Oh!” She smiled as she took the flowers. “Clever!” She buried her face in the bunch.
“....do you like them?” he asked in a quieter voice, that look of concern flashing over his face for a brief moment.
She grinned at him, and he couldn’t help but smile back. “Yes, they’re lovely, Megamind. Very thoughtful. And very good presentation.”
His heart swelled at that statement alone, and that smile broadened a little more and he settled his hands in his lap as he just sat there, smiling at her. “Thank you, I’m glad you appreciate the art of good presentation.” Megamind replied before glancing around, then back to her. “Can we try to find somewhere not so... uhm. Close?”
She raised her eyebrow at him, then looked back at her fans and laughed. “Okay. I’ve got to put these instruments somewhere safe. Meet you around the side door in about five minutes?”
“Yes. Yes! Okay. Great. Good I’ll see you out there.” he replied as he climbed down off of his seat and gave her a small wave before backing away, turning, and vanished amongst the crowds of people. You could easily track where he was going since wherever he stepped most people got out of his way.
The same could be said for his musician friend, who managed to part the crowd quite effectively despite it being composed almost entirely out of her own adoring fans. She chatted with a few regulars as she packed a pair of guitars and a ukulele into two large suitcases, carefully finding a place for the roses, wrapping their stems in a scarf she had wet in a glass of water.
She walked out, saluting the bar man with one of her suitcases, and headed for the main entrance. By the time she had reached the entrance she had mostly lost her retinue of fans, and she walked out of the door with her face a mixture of relief and disappointment. She tried to remind herself that it was natural to feel a low after a performance.
Strangely, the thing that cheered her up was the dark-clad blue man standing outside the building.
He smiled at her and stepped back before gesturing to where he’d parked the... thing that was certainly NOT his Invisible Car. Instead of the sleek, spiked black car there was a huge, red eyed, multi-limbed Spider Bot eagerly waiting to be of use again. It looked at her, and wagged the large canon that was strapped to its back like a tail. “Your chariot awaits m’lady.” he announced.
She gazed up at the Spider Bot. “Chariot.”
“You remember Spider Bot, don’t you?” he asked eagerly, as if their first meeting was one of joy and pleasantries and not Megamind riding the mechanical monstrosity through Metro City, turning everything and everyone into dehydrated cubes.
“Yes, I have to admit, I remember the Spider Bot.” She remembered that it had stained one of her favourite super suits with an odd paint gun. She also remembered ripping several of it’s legs off. Perhaps she and the Spider Bot could be considered to be even? She placed down her large suitcases, and put out a hand under it’s... front. “Um.... Nice doggie?”
The Spider Bot made a noise not unlike a dog whining, since now it seemed to recollect having its legs removed. But still, with the way Daddy was gesturing to it to ‘be nice’ it moved closer and nudged at her as gently as it could with its large bear-trap like mouth.
This was encouraging enough for her to sort of pat it on one of it’s many eye stalks. Okay. she thought This isn’t so bad. She looked over her shoulder at Megamind, who was doing his best to look encouraging.
“Excellent!” he squeaked as he hurried forward and the Spider Bot obediently lifted on of its legs, making a make-shift stepping ladder for his Daddy. “Come on, toss me your bags I’ll put them up here!” Megamind said as he climbed up onto the Spider Bot.
“Sure.” She lifted the bags, and holding one in each hand jumped easily onto the step-ladder of the leg, passing the bag up to Megamind in the cockpit of the.... beast. He took a grip of one of them and the second she let go of it the sheer weight of it sent the skinny Megamind tumbling backwards into the Spider Bot’s cockpit, yelping in surprise as he did. He was somewhat pinned beneath the bag, at least for a brief moment, before squeezing out from under it and lugging it as best he could until it was up right. Face a brilliant purple he went for the second case, “No worries. It’s nothing. I’m fine!” he said before she could even say anything, grabbing the bag from her hand. The same thing happened again.
Face flushed violet he returned to where Metro Woman stood on the Spider Bot’s leg, chest heaving, as he reached out and offered her his hand. “Up.... up you... get...” he wheezed.
“Thank you, Megamind” she said, gracefully levitating the distance, with her hand on his. He suddenly noticed that her hand was touching his, and went from ordinary violet to violent violet. Even the tips of his ears changed color from their regular healthy pink to purple.
She took her seat in the back of the Bot. He was regretting the fact that the Bot only had one front seat. “R-right then!” Megamind got into the front seat but tilted his head to look over his shoulder at her, “Any desired... uh.. location?” he asked, gripping the controls in his hands.
“Somewhere with food.” She wished angrily to herself that she had made a reservation somewhere. “Food would be good.” She was ravenously hungry.
“Food is always good.” Megamind replied, before thinking fast, he had no slow setting when it came to thinking, and smiled brightly. “I’ve got just the place.”
Spider Bot leaped out of his parking spot, the sticker on his leg falling away as he began to merrily dash down the street, surprisingly smooth and fluid for now large, clunky and spiky he appeared. “Minion and I used to stop by this place back when we were still growing into the evil genre! They make the best food in town, bar none!” he explained to her as the Spider Bot made a right, just missed treading on a taxi, and kept going.
CHAPTER 3
To be continued
Authors: cgaussie and threequarterfox
Rating: PG
Warnings: This is a genderbended light hearted alternate universe sillyfic. Please enjoy.
Summary: Megamind now has to panic over just what to wear to a date with your rival. Flashy? Fancy? Smart? Casual? Spikes? Leather? Chains? It’s all so hard to decide with a wardrobe like his.
Part 1
Chapter Two: Padstow Arms
"No, don't go in there! You'll find Antoni in the arms of Margarita and you'll know the baby isn't yours!" Minion yelled at the screen as he sat on the couch, darning some holes in a cape that had been damaged in he and Megamind's last altercation with Metro Woman. Seeing how it was an 'off day' his boss had gone off in search of new shoes due to his mishap with the Evil Credit Card. This meant that the fish had a day off to do his own thing, but his 'own thing' normally involved doing things to do with his boss, which was totally natural for the little guy.
He heard the rattling rumble of the Invisible Car as it pulled into the lair and made a mental note to go about fixing the engine that was obviously still suffering the affects of Metro Woman's punishment upon it. Getting up off of the couch he began riding down the elevator that had been installed in the Lair to enable easy access to the two floors that stood above the main floor. But what he found waiting for him wasn't what he expected.
True, it was Megamind, his master and best friend, but he was standing in front of his mirror, looking at himself. He was licking his fingers and sliding them across his eyebrows, then his goatee. Then he did it again, while turning to look at himself nervously. He really did look a sight.
"Sir? Are you all right?" Minion asked as he stepped out of the elevator, feeling a little worried for is boss who had never looked so nervous before.
"Minion!" Megamind gasped, as if he hadn't even heard the clanking robot body approach. "Minion you... oh Minion, the most bizarre thing ever has just happened!"
"What is it sir? Did Metro Woman leave Metro City?" the fish asked.
"What? No! I hope not!" Megamind replied, which caused the fishes eyes to widen. "I say that because... Minion..." he stood tall and put his hands to his chest, smiling in a proud manner. "I have a date."
Minion stood there for a moment. "You're kidding." he said straight up.
"No!" Megamind grinned.
"You?" Minion asked, "Have a date?"
"Yes!" replied Megamind, still grinning.
"You, Megamind, incredibly handsome criminal genius and master of all villainy have a date. You?"
"I'm getting sick of this questioning Minion. Is it so hard to believe I have a date?" he asked, narrowing a green eye.
Minion stopped himself to think fast before answering that question. "No Sir, of course not! Why, I'm surprised you've kept women at arm’s length as long as you have, Sir. A handsome Casanova like you must be beating them back with a stick and to think that you've allowed one lucky lady through...! This is amazing!"
"That's better Minion." Megamind muttered more to himself before rounding on his reflection, eyes narrowing. "But now I am struck with the troublesome dilemma."
"Sir?" Minion asked.
"What am I going to WEAR!?" cried the alien as he rushed from the mirror and raced his way to the elevator, waiting for Minion to join him. "I have to go through my wardrobe! Something classy, but not too classy! Leather, maybe? Or should I go with a cotton jacket? Maybe a vest. A vest is fancy, am I right? Minion are my shirts pressed and ironed? What about my pants? I can't show up in jeans, or tight leather pants! Or can I wear leather pants? This is important! I also have to, have to, oh shoot it was just in my head and now it's gone!" stepping out onto the first floor where the majority of the living area rooms were located, Megamind made his way through to the room that was his wardrobe.
"Flowers! I need to get flowers! Girls like chocolates and flowers on dates, right? It's always in the movies and TV shows! Even those stupid ones!" he flipped a switch and walked into a revolving walk-in wardrobe. Clothing covering multiple hangars that were suspended on moving racks.
Minion meanwhile was having his very own little freak out session. His boss, Megamind, had a date! With a woman, a real life woman! Not like this 'Internet dates' that he had and that went fairly well until the person on the other side would ask him for a photo and when he'd give it that person would mysteriously vanish. To think, his boss on a date. Getting drinks! Complimenting the young woman on how lovely she looked, while sipping cocktails or beer! He felt like he should be documenting this whole affair with colour 3D footage. Instead he hopped from one foot to the other and back again, while his boss began going through the wardrobe.
"Sir, how about if I go and fetch some flowers for you? I know a nice little place not too far that always have good deals on flowers." he offered.
"Oh would you Minion?" Megamind asked as he held a suit in front of him as he stood before a mirror, looking to see if this shade of black and grey would suit him. "That'd be great, thanks. Make it roses! Pink ones! Red if possible! Ooh! Red on the outside and pink in the middle! Genius!" he declared, lifting his hands to the air in adulation
"Sounds lovely, Sir." Minion replied as he watched as his boss continued to pull clothing hangers off their racks to hold them in front of him, biting at his bottom lip nervously. "This is going to take a while isn't it, Sir?"
"Hm? What? Yes, yes. And see if you can do anything about the Invisible Car, if not I'll have to use some other mode of transportation." Megamind said back, having not really heard the fish since he was holding some long cape in front of him before tossing it aside. Capes wouldn't work in a bar. People would be stepping all over it and getting it all kinds of messy and he would assault anyone who dared to tread on his clothing. Then Metro Woman would have to reprimand him and the date would go South far too quickly.
The fish rolled his eyes and chuckled before heading out, to retrieve some flowers from the local floral store (which was across town since their lair wasn't near anywhere populated by stores and such) but also to check on the car. If he can't give it a quick fix, who knows what kind of vehicle his boss would use to arrive at the date location.
While the two aliens were busying themselves with their two totally different tasks at hand, time itself seemed to work at two totally different means for both of them. For Minion the hours just seemed to fly past him as he busied himself with the Invisible Car, taking out parts of the engine and putting them back and testing how the engine sounded. Unfortunately whatever damage inflicted to the poor vehicle wasn’t as fixable in a day as he had hoped. Meanwhile, for Megamind, time had seemingly been clapped in irons, chained to at least fifty iron balls and forced to carry ten times it’s weight in steel.
He had gone through so many different combinations of things to wear, yet he wasn’t happy with any of them. Nothing was good enough, nothing! And yet each time he looked at his watch on his wrist he saw only a small fraction of time had passed. Groaning to himself he decided to find just where this Padstow Arms was located. Turning on his computer he found the place was in the East district, so it wasn’t too far away from his current location but too far to walk. Glancing over his shoulder he heard Minion exclaim an insult at the car. It was still refusing to be fixed today, much to the fish’s annoyance.
“What am I going to do, think, think...!” he mused to himself as he leaned back in his high backed leather chair and put his finger tips to his temples. “The bike? No, no... that won’t work...” Megamind suddenly sat up, an idea flashing itself into his mind and he turned in his seat, grinning widely as he stared at the answer to his problems. “Oohhhhh, ho ho ho ho ho...!” Megamind couldn’t help but laugh to himself as he rubbed his hands together. “This is going to be perfect!” he declared before leaping off of his chair and hurried off to continue his preparations for the night ahead.
~*~
Meanwhile at the Scott mansion....
Metro Woman landed with her bags of shopping in the back lawn of Scott Mansion, and keyed the lock as she pulled out her phone and dialed. “Carlos? I’m in.”
“Yes, good.” Carlos was very understanding about her entering the grounds without using the gates. Her last guard had lasted a week before throwing his hands in the air and quitting.
She walked in to the manor, up a sweeping staircase and through a doorway, dropping her boxes on the foot of her bed. Her room was all closed up, and she wrinkled her nose as she walked over to the wide folding doors, opening the entire room to a huge balcony on the back of the building, before going and hooking her suit bag on the edge of her wardrobe door.
She stared at herself in the wardrobe mirror. “What have I done now?”
Her reflection made no answer, and she glared at her hair. It would need combing before tonight. Yes. But not right now?
Metro Woman turned on her heel, and went to open the boxes and bags on the end of her bed. Soon a row of boots, gloves, and a pretty blouse (all white) were on the white bed cover, and she glowered at the tall zip boots again. Really they were such an indulgence, she had no idea why she had bought them in the first place. All Megamind’s fault. But his reaction to them had been so much fun....
Oh heavens above, tonight was going to be a train wreck.
She abandoned her pile of clothing to walk through the connecting door into what should have been a study on a normal house. This room was her music room, and she immediately felt more at home than she had felt in her bedroom.
Hanging on the wall were guitars of various shapes and sizes. Standing over to one side was a gleaming white grand piano next to the folding windows onto the balcony. Musical score was propped on the stand and falling on a graceful pile of score on the floor, a pile almost as high as the piano stool.
Over to one side was a battered old walnut upright piano, rarely used, which had stacked on top of it various wind instruments in their oddly shaped boxes. The opposite corner to the grand piano was taken up with a drum kit and a stand holding several electric guitars and a bass, with various cables over the floor and a few portable and less-than-portable amplifiers and other electric music paraphernalia.
Metro Woman stalked over and pulled the doors wide here too, so that the air and light could flow in.
She sighed as she walked over, flipped switches on an amp, and grabbed her current favourite guitar. It was blue, with gold sparkles through and through, and it was strong enough that she hadn’t put her hand through it when she forgot herself in the music.
Half an hour later she put the guitar down in disgust. For some reason she just wasn’t in the mood for music as she usually was. Bad sign. That means tonight really will be a train wreck.
She moodily wandered past the wide white piano, running her hand over it, and onto the wide balcony, leaning on it to look out over the view of the gardens, standing topiary and wide sweeps of grass and flowers. She had intended to spend more of today shopping, so that she wouldn’t be so stressed about tonight. What would help? A bath? Yes. That would probably solve the hair problem also.
At nearly five o’clock, she was standing by the front door, a large case in each hand. She waved one of the suitcases at Carlos in the gatehouse after locking the front door, and took off. Would do no good to be late for her gig.
~*~
The evening, for some, had started out being fairly sub-standard for the people of the Padstow Arms. Naturally due to the guest singer for the evening there was already a crowd but the very last thing that any of them expected approaching from down the street as Megamind himself. He wasn’t even showing up in his car, heavens no, today it seemed to be a day out for the Spider Bot whose large feet clanked along the road, and glowing red eyes lit up the roads. It seemed pretty happy, and excited, to be going out on the town.
Megamind was in the control seat, strapped in, hands gripping the controls as he watched those around him either flee in their cars, or just hide in the nearby cafes and restaurants that took up most of the East side of town. Normally this would bring forth a wall of evil, maniacal laughter from the super villain but today he simply rolled his eyes. “Ah!” he cried, spotting a car tearing away from its parking spot. Spider Bot rushed ahead, and squeezed itself somehow into the car spot before Megamind unstrapped himself and jumped out of the Bot, landing on the ground.
He was of course wearing black clothing, he wouldn’t be Megamind if he showed up in anything else. Black slacks hung on his skinny legs and his feet were clad in simple black shoes. Not boots, but shoes. They had been polished to an inch of their life, and gleamed. On his torso he wore a simple black-collared shirt that had the top few buttons open, revealing his neck and his collar bone. Around his neck hung a collar, spiked of course. Megamind just wasn’t comfortable if he wasn’t wearing something with spikes attached, even if Minion had disapproved of the collar.
“Let me see...” he walked up to the ticket machine and read the instructions, before slowly putting in the money requested. Waiting, he realized he had to press the button to get the ticket, which he did, and stuck the sticker to the Spider Bot’s leg. “Now stay.” he told the Bot, who whinged at him. “No, no. Stay. Daddy has business, and you can’t come. Try not to chase people either. I’m trying to NOT get into trouble tonight. Okay? Stay.”
Backing away from the Spider Bot, who gave him his best ‘daddy don’t leave me’ whinge, he finally turned and looked at the Padstow Arms and narrowed an eye at it. Seemed fairly normal, though there certainly was a line up. Shrugging he lifted the collar on his black shirt up and he strode forward, naturally getting all kinds of reactions from the patrons once they actually saw who was amongst them since unlike his shopping spree this morning, he was not wearing a disguise at all.
Uncaring he made his way to the front of the line and stared up at the door man who gave him a long, confused look.
Megamind waited, before he sighed and rolled his eyes. “Yes yes, it is I, Megamind. Master of all evil and whatnot and yes I have come here to partake in the revelry of your locale but I must insist that you give me space. I’m a space guy. In more ways than one. And I want service, good service. Anyone looks at me the wrong way and I’ll level this place faster than you can card punch out of here. You understand me? Good. Great! Now excuse me.” and with that he pushed through, leaving the poor doorman looking all kinds of confused.
The Padstow Arms was packed with people, and rather hard to navigate, even if the people did get out of his way when they saw him. He could hear music playing somewhere, and a female voice singing. Every time he walked through a doorway, there were more happy, talking, drinking people, and another room. How big IS this place?
More important, where was she? He was on time, wasn’t he? Looking to his watch he checked the time and it said five forty seven and twenty one seconds. Okay, maybe he was a little bit early but since when did ‘good’ show up to a date if not on time, than before time? As he glanced around he began to have a sneaking, worrying, and somewhat saddening idea that she wasn’t even going to show up. Was he being stood up? How dare she stand him up! No, no, calm down. Deep breaths. Minion told you, girls show up late sometimes to dates. They do it all the time in the movies! It’s like, a, a date test. To see if the guy is freaking out or not so do NOT freak out!
He coughed and adjusted his collar again before walking up to the bar and, naturally, those at it moved away the second he approached. “Bar... person, type. Person behind the bar who makes the drinks, yes you!” Megamind pointed to the young man in black. “Yes. One pina colada. And give me one of those little umbrellas too.” he added.
The bartender gave him an odd look. He probably hasn’t seen anyone blue before thought Megamind, frowning. The bartender shrugged, nodded, and made a remarkably fruity drink in a fancy glass.
Behind and to one side, Megamind could hear a round of applause as the musician finished a song. She said something he couldn’t quite hear, and everyone laughed, and a man came through to the bar.
“She says she’s going to loose her voice if she doesn’t get another drink.” The bartender grinned, and started putting together another drink.
“Got to put it to her, she plays well.”
Megamind was holding his pina colada in both hands and taking a long, somewhat noisy sip through the straw the bartender had given him and raised an eyebrow at the man who was speaking to the bartender. Curious he turned his head to look at the large crowd that was surrounding what he could only guess was a stage. Due to his height, and the number of people though, it made things difficult to see.
Just who was it they were talking about, this singer?
The bartender handed over a large fancy drink, and it was carried carefully through the crowd. The singer was still talking to people, and greeted her drink with enthusiasm which had her fans laughing and talking some more.
It was only because of the drink carrying man making his way through the crowd that Megamind finally saw just who the singer was. He almost inhaled his straw, he was so shocked to see it was Metro Woman. She sang? Really? For people? In bars? Why hadn’t he ever known this? So did this make the date not really a date more like a working break, with him just stopping in to break up the monotony of it all for her? He turned his head away for a moment, fumbling with his drink a little as nerves suddenly took over.
He had been so preoccupied with preparing for this little ‘catch up’ here he hadn’t had time for nerves but now here they were, merrily making themselves at home in his heart and his stomach. Is it too warm in here? No. No of course not. Swallowing another mouthful of his fruity drink and wiped at the corners of his mouth afterwards. Should he go approach her? Or what? Damnit! Why hadn’t Minion done further research into the protocols for this sort of thing?
He watched from his vantage point. She was wearing a golden yellow blouse, and cream slacks, and was balanced on a tall wooden stool, one leg up under the stool so an old acoustic guitar could hook over her thigh. She was laughing as she talked to her fans, taking a sip of the drink, then placed the cup on the stool next to her, and nodding to a young couple sharing a chair in the front row (who suddenly started cheering) she started to play her guitar and sing.
And she was good at singing. Now that he was paying attention, he realised just how good she was. The chorus came around again, and the whole audience joined in, as he watched over his drink.
“Don’t it always seem to go -
That you don’t know what you’ve got ‘till it’s gone?
They paved paradise, and put in a parking lot!”
A head moved in the audience, and he almost fell off his chair trying to continue seeing her face. She was glowing with delight as she played the guitar and her voice helped guide the crowd into a semblance of tunefulness. Giving up on his idea of hanging back he abandoned what was left of his drink on the bar and began to push his way through the crowd, unapologetic in his movements at all. But then again, being Megamind he didn’t apologize to people on principle.
Finally he was only a few ‘rows’ of people from the crowd and he stopped himself from going any further, deciding to just stand amongst the crowd and watch her. And watch he did. He was somewhat thankful for the dim lighting. Those ahead of him never looked around, and thus had no idea who he was, so there wasn’t any desire from them to get out of his way. Normally he delighted in seeing people flee before him, horrified by his presence and intimidated by his awesomeness but right now... he didn’t really want that happening.
It would interrupt the song.
At the end of the song she flew into an instrumental piece. Her hands blurred in a series of very fast chords, picking out a tune faster than seemed humanly possible, and the crowd held their breath, then cheered as she came to a fancy stop at the end of the sequence. Applause and laughter, and she reached for her drink again. Megamind felt his hands moving of their own accord and clapping quietly, his applause lost amongst the cheering and applause of the crowd around him. His blue fingers, rarely on display since he was wearing fingerless gloves, slowly linked together before sliding away from one another to hang loosely by his sides.
“She’s really something, isn’t she?” said a man behind him. Before he had time to wonder if he was being talked to, the reply came from someone else.
“Yeah, you were right to say I should come tonight. This happen every Thursday night?”
“Yep. Starts her set at five, that’s why I said you should come straight after work.”
“I was late, sorry Rob. Glad I made the effort to come though.”
The talk died down as the musician raised her hand, having placed her drink aside again. “Okay, I had three requests for this next one, so pipe down, Metro City!” Chatter got louder again.
She leaned over her guitar, and started playing something complex. The voices died down, and she stopped playing, looked up, smiled at her eager audience and started playing a familiar tune.
“Yesterday... All my troubles seemed so faaar away...”
Megamind would never have thought the simple opening line of a song would ignite such a reaction in the people around him. Many of them began applauding already, whistling in celebration of having one of the most popular songs (possibly) in history being sung by the woman on her battered bar stool. She opened her mouth, stared at her crowd a mocking expression on her face, and played the chorus without singing until the crowd finally shut up, then started again with a smirk.
“Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away...
Now it looks like they are here to stay...
Oh I believe in yesterday...
Suddenly... I’m not half the girl I used to be....”
Having been ‘told off’ the crowd now stayed silent as she continued to sing the song that a Mr. McCartney had penned, and her voice was soft and low, meshing well with the guitar as she picked out the simple tune from her instrument. He found himself watching her hands more than her face, those hands that had caused so many bruises and injuries to his person and his evil devices... knowing that they were capable of making such beauty was striking for him. It made him suddenly remember, almost painfully, that all he was good at was evil and nothing else. Wishing he had another drink, he turned and pushed past the two men who had been talking behind him, and returned to the safety of the bar.
The warmth of his... adversary. Yes. His adversary in her crowd of mindless drones was suddenly incredibly depressing. The bartender seemed surprised to see him back at the bar so soon and raised his eyebrows, and was just opening his mouth to ask something when Megamind spoke first, his voice dry and strained. “Gin and tonic. On ice.”
“Sure thing.” replied the bartender as he went about making the drink, glancing across the crowd to watch the woman continue strumming away on the guitar, singing the Beatles song as if she owned it. As he returned with the drink he couldn’t help but be a little conversational with the blue super villain, since it was his job to socialize. “Gotta say, I’ve not seen her so excited to be up on stage in a long time.”
“Mhhf.” Megamind replied gruffly as he took the glass, taking a long drink of it right away.
“She said it’s an important night. Apparently she’s expecting a friend to pick her up after her set. Six thirty, she said.”
Megamind sat there, lips still to the drink, but had seemingly frozen all over. The ice inside the glass clinked against the glass, drawing him out of his awkward freeze.
“Her fans will be disappointed, usually she stays far after her set, keeps playing until the next band arrives. So if you were here for her singing... there’s less than half an hour left.”
He turned in his seat slowly to look over his shoulder, the song was already over and the crowd were showing their appreciation by the usual means of clapping and cheering. This brought on an unhappy memory of his old shool days, how the young Wendeline Scott would show off in some form or another and the mindless drones called his classmates would lap it up. How they would cheer and clap for her, and she would soak in their praise like a flower in the morning sunlight. Oh, how he wanted to be like her back then. To be popular, to be accepted and welcomed in his class rather than ostracized and forced to sit in seats away from the rest of everyone else. It was almost like time was repeating itself all over again, and he had to wonder if this was happening on purpose, like a reminder of how different they were and how things would never truly ever change for him.
Grumbling to himself about mindless drones, Megamind took another drink. He had to relax, he had to calm down, these nerves and unhappy memories were doing nothing for his state of mind or his mood.
Another song had started, one which he didn’t recognise as well. He listened to it play out, and the cheering, and slumped with a growl.
This time she started singing without playing anything on the guitar at all. “Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair.... In seventy seven and sixty nine... revolution was in the aiiir.... But I was born too late, to a world that doesn’t caaaaaree.....”
Megamind kept his back to the performance, and the crowd, as the song continued to play out, her guitar eventually joining her voice. This was one he didn’t know, far too peppy and happy to really end up on any of his play lists but it seemed those gathered were well aware of it since it wasn’t too long until there was not only clapping along with the song but foot stomping too. It all worked into the tune flawlessly, and he took another drink of his gin and tonic as the song, and accompanied noise, continued.
Even if the crowd stopped their participation to allow Metro Woman the time to sing the last, tuneless, line of the song once she was done they erupted into cheers and waves of congratulations at a job well done. Just like everywhere else he thought to himself as they cheered and clapped for the woman who could do no wrong by them at any point. Megamind sniffed at his glass and was surprised to see it was now empty, when had that happened? He couldn’t remember it happening... oh well. Sitting up straighter on his seat he pulled out his wallet and paid the bartender what he owed so far before putting it back in his pocket.
He still didn’t know when, or how, to approach her.
“Aaaand, I think that’s my set, folks.” She stood up, placing her guitar on a low table behind her, and picked up the remains of her drink. She walked straight through her admiring crowd to the bar. “Hello, handsome.”
Megamind suddenly found that he had to deal with a tall beautiful goddess, full of the energy of her amassed fans, walking straight up to him. He swallowed, throat suddenly dry despite his drinking so far, and turned his head and looked upwards at her for a brief few seconds of stunned silence. “Uh.” he started smartly, before blinking and shaking his head briefly before sitting up straighter rather then remain slumped over the bar the way he had been doing for the past few minutes. “Y-yeah! Hiiiii... hey, hey there.” Megamind tried again, the words fumbling and tumbling from his lips.
Metro Woman laughed, and passed her glass to the bartender, who swapped it for a pre-prepared drink he had been holding ready for this. She took a sip of the drink, watching him over the glass with a cheeky expression.
He was breathing possibly a little harder than he meant to be, but he blinked rapidly as he glanced around him. Most of the people who had enjoyed the set of songs were unabashedly looking their way, no doubt taken aback by the fact that Megamind was here in the bar and he wasn’t making outrageous demands or at least wearing a collar higher than his head and a cape that trailed along behind him. Megamind tapped his fingers against the bar nervously before looking up at her. “Every Thursday, huh?” he asked.
“Every Thursday. Except when someone turns the town water supply into a carbonated beverage...” She winked. “I had to tell them I had a family emergency that night.”
Megamind stared at her blankly before leaning in suddenly, eyes wide. “They don’t even know?” he asked quietly. How could nobody TELL that she was Metro Woman? Were they complete idiots?
“Not a clue. I have no idea why.” She looked over her shoulder at her adoring fans, then turned back to look at them. “Isn’t it interesting?”
“B-but it’s painfully obvious...!” Megamind stammered, gesturing to her in general though it seemed his hand tended to drift more to her chest than the rest of her. “How can they not...! Are they that drunk?”
“Nope, some of them don’t even drink.” She gestured to him “I mean.... surely they noticed you? You’re blue.”
“Gee thanks. I hadn’t noticed.” he replied sourly.
“I didn’t mean it like that.” She tilted her head at him, smiling, then took another long sip of her drink before continuing. “I just mean that we’re not sticking out that much here.”
Megamind scowled at himself for being so touchy. The memories of his childhood had soured his mood infinitely and he wished it hadn’t. But he nodded his head to her statement before looking into his glass, now filling with melted ice. This suddenly triggered something he had almost forgotten in the heat of his grumpy mood. He shoved his free hand into his pocket. “Oh, wait, wait...” he said, searching for something.
“Mmm?”
He suddenly pulled a glowing blue cube out of his pocket and held it out to her. His expression had changed from nervous worry to smug confidence. “This...” Megamind started before lifting his glass over the cube and allowed it to hover for a second, “Is for...” he tipped the glass and one drop of water landed on the blue cube. There was a brilliant flash of blue light and once it cleared he was no longer holding the cube but a bunch of flowers. “You.” he finished as he held the flowers out to her, them being at least a dozen roses. The ones on the outer rim of the bunch were deep red, whilst those in the centre were soft pink.
“Oh!” She smiled as she took the flowers. “Clever!” She buried her face in the bunch.
“....do you like them?” he asked in a quieter voice, that look of concern flashing over his face for a brief moment.
She grinned at him, and he couldn’t help but smile back. “Yes, they’re lovely, Megamind. Very thoughtful. And very good presentation.”
His heart swelled at that statement alone, and that smile broadened a little more and he settled his hands in his lap as he just sat there, smiling at her. “Thank you, I’m glad you appreciate the art of good presentation.” Megamind replied before glancing around, then back to her. “Can we try to find somewhere not so... uhm. Close?”
She raised her eyebrow at him, then looked back at her fans and laughed. “Okay. I’ve got to put these instruments somewhere safe. Meet you around the side door in about five minutes?”
“Yes. Yes! Okay. Great. Good I’ll see you out there.” he replied as he climbed down off of his seat and gave her a small wave before backing away, turning, and vanished amongst the crowds of people. You could easily track where he was going since wherever he stepped most people got out of his way.
The same could be said for his musician friend, who managed to part the crowd quite effectively despite it being composed almost entirely out of her own adoring fans. She chatted with a few regulars as she packed a pair of guitars and a ukulele into two large suitcases, carefully finding a place for the roses, wrapping their stems in a scarf she had wet in a glass of water.
She walked out, saluting the bar man with one of her suitcases, and headed for the main entrance. By the time she had reached the entrance she had mostly lost her retinue of fans, and she walked out of the door with her face a mixture of relief and disappointment. She tried to remind herself that it was natural to feel a low after a performance.
Strangely, the thing that cheered her up was the dark-clad blue man standing outside the building.
He smiled at her and stepped back before gesturing to where he’d parked the... thing that was certainly NOT his Invisible Car. Instead of the sleek, spiked black car there was a huge, red eyed, multi-limbed Spider Bot eagerly waiting to be of use again. It looked at her, and wagged the large canon that was strapped to its back like a tail. “Your chariot awaits m’lady.” he announced.
She gazed up at the Spider Bot. “Chariot.”
“You remember Spider Bot, don’t you?” he asked eagerly, as if their first meeting was one of joy and pleasantries and not Megamind riding the mechanical monstrosity through Metro City, turning everything and everyone into dehydrated cubes.
“Yes, I have to admit, I remember the Spider Bot.” She remembered that it had stained one of her favourite super suits with an odd paint gun. She also remembered ripping several of it’s legs off. Perhaps she and the Spider Bot could be considered to be even? She placed down her large suitcases, and put out a hand under it’s... front. “Um.... Nice doggie?”
The Spider Bot made a noise not unlike a dog whining, since now it seemed to recollect having its legs removed. But still, with the way Daddy was gesturing to it to ‘be nice’ it moved closer and nudged at her as gently as it could with its large bear-trap like mouth.
This was encouraging enough for her to sort of pat it on one of it’s many eye stalks. Okay. she thought This isn’t so bad. She looked over her shoulder at Megamind, who was doing his best to look encouraging.
“Excellent!” he squeaked as he hurried forward and the Spider Bot obediently lifted on of its legs, making a make-shift stepping ladder for his Daddy. “Come on, toss me your bags I’ll put them up here!” Megamind said as he climbed up onto the Spider Bot.
“Sure.” She lifted the bags, and holding one in each hand jumped easily onto the step-ladder of the leg, passing the bag up to Megamind in the cockpit of the.... beast. He took a grip of one of them and the second she let go of it the sheer weight of it sent the skinny Megamind tumbling backwards into the Spider Bot’s cockpit, yelping in surprise as he did. He was somewhat pinned beneath the bag, at least for a brief moment, before squeezing out from under it and lugging it as best he could until it was up right. Face a brilliant purple he went for the second case, “No worries. It’s nothing. I’m fine!” he said before she could even say anything, grabbing the bag from her hand. The same thing happened again.
Face flushed violet he returned to where Metro Woman stood on the Spider Bot’s leg, chest heaving, as he reached out and offered her his hand. “Up.... up you... get...” he wheezed.
“Thank you, Megamind” she said, gracefully levitating the distance, with her hand on his. He suddenly noticed that her hand was touching his, and went from ordinary violet to violent violet. Even the tips of his ears changed color from their regular healthy pink to purple.
She took her seat in the back of the Bot. He was regretting the fact that the Bot only had one front seat. “R-right then!” Megamind got into the front seat but tilted his head to look over his shoulder at her, “Any desired... uh.. location?” he asked, gripping the controls in his hands.
“Somewhere with food.” She wished angrily to herself that she had made a reservation somewhere. “Food would be good.” She was ravenously hungry.
“Food is always good.” Megamind replied, before thinking fast, he had no slow setting when it came to thinking, and smiled brightly. “I’ve got just the place.”
Spider Bot leaped out of his parking spot, the sticker on his leg falling away as he began to merrily dash down the street, surprisingly smooth and fluid for now large, clunky and spiky he appeared. “Minion and I used to stop by this place back when we were still growing into the evil genre! They make the best food in town, bar none!” he explained to her as the Spider Bot made a right, just missed treading on a taxi, and kept going.
CHAPTER 3
To be continued